Psalms 69 - Even in despair you are good, you are God.

I still remember the feeling of being abandoned, and left for dead. Callie and I had just moved to San Antonio, following the will of God. We had saved all we could and had enough money to live for a month without a job and to pay off the first semester of school.

And then trouble hit, our car broke down, over and over again, we could not find jobs, and before school even started we had no money left.

I remember crying out in anger to God - “Why have you abandoned us”?

I felt the real presence of my sins both past and present. I became convinced God was punishing me, he had brought me here to die, homeless, naked and ashamed.

I begged him to spare my wife and children.

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Another time in my life, I recall my pastor of all people thinking the worst of me. He called me out saying I was trying to usurp his power. I was a liar, and a manipulator.

I was in utter confusion. I had just led a night of worship with 50 teenagers in Blackwell Ok. I had a young man from our church give his testimony, a young woman in the church lead the music, and I shared the message of salvation and we saw 20 kids give their lives to Jesus.

Yet, somehow it came across to the pastor that I was trying to build my own ministry. My heart was broken, all I wanted was for these young people to fall in love with Jesus and now I am being attacked and I had done nothing wrong.

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The feeling God has left you, being attacked and persecuted while you are innocent, being abandoned by family and friends, and all while having that deep sense of your own sinfulness.

God must hate me, God must be punishing me.

These are true feelings, emotions and circumstances that we all will face. We can pretend that if we just have enough faith doubt will never come to our minds but, the reality is doubt will creep in and try to take over.

Christianity is sweet when life is good, but when all hell breaks loose and the rubber really meets the road, that is when our faith is really put to the test.

Life is bitter and hard and the Psalms pull no punches.

How do we handle despair as Christians? What hope do we have? Are we as Christians even allowed to feel despair? Am I in sin if my guts feel like they are being ripped out? How is Jesus savior when my world feels like it is coming undone?

These are the emotions and questions the Psalmist raise and today we will be tackling a few of these emotions.

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Turn with me to

Psalm 69 The Message

God, God, save me! I’m in over my head, Quicksand under me, swamp water over me; I’m going down for the third time. I’m hoarse from calling for help, Bleary-eyed from searching the sky for God. I’ve got more enemies than hairs on my head; Sneaks and liars are out to knife me in the back. What I never stole Must I now give back? God, you know every sin I’ve committed; My life’s a wide-open book before you. Don’t let those who look to you in hope Be discouraged by what happens to me, Dear Lord! God of the armies! Don’t let those out looking for you Come to a dead end by following me— Please, dear God of Israel! Because of you I look like an idiot, I walk around ashamed to show my face. My brothers shun me like a bum off the street; My family treats me like an unwanted guest. I love you more than I can say. Because I’m madly in love with you, They blame me for everything they dislike about you. When I poured myself out in prayer and fasting, All it got me was more contempt. When I put on a sad face, They treated me like a clown. Now drunks and gluttons Make up drinking songs about me. And me? I pray. God, it’s time for a break! God, answer in love! Answer with your sure salvation! Rescue me from the swamp, Don’t let me go under for good, Pull me out of the clutch of the enemy; This whirlpool is sucking me down. Don’t let the swamp be my grave, the Black Hole Swallow me, its jaws clenched around me. Now answer me, God, because you love me; Let me see your great mercy full-face. Don’t look the other way; your servant can’t take it. I’m in trouble. Answer right now! Come close, God; get me out of here. Rescue me from this deathtrap. You know how they kick me around— Pin on me the donkey’s ears, the dunce’s cap. I’m broken by their taunts, Flat on my face, reduced to a nothing. I looked in vain for one friendly face. Not one. I couldn’t find one shoulder to cry on. They put poison in my soup, Vinegar in my drink. Let their supper be bait in a trap that snaps shut; May their best friends be trappers who’ll skin them alive. Make them become blind as bats, Give them the shakes from morning to night. Let them know what you think of them, Blast them with your red-hot anger. Burn down their houses, Leave them desolate with nobody at home. They gossiped about the one you disciplined, Made up stories about anyone wounded by God. Pile on the guilt, Don’t let them off the hook. Strike their names from the list of the living; No rock-carved honor for them among the righteous. I’m hurt and in pain; Give me space for healing, and mountain air. Let me shout God’s name with a praising song, Let me tell his greatness in a prayer of thanks. For God, this is better than oxen on the altar, Far better than blue-ribbon bulls. The poor in spirit see and are glad— Oh, you God-seekers, take heart! For God listens to the poor, He doesn’t walk out on the wretched. You heavens, praise him; praise him, earth; Also ocean and all things that swim in it. For God is out to help Zion, Rebuilding the wrecked towns of Judah. Guess who will live there— The proud owners of the land? No, the children of his servants will get it, The lovers of his name will live in it.

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Many of you were feeling a little awkward as I was reading this Psalm of David.

When it is put into our own language it can make us feel a little embarrassed for David.

Come on man - You are David, the giant slayer - Have some faith man.

Yet, if we are honest we have all felt this way.

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Some of you today feel like this.

You feel like God has let you to defend for yourself.

Maybe you are being attacked and it seems like God is no where to be found.

Maybe your faith in God has caused family or friends to turn from you, mock you.

You feel like your feet are stuck in mud and the waters are rising above your shoulders, life is about to take you under, and where is God.

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What about Life, Joy, and Beauty?

There is no hope for the world when we cover up reality with Bumper sticker theology.

How can the world know there is hope if we are hiding all the scars of our heart – These scars show the healing grace of God.

How can the world know there is hope if the Christianity they run into is like a thin varnish, rather than a pool of hope?

When we act like plastic people that have no problems, the world sees a plastic Jesus that they have no use for.

You can never honestly offer Life, Joy, and Beauty without dealing with the reality of this life.

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How does God answer us when we feel the words of this Psalm deeply?

How does God respond to our anguish, our pain and suffering? How does God respond when we feel the shame of our sinfulness, and feel the threats of others around us?

THE ANSWER IS FOUND ON THE CROSS AND IN THE RESURRECTION.

Colossians 2:11–15 NLT

When you came to Christ, you were “circumcised,” but not by a physical procedure. Christ performed a spiritual circumcision—the cutting away of your sinful nature. For you were buried with Christ when you were baptized. And with him you were raised to new life because you trusted the mighty power of God, who raised Christ from the dead. You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins. He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross. In this way, he disarmed the spiritual rulers and authorities. He shamed them publicly by his victory over them on the cross.

2 Corinthians 5:21 NLT

For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.

He stripped the enemy of his power to shame us, by pointing out our sins.

He made you His righteousness through Christ.

He stepped in our mud and mess, and pulled us out to safety.

He took on the flood of our guilt and allowed himself to be baptized into our suffering and shame.

He took on the mocking crowds by hanging there naked and exposed.

He dove into the depths of our depravity and rose victorious with us by his side.

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In this world we will suffer, we will experience pain and injustice.

While God is bring Life, Joy and Beauty to this world through his Church we will not see it fully realized until Jesus returns to complete the restoration of all things.

But his salvation is sure – Your sins and shame have been removed

Your judgment was declared on Easter and God declared you innocent and vindicated in Jesus.

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There will be times of great victory in our lives – Like Daniel in the Lions Den, or David facing Goliath.

But there will also be times where we feel these words of the Palmist deeply.

In this world you will have troubles – But

When you feel as though you can no longer stay afloat.

When your throat is shredded from all your screaming.

When darkness feels as though it is closing in.

Look and see that God is not far off – he has not abandoned you. In the midst of your pain, your Heavenly father is there.

Romans 8:37–39 NLT

No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:37-39

When lies are being spread about and your name is being dragged through the mud – Be still and listen to your Father speak to your spirit; “I formed you in your mother’s womb, I know you, and I accept and love you.”

When lies are being spread about and your name is being dragged through the mud – Be still and listen to your Father speak to your spirit; “I formed you in your mother’s womb, I know you, and I accept and love you.”

I will never leave you or forsake you. You are not alone, I am here with you.

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This Psalm speaks to our human condition with brutal honesty. The psalmist pulls no punches in confronting our reality.

We live in a broken world – We will want to scream, yell, and beat the air around us.

We will have days or dark nights when our hearts turn cold and violence and revenge fill our deep thoughts.

Yet unlike David who had to look forward to his salvation – We can look back to the cross and Easter and see our victory is secure.

We can wrestle with despair knowing that hope has won and complete victory will be ours.

We can fight our darkest passions of violence knowing the grave has been defeated and God is able to bring us justice apart from our violence.

We can rest even in the midst of unimaginable stress knowing that it is finished – And any darkness is only for a short time.