Responsive to Dependence

INTRODUCTION

The Feeling We Avoid

Few things are harder than watching someone you love suffer and realizing you cannot fix it.

You would do anything to help. And there is simply nothing you can do.

[Story about Briggs jumping of the playground in the backyard.]

Maybe you’ve been there. You sit in the waiting room and study the doctor's face before they say a word.

Or the phone rings at two in the morning, and it’s the worst news you could’ve imagined. You make the calls, read the articles, spend the money, try every option you can find. And nothing changes.

That kind of helplessness gets under your skin. We try to avoid it at all costs. When it finally does catch us, it can drive us to despair.

We call it being realistic. But underneath is a verdict: “If I can’t fix it, nothing can.” And that verdict can quietly become our view of God.

So we build our lives to make sure that we never feel helpless again. We don’t just want to be prepared. We want to be in control.

So we work and plan and save and insure. Some of that is wisdom. Some of it is fear. It’s not always easy to tell the difference.

Most of us would rather control a bad situation than depend on someone else in a good one. It what our culture celebrates and what we’re trained to do.

A helpless state is something most resist.

If something breaks, we fix it. If life knocks us down, we get back up. We call it “pulling yourself up by your bootstraps.” It sounds so natural. But is it? Can that even be done? It can’t.

We’ve taken an impossible feat and made it an American commandment. Hard work and responsibility are virtues. Laziness is a sin (Prov 6:6).

But responsibility and self-reliance are not the same thing. Responsibility does what God has given you to do. Self-reliance refuses to admit you need God at all.

People say, “God helps those who help themselves.” The problem is, that is not in the Bible. The Bible says the opposite.

God did not wait for us to become strong and useful. Christ came while we were helpless and in need.

Self-reliance tells you to clean yourself up before you come. It teaches you to hide your need until you cannot hide it anymore.

We hide our weakness from the people whose approval matters most. We want them to see what we can handle, not where we need help.

We hesitate to admit when we are overwhelmed. Whether we’re at home, at work or at church we lie and say “I’m fine.” Appearing capable becomes more important than the truth.

And that instinct will impact your relationship with God. We know we need the Lord, but we live as if we don’t. We pretend like pleases him is our self-sufficiency.

A helpless state is something most resist.

But that will ruin your relationship with God.

Responsive to Dependence

Matthew is going to help us see that dynamic in our passage today with three different individuals.

Each one has a desperate need and each one shows true dependence.

An influntial leader cannot save his daughter.

A woman with a sickness can’t find anyone to help.

Another girl has died and cannot even ask.

None come to Jesus as another teacher for advice. Each comes to Jesus as the only Son of God.

What impresses Jesus is not their rank or reputation. It is the humble faith that knows its need and cries for help.

For ten weeks Matthew has been answering the question the disciples asked in the boat: “What man is this?”

Every story has shown us more of his authority.

He cleansed a leper. He healed the Centurion’s servant from a distance. He calmed a storm, drove out demons, forgave sin, and welcomed sinners. Last week he told John's disciples he would not fit their box.

Such authority and power might intimidate a person. It’s like being in the presence of someone greater than you. Their being “put together” exposes all the more how your life is “falling apart.”

Your faith is weak. Your life is messy. You do not feel like you have much to offer. But you do not have to be strong for Jesus. He’s not impressed by that. As we saw in chapter 8, Jesus is impressed by modest people with great faith.

Jesus is responsive to dependence.

And if dependence is the goal, weakness is the advantage.

Read the Text

Matthew connects this story to what we read last week. Jesus had just said the wedding guests cannot mourn while the groom is with them.

Now that groom walks into a room full of mourners and shows them all why it wasn’t needed.

Matthew 9:18–26 CSB

18 As he was telling them these things, suddenly one of the leaders came and knelt down before him, saying, “My daughter just died, but come and lay your hand on her, and she will live.” 19 So Jesus and his disciples got up and followed him.

20 Just then, a woman who had suffered from bleeding for twelve years approached from behind and touched the end of his robe, 21 for she said to herself, “If I can just touch his robe, I'll be made well.”

22 Jesus turned and saw her. “Have courage, daughter,” he said. “Your faith has saved you.” And the woman was made well from that moment.

23 When Jesus came to the leader's house, he saw the flute players and a crowd lamenting loudly. 24 “Leave,” he said, “because the girl is not dead but asleep.” And they laughed at him. 25 After the crowd had been put outside, he went in and took her by the hand, and the girl got up. 26 Then news of this spread throughout that whole area.

What’s unique about this story is how Matthew wraps one miracle within another. Each one is beyond human help. Each one needs Christ to save.

A man with high status falls down to his knees. A woman with low status reaches through the crowd. Finally, a helpless child gets raised from death to life.

Matthew tells it faster than Mark or Luke. No pressing crowd. No messengers from the house. No “Who touched me?” Everything that would pull your eyes off Jesus has been cut away.

So what kind of need gets Jesus’ attention? Matthew answers in three separate movements.

RESPONDS TO ONE POSTURE

Matthew begins with a description of this father who happens to serve as a leader in the the temple.

Notice how his role is given but his name is not. Mark and Luke provide it but Matthew leaves it out.

For nine chapters the religious establishment has kept its distance from Jesus. They called him a blasphemer when he forgave the paralytic. They questioned why he ate with sinners. Even John's disciples asked why his people did not fast.

Now one of those leaders pushes through the crowd, not to test Jesus or resist him but to beg him for his help.

He has a position in town that opens doors but that position cannot help him with THIS need. That’s why Matthew seems to contrast his social standing with his humble posture.

He had power and authority but that status did not matter. Those things were useless to help him solve this problem.

Christ responds to his position but not the one you’d think. It wasn’t his social status but his spirit of humility.

There’s one posture Jesus will reward.

The posture he requires is a poverty of spirit.

There will be problems in your life that your position helps you solve. (One phone call and it’s done.)

There are other problems your position cannot solve. For those needs, your standing is irrelevant.

In this man’s case, his position was important. He might’ve even leveraged it to help him enlist Jesus. But notice he doesn’t do that. Instead he kneels down before him.

Matthew uses the same word he used with the wise men at the birth of Jesus. It’s the same word used of the leper in chapter 8. It’s the word Matthew used to describe the disciples in the boat.

It can describe homage or worship or just a spirit of submission. We do not have to assume this man understands everything about Jesus to see that he places himself beneath him.

He’s not moved by our status or credentials. He’s not impressed like other people are. He responds to humility and faith because those are the things that actually matter in God’s kingdom.

Reverence Over Rank

This father does not present his credentials. He does not explain what his position entitles him to receive.

He comes as a desperate father who cannot help his daughter. He submits to Jesus' authority while asking for his mercy.

Jesus doesn’t turn and say, “I’ll help you if you quit.” All that he requires is that a person know their need. What’s required is that you recognize HIS position and your dependence in relationship to that.

Holy reverence must outweigh your social rank.

Pay close attention to the man’s request. “My daughter just died, but come and lay your hand on her, and she will live.”

“My daughter just died…” names his helplessness. “If you touch her, she will live…” names his confidence in Jesus. Death has ended what he can do. It has not ended what he believes Jesus can do.

Notice how he specifies the “hand of Jesus.” The same emphasis three times in this passage. Throughout the OT God’s salvation came through “his hand.” It was symbolic of God’s great power and being “mighty to save.”

As a temple leader this man would’ve been familiar with those themes. His posture and his request both show his holy reverence. His response is very different than the other religious leaders. They accuse him of blasphemy but this man treats him like the Son of God.

Dependence Over Reliance

Matthew’s telling of this event also illustrates his dependence. It can be seen when you read it against Mark and Luke.

As usual, Matthew’s version is much short. But Mark and Luke actually develop the story differently.

In their version, the father comes while his daughter is still dying. Only later do they receive the word that the daughter was dead. Matthew compresses the sequence and puts her death in the opening request.

By doing so, Matthew puts the full weight of this man’s dependence at the very front. He’s not asking Jesus to get there before it’s too late. He’s not asking Jesus to do what other doctors might do. He’s asking Jesus to do what no one else could do.

Every other attempt was made. Death has already come. There’s no treatment left to try. No second opinion to chase. Jesus is asked to do what no one else could do.

To THAT request, Jesus gets us and follows. (Matthew 9:19) It’s the only time anywhere the word is used of Jesus. Usually, it’s Jesus telling people to “follow him.” But here, Jesus follows a man with desperate faith.

Dependence must outweigh your self-reliance.

The leader did not stop being a leader. He stopped trusting that it was enough.

Self-reliance asks for advice. Dependence asks for God’s hand.

What are you carrying that you cannot fix? What words would you use to describe it? Where is your self reliance preventing the grace God might give? Where is your pride and arrogance kill a spirit of reverence?

Where has your life become prayerless because you’ve chosen to carry it alone? You do not have to plead your case on why God’s help is deserved. You must only acknowledge your need and God’s unique ability to help.

We can confess that we need God and still go days without asking him for help. We make the calls, form the plans and work the hours - but keep prayer in a place of last resort. It’s only even considered after you’ve exhausted everything else.

Bring the need to Jesus before you even here my next point. Pray while you work. Pray while you love. Pray while you fight with your spouse. Pray while you’re changing the diaper. Pray because you trust God can help!

RECEIVES EVERY PERSON

That leads us to where Matthew goes next which is the desperation of a woman. She had a physical ailment that resulted in ritual uncleanness.

The leader’s status didn’t make him more worthy and the woman’s status wouldn’t make her less worthy.

20 Just then, a woman who had suffered from bleeding for twelve years approached from behind and touched the end of his robe, 21 for she said to herself, “If I can just touch his robe, I'll be made well.”

22 Jesus turned and saw her. “Have courage, daughter,” he said. “Your faith has saved you.” And the woman was made well from that moment.

While Jesus is responding to the need of the desperate Father, another desperate person reaches out for him.

Matthew introduces the man through his social standing but he introduces the woman by her personal suffering. One comes with a title and speaks directly to Jesus. The other one approaches Jesus from behind.

Even though the need was urgent and the man was well connected, Jesus stops and ministers to this troubled and suffering woman. She’s the polar opposite of the leader of the temple. He was spiritually connected with great support. She had become disconnected and isolated.

There is no person Jesus won’t receive.

Even as Jesus walks with this father, in response to his great faith, he turns to the woman and treats her with compassion.

Neither person's need erased the other. Both needs are treated personally by the Lord.

We tend to rank people. Titles get our attention. Connections open doors. Reputation, social standing, the nature of the need - all of these influence where someone stands on the pecking order.

Jesus does the opposite again and again. He touched the leper, helped the Centurion, healed a paralytic, welcomed sinners, and now treat a trouble woman with the same dignity of a religious leader.

What would you think if you were in his shoes? Matthew does not report the father's thoughts but you can imagine. Sometimes, someone else's suffering can feel like an interruption. Yet the mercy he relied on was the same mercy that caused Jesus to stop.

You matter to Jesus. So does the person you would overlook. His love for EVERY person challenges our doubt AND selfishness.

Some hesitate to ask and say “Jesus has more important things to deal with.” Others resent seeing “less important” people get God’s help.

Jesus would challenge both impulses, our hesitation and selfishness. What Jesus says unto the woman was just as relevant for the Father.

“Have courage, daughter… I can see your need… I can see your faith and it will bring salvation.”

When you’re suffering and tempted to say, “What about me?” Look at this father. Look at this woman. And listen to Jesus’ response. Jesus' care for her does not erase his care for him.

Bring your request without making someone else's request compete. The mercy you depend on is the mercy they need, too.

His Mercy Reassures

Matthew describes her suffering as a 12 year bleeding condition. (which is interesting because Mark tells us the girl was 12 years old)

That she approaches Jesus from behind tells you something about her predicament.

The Greek word translated bleeding is also used in Leviticus 15:33 (LXX) There, it describes the female menstrual period which result in ritual impurity. The rules around temple worship required excluding ritual impurity.

For that reason, a woman on her period was excluded from acts of worship in the temple. There were also exclusion for men for a different reason. None of these suggested moral defilement but they given to emphasize God’s holiness.

Nothing broken, improper or ritually defiled was allowed into the presence of God. Which meant those who became ritually defiled became excluded from civic and social life.

The bleeding of this woman wasn’t a menstrual cycle but it was a similar bleeding with a similar result. The fact that the bleeding was chronic meant she was permanently excluded from worship. She likely felt the full weight of social and spiritual alienation. And she had carried this weight for 12 insufferable years.

Mark and Luke both emphasize her efforts to deal with the problem. Not only could nobody fix it. She lost all her money in the processes.

The pain she carried was not just physical. It was relational and emotional and spiritual. And in that place of heaviness, Jesus turns and sees.

Matthew does not describe every consequence she experienced. You can only imagine this woman’s frame of mind. And yet, in that suffering, she knows that Jesus can save. “If I can just touch his robe, I'll be made well.”

Notice the word “just.” She seeks the least contact she thinks sufficient: the end of his robe. That most likely refers to a tassel worn in obedience to Numbers 15:38–39.

Twelve years of suffering, and she thinks the edge of his robe will be enough. She knows the weight of her condition. But she believes his power is greater. She approaches from behind and touches the robe but Jesus turns around to see.

Not only does Jesus turn around. He sees her misery and speaks with mercy. “Jesus turned and saw her. ‘Have courage, daughter…’” (Matthew 9:22) Feel the weight of those words against the backdrop of her condition.

These words of mercy and comfort were likely just what she needed to hear.

Jesus’ mercy reassures you of his love.

His Word Restores

Jesus says to this woman what he said to the paralytic, “Have courage, son/daughter...” But then he gives a reason.

Jesus does not rebuke her for coming from behind. Jesus does not reject her on the grounds of ritual purity. He blesses her for her faith.

And notice what he calls her: “daughter.” It’s the same word used by the dad in verse 18. Jesus is showing the Father’s love to a woman thought she’d lost it.

This is the only place in Matthew where Jesus addresses an individual as daughter. And it was spoken to a person whose need looked to others as an interruption.

Matthew reports her healing on the heels of Jesus’ word. Mark and Luke attach healing to the touch but Matthew puts it after Jesus’ Word.

Matthew also uses a word filled with special meaning. It’s translated saved in verse 22 but the CSB translates it “made well” on either side. It’s really the Greek word “sozo” which means to save or to deliver. It’s the word used to show how Jesus “saves God’s people from their sin.”

First the woman speaks it in verse 21. Then Jesus speaks in verse 22. Then Matthew says it, “she was made well from that moment.”

We’re saved by grace through faith. It’s a sovereign act of God. The power to save belongs to Jesus but the act of faith is ours.

Matthew wants to emphasize the power of Jesus’ Word. It wasn’t a special tassel on his robe. It wasn’t the woman’s faith. It wasn’t really anything but the power of Christ and his Word.

His Word carried the authority to restore what twelve years of suffering had taken. The power of faith is not in the faith. It’s the thing in which it’s placed. Her faith was in Jesus and the Word that he had spoken.

The power to save belonged to Jesus. But her faith is what turned him around. This is the way of salvation. Salvation belongs to the Lord. His hand is mighty to save. But he only responds to faith.

Do you have faith in Jesus? Are you trusting in his Word?

Jesus’ Word restores you back to life.

It’s not your faith that does the work. It’s the Word of Christ. All that you must do is live as if it’s true.

What we tend to do, is use our faith to make Jesus do what we want. We weaponize our faith so God will do the things we want.

The question isn’t “Did I ask correctly? Did I believe strongly enough?” The question is, “Has God spoken? Do you trust his Word?”

You are coming to a person, not a vending machine. Dependence means entrusting your need to Jesus and his Word. His power isn’t leveraged. His mercy isn’t purchased. It’s something that trust in no matter what may come.

This woman received a healing but not every person does. Her story does not promise that every illness will be healed. It does show us where the power to heal resides.

Are you willing to show that kind of faith? Will you listen to the Word that Jesus speaks? Will you trust him, and live as if its true. He responds to just one posture but will receive every person.

RULES OVER EVERY POWER

Matthew ends this story with Jesus entering the ruler’s house. By the time that Jesus gets there, the mourners are doing their thing.

23 When Jesus came to the leader's house, he saw the flute players and a crowd lamenting loudly. 24 “Leave,” he said, “because the girl is not dead but asleep.” And they laughed at him. 25 After the crowd had been put outside, he went in and took her by the hand, and the girl got up. 26 Then news of this spread throughout that whole area.

The house belongs to the leader, the mourners have a job, but Jesus is the one telling people what to do.

Once again Matthew seems to highlight Jesus’ authority. He tells the mourners, “Leave…” and then “they’re put outside…” He takes the girl by the hand and she rises at his word.

There is no power over which Christ does not reign.

The house belongs to Jarius but Jesus' controls what happens. His great mercy does not diminish his authority.

It’s that authority that brings death back to life.

But it’s also that authority that rebukes our unbelief.

Unbelief Rebuked

By the time that Jesus got there, opinions had been formed. Jesus could do some things but this was just too far.

Yet, when Jesus get’s there he challenges their faith. He says, “the girl is sleeping” and they laugh right in his face.

Their laughter is juxtaposed with their ritual mourning. Their lamenting was performative just like the fasting of John’s disciples. They were “going through the motions” but not aware of who was present.

Their ridicule of Jesus is in contrast with the woman. She has faith in Jesus Word but they show unbelief. He tells them all to “Leave, because the girl is not dead but asleep.” (Matthew 9:24)

To their credit, these Words of Jesus did seem odd. And their grieving was not wrong if she had died. But their ridicule was wrong given the facts. She may have been dead, but Jesus would wake her up.

These words from Jesus do not minimize the parents pain. Nor do these words suggest the girl wasn’t really dead. Their grieving was appropriate and the circumstances tragic. That’s what makes the miracle such an incredible feat.

Notice how their unbelief doesn’t stop the miracle. All it does is kick them out from the room in which it happens.

Matthew uses a forceful word translated “put outside.” It the same word that he used when Jesus exorcized the demons. (ekballo)

In that way, this miracle foreshadows the Final Judgment. Unbelievers are cast out and dependent hearts are raised to life. There are many things Jesus could rebuke but he chooses unbelief.

Unbelief will be rebuked.

He doesn’t rebuke the woman. He doesn’t rebuke the leper. He doesn’t rebuke the paralytic. But he does rebuke unbelief. It’s not the same as doubt. It’s more settled and certain.

Do not turn what you can’t see into a verdict against what Christ says. Every person has a choice to take him at his Word. How you respond may not change what He can do. But it will change your place within it.

Bring him your questions, your grief, and your need. Dependence can speak honestly about all three. What it gives up is the right to make our understanding the measure of Jesus' authority.

Dependent Hearts Raised

But Matthew doesn’t stop with their unbelief. This story terminates with resurrection life.

The story ends just like it began. “Come and lay your hand on her...” (v18) Jesus “took her by the hand.” (v25)

The woman reached for Jesus but this girl cannot move. But in her helpless state, Jesus takes takes her hand. And then, “She got up.” Its the same word used for Jesus at the resurrection. (Matthew 28:6)

Unlike Luke and Mark, Matthew leaves out Jesus’ words. There’s no struggle or procedure, just authority over death. The girl's rising points towards something greater.

When the Lord returns, those in Christ, will be raised from death to life.

Dependent hearts will be raised to life.

This girl’s resurrection would not be everlasting. Eventually, she would die again.

That to which it points is so much greater. Jesus is the resurrection and the life.

Some of you have buried someone that you love. Some of you prayed for healing that did not come. That loss does not mean your prayers were defective.

The hope Christians have rests in Jesus' death and resurrection (1 Thess 4:13–14). You can trust Jesus while you weep. He will take them by the hand just like he took this girl.

The hands of Jesus are the very hands of God. His resurrection is the promise of eternal life. When people heard it, the news spread everywhere. Here’s a man who drives out demons and brings the dead to life.

CHRIST CONNECTION

What we see in verse 18 Jesus models with his life. Just as he bowed down, so did Jesus bow to the Father.

“Just like this Father, Jesus submitted himself to God’s will. Even though, it took him to the cross.” (Matt 26:39).

He drank the cup that the woman symbolizes. Not for his impurity but the impurities of our sin. On the cross he was rejected and despised. He was driven “outside the gate” and “from God’s holy presence.”

There they ridiculed him. “He saved others; he cannot save himself ... He trusts in God; let God rescue him now” (27:42–43).

But through that death Jesus brought about salvation. His faith in God the Father to raise him back to life enabled God to be both just and justifer of those who believe. It’s the same word, “sozo.” Jesus saves us from our sin.

But our salvation came through his suffering. Our spiritual healing, came because he took God’s wrath. Our resurrection life comes through his atoning death.

When Jesus died, many graves in Jerusalem are opened. It’s an interesting comment unique to Matthew’s gospel.

“The tombs were also opened and many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised” (27:52).

The people mocking Jesus couldn’t see what his death accomplished. Yet the graves testify Jesus has all power.

The Savior they dismissed was opening the way to life. That way is open for EVERY person who will bend their knee to Jesus. It doesn’t matter who you are, where you from or what you’ve done. What matters is a spirit of dependence.

Repentance gives up the claim that you can make yourself right. Belief receives the Savior who did what you could not. Jesus has all the power, and he responds to those with none.

How will you respond to your problem you can’t solve?

CONCLUSION

If you have never trusted Jesus, stop trying to lift yourself by your own bootstraps.

The Savior has accomplished what you cannot do for yourself.

Repent: acknowledge your sin and give up the claim that you can make yourself right with God.

Believe: entrust yourself to Jesus, who died and rose again for sinners.

You do not have to present a record that earns his welcome. Come with the need you actually have. Ask him to save you.

Your weakness is not what keeps you from Jesus. Your self-reliance is.

If you are a Christian, this text gives you three things to do this week.

Kneel. Reach. Give him what has died.

Kneel: acknowledge the need you cannot meet and submit it to Jesus.

Reach: bring what you have been reluctant to ask him about, trusting his mercy.

Give him what has died: place before him what you think is broken beyond repair. (a person, marriage, circumstance, etc.)

Ask Jesus for his help and then choose to trust his Word. And if you cannot hear that word, then pray for ears to hear. Be willing to walk wherever he would lead.

Jesus is responsive to dependence.

His power and authority are the things in which we rest.

The father brought his need. The woman reached for help. The crowd laughed at his word.

What will you do with the one Matthew has shown you?

You do not have to deny the weight of what you are facing. Name it honestly and bring it to him. His cross and resurrection give you reason to trust his heart, his power, and his saving promise.

Jesus has all the power, and he responds to those with none.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

Why do we resist feeling helpless, and how can self-reliance quietly damage our relationship with God?

What do the father’s posture and request in Matthew 9:18 reveal about genuine faith and dependence?

What is the difference between faithful responsibility and sinful self-reliance? Where is that line hardest for you to recognize?

What does Jesus’ response to the suffering woman teach us about how he sees people whom others overlook or exclude?

Why is the power of faith found in its object—Jesus and his Word—rather than in the strength of our belief?

The mourners’ unbelief did not stop Jesus’ power, but it did exclude them from witnessing the miracle. What warning does that give us?

How do Jesus’ cross and resurrection give hope when God does not answer our prayers in the way we wanted?

APPLICATION FOR THE WEEK

[ ] Identify one need you cannot meet or problem you cannot fix. Name it honestly before Jesus in prayer each day this week.Kneel:

[ ] Bring Jesus one request you have hesitated to make because it felt unimportant, embarrassing, or beyond hope.Reach:

[ ] Choose one promise or command from Scripture related to your situation. Read it daily and take one concrete step as though it is true.Trust:

[ ] Notice one person you might normally overlook. Give them your time, attention, encouragement, or practical help as an expression of Christ’s mercy.Receive: