Dealing with offenders

An unbeliever told me that a coworker who is a Christian had done something to her. The next day, the Christian, convicted by the Spirit, came to ask for her forgiveness. The unbeliever, thinking that by doing what she was about to do she would hurt the offender, replied, “As easy as that? You know what, I will not forgive you!” She did not realize that, by denying her forgiveness, she would be more affected than the other person. The offender would have the peace of doing what she was expected to do; the offended would not enjoy “the peace of forgiveness”.

Have you ever been hurt to the point that has become difficult to forgive the offender?

There is a well known saying, “Do yourself a favor, forgive!” The main beneficiary of forgiveness is not the offender, but the forgiver. Not forgiving amounts to a slavery of resentment and bitterness. Forgiving breaks those chains!

Joseph’s story is one the most touching one in the Bible due to the way he dealt with those that had mistreated him.

Joseph is a type of Christ in the Old Testament. He was unjustly hated by his brothers, he was sold for a price, unjustly accused by the wife of his master, exalted by God, and he forgave his offenders.

From Joseph’s life, we may learn how to deal with those that have done something to us. The first thing we can do is

Treat the offenders well.

Offenders usually forget that, sooner or later, they will face or will need of the person they offended. The brothers had already forgotten what they had done to Joseph. When they were in need, the thing they lest imagined was that they would be in need of Joseph’s help.

Overcoming evil with good.

Joseph’s position in Egypt gave him the power to destroy them, but that would place in the same category. He chose to follow the Golden Rule:

Luke 6:31 NASB95

“Treat others the same way you want them to treat you.

The famous story of the Hatfields and the McCoys teaches that revenge only bring more pain.

We will not solve anything giving evil for evil. On the contrary, the Bible tells that the weapon is doing good: ,

Romans 12:17 NASB95

Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men.

Romans 12:21 NASB95

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

And that is the example that Jesus gave us, doing good!:

1 Peter 2:22–23 NASB95

who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously;

Just like Joseph broke the pattern of responding with evil, we can also do it by treating well those who hurt us.

Letting God deal with them.

Joseph knew that his own justice was imperfect; he could do too much damage or not enough. But he trusted on a Perfect Judge, one who truly imparts justice: God!

“Do not take the law into your own hands” is a common saying. Where is that coming from? From

Romans 12:19 NASB95

Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.

Do not get your hands dirty; let God deal with them!

See God’s hand behind the offense.

If we believe that “God causes all thing to work together for good to those that love the Lord”, we should the offenses received as something God will use for our benefit.

If we believe that “God causes all thing to work together for good to those that love the Lord”, we should the offenses received as something God will use for our benefit.

God uses people for His purpose.

“I am Joseph, who you sold to Egypt (45:4)...It was not you who sent me here, but God… (45:8)”

“I am Joseph, who you sold to Egypt (45:4)...It was not you who sent me here, but God… (45:8)”

Joseph is saying, “It is not because you sold me that I am here. God used you and your sin against me to bring here.”

God had a perfect purpose and used his own brothers and all that happened to accomplish it.

That’s a positive perspective! Instead of crying and complaining, he saw the good side of it. We must learn to see things from that perspective: “God is doing something good thru this, even if I do not see it now!”

Likewise, God will use those around you, those you love, to do hurtful things to you, but He has a purpose behind it.

God uses problems to strengthen us.

Genesis 50:20 NASB95

“As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive.

There is a phrase we should never forget when we examine Joseph’s life and that is, “The Lord was with Joseph!” Despite their brothers’ betrayal, the unjust accusation of the woman, and the prison, God prospered him, gave him grace with those in charge, and put him in positions of authority.

There is a phrase we should never forget when we examine Joseph’s life and that is, “The Lord was with Joseph!” Despite their brothers’ betrayal, the unjust accusation of the woman, and the prison, God prospered him, gave him grace with those in charge, and put him in positions of authority.

Every trial was like a hammering over the red hot steel. He would become stronger and wiser

Forgive before they ask for forgiveness.

Joseph forgave even without being asked.

It is interesting that, before Jacob’s death, they never asked for forgiveness. You will meet many people like that. They know what they have done, but their pride does not allow them to humble and say “I am sorry for what I did to you, please forgive me”.

They did it seventeen years after he told them who he was, but only because they were afraid that, now that their father was gone, Joseph would take vengeance on them.

And they did not have the dignity of doing it face to face, but by messenger. They even said, “Dad told us to tell you that you must forgive us”.

Joseph wept when he heard those words? Why??? Was it a genuine request? Did they not see the kindness he had shown to them?

Going the extra mile for the forgiven.

Genesis 50:21 NASB95

“So therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones.” So he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.

He went the extra mile! Did they deserve it? No!

We did not deserve to be treated well by God, but He did!

Doing good to those that treat us well has no merit; anyone can do it; but treating well your enemies? That’s what Jesus commands us to do:

Luke 6:27–28 NASB95

“But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.

Observe that Jesus tell us to pray for them. Most often, we do not want to do that. We prefer to be indifference to them. But think about this quote…

Cómo perdonar… cuando no lo sientes ¿Cómo Oramos por Nuestros Enemigos?

perdonar al ofensor es permitir que se aleje el deseo de que le ocurran cosas malas, mientras que la oración es el deseo de que le ocurran cosas buenas.

When you get to this point, then you truly learned to forgive!

Let me conclude with these two verses: and

Ephesians 4:32 NASB95

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

Colossians 3:13 NASB95

bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.