The Law of First Things

Main idea: Being with God must outpace doing for God.

ME

This morning we’re starting a new series called Faking Fine. We’re going to spend the next few weeks looking at seven unbreakable laws of emotional health we must obey if we want to thrive as human beings. I’m calling them laws because, while you can bend them for a time, eventually they snap back and you and those around you experience the consequences.

You know this drill. You bumped into someone at Walmart or in the hallway at work and they ask you how you’re doing. What’s our default answer? “Fine. Crazy busy, but good! ”

And yet deep down, are we really? Use Fine mask

Marriage may be failing… but I’m fine.

My job is being eliminated… but I’m fine.

I constantly battle loneliness… but I’m fine.

I may fail school… but I’m fine.

I’m struggling with addiction… but I’m fine.

So often we end up going through the motions externally while internally, our lives are full of anxiety, unresolved pain, frustration, and a host of other telltale signs that we are not doing fine.

Pete Scazzero, in his Emotionally Healthy series of books, rightly discerns that “You cannot be spiritually mature and remain emotionally immature.”

Emotional maturity may not seem like the right goal for the Christian life, but the reality is that the reason we often remain stuck spiritually is because we have never addressed these laws governing our emotional health. According to Scazzero...

Emotional immaturity: the inability to love well, characterized by a state of self-centered reactivity, defensiveness, and self protection.

And when we remain emotionally immature, we end up faking fine.

This morning, I want to talk about the first law that is woven into the very fabric of our being. One that when broken always lead to exhaustion, burnout and faking fine. I’m subject to this law. You are subject to this law. Everyone you know is subject to it. You don’t need to be a Christian or even believe in God for this law to be true in your life.

As I said, you can ignore it for a time, but it always comes back to bite you. I’m calling it The Law of First Things. It’s a simple law and it goes like this: Your being must outpace your doing.

I’ve now learned several ways to recognize that I have been bending this law too much.

I become highly reactive. I.e. I get mad easily.

I find myself wanting to retreat from people to an unhealthy degree.

Small things irritate me far beyond what they should.

Changes to my plan leaves me feeling anxious or out of control.

Give example of missing a turn and my anger and frustration boiling over… Why? Doing > Being.

When I see these tendencies in my life now, I understand that they are warning signs that I’m violating this first unbreakable law and I’m exhausted, burned out, and faking fine.

WE

I’m going to go out on a limb and guess I’m not the only one who sees this Law of First Things at work in their life.

Score-keeping: you harbor quiet bitterness toward people who seem to be doing less than you.

Transactional faith: Prayer has degraded from intimate communication to a laundry list.

Identity displacement: Your self worth is tied to your definition of success instead of your relationship with God.

People as obstacles: People become tools to meet your needs instead of souls to love.

Spiritual impostor syndrome: Find yourself serving a God you don’t take time to actually know.

Breaking the Law of First Things always ends in one of two outcomes: full-blown burnout or faking fine.

Again, this is not a Christian thing. This is a human thing. And when you find yourself acting in ways that are inconsistent with your character or with who you want to be, you’re not broken. Chances are your doing has outpaced your being.

I think there is one primary thing that causes us to consistently break this Law of First Things: Hurry. You cannot grow to spiritual and emotional health in a hurry.

And yet hurry and busyness have became the new norm. The speed of life has increased exponentially over previous generations:

The average adult makes roughly 35,000 micro-decisions every single day.

Average walking speeds have increased by 15% over the last 20 years.

Our average attention span before switching tasks on a screen has dropped 2.5 minutes in 2004 to just 47 seconds today.

The average adult is exposed to more raw information in a single day that a person in the 17th century encountered in their whole life.

We live at a pace our souls were never designed to handle. John Mark Comer put it bluntly: "If the devil can’t make you bad, he’ll make you busy. Because both produce the same result: a life disconnected from God, others, and your own soul."

Yet, we convince ourselves that if we just hustle harder, serve more, read more, and do more, we’ll eventually feel spiritually mature. But you cannot build a deep, authentic life with God on a foundation of pathological busyness. Your being with God must outpace your doing for God.

GOD

Fortunately, for us, this issue of hurry and emotional immaturity was addressed by Jesus in a story recorded for us and Luke 10.

“As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.” (Luke 10:38–40, NIV)

Jesus never comes alone. Shows up with entourage. Jewish custom demanded hospitality.

Mary is sitting at Jesus feet. This is an Jewish idiom for being a disciple. Jesus “a woman’s place is in leadership”.

Martha is distracted. The Greek word for distracted is perispao. It means “to be pulled away or drug in circles”. Hurried. Stressed. Slamming pots trying to get Mary’s attention. IF they have household servants they are all rushing around trying to stay on Martha’s good side bc The state you are in is the state you give others.

Martha is distracted - and everyone else, except Mary apparently, is experiencing consequences. Ever been distracted?

Martha wasn’t doing bad things. She’s just busy. There’s food to prepare. Tables to be set. Sweet tea to be made. She wants to be a good hostess. This is the underlying danger of hurry: Hurry forces you to choose what feels urgent over what is really important. As a result, Martha’s inner life is being dragged around by her outer activity.

Mary is choosing to savor the Savior. Martha is choosing to serve the Savior. Both are good. But one must come first. Martha is violating the Law of First Things - her being with God is being outpaced by her doing for God. She’s faking fine - until she can’t anymore.

“She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”” (Luke 10:40, NIV)

You know she’s just entered the room in a huff. How can her sister - and Jesus - be so oblivious to the urgent need.

And notice the results of chronic hurry:

She is bitter and resentful of Mary who has chosen to sit with Jesus.

She’s blaming Jesus and lining him out. She’s bossing God!

Ever try to boss God around? Tell him how things ought to be? If so, it’s probably a sign that you are violating the Law of First Things and letting your doing for God outpace your being with God.

Notice Jesus’ response. I’m switching to the NLT bc I think it captures Jesus’ tone better.

“But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”” (Luke 10:41–42, NLT)

Can you here the gentle but frustrated tone Jesus has. He’s not angry. But I wonder if he’s a litter hurt. Jesus probably could have stayed anywhere. He was a popular figure by this point. He chose her. He wasn’t there to use Martha; he was there to spent time with her.

My suspicion is that if Martha would have also sat at Jesus feet, when he was done teaching he would have gotten up and helped in the kitchen - and he had at least 12 helpers!

Hurry causes us to serve a Savior we don’t actually take time to know.

His invitation to Martha was to emulate Mary. Sit at his feet as a disciple. He was inviting her to enjoy the honor that was typically withheld from women in that culture. Hurry had become a tyrant that made her anxious and angry - and that turned her into a tyrant herself.

Martha choose a good thing; Mary chose the better - sitting at Jesus feet and receiving his love before trying to work for him.

YOU

As we contract Martha the Do-er with Mary the Be-er, where do you typically find yourself?

"Martha (""Doing"")","Mary (""Being"")"

Primary Focus: Task-oriented, hospitality as performance vs. Person-oriented, presence as devotion

Emotional State: Anxious, distracted, overwhelmed vs. Peaceful, seated, attentive

Motivation: Driven by obligation, expectation, and "shoulds” vs. Drawn by desire, intimacy, and grace

Relational Stance: Controlling (demanding Jesus make Mary help) vs. Receptive (sitting silently at Jesus' feet)

View of Jesus: A guest to be served and impressed vs A Savior to be known and enjoyed

Inner Outcome: Resentment, exhaustion, faking fine vs. Renewal, grounding, spiritual maturity

If you find yourself most like Martha, your doing is outpacing your being.

Today the invitation is to make Mary’s choice - chose the thing that can’t ever be taken away from you - time spent in loving union with God. In the end, the life we live for God must come from the overflow of time spent with God. Our activity for God can quickly be taken away by burnout, but time spent rooted in his presence stays with you forever.

I want to invite you to a simple practice for the next seven weeks of this series: Practice: Sit with Jesus. Make a commitment that before you open your email or check social media:

Read a short passage of Scripture.

Pray “Lord, what do you want to show me in this passage.”

For two minutes imagine yourself sitting at Jesus feet, listening, and experiencing his pleasure.

WE

Jesus - and Mary - have showed us a different want to be human. We don’t need to “fake fine”. We can be fine. We can live out of a healthy place where you are not longer stressed when things do go as planned. Where the needs of others don’t drain you because you keep your spiritual tank full. Where your life is characterized by peace and calm and an unhurried pace.

If it is true that the state you are in is the state you give to others, how would this change the dynamics of your family? How would it change your relationship with your coworkers?

What if we became a church community so anchored in the unhurried presence of Jesus that our serving, giving, and loving flowed naturally out of our deep intimacy with him?

The world doesn't need more exhausted Marthas trying to impress God. It need a community of Marys—men and women who sit at the feet of Jesus, experience his joy, letting Him heal their hearts, and then stepping into the world with something worth sharing.

It’s time to slow down for loving union. Be Before Do.

—————————————————————————

Communion

Invite people to stand.

Step down to the table

Invite Communion/ministry team forward.

Every Sunday we come to this table to take part in a meal Jesus gave us. Jesus said the elements of bread and wine are his body and blood, true food and true drink. They are a grace given to us for our spiritual nourishment. And they demonstrate the reality that what was once separated has now been joined together by his sacrifice.

If you would like to participate in this meal celebrating his life, death, and resurrection, after I pray step into the nearest aisle. Someone at the front will take a piece of bread dipped in wine and offer it to you as the body and blood of Jesus. If you prefer not to have wine, close your hands together and that will be the sign for them to give you a sealed container with grape juice and a wafer.

Ministry prayer...

Let us pray.

It is truly right, good, and our greatest joy to give You thanks and praise, Almighty God, Creator of heaven and earth. Before time began, You existed in perfect, loving communion—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. You formed us in Your image to thrive in connection with You and with one another. Even when our sin drove us into isolation and hiding, You did not abandon us to the dark. You sent Your Son to break down every dividing wall and call us into one family. Therefore with angels and archangels, and with all the company of heaven, we magnify Your glorious name, praising You and saying:

Holy, Holy, Holy Lord, God of power and might, heaven and earth are full of your glory. Hosanna in the highest. Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord. Hosanna in the highest.

Holy and gracious God, in Your boundless love You sent Jesus Christ to dwell among us. He shared our tables, carried our griefs, and bore the weight of our brokenness. On the night He was handed over to suffering and death, our Lord Jesus Christ took bread; and when He had given thanks to You, He broke it, gave it to His disciples, and said:

"Take, eat: This is My Body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of Me."

After supper He took the cup of wine; and when He had given thanks, He gave it to them, and said:

"Drink this, all of you: This is My Blood of the New Covenant, which is shed for you and for many for the forgiveness of sins. Whenever you drink it, do this in remembrance of Me."

Gracious Father, pour out Your Holy Spirit on these gifts of bread and wine, that they may be for us the body and blood of Your Son. And pour out Your Spirit upon us, that as we partake of this feast, we might be bound together in true interdependence.

Forgive us, Lord, for when we are content to be forever growing, but never going. Forgive us for sharpening the blade only to let it sit unused. Remind us that You do not equip us for spiritual passivity, but for active mission. As we receive Your grace today, give us the courage to spur, provoke, and stir one another up toward love and good works. Catalyze us through community to go into a broken world.

Amen.

Invite the worship team to receive Communion first and then everyone else.