REAL MEN

Perhaps no one has more assiduously—and gleefully—documented the disappearance of men than Hanna Rosin. In her 2010 book, The End of Men, and in subsequent articles, Rosin has traced the disappearance of men, as defined by traditional roles and responsibilities. And she argues it is a good thing.The data she marshals is alarming, if not altogether depressing. In fact, she’s argued men are obsolete, and that we should realize this obsolescence is an established condition. Among the data she cites:In the U.S., 1/5th of able-bodied men are not working.In the West, including the U.S., roughly 60% of college graduates are women. Women also earn 60% of all master’s degrees.Educationally, boys lag behind girls essentially from the cradle onward.In 2009, the U.S. workforce became majority women.Of the 15 job categories marked for growth in the decade ahead, men will dominate only two: janitorial work and computer engineering.Rosin has a point, and it is an alarming one. While we recognize the challenges such statistics indicate for a society, as Christians our primary concern is not the country or the culture—it is the home and the church. If the latter are healthy, the former will be healthier.Many churches are bereft of male leadership, and many congregations exist in a settled fog over what biblical manhood should look like. Pop evangelicalism has not offered much of a corrective. Even within the church, much of the teaching on manhood has sent us toward two different, unhelpful poles.One pole has, in essence, said that to be a better man, men should be more like women: more thoughtful, more caring, more romantic; always mindful of expressions of romance and dutifully carrying them out.Alternately, the other pole at times sounds more like a beer commercial than biblical masculinity. It glorifies machismo, celebrates gruffness, and honors the strong arm.Through this, the church needs to recover biblical manhood, Christian masculinity—what we might think of as sanctified testosterone.Where there is a lack of men—mature, godly men—the church will invariably suffer. The church in want of biblical, masculine service and leadership is an anemic church.

Stu Weber

"Our culture is in deep trouble, and at the heart of its trouble is its loss of a vision for manhood. If it's difficult for you and me as adult males to maintain our masculine balance in this gender-neutral' culture, imagine what it must be like for our sons, who are growing up in an increasingly feminized world." Stu Weber

"The central problem of every society is to define appropriate roles for the men." Margaret Meade, anthropologist

Margaret Meade, anthropologist

As I grew in my understanding of biblical manhood, I discovered that true manhood demanded more of me. As a single man, I had failed to put into practice what I knew marriage would require. I secretly thought that marriage would miraculously change me and make me a better man. I didn’t drink from the fountain of true manhood as a single guy, so I’m now drinking from a fire hose as a new husband. Now I’m learning the hard way about the high and hard calling of manhood.

As apex predators — that is, predators that lack natural predators of their own — sharks play a vital role in the health of ocean ecosystems. Yet, in the last six decades, we have lost an estimated 90 percent of shark populations to our own predatory behaviors like overfishing and “finning” sharks for shark fin soup. Remove the predators, and the whole ecosystem begins to crash. As the sharks disappear, the predator-prey balance dramatically shifts, and the health of our oceans declines. Since the majority of the oxygen we breathe comes from the ocean, not to mention much of the world’s protein, it is not an exaggeration to say that when our oceans’ health declines, our very survival is at risk.

“I never could believe in the Jesus Christ of some people, for the Christ in whom they believe is simply full of affectionateness and gentleness, whereas I believe there never was a more splendid specimen of manhood, even its sternness, than the Savior; and the very lips which declared that He would not break a bruised reed uttered the most terrible anathemas upon the Pharisees.”– C.H. Spurgeon

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OUR DOGMA

Jesus’s Selflessness and Sacrifice

Real Men are selfless and sacrificial

Jesus’s life embodied true masculinity. How could it not? No doubt, we could produce a long list of characteristics that Jesus embodied that made him a real man, but two noteworthy traits are his selflessness and sacrifice.

Jesus’s teaching in the Gospels are soaked in these themes. When asked,

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”

Matthew 22:36–40 ESV

“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”

Furthermore, Jesus taught us to not only love our neighbor, but to love and pray for our enemies

Matthew 5:44 ESV

But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,

. It’s easier to sacrifice and act selflessly towards those we feel are worthy of our affection, love, and resources, but true manhood is displayed when we freely and selflessly sacrifice for the unworthy.

It’s easier to sacrifice and act selflessly towards those we feel are worthy of our affection, love, and resources, but true manhood is displayed when we freely and selflessly sacrifice for the unworthy.

Alongside his teaching, Jesus added an unsurpassed testament to his selflessness and sacrifice: the increasing lowliness of his life, even to death. Throughout his ministry, he selflessly gave up his time, energy, and resources for the sake of others. Paul writes that Christ “made himself nothing” and took on “the very nature of a servant.” Paul admonishes us to embrace this mentality: “Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus”

Philippians 2:5–8 ESV

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

Christ’s lifestyle is a model not only for the married, but also for how unmarried men (and women) should live.

Jesus best displayed his selflessness and sacrifice when he freely went to the cross for the good of his bride, from obedience to his Father, and for the joy set before him. Our perfect Savior died for a bride that had unassailably proven herself unworthy of such a sacrifice. Which presents a beautiful picture of how sinful husbands should love and cherish their wives.

"Every time we look at the cross Christ seems to say to us, “I am here because of you. It is your sin I am bearing, your curse I am suffering, your debt I am paying, your death I am dying.” Nothing in history or in the universe cuts us down to size like the cross. All of us have inflated views of ourselves, especially in self-righteousness, until we have visited a place called Calvary. It is here, at the foot of the cross that we shrink to our true size." John Stott

John Stott

Real Men Freely Give

For many, there is a huge disconnect between what we say and do. But as we can see, Jesus’s life embodied his teaching completely and perfectly. Unlike us, Jesus understood the implications of his teaching better than anyone and never cut corners for the sake of personal comfort and convenience.

We learn from Jesus that true manhood isn’t simply about keeping our noses clean and our own ducks in a row. True manhood means getting beyond ourselves to love our neighbors — and our neighbor is anyone we meet that is in need. "God doesn’t need your good works; your neighbor does."

Real men freely give their time, resources, attention, energy, and emotional support to those that need it without regard to what they can give in return.

Masculine leadership isn’t an opportunity to be served, but a calling to serve sacrificially.

For the unmarried Christian man, this means freely giving your time and resources by being hospitable, volunteering at church, providing for the needy, visiting the sick, and helping the elderly. It has implications for how you steward your money. Could you give more to the cause of Christ since your present expenses are fewer? How can you honor your parents in this season? You might check in more regularly to see if they have any needs that you could meet.

For the married man, your closest neighbors are your wife and children. Manhood means leaning into your marriage and family. It means providing for them physically, financially, emotionally, and spiritually. It means humbly loving your wife even in the moments when you feel she’s especially unworthy of that love and loving your children when they seem least deserving. And real men honor their father and mother, and are eager to “

1 Timothy 5:4 ESV

But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.

1 Timothy 5:4 ESV

But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.

Real Men Embrace the High Calling of Manhood

"Imagine turning a tin soldier into a real little man. It would involve turning the tin into flesh. And suppose the tin soldier did not like it. He is not interested in flesh; all he sees is that the tin is being spoiled. He thinks you are killing him. He will do everything he can do to prevent you. He will not be made into a man if he can help it. The real Son of God is at your side. He is beginning to turn you into the same kind of thing as Himself; He is beginning, so to speak, to 'inject' His kind of life and thought, his Zoe, (spiritual life) into you; beginning to turn the tin soldier into a live man. The part of you that does not like it is the part that is still tin." C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Real manhood is a hard and uncomfortable calling, whether you’re single or married.

"A real man is one who rejects passivity, accepts responsibility, leads courageously, and expects the greater reward, God's reward."

Real manhood is a hard and uncomfortable calling, whether you’re single or married. The role of leadership God has given men isn’t an opportunity to be served, but a calling to serve sacrificially. In a world that offers immediate gratification — financially, emotionally, and sexually — Christian manhood may seem unattractive and even pointless at times. Why live selflessly and sacrificially when I can do the opposite and enjoy instant pleasure? When society tells us that leadership amounts to privilege, why hold fast to the biblical vision of leadership as sacrifice?

The role of leadership God has given men isn’t an opportunity to be served, but a calling to serve sacrificially.

In a world that offers immediate gratification — financially, emotionally, and sexually — Christian manhood may seem unattractive and even pointless at times. Why live selflessly and sacrificially when I can do the opposite and enjoy instant pleasure? When society tells us that leadership amounts to privilege, why hold fast to the biblical vision of leadership as sacrifice?

If you’re not serving others like Jesus, you’re not fully walking in biblical manhood.

Real men deny themselves carnal pleasures for true joy in Jesus. Whether you’re married or single, if you’re not serving your neighbors selflessly and sacrificially, you’re not fully walking in biblical manhood. Boys say, “I’m responsible for myself.” Men say, “I’m responsible for my neighbors.” Boys are forced to give, but men give freely because they’ve been freely given. Boys expect their wife or mom to do the dishes, but men are quick to grab the sponge and soap. Ultimately, manhood means serving others as much and more than you serve yourself.

While the temporal rewards are not always immediate, the eternal rewards will be well worth the wait. God the Father demonstrates that he will indeed reward the obedient and faithful, just as he did with his selfless and sacrificial Son:

Philippians 2:9–11 ESV

Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

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Every man leaves a lasting influence... that will affect future generations for centuries to come. But let's face it, not all legacies are the same. Some are productive, others are destructive. Some are illustrious, others are infamous... what kind of a legacy will you leave behind? A spiritual legacy is one that money can't buy and taxes can't take away, it is passing down to the next generation what matters most.

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