Divorce
Divorce
Text: Deuteronomy 24:1-4
Purpose: To explore the Bible’s teaching about divorce.
Texts: Leviticus 21-22 - priests may not marry women who have divorced
Isaiah 50:1; Jeremiah 3:1,8; Malachi 2:16
- all speak of God divorcing (sending away) His people
Jesus on divorce:
Matthew 5:31-32 - except porneia - sexual, shameful sin
Matthew 19:3-12 - answers Pharisees about divorce for any reason
Mark 10:2-12 - answer Pharisees about divorce
Luke 16:18 - “in order to marry” instead of “divorces and marries”
Paul on divorce:
I Corinthians 7 - rules on marriage, divorce within the church
I Timothy 3, Titus 1 - husband of but one wife is against polygamy
Introduction:
Imagine working in a day care center
-child comes up to you and reports on her parents marriage
Day 1: Daddy told mommy that one of them had to go
Day 2. Mommy on phone said she would be leaving soon
Day 3: Mommy packing her bags, crying
Day 4: Mommy left this morning, said she didn’t know when she would be back
Question: What would you assume was happening in this situation?
Possibilities: marital strife, divorce imminent, wonder why there were troubles
In reality: husband and wife received phone call
-wife’s brother had a massive heart attack, out-of-state family needed help
-one of them wanted to go and support their loved ones
We make assumptions- because we enter the middle of a conversation
-the child spoke the truth, but you didn’t understand the context
-leads to misunderstandings
When we look to the Bible for teaching about divorce
-we often misunderstand
-because we enter the middle of a conversation
-go right to Matthew 5 - seems to say divorce is adultery
-and anyone who divorces is an adulterer
This evening, we will take a look at the scope of the Bible
-try to understand the context of these discussions about marriage
Divorce is something that strikes the heart of many people:
Husbands and wives break vows
Children wounded by broken homes
Parents see children endure divorce
Friends struggle when their friends divorce
-questions of parental rights, blended families, dating, remarrying
Bible is not primarily a book about divorce
-but a book that reveals God to His people
-for the purpose of being reconciled to Him
-teaching about divorce is minimal
-in fact, the emphasis in this arena is on marriage, family
-the over-arching theme - marriage should be permanent, treasured
Furthermore, God said it is not good for man to be alone - Genesis 2:18
-and that’s why he created Eve
Overview: The Bible is not meant to be a handbook on Divorce
-it speaks about the significance of marriage
-not meant to give every instance of divorce-answer every question
-leaves it to church to bind and loose (Matthew 16:19)
1. Marriage in the Old Testament
The purpose of family
The roles of husband and wife
-wife - devoted, raised children, few legal rights
-husband - took care
-The OT word for marry, meant to make lordship - wife came to husband
As opposed to today: partners with negotiable roles
-not saying that marriage should be what it was- just noting the difference
Lest you think, “what a terrible, patriarchal society”
-remember, husband was to care for wife - provide, treasure
-when Moses said write a certificate of divorce
-it allowed woman to remarry
-it no longer left her wondering if she would be cared for
2. The reality of divorce
-Deut 24 gives instruction about divorce - because it was happening
-even before Deut 24 - divorce is mentioned
-Leviticus 22 - priests should not marry women who have been divorced
-not like we think of it today - grand legal proceeding
-the word for “divorce” means literally sent away (or abandoned)
-but rather a simple abandonment
-woman left wondering if husband would return
-could not move on with her life
-certificate allowed her to find someone else to pledge devotion
-so that she could be care for, produce a family
The point of Deut 24:
-the point - not to be taken loosely - no returning to first husband
-but within it, there is a statement about divorce
-the reason was to be “indecent”
Is there such a thing as “Biblical Grounds” for divorce?
3. Two schools of thought regarding “indecent thing”. (ervah dabar)
First school - any reason, (burned supper, not a nice dresser, laughs too loud, etc.)
-this school focused on the procedure of divorce
-just give a certificate and state a reason - and you are home free
-might even be legit to divorce because you found someone else
Second School - emphasis on nakedly shameful
-such as adultery
-Jesus seems to side with this school - but we will discuss later
4. The Imagery of Divorce
-one of the reasons divorce is so hotly debated - its emphasis in OT
-divorce is used as an imagery of God leaving His people
-because they have been nakedly shameful in worshipping other gods
-they have not been faithful
5. Jesus and Divorce
-if we move directly to Jesus, it’s like joining the middle of an argument or discussion
-story about Synod and Apostle’s Creed - “hades”, “realm of the dead”
-if you divorce, remarry, it is equal to adultery
-Question: is any remarriage forbidden?
Mark 10:2-12
-It was because your hearts were hard - divorce was a reality
-wrote law to protect
-marriage was intended to be permanent
-language- could (I think should) be “in order to marry another woman”
6. Paul’s Epistles:
I Corinthians 7 - understanding context is key again
Paul is addressing group of people - confused by conversion to Christianity
-confusion about sex and marriage
-one or both spouses have become baptized
-is sex forbidden by their new-found faith?
-if spouse does not convert, am I obligated to divorce?
-if spouse divorces me for my faith, may I marry someone else?
His instruction on marriage and divorce
I Corinthians 7 - addresses three groups
-Christian married to Christian (vss. 1-11)
-Christian married to non-Christian (vss. 12-24)
“not bound” seems to indicate free to marry
-single Christians
THIS INSTRUCTION came in the midst of a messy situation
-sex and marriage (Paul said it was good)
-essence is - stay put
Husband of but one wife - is not necessarily about divorce, but polygamy
Responding to divorce (Pastoral Comments)
1. Divorce is always sad.
2. Single people should be very finicky as they choose a spouse.
3. Married people should work very hard to salvage their marriage
4. They bible does not attempt to give grounds for divorce.
-even adultery - can be forgiveness
5. It takes two people to make a marriage work, but only one to destroy a marriage.
6. People who have been divorced should be very cautious in remarrying.
7. Sometimes, the procedure of divorce is a legal recognition that a marriage is over.
-adultery, abandonment, etc.
-don’t be fooled by the argument of who filed first
-that is sometimes no indicator of guilt
8. Every marriage will have difficulties to navigate.
9. The church should embrace people who have experienced divorce.
