His Will. My Way?

Text: Genesis 16:1-16

Central Idea of the Text: Sarai’s plans for blessing are not God’s plans, yet they are not outside of God’s ordained will or use.

Proposition: God allows sinful detours and times so we can see: His way is the best way.

Purpose: All hearers are called to examine where they have impatiently imposed their will over God’s, and return to his plan and timing.

A few weeks ago, we wrapped up a sermon series called Spiritual Songs. It was about songs that speak to timeless truths that tie to scripture, and I had a great time with that series. But as I was reading this week’s text, and studying the meaning of it, another song came to my mind. It’s not, however, a song that I would have put on my “Spiritual Songs” playlist. In fact, on my list of songs I don’t care for, this one would be right up there (and yes, way higher on that list than “In the Garden”). The song in question? Frank Sinatra’s “My Way.”

Now funerals are sad enough occasions, but what makes the occasion for me even sadder is when this is the song and these are the lyrics that the deceased individual wants to be known for: “For what is a man, what has he got? If not himself, then he has naught. To say the things he truly feels, And not the words of one who kneels. The record shows I took the blows And did it my way!” Now, you may have never stopped to think about those lyrics before, but when you do, they are some of the most self-centered, vain and proud lyrics to commemorate the life of a man, especially at the end of his life. A life of love is a life of sacrifice. A life lived for self, and doing one’s own thing? That is a selfish path of pride.

Which is why it is so interesting that the man, Frank Sinatra, who made this song famous? He hated this song with a passion. In speaking frankly about the song to his daughter Tina, he said it was “Self-Serving and Self-Indulgent.” At the later years of his own life, he had a great measure of his own failures and shortcomings. He did not want the record to show that he had no regrets. He referred to the song as the gum on his shoe that he couldn’t get off. So it was thru clenched teeth that he would often sing that song. At a Los Angeles concert in 1979, Sinatra introduced the song by saying: “"And of course, the time comes now for the torturous moment — not for you, but for me. I hate this song. I HATE THIS SONG!" And yet the crowds clamored to hear it, and for some it became an anthem and a license to live their life without thought of consequence or damage to relationship. And for the handful of times I’ve heard it at a funeral, I’ve never once heard it and thought: “man, I wish I’d lived my that way.” It’s more like a song to go to the grave with both birds firmly up saying “Forget you all … I’m glad I got to do my thing. Darn the consequences.”

But to stand in that kind of pride is to stand in firm opposition to the God who made you and to whom you will one day give account for how you lived your life. There is a God who has a design and plan for our lives. To live in defiance to his way, and to go your own. It may appear to go well with you for a time, but it will NEVER end well. Proverbs 16:25 says “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.” God has a will. But what if I want to do things “my way”? That is a question that today’s text addresses, found in Genesis 16:1-16. As we prepare to study that text, I want us to remember the words of Wise Solomon, from Proverbs 3:5-6:

Proverbs 3:5–6 ESV

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. 6 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

These are the Lord’s words for us this morning. Would you pray with me?

Father, we thank you that you have spoken. You have kept your words and will neither secret, nor unclear. You have a way and will from our lives. When we deviate from that plan, in either the near or far future, it will not go well for us and we will suffer sin’s consequences. I pray that you would call us and guide our steps back to your way, walking by FAITH and not by sight. Grow us in faith, God. We pray in Jesus’ name, amen.

We are, of course, going thru the book of Genesis, and we are currently in the middle of covering the life and faith of Abram/Abraham. Now, some of you have read the whole book of Genesis. (If you haven’t, I would encourage you to read the whole thing.) But some of you know, if you’ve read it, there are some parts that could certainly be challenging to read, to understand, to preach and to talk about. Not simply because they are hard to understand. Actually, they are pretty easy to understand. But, as some might say, they may be racy, scandalous, sound like a soap opera, maybe even get slapped with a content warning or a PG-13 or higher rating if you sought to depict it in a movie.

SO! That makes things fun for me … as I’m trying to be faithful to the scripture text, but also not be too explicit in how I do it, with families and kids in the room. I will make this pledge to you. I’m going to make this as PG as I possibly can. But I will at times do so by addressing the adults in the room with a (to quote Monty Python) “Wink, Wink, Nudge, Nudge, Saynomore, Saynomore.” I will say that at times, this may cause some of your older kids to ask some questions. At that point, if they are old enough to ask the questions, you give them some honest answers. The stories of Genesis were not intended in Old Testament times to be hidden from children. They were intended to be shared, understood and learned from. So there is nothing to be gained by us avoiding some of the tougher topics (content wise) that are happening in the text. There are a few chapters in Genesis that are like that, and today’s is one of them. (Although, this isn’t nearly the most challenging one, so please pray for me to be clear, faithful and appropriate as I preach!)

That being said, we come to chapter 16 this week, following the Narrative of Abram and his ups and downs. God has promised him: I will make you a great nation (Gen 12:3), I will make your offspring as the dust of the earth (Gen 13:16), Blessed be Abram by God Most High (Gen 14:19) and (Genesis 15:5) “Look toward heaven, and number the stars, if you are able to number them. So shall your offspring be.” Offspring. Great Nation. Blessing. Uncountable. And God said this in the face of Abram’s doubts last week as he wondered: God, you’re saying I’m going to be a great and uncountable nation. Wouldn’t it be nice if I had ONE kid then? Maybe just one? And we know he is asking because as we have noted, his wife Sarai, is barren. She is unable to have kids.

Enter a new character to the story and the text this week: Hagar. Seems like an unfortunate name for a woman, yet here we are. She, we are told in the text this morning in verse 1, is an Egyptian servant. Now that may seem like a small detail, but it has deeper meaning to the great nation that will come from Abram. As they are telling these stories to their own children, they would have taken great meaning from this woman’s identity as an Egyptian, and the contrast with Abram’s own wife Sarai. I will note some of these deeper meanings and symbolism that takes place throughout the text this morning. Genesis 16 is an illustration, a case study, in what happens when people try to make their own way rather than going God’s way, and operating by his will rather than their own. Will Abram, Sarai and Hagar sing with Frank Sinatra “I did it my way?” Or will they face some regret or take away some great message about going their own way that we can ALL learn from? Let’s start by exploring how ...

Making our own Way … may seem right to us in the moment.

As we get into the text in earnest, check out an idea that gets hatched a solution to this whole “I will make you a great nation” problem in the mind of Sarai. Look at verses 1-4:

Genesis 16:1–4 ESV

1 Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. She had a female Egyptian servant whose name was Hagar. 2 And Sarai said to Abram, “Behold now, the Lord has prevented me from bearing children. Go in to my servant; it may be that I shall obtain children by her.” And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai. 3 So, after Abram had lived ten years in the land of Canaan, Sarai, Abram’s wife, took Hagar the Egyptian, her servant, and gave her to Abram her husband as a wife. 4 And he went in to Hagar, and she conceived.

Now, just for the sake of context, we note here at the front end of this, Abram is no spring chicken, and neither is Sarai. Their ages are inferred by other spots in Genesis, but Abram is 86 years old and Sarai is 76 years old. It’s now more than 10 years since he first heard God’s call, and he’s heard these noted promises along the way. Sarai has been receiving all of these second hand from Abram, and she’s believed him enough to follow Abram around, play along with the survival game in Egypt, and be the supportive wife. The supportive wife in faith is believing the “what” that’s going to happen: Abram’s going to be a father of a nation. But what she’s not understanding is the “how”. Her biological clock stopped ticking a long time ago. Sarai is way past her childbearing years. So she hatches a plan. But the context tells us here that her plan is clearly not God’s plan.

The idea that she hatches says: “Well, you know if God can’t make it happen with the two of us. I know another way.” And so, Sarah invites the breaking of covenant. She will share her husband with another woman, and invite him to know her (in the marital way) that they may have a child together. She is basically saying “God can use you Abram, but there’s no way God could ever use me. So here you go, Abram.” I’m going to call this what it is: diabolical. She has a husband who has been faithful to her in covenant. He has no other wife, he has no other child. And she thinks she can cook up another way outside of God’s way.

Not simply is the issue with her though. She presses this servant, Hagar, toward Abram. And in doing so, they operate outside of the commands of God. Yes, some would say: “The 10 commandments were not given yet. They had no command not to commit adultery.” BUT, there is still the law of conscience, and conscience had to have held sway over their household to this point. Their household was full of male and female servants. Yet there had been strict covenant keeping between husband and wife. Abram had no other children with anyone else. Now, Sarai says “forget your conscience. This is the new plan.” There’s no space for Hagar’s conscience here. She’s treated more as an objectified slave than a treasured servant. The line here to her is what can you do for us now. MY PLAN is THE plan, says Sarai.

And finally, we observe in going their own way a sad statement at the end of verse 2: Abram listened to the voice of Sarai. We are meant to seek this in the context of Genesis in a couple ways: first, that is sound very similar to the way that Adam, who was with Eve, took the fruit and he ate it too. His wife led him to sin by echoing the voice of the serpent. Second, we are meant to contrast this verse with what we’ve heard in every chapter of Abram’s story so far. The Lord said. The Lord spoke. The Lord Spoke to Abram. Again and again, he’s been listening to GOD and believing GOD. And now when his wife concocts another plan, and suddenly he’s not looking at things from faith. He just sees what is. Two aging people that God could never use. So we will make our own plan and scheme our own way.

The temptation that is being spoken of here is what Jesus meant when he said in Matt 26:41: “The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” The thing that Israel was being reminded of in the Egyptian Hagar is the attractiveness of Egypt and the attractiveness of sin. Hagar is beautiful and fertile. Egypt was lush with crops and vegetation, and a land flowing with gold and idols. It is simply a way of speaking across the centuries to all of us to say: sin is VERY attractive. It will make promises it cannot deliver on. As we noted earlier from Proverbs 16:25 “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.” Sin will suck you in, and lead you to believe that YOU know best, rather than God. It is better for you to make your own ideas about covenant than to follow his own. It is better for you to welcome unfaithfulness into your marriage/familial relationship. It is better for you to put away conscience of your Christian upbringing and other believers. It is better for you to obey the advice of people over the voice of God. And some of you need to listen to that list of things I just gave you again, because there are multiple ways that the enemy has been working: to undermine your marriage, to challenge the order of your family, and to ultimately seek the wrecking of your faith. James 1:14–15 “14 But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. 15 Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.” Sarai’s desire has tempted Hagar’s desire and detoured Abram’s desire. And we know that they are all now on the WRONG track because ...

Making our own Way … will often carry unintended consequences.

That last piece really sounded so good and enticing to everyone involved. But look at the fallout that we see in verses 4-6:

Genesis 16:4–6 ESV

4 And he went in to Hagar, and she conceived. And when she [that is Hagar] saw that she had conceived, she looked with contempt on her mistress [that is Sarai]. 5 And Sarai said to Abram, “May the wrong done to me be on you! I gave my servant to your embrace, and when she saw that she had conceived, she looked on me with contempt. May the Lord judge between you and me!” 6 But Abram said to Sarai, “Behold, your servant is in your power; do to her as you please.” Then Sarai dealt harshly with her, and she fled from her.

Now that Hagar is pregnant, her attitude is now changed. Now she perceives that she has worth and status in a way that she didn’t before. She flaunts it around the house. She raises her nose in the air, and she “looks with contempt” on Sarai. To this point in Abram and Sarai’s story, we’ve seen little of this kind of drama. Where he goes, she goes. Where they are they both live and stay. But now that Sarai thrust another woman into Abram’s arms, and now that she’s expecting his child. We see all kinds of familial disorder and chaos. And all of it operates outside of God’s intention in marriage. One man and one woman for life. Jesus affirmed it in Matthew 19:4-6. God’s way is the best way. But now from the appealing sin comes all kinds of chaos and terrible consequences. Look at the ways:

First is simply the contempt, that Hagar is looking in a way that rubs it is Sarai’s face. I’m better. I’m more loved. I’m more blessed. HA! [It just makes a woman want to punch another woman just thinking about this.

Then comes the Jealousy and the Envy. That is how Sarai responds to seeing the resulting pregnancy and the way that she is being treated. It’s a jealousy of “why can’t that be me?” It’s an envy of “I want the thing that she has! And If I don’t have it, I’m going to burn with an inner rage.” But that rage is about to come out on her husband.

What she says to Abram displays the broken trust between husband and wife. “May the wrong done to me be on you!” Does this sound like a marital fight. Something that was one spouses idea, is now immediately the other spouse’s fault when it doesn’t go the way it was intended. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! You can imagine Abram’s comeback here: “I just did the thing you told me to do!” Broken trust in sin leads to the playing of the blame game

Following this broken trust, Sarai Drags God in to somehow bless her mess. After accusing Abram, she concludes by saying “May the Lord judge between you and me!” God’s sitting there going: “I don’t know why you’re dragging me into this argument. You BOTH got yourself in this pickle.” But how often do we go down some trail of sin, point to the sin of someone else and then ask God to bless our mess. Sometimes he says: “Hold on, you’re going to need to sit in this mess for a while and understand the consequences of your sin.”

And following like the tail end of a dog, we have Abram to shift the blame and say she’s not my servant, she’s yours. Do as you please with her. Nevermind, that Hagar is carrying his child.

Sarai then just turns this toward abuse of Hagar, from which Hagar flees for her life.

Everywhere we look at this point of the story, we see wreckage. A bitter wife. A confused husband. A thrown away slave. And now an unwanted child. And as Israel would have heard this story recounted to them in the life of Moses, they would have understood that the attraction of the Egypt and the Egyptian slave had now turned to bitterness in slavery to sin and sin’s consequences.

I am certain that each of us understand this, or have experienced this on a certain level: The snowball effect of sin and its consequences. Often, when I’m on the phone pastorally, exchanging emails, or sitting in the office visiting with one of you, it is because you are experiencing the compounded effects of either sin you’ve committed, or sin committed against you. Going your own way rather than God’s way isn’t the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. And yet, God is not done. We finally learn that in ...

Making our own Way … Will not derail God’s plans.

So, is everything off the rails? Is the plan abandoned? Is Hagar left alone, used and abused? Let’s look at the remaining chapter in verses 7-16: [Skip Reading for Time]

Genesis 16:7–16 ESV

7 The angel of the Lord found her by a spring of water in the wilderness, the spring on the way to Shur. 8 And he said, “Hagar, servant of Sarai, where have you come from and where are you going?” She said, “I am fleeing from my mistress Sarai.” 9 The angel of the Lord said to her, “Return to your mistress and submit to her.” 10 The angel of the Lord also said to her, “I will surely multiply your offspring so that they cannot be numbered for multitude.” 11 And the angel of the Lord said to her, “Behold, you are pregnant and shall bear a son. You shall call his name Ishmael, because the Lord has listened to your affliction. 12 He shall be a wild donkey of a man, his hand against everyone and everyone’s hand against him, and he shall dwell over against all his kinsmen.” 13 So she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, “You are a God of seeing,” for she said, “Truly here I have seen him who looks after me.” 14 Therefore the well was called Beer-lahai-roi; it lies between Kadesh and Bered. 15 And Hagar bore Abram a son, and Abram called the name of his son, whom Hagar bore, Ishmael. 16 Abram was eighty-six years old when Hagar bore Ishmael to Abram.

The most used and abused person in this whole situation is Hagar. She has been treated like a dog, like a breeding animal, like a pieces of human debris. You can imagine with God and all his blessing of Abram that he would be glad to see this woman leave, perhaps that this is HER punishment for all HER sin. And in your own life, there may have been points or there may now be points where you just go: “You know what, nobody wants me. Everyone hates me. Maybe the world is better off without me.” But if that has been you, I just want you to hear what God does to respond to Hagar:

First, God sees her. Verse 7 says that the “angel of the LORD found her by a spring of water.” She may have felt violated, rejected, very far from God. But he was not far from her. Psalm 139:7 “7 Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence?” To the rhetorical question, the answer is that there is nowhere we can flee where he does not see us.

Then we see that God speaks: The angel of the LORD who speaks with the voice of the LORD does not stay silent. He engages in conversation with her. Psalm 50:3 “3 Our God comes; he does not keep silence; before him is a devouring fire, around him a mighty tempest.” Our God is a God who speaks to those ready to listen. As Hagar heard the conversation, so we hear his word speak through the scriptures and the spirit now.

Then we see God open a way back. God’s command in verse 9: return to your mistress and submit to her. The abuse that she has experienced? God has seen it. He does not approve of it, and he will provide for Hagar’s care and provision as she carries and gives birth to Abram’s child. This is always true: Psalm 34:18 “18 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” If you are pressed, broken, crushed, God is not far from you. He is near, and the heart of his people is to serve you, not crush you.

Finally, we see glimpses of a theme that is constant in Genesis: That God will use things done out of ignorance, violent or sinful intent that his will would be accomplished, for his glory. This son, Ishmael that will be born? He will be a wild donkey of a man. But he will also receive a blessing as a son of Abram. He has a role to play in the story that God is telling. There will be more to say about this Ishmael and his descendants in a coming sermon. But what I simply want to note here is that even an Egyptian servant or an Egyptian nation will be used for God’s glory and God’s story. Even in the plagues, the pursuit of Israel and Egypt’s destruction in the Red Sea, God will still get His glory as they oppose Him.

Summary:

Friend, we can go our own way. And we do have this thing called free will: to choose to operate God’s way and our way. And do you know what we will do with that free will? We will use it to sin. We will doubt. We will try to go own own way, rather than going God’s way. And accordingly, like Abram, our lives, and at times the lives of our families or other around us bear the scars and wreckage of going our own way.

But there is a way that is better. His name is Jesus, and he is the one that told us that he is the way, the truth and the life. He showed us how only God made flesh could live a perfect life. And as he prayed in the garden, he fought the fight against the human will and the human flesh. He said that he would love to not go to that cross. But in Luke 22:42, he resolved himself to God with these words: “Not my will, but your be done.” Then he went to his captors. Received the spitting upon his face and the curses upon his ears. He took the thorns in his brow, the whips on his back and the nails in his limbs. HE GAVE HIMSELF TO THE WILL OF THE FATHER, so we might see the full will of the father and submit our lives to King Jesus, and walk back in the will of our God.

Friend, hear the voice of the savior. Matthew 7:21 “21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.” You want to know your status in the Kingdom of Heaven? He says: DO THE WILL OF THE FATHER. Come out of your sin. Your relational sin. Your hidden sin. Your violent sin. Your sexual sin. Your lying sin. Your gambling sin. Your substance abuse sin. Run from sin’s false promises. Repent and leave it behind. Walk in a new life. And if you are repenting, receiving Jesus as savior, we call you to confess that to Jesus and ask for prayer. We want to guide to the next step with Jesus.