Keep us from Isolation

Intro

Opener - Show me your Friends

The bible makes it very clear that we are not called to do life alone. Whether it’s the community of the early church, the examples of biblical friendship we see (David and Jonathan), or the proverbial wisdom about friendships - we are called to walk alongside others in our journey on this earth. Worldly studies have attempted to catch up to the bible and quantity this, and they have found that adults with close friendships actually have better mental health AND physical health than those who don’t have close social connections. In fact, studies show that people with close friendships are less likely to have depression and anxiety, and less likely to die from things like cardiovascular disease. On the flip side, those who don’t have a social connection actually experience physical health effects that are almost as bad as smoking a pack of cigarettes per day.

Another study shows that on average the 5 people you spend the most of your time around will shape who you are. It says that you become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time around. In other words - show me your friends and I’ll show you your future. While we ultimately can’t always choose who we spend most of our time around, friendships are one thing we can somewhat control. That is why it is critical that we have a proper understanding and expectation of friendships and who we are choosing to be around and what these friendships should look like - what our friends should look like and what we should look like as friends. The bible touches on a few of these concepts, and through this series we’ll look at the importance and benefit of friendships, their purpose, and what comes with them.

Key Verse for this Series: Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another”.

MPS - 2 Better than One

Tonight, we’ll be in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 where the author (Solomon) is going to outline relationships and some of the benefit they bring. Specifically, his main point is going to be: We are called to pursue Godly relationships in our lives because they protect us from isolation and strengthen us.

Body - Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

He begins in verse 9 by saying Ecclesiastes 4:9 “Two are better than one". That’s how we begin this thing, and then he’s going to go through and give us 4 reasons why two are better than one. This has been used for marriages before, but he is applying this concept to all relationships we have.

Strengthens Us - Ecclesiastes 4:9b

Ecclesiastes 4:9 “Because they have a good return for their labor:”

Explanation

Here’s the first reason he gives us on why two are better than one - when he says they have a good return for their labor. He’s saying two can accomplish more together than one person can by themselves. Not just accomplish in the sense of achievements - like more money, success, victories - but can accomplish more and achieve a more satisfying and richer life. He’s saying that there is so much more beauty and joy that come from walking in life with companions. He’s saying that friendships and companionships strengthen us to be able to experience this richer life. He’s going to continue to explain why this is the case in the next 3 verses.

Illustration

Have you ever watched a group of ants trying to move something that's way bigger than they are? You might see one ant find a piece of food or some object that's too heavy for it to move by itself. It will try to pull it, push it, drag it—and eventually, other ants start coming alongside it.

One ant grabs one side. Another grabs another side. Some push from behind. And together, they can move something that no single ant could have moved on its own.

And I think that's a really simple picture of what Solomon is talking about here when he says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor.”

There's a lot in life that we can do by ourselves. But there are also things that become possible when we have people alongside us that simply wouldn't be possible—or wouldn't be nearly as good—if we tried to do them alone.

Solomon is going to continue in this explanation of the benefit and strengthening that our relationships have - in the support friends bring for each other.

Supports Us - Ecclesiastes 4:10

Ecclesiastes 4:10 “If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”

Explanation

The author is explaining that one of the reasons that friendships and companions are so important is because when we encounter seasons of our lives or situations where we need help, friends are able to offer us that help. That’s why he says that if one falls, there’s someone there to help them up. He says the one who falls and has no one to help them up is pitiful. In other words, he’s saying that another reason 2 are better than 1 is because they offer support for each other.

This implies that there are times in our lives too where we’re going to be vulnerable, we’re going to need help, and in those times we must be able to allow help. We must be able to allow people into our lives, into the vulnerability, and let them be a part of lifting us up.

Illustration

Gym spotter - when we get stuck, get lost, get to a point where we can’t go any further or we’re defeated, biblical friendships offer us this support just like a spotter at the gym.

So these relationships strengthen us, support us, next Solomon is going to say they comfort us.

Comforts Us - Ecclesiastes 4:11

Ecclesiastes 4:11 “Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?”

Explanation

Back in this day, they would travel on the road by foot/horses, and if they were traveling during a time period when it was cold, there would be a need to be able to keep warm during the night. So, they would lie together to keep each other warm. What this would do is provide physical comfort for each other. So, similarly Solomon is saying that is another benefit that friendship provides. It provides comfort for each other. While he’s using the illustration of physical comfort, this comfort in friendship comes physically, emotionally, spiritually - it comes in a variety of different ways.

Additionally, this metaphor he uses implies that there is action required to provide and receive this comfort. We have to take the steps necessary and put in the work to our relationships to provide and receive this comfort.

Illustration

I don’t even have to explain this one to y’all - you know the importance of when you have a bad day, have a rough week, have something not go your way, having someone there who can life you up, support you, offer that additional care for you in those moments is so special, and is so critical.

Solomon has established 3 of the benefits we see from biblical friendships - here’s the last one in verse 12:

Protects Us - Ecclesiastes 4:12

Ecclesiastes 4:12 “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

Explanation

His last point here is that they provide protection for one another. He uses this image of having to defend yourself - and explains how one can be overpowered but two can stand their own. Think about that, like if someone is coming at you and you’ve got someone by your side to help fight them off, your chances are far greater than if you’re fighting it by yourself. That’s what Solomon is explaining here - is that friendship helps protect us.

The bible says that we have an enemy - Satan - who came to steal, kill, and destroy. He waits around looking like a roaring lion, waiting to attack us and waiting to pull us away from God. That’s our enemy - that’s who we’re fighting against and trying not to fall prey to. One of his absolute greatest weapons is isolation - it’s pulling us away from a community so he can attack us while we’re alone and more likely to fall. He wants us to be isolated - but Solomon’s point here is that we must pursue friendships to be greater protected from Satan and his attacks - because of everything else we’ve talked about - the support, the strengthening, and the comfort provided in biblical friendships.

Illustration

Lions specifically attack the isolated prey they find. They see the ones who are lost, isolated, alone because those are easier targets. A lion isn’t going to attack a huge herd, it’s going to attack the lone one wandering away from the herd. That’s how Satan works too.

Application

An important distinction in all of this too is that while friendships protect us, they don’t make us immune. We have to be intentional in these relationships and in our walks with Christ - they don’t just happen by accident.

Conclusion

Summation

Solomon has instructed us to pursue these relationships, these friendships because two are better than one. We are better off when we work in community instead of isolation - specifically because biblical friendships strengthen us, support us, comfort us, and protect us. So here are my 2 questions for you:

Are you a friend who offers this for your friends?

Are these values you look for in your friends?

Response

We specifically care because he closes in verse 12 by saying that A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. That’s an important distinction here too - these friendships that do these things - strengthen, support, comfort, protect - are all a result of something very important in the center of them - God. That’s why Solomon is saying this here - most scholars believe that he is referring to 2 friends, and God in the middle as the 3-strand cord. Because when the power of Jesus is in the middle of our relationships, ultimately we’re going to see these benefits coming out of those relationships.

Let’s pray.