Live as Family

Intro

[Thank worship team]

Good morning Bethel Church, and good morning to our network of rural churches that are joining us live on YouTube. And if you are new here, I want to extend a special welcome to you. If you would, there are “Connect” cards in the seat in front of you. If you would fill that out there or at the Welcome Center outside of the sanctuary. We even have a free gift for you if you are new to Bethel. We would love to get in touch with you and discuss how to get connected to our church family.

Announcements:

[Announcement 1]

[Announcement 2]

Today we will be continuing our series called “UNTIL.” If you are reading out of the Bibles in front of you, our passage can be found on page 858. If you do not have a Bible, please stop by the Welcome Center and take one. It is our gift to you.

TRANS: Pray

Opening Hook

Class, today we are beginning with a pop-quiz. Put your notebooks away, eyes up front as I give instructions, and then you have 10 seconds to answer.

On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate yourself when it comes to this area of life: community. Do you participate in community, do you have community, etc.

It is intentionally open-ended because I want to see how you’ll react.

Got your number?

Now let me define it.

Here’s how I am defining community:

I am known fully by at least a few

I know a few others fully

I make myself accountable to others

I use my gifts, talents, resources, and time to serve others as I am able

Conversation regularly gets below the surface

Conversation regularly involves scripture, faith, Jesus, etc

I walk through difficult life circumstances with others

I walk through the joys of life with others

When conflict arises, I seek them out, am willing to forgive, and attempt to reconcile.

On a scale of 1-10, rate yourself on how you’re doing on this definition. Did your answer change?

Your conversations are your relationships.

There’s a reason why many of us do not live this way.

A Reality Check

Most of us want community with an escape hatch.

The purpose of an escape hatch is to allow someone to quickly exit the situation when there is danger. Imagine a fighter jet that is going down and the pilot pulls the lever. He blasts up in his seat, exiting the plane, and a parachute deploys. Now he’s safe.

We do this in relationships. We sense danger and pull the lever. Sometimes this is justified, but many times it is not. Most of us have learned from the past that people are messy. People can hurt you, betray you. What is our solution? We keep people away. We do not open up. We assume that anything we say can and will be used against us.

Here’s the problem. God made men and women to be known. If we live with others with one foot out the door, then we will never feel loved by others. C.S. Lewis said, “to be loved is to be vulnerable.” If that’s the case, then I will not experience love from others if I do not trust them enough with myself to self-disclose.

Psychologically, one of the primary ingredients to feeling loved is when we self-disclose, and we sense that the other person responds with understanding and care. To the average person, it may actually be difficult to explain the difference between being known/cared for and being loved.

TRANS: Thankfully, the early church did not live with an “escape hatch” mentality. We actually see a model of community that we can pursue together today. With that said, let us turn to Acts 4:32 on page page 858 to discover how God intends for the church to function.

Acts 4:32–33 ESV

32 Now the full number of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one said that any of the things that belonged to him was his own, but they had everything in common. 33 And with great power the apostles were giving their testimony to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and great grace was upon them all.

The Early Church

The church was unified and spreading the gospel.

Acts 4:32-33

The church was unified in both “heart and soul.” While there is not a perfect distinction between the two, it seems worthwhile to elaborate on what that likely meant.

The heart encompasses their thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about themselves, God, and the world.

The soul was, in Jewish thought, the center of the will.

To say that they were unified in both heart and soul was to say that they thought the same things and wanted the same things. Their thoughts could not have been perfectly identical, but their minds were united in being fixated on Christ. They were unified in their thoughts about who Jesus was and what He called them to do.

It is natural, then, to see how their unity led them to both great charity and preaching. The way they lived their lives reflected the gospel in two ways: generous giving (“they had everything in common”), and bold proclamation (“giving their testimony”).

Why is it important to talk about unity? Because divided churches are ineffective churches. Speaking from experience: when there is turmoil within a church, there is very little care for another and very little outreach. Everyone is focused on the “problem” and forgets to keep the main thing the main thing.

Effectiveness begins with focus on Christ, and focus on Christ leads to unity and charity.

TRANS: There’s a little phrase I haven’t mentioned yet, but the next few verses elaborate. “no one said that any of the things that belonged to him was his own.” Luke, the author of Acts, elaborates…

Acts 4:34–35 ESV

34 There was not a needy person among them, for as many as were owners of lands or houses sold them and brought the proceeds of what was sold 35 and laid it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to each as any had need.

The church met each other’s needs.

Acts 4:34-35

Think about it. The church lived with such intimate knowledge of each other that they were able to both identify and care for those who had needs. “There was not a needy person among them.” Think of the care that was involved.

Now, here’s what we expect the church to do today: “I expect other people to know my needs without expressing my needs.” Think about the implication of this mentality. This creates an unhealthy culture of hypervigilance. What is hypervigilance?

Key Definition: “Hypervigilance is a state of heightened sensory and environmental alertness where the brain and body remain stuck in a continuous "fight-or-flight" default mode, constantly scanning for hidden or presumed threats even when you are safe.”

Here’s how that applies to a church culture where people function from the attitude, “I expect other people to know my needs without expressing my needs.” Relationships become strained as needs to unmet. All of a sudden, a good friend turns cold. “What happened?” They won’t say (to you). But someone else reports, “[insert name here] said that you didn’t notice that they weren’t at church for 2 weeks and you didn’t reach out to them.” You think, well I did notice but I didn’t know something was wrong. “Are they ok?” The mutual friend replies, “you should probably talk to them.”

Many of us function this way. Many of our families function this way. We expect others to notice, and when they don’t, we become resentful. Friendships are strained, bonds are broken, and now we are in fix-it mode.

Hypervigilance is when people are on edge because it is *my* job to notice the needs of others, because if I don’t, I will pay for it. Others will see me as not caring or loving, and I will lose friendships in the process. Imagine being by a swimming pool but you have not gotten in yet. What do you do? You dip your toe in the water to check the temperature. Hypervigilance is when we are constantly “checking the temperature” to see if something is “off.” We ask, “are we ok? are we ok? are we ok?” because no one self-discloses or reassures. But after a while of living this way, our ability to trust others when they really do self-disclose or reassure is completely shot. We assume they are only saying these things to make us feel better, or it’s only half the truth.

Is community possible in such a culture? Is what I described a safe place? A place where we would want to be? No. And yet many of us live this way.

This is not the way Jesus set up His church. And we aren’t the only ones to get this wrong.

The Acts of the Apostles through the Centuries Tensions within and Without (Acts 4:32–5:42)

John Wesley preached a sermon entitled “Scriptural Christianity” based on

The rhetorical question was meant to cut us to the heart. We see this in the Scriptures and yet we look around and ask, “where is this being lived out?”

But look at how the early church functioned. They knew of each others needs, and their needs were met.

Laying their property or the money from the sale of their property at the apostles’ feet is a sign of their surrender of their lives wholly to Christ. Because the gifts are presented to the apostles (4:35, 37; 5:2), those who receive help do not become indebted to the individual donors, who otherwise would become their patrons.6 The recipients are to understand the gifts as God meeting their needs “according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.”1

6 Malina and Pilch, Acts, 46–47.

1 David E. Garland, Acts, ed. Mark L. Strauss and John H. Walton, Teach the Text Commentary Series (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books: A Division of Baker Publishing Group, 2017), 51.

The church gave and received gifts. The church knew each other’s needs well enough to care for one another.

Knowing each other’s needs requires both intentionality on the part of those who can meet needs, and self-disclosure from those who have needs.

Here’s my challenge to you:

If you have needs. Tell us. Tell me. Tell an elder. We will not shame you, we will not make you feel like you are a failure. We will care for you and support you.

Here’s something very practical: If you have a bill that you have no idea how you will pay it… bring it to the church this week. Our care team will review your needs and walk with you.

TRANS: The church met each other’s needs. And this was not under compulsion or pressure.

Acts 4:36–37 ESV

36 Thus Joseph, who was also called by the apostles Barnabas (which means son of encouragement), a Levite, a native of Cyprus, 37 sold a field that belonged to him and brought the money and laid it at the apostles’ feet.

The church practiced joyful generosity.

Acts 4:36-37

Jesus’s teachings on generosity toward the poor shaped early Christian practice[1], but the Acts 4 account reflects deeper cultural currents that illuminate why resource-sharing became central to community identity.

There was a Jewish group around the time of the early church called The Essenes. They had similar communal systems, and this likely influenced the Jerusalem church’s approach[1]. However, a crucial distinction existed: while the Essenes required resource contributions upon joining their community, the Jerusalem Christians practiced voluntary sharing[1]. After Jesus’s ascension, the Jerusalem church recalled his instructions to sell possessions and give to the poor, implementing this teaching along lines similar to Qumran[1].

The cultural backdrop also involved Greco-Roman friendship ideals. In antiquity, friendship was virtually defined by believers being “of one heart and mind,” with the axiom that “friends hold all things in common”—a principle Luke explicitly applied to the early church[2]. This wasn’t exotic communalism but rather the embodiment of an ancient philosophical virtue.

Theologically, the practice expressed spiritual transformation. After experiencing God’s forgiveness and receiving the Holy Spirit, church members displayed God’s love through the fullness of the Spirit, and their joy in sharing resources made significant impact on the broader Jewish community[3]. By emphasizing shared possessions alongside apostolic teaching and prayer, Luke portrayed a people formed according to Jesus’s prophetic vision—one that had “saved themselves from this corrupt generation” through countercultural commitment[2].

To facilitate this charitable distribution, Christian overseers were appointed similarly to Essene structures[1], establishing a process that allowed leaders like Peter to focus on preaching rather than logistics.

[1] Daryn Graham, “The Genesis of the Jerusalem Donation,” Themelios (2020), 45:1:58–59. [2] Luke Timothy Johnson, Prophetic Jesus, Prophetic Church: The Challenge of Luke-Acts to Contemporary Christians (Grand Rapids, MI; Cambridge, U.K.: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 2011), 111–112. [3] Ronald E. Diprose, “A Theology of the New Covenant: The Foundations of New Testament Theology,” Emmaus Journal (2009), 18:1:42.

Faith may be measured by a believer’s attitude toward money

Quote: François-Marie Arouet. François-Marie Arouet, better known as Voltaire, was a French writer, philosopher, and historian, and a staunch atheist. He was against the established Catholic Church, because he could not see any difference that religion had upon the individual or the world. He stated, “When it is a question of money, everybody is of the same religion.”20 One of the distinguishing factors of the early believers was their willingness to sell their “property and possessions to give to anyone who had need” (2:43–44). Joseph Barnabas laid his money and possessions before the feet of the apostles for the sake of the poor (4:36–37). On the other hand, Ananias and Sapphira cherished money more than the vow that they had made before the Lord and the church, and God would not turn a blind eye. Today’s world, driven as it is by materialism, superficiality, and greed, must see that Christians are driven by extravagant generosity and unselfish stewardship.1

20 Voltaire to Mme. d’Épinal, Ferney, December 26, 1760, in Oeuvres Complètes de Voltaire: Correspondance, vol. 9 (Paris: Garnier Frères, 1881), letter # 4390, p. 124.

1 David E. Garland, Acts, ed. Mark L. Strauss and John H. Walton, Teach the Text Commentary Series (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books: A Division of Baker Publishing Group, 2017), 54–55.

[Quote, commentary, story, personal connection, word study, factbook, popular quotes, etc]

TRANS: [text]

Big Idea

Until Jesus returns, we will live as family.

Myth: the church is just *like* your family.

Truth: The church is not like a family, it is your family in Christ.

Paul talks about in Romans 8 how all people who have responded to the gospel by faith — who have a personal relationship with God — call God “Father.” Why? Because we have been adopted into His family. Your church family is more truly your family then your own family. This is completely counter-cultural to rural America, but it was counter-cultural in the ancient world as well. What did Jesus say to follow Him? “You must hate (love less) your own mother and father.”

A short little booklet called How To Lead Your Family, he says, “remember, as you lead your wife, remember that she is a part of Christ’s bride before she is your bride.”

Your church family is not an optional add-on, it is your primary. This is not a biological reality, we are not all literal blood close relatives, this is a spiritual reality. Why is there no marriage in heaven? Because we are all the family of God, the Bride of Christ, where we will exist as perfect family for all eternity.

TRANS: As we consider the implications that our church is our family… This morning I only have one key step for us.

Application

Don’t just attend your church, invest in it.

Galatians 6:2 ESV

2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Time

Talent

Treasure

*Personal story of being far from home, not being around biological family my whole life, and getting to

Conclusion : Until Jesus returns, we will live like family.

Pray

Talk About It/Think About It

Why do you think many people live with an “escape hatch” mentality when it comes to community?

What stands out about the connection between the believers’ unity, their shared possessions, and the apostles’ testimony about Jesus?

Pastor Richard says, “Your conversations are your relationships.” How could our conversations move beyond surface topics to include faith, struggles, and what Jesus is doing in our lives?

How can we grow in both noticing others’ needs and communicating our own, without expecting people to read our minds?

What does Barnabas’ example reveal about a proper relationship between faith and money?

Which area—time, talent, or treasure—is God prompting you to invest more intentionally? What specific step could you take this week?