Jealously Take over

Our Philosophy/ Vision: Disciple our kids to a lasting commitment to Jesus.

Scripture:

1 Samuel 20:30–34 ICB:VCCRU

Then Saul became very angry with Jonathan. He said, “You son of an evil and disobedient woman! I know you are on the side of David son of Jesse! You bring shame on yourself and on your mother who gave birth to you. As long as Jesse’s son lives, you’ll never be king or have a kingdom. Now send for David and bring him to me. He must die!” Jonathan asked his father, “Why should David be killed? What wrong has he done?” Then Saul threw his spear at Jonathan, trying to kill him. So Jonathan knew that his father really wanted to kill David. Jonathan was very angry and left the table. That second day of the month he refused to eat. He was upset about what his father wanted to do to David.

Purpose:

Outline:

When Anger Clouded a Father's Heart

Bible Passage: 1 Samuel 20:30-34

Summary: This passage narrates the intense confrontation between Saul and Jonathan, revealing Saul's anger towards his son for defending David, which ultimately shows the destructive nature of jealousy and rage in familial relationships.

Application: Children can learn about the importance of handling anger and jealousy in healthy ways. The story illustrates that uncontrolled anger can harm relationships and that it’s important to choose love and understanding over rage.

Teaching: This sermon could teach that anger, when left unchecked, can lead to hurtful words and actions, and it calls for the need to communicate openly and work through our feelings instead of allowing anger to take control.

How this passage could point to Christ: In this passage, Saul’s destructive anger foreshadows the ultimate need for reconciliation found in Christ. Just as Jonathan stood in the gap for David, Jesus stands in the gap for us, offering love and forgiveness where there is conflict.

Big Idea: We must learn to transform our anger into understanding, following Jonathan's example, and embracing the love of Jesus that calls us to mend broken relationships instead of letting anger drive us apart.

Recommended Study: As you prepare this sermon, consider exploring the cultural context of familial honor and loyalty in ancient Israel, which may provide insights into Saul's reaction. Check Logos for resources on anger in the Bible, including its psychological effects and implications on relationships, to help communicate effectively with the children.

Saul Struggles with Jealousy

1 Samuel 20:30-31

You could discuss how Saul's anger starts with jealousy and suspicion, warning us about how negative emotions can control our actions if unchecked. Perhaps highlight the importance of catching feelings early before they escalate, drawing parallels with how Jesus teaches us to love and forgive instead of holding grudges.

2. Jonathan’s Courageous Love

1 Samuel 20:32-33

Perhaps emphasize Jonathan's courageous stance for David, showing children the power of standing by someone in love even when it’s difficult. Maybe relate this to how Jesus stood for us and calls us to be peacemakers, reflecting God’s love in our lives.

3. Jonathan’s Sorrow and Hope

1 Samuel 20:34 NLT

Jonathan left the table in fierce anger and refused to eat on that second day of the festival, for he was crushed by his father’s shameful behavior toward David.

You could conclude with Jonathan's sorrow, teaching that unresolved anger leads to sadness and broken relationships. Explore the idea that Jesus offers reconciliation and mending of relationships, reminding children that hope and healing are always possible with Christ.

Object Lesson:

Object Lesson: "The Balloon of Jealousy"

Bible Passage: 1 Samuel 20:30-34

Main Truth: Jealousy and anger can make us do hurtful things, but God wants us to choose friendship, love, and self-control.

Supplies

1 balloon

Permanent marker

Small piece of tape

Preparation

Write the word "Jealousy" on the balloon.

Object Lesson

Step 1: Introduce the Balloon

Hold up the empty balloon and ask:

"Have you ever felt jealous because someone else got something you wanted?"

Allow a few responses.

Explain:

"Everyone feels jealous sometimes. The important thing is what we do with those feelings."

Step 2: Inflate the Balloon

As you slowly blow air into the balloon, say:

"Saul became jealous of David because people praised David. Instead of giving his jealous feelings to God, Saul let them grow bigger and bigger."

Keep inflating the balloon.

"The more Saul focused on David, the bigger his jealousy became."

Step 3: Show What Jealousy Does

Draw an angry face on the balloon.

Say:

"Soon Saul's jealousy turned into anger. In our Bible story, Saul became so angry that he yelled at Jonathan and even threw a spear at his own son."

Read or summarize 1 Samuel 20:33.

Ask:

"Did Saul's jealousy help anyone?"

Answer: No.

Step 4: Pop or Release the Balloon

Option 1: Pop the balloon.

Say:

"When we let jealousy and anger grow, they can hurt relationships and cause a lot of damage."

Option 2 (less noisy): Let the air rush out.

Say:

"Saul's anger got out of control, and it affected everyone around him."

Step 5: Show the Better Choice

Hold up the small piece of tape.

Explain:

"Jonathan chose a different path. He remained loyal to David and trusted God's plan. Friendship, love, and trust in God help heal relationships."

Place the tape on a popped balloon piece or the deflated balloon.

"God wants us to bring our jealous feelings to Him before they grow into something harmful."

Discussion Questions

Why was Saul jealous of David?

How did Saul's jealousy affect his actions?

How did Jonathan show he was a true friend?

What should we do when we feel jealous?

How can trusting God help us overcome jealousy?

Key Verse

Proverbs 14:30

"A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones."

Gospel Connection

Saul allowed jealousy to control him, but Jesus shows us a better way. Jesus loved others, even when they rejected Him. Through the Holy Spirit, God can help us replace jealousy with love, kindness, and joy for others when good things happen to them.

Big Idea

"Don't let jealousy grow in your heart. Trust God's plan and choose friendship like Jonathan."

Biblical Background:

Biblical Background for 1 Samuel 20:30-34

Passage Overview: 1 Samuel 20:30-34 records a dramatic confrontation between King Saul and his son Jonathan after Jonathan helps David avoid Saul's murderous plans. This passage highlights the growing hostility of Saul toward David, Jonathan's loyalty to his friend, and the spiritual decline of Saul's kingship.

Historical Context

At this point in Israel's history, Saul was the first king of Israel, chosen by God but later rejected because of his repeated disobedience (1 Samuel 13:13-14; 15:22-23). God had already chosen David, a young shepherd from Bethlehem, to become the next king (1 Samuel 16:1-13).

After David's victory over Goliath and his many military successes, the people praised him greatly. Saul became jealous and fearful, viewing David as a threat to his throne (1 Samuel 18:6-9). Saul repeatedly attempted to kill David, even though David faithfully served him.

Immediate Context

In 1 Samuel 20, David suspects Saul intends to kill him. Jonathan, however, struggles to believe his father would do such a thing. Together they devise a plan involving the New Moon feast to determine Saul's true intentions.

David would be absent from the royal meal for two days. Jonathan would observe Saul's reaction and then communicate the results to David through a prearranged signal with arrows (1 Samuel 20:18-23).

Understanding 1 Samuel 20:30-34

When Saul notices David's absence for the second day of the feast, his anger explodes. He publicly insults Jonathan, accusing him of siding with David against his own family interests.

Saul reveals his true motive in verse 31:

"For as long as the son of Jesse lives upon the earth, neither you nor your kingdom shall be established."

Saul recognizes that David is God's chosen successor. Rather than submitting to God's will, Saul attempts to preserve his own dynasty. He believes David's death is necessary for Jonathan to inherit the throne.

Jonathan, however, demonstrates remarkable godly character. Instead of seeking personal power, he submits to God's plan and remains loyal to David. When Jonathan asks why David deserves death, Saul becomes so enraged that he throws a spear at his own son (v. 33). This confirms beyond doubt that Saul is willing to murder anyone who stands in the way of his plans.

Jonathan leaves the feast grieving, not only because David is in danger, but also because of his father's shameful behavior and rebellion against God.

Key Themes

1. Friendship and Covenant Loyalty Jonathan's friendship with David was based on a covenant before God (1 Samuel 18:1-4; 20:14-17). Jonathan places faithfulness above personal ambition.

2. Jealousy and Sin Saul's jealousy grows into hatred, rage, and attempted murder. His life illustrates how unchecked sin can harden the heart.

3. Submission to God's Plan Jonathan accepts God's choice of David even though it means giving up his own chance to become king.

4. The Cost of Righteousness Jonathan suffers rejection and abuse because he stands for what is right. Obedience to God sometimes brings personal sacrifice.

Application for Children

True friends stand by one another even when it is difficult.

Jealousy can lead people to make foolish and sinful choices.

God's plans are always better than our own plans.

We should do what is right, even when others are angry with us.

Big Idea: Jonathan chose faithfulness to God and friendship with David over personal gain, while Saul allowed jealousy and pride to control his heart.

Cross References:

Cross References for 1 Samuel 20:30-34

Saul's Jealousy and Hatred Toward David

1 Samuel 18:8-9

"And Saul was very angry... Saul eyed David from that day and forward."

This passage shows the beginning of Saul's jealousy, which eventually grows into the rage seen in 1 Samuel 20:30-34.

Proverbs 14:30

"A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones."

Saul's envy of David consumed him and led him to sinful actions.

James 3:16

"For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work."

Saul's jealousy led to anger, violence, and division within his own family.

Jonathan's Loyalty and Friendship

1 Samuel 18:1-4 Jonathan and David make a covenant of friendship, explaining why Jonathan defends David before Saul.

Proverbs 17:17

"A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."

Jonathan demonstrates true friendship by standing with David despite the personal cost.

Proverbs 18:24

"There is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother."

Jonathan's commitment to David exemplifies this kind of faithful friendship.

Choosing God's Will Over Personal Gain

1 Samuel 23:17

"Thou shalt be king over Israel, and I shall be next unto thee."

Jonathan willingly accepts God's plan for David to become king, even though he could have been heir to Saul's throne.

Matthew 16:24-25

"If any man will come after me, let him deny himself..."

Jonathan denied his own ambitions and submitted to God's purposes.

Philippians 2:3-4

"Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory..."

Jonathan put God's will and David's welfare ahead of himself.

Saul's Rebellion Against God

1 Samuel 15:22-23

"Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from being king."

Saul's conduct in 1 Samuel 20 is a visible result of the rebellion that led to God's rejection of his kingship.

Romans 1:28-29 Describes how continued rebellion against God results in a depraved mindset and sinful behavior.

Galatians 5:19-21 Lists anger, hatred, and fits of rage among the works of the flesh, all of which are displayed by Saul.

Saul's Attempt to Kill His Own Son

1 Samuel 19:9-10 Saul previously threw a spear at David, attempting to kill him.

1 Samuel 20:33 Saul throws a spear at Jonathan, revealing how far his anger has progressed.

Proverbs 29:22

"An angry man stirreth up strife, and a furious man aboundeth in transgression."

Saul's uncontrolled anger causes him to lash out even at his son.

Jonathan's Grief and Righteous Sorrow

1 Samuel 20:34 Jonathan rises from the table "in fierce anger" and grieves for David and because Saul had shamed him.

Psalm 119:136 NLT

Rivers of tears gush from my eyes because people disobey your instructions.

"Rivers of waters run down mine eyes, because they keep not thy law."

Like the psalmist, Jonathan is distressed by the sinfulness he witnesses.

Matthew 5:4

"Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted."

Jonathan's sorrow reflects a heart that values righteousness.

Christ Connection

John 15:13

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."

Jonathan's willingness to risk his position and even his life for David points forward to the greater love of Jesus Christ.

Romans 5:8

"But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."

Jonathan's sacrificial friendship serves as a picture of Christ's sacrificial love.

Main Cross-Reference Theme

1 Samuel 20:30-34 contrasts two hearts: Saul's heart of jealousy, pride, and rebellion versus Jonathan's heart of loyalty, humility, and submission to God's will.

Special Notes:

Song List:

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Kids Song List for 1 Samuel 20:30-34

Theme: True Friendship, Trusting God, Loyalty, and Choosing Kindness Over Jealousy

Opening Worship Songs

I've Got the Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy

Helps contrast Jonathan's faithful heart with Saul's angry and jealous heart.

This Little Light of Mine

Encourages children to shine for God even when others are upset.

The Wise Man Built His House Upon the Rock

Teaches the importance of building our lives on God's truth.

Friendship-Themed Songs

Make New Friends

Connects with Jonathan's loyal friendship with David.

A Friend Loves at All Times (Proverbs 17:17 Song)

Directly supports the lesson of faithful friendship.

Friends Forever

Highlights commitment and loyalty in friendships.

Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam

Encourages kindness and love toward others.

Trusting God's Plan

Trust and Obey

Jonathan trusted God's plan even when it meant David would become king.

He's Got the Whole World in His Hands

Reminds children that God is in control.

My God Is So Big

Reinforces confidence in God's plans.

Father Abraham

A fun song about faith and following God.

Character and Heart Songs

The Fruit of the Spirit

Contrasts Saul's anger with the qualities God wants in us: love, joy, peace, patience, and self-control.

Oh Be Careful Little Heart

Teaches children to guard what they allow into their hearts.

Love One Another

Encourages loving friends instead of becoming jealous.

Deep and Wide

Reminds children of God's great love.

Response and Application Songs

Jesus Loves Me

Reinforces God's love for every child.

He's Still Working on Me

Helps children understand that God is changing their hearts daily.

I Have Decided to Follow Jesus

Encourages children to choose God's way over selfish desires.

Be Strong and Courageous

Connects to Jonathan's courage in standing up for David.

Grace Kids Suggested Song Order

I've Got the Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy

A Friend Loves at All Times

The Fruit of the Spirit

Trust and Obey

He's Got the Whole World in His Hands

Jesus Loves Me

Memory Verse Song

Proverbs 17:17

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."

This verse perfectly captures Jonathan's faithful friendship with David in 1 Samuel 20:30-34.

This is a story about two friends and a angry king

Once there was a king who was given a kingdom, but the older and the more successful he became he grew grumpy and mean. As feared given his kingdom over to anyone he become bitter and jealous....