Iron Sharpens Iron

Intro

Opener

We talked last week about the benefits of biblical friendships as we started this 4-week study of it. We talked a little bit about how our friendships start to shape who we are - I mentioned the study of the 5 closest people in our lives shaping our lives. Show me your friends, I’ll show you your future. So, with that - it’s important to reflect on the friends inn our lives, and how they are impacting our lives. Are they influencing us towards Jesus or away from Jesus?

MPS

Solomon is going to outline for us a critical point about this idea tonight. Specifically, he is going to say: Biblical friendships are critical parts of our lives because they ultimately sharpen us to look more like Jesus.

Proverbs 27:17

Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

Solomon is using the analogy of iron being sharpened to understand how our friendships are supposed to do in our lives. The audience he was writing this metaphor to would’ve understood this because this was a very practical illustration for them. Iron was a material that was critical for many everyday tools - for agricultural purposes and for warfare, as an example. The bible tells us about how the people would take various tools to be sharpened, and they would do so even paying for them to be sharpened. Typically, iron was used in the shape of a blade.

So, Solomon’s audience would understand a specific point that we may not immediately appreciate: A tool wasn't as useful when its working edge became dull. It needed to be maintained and sharpened so that it could continue doing the work it was designed to do.

Here is a video of (modern day) process of sharpening iron. We can see an idea of what happens when it’s sharpened to understand how this might apply to us a little bit.

VIDEO OF IRON BEING SHARPENED - https://www.youtube.com/shorts/5kLyr5PfqF0

(NOT A HISTORIC REPRESENTATION - BUT REPRESENTS THE CONCEPT)

Solomon is taking this picture of the sharpening and is going to apply it to our friendships: Just as sharpening makes a tool more effective for its intended purpose, the right kind of friendship makes us more effective at living the life God has called us to live.

The sharpening isn’t the ultimate goal. The purpose is what the sharpened tool can do. Just as sharpening makes a tool more effective for its intended purpose, the right kind of friendship makes us more effective at living the life God has called us to live.

3 specific things that I want to point out about this process and how it relates to the friendships and relationships we have in our lives:

The pieces of iron rub against each other (have to be close enough to achieve the benefit)

The friction that comes with this process (not always pretty or easy)

The ultimate goal of the sharpening that we receive

Sharpening Requires Contact

Explanation

For sharpening to happen, there has to be contact. The two pieces of iron have to rub against each other in order for the sharpening to happen. They don’t have any distance between them in order for this sharpening process to happen. They can’t have any distance between them in this process. They’re up close and personal with each other and that allows for this sharpening process to happen. This is true of our friendships too.

Illustration

I can have a lot of phone numbers and contacts in my phone right? I can follow a lot of people on Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, etc. But, just because I’ve got their contact info or follow them or whatever - that doesn’t mean I know them all super well right? Knowing these people doesn’t mean that I’ve let them in my life in a deep way right? Like I don’t actually know them. Similar for famous people right? I can know a lot of facts about someone famous (Taylor Swift), but I don’t actually know her.

I don’t know these people because I’m not close to them. Biblical friendships require a vulnerability and proximity and closeness that allows for deep connection, that then leads to this sharpening.

Application

If we're going to be sharpened by the people around us, we have to let people get close enough to sharpen us. We have to let people into our lives. And that's difficult because our natural tendency is often to keep people at a distance, especially when it comes to things about us or areas of our lives that we’re not proud of.

We might be willing to let people see the good parts of us. But what about the things we're embarrassed about, mistakes we've made, areas where we're struggling, parts of our character that we know need to change? It's much easier to keep those things hidden. But if we never let anyone get close enough to see what's really going on in our lives, we're never going to experience the kind of friendship Solomon is talking about. Biblical friendship requires vulnerability.

It requires us to say:

“This is what's actually going on in my life.”

“This is something I'm struggling with.”

“I don't know if I'm handling this the right way.”

“Can you tell me what you think?”

We can’t be sharpened by our friends from a distance.

Sharpening Involves Friction

Explanation

Similarly, while they rub against each other, this leads to friction in the iron sharpening process. In the video we saw sparks fly. A lot of times, there are extreme temperatures involved in the iron sharpening, as the two pieces are sharpening each other - there are sparks that are going to fly. There is friction involved in the process. It is not a pretty or smooth process. There is friction.

Just like there is friction in that process, friendship is a necessary part of our friendships too. If a friend is going to challenge and sharpen you, there are going to be moments where you don’t feel comfortable:

A disagreement may come between you

They may challenge you

They may tell you something you don’t want to hear

They may point out something in you that you didn’t want people to see

Illustration

Booger on face, something in teeth - uncomfortable and frustrating, but would rather be told.

When I think about my deepest friendships, the most intense relationships I have, they have all been forged through years of doing life together (so rubbing against each other) but also experiencing the friction and tension that comes with those relationships. Having friction and having conflict is not the end of every relationship. There are obviously times where friendships split, but we are not called to run over little tiny conflict, which is something that’s very popular nowadays.

Application

So it is important to realize that we don’t run at the first sign of conflict in a relationship. We don’t dart as soon as there is a disagreement because sharpening involves this friction. If we want to see sharpening, we’ve got to be able to embrace this. We have to be willing to accept correction, to trust our friends’ hearts, to realize the discomfort that’ll come with this process. It’s not easy, it’s not always pretty, but ultimately as our friends speak into areas of our lives, we can’t run at the first sign of tension.

Sharpening Has A Purpose

Explanation

They wouldn’t sharpen a tool in the just for fun - you sharpen it because you need it to do something. The sharpening serves a purpose. The people in Solomon’s day knew a dull blade was a useless one. They knew that a dull blade would either impact their ability to harvest (so impacting their income or their ability to eat) or their ability to fight (so they couldn’t protect themselves). They needed these blades to be sharpened. A tool is sharpened so that it can be more effective at the work it was designed to do. And that's where this analogy becomes really important for our friendships.

Illustration

Do y’all still use the pencils you have to sharpen? Not the mechanical ones? It’s so frustrating trying to use one of those dull pencils that’s not sharpened. It’s essentially useless. But then we go and sharpen them so that we can write with them - so that they can accomplish their purpose in a more effective way. The sharpening requires taking away parts of the pencil, it’s probably painful for the pencil, but it leads to them better serving their purpose.

Application

The goal of our sharpening isn’t just that we become better people - not that we become more talented, successful, accomplish everything we want. No, the goal is Christ. God uses our biblical relationships to shape us into people who increasingly look like Jesus. So that’s the question we should ask about our friendships and a lens we should evaluate them through - are they helping me look more like Jesus?

We can ask this question - are my relationships helping me become more like Jesus?

Are my friends helping me become...

More patient?

More humble?

More honest?

More courageous?

More loving?

More faithful?

More willing to obey God?

More willing to repent when I'm wrong?

More committed to Christ?

Because that's the target. The goal of biblical friendship isn't simply that we have people around us. The goal is that God uses the people around us to make us more like Christ.

Conclusion

Summation

Solomon has told us a few things through this scripture. He has said - Biblical friendships are critical parts of our lives because they ultimately sharpen us to look more like Jesus. He reminds us in this process that sharpening involves contact, friction, and has a purpose. The goal is for these friendships to shape us to look more like Christ.

Out of this, we have a few practical responses.

Response

Application Questions

We can ask ourselves three questions from this verse about sharpening:

Who are you allowing to shape you? (Contact)

What is your reaction to friction? (Friction)

Are your friendships making you look more like Jesus? (Purpose)

Altar Call

That’s the target - because that’s what Jesus calls us to. He lived a perfect life and died our death on a cross in order for us to be set free. In doing so, He calls us to a lifetime of pursuing Him, knowing Him greater, and being sanctified with the Holy Spirit to better reflect Him in our lives. Let’s pray.