How Should We Pray? Pt. 6
Back to the Basics • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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The Physical and Mental Dangers of Unforgiveness
According to John Hopkins Medicine, unforgiveness and chronic resentment negatively affect both your physical and mental health.
Alaska Behavioral Health says that holding onto anger, bitterness, or a grudge keeps your body in a continuous "fight-or-flight" stress response controlled by the sympathetic nervous system.
This ongoing activation leads to:
Cardiovascular Strain: Chronic exposure to stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline raises resting heart rate and blood pressure, increasing the long-term risk of heart disease and heart attacks.
Weakened Immune System: Persistent negative emotions reduce immune function, making it harder for the body to fight infections and manage inflammation.
Metabolic and Sleep Issues: Unforgiveness is linked to worse outcomes in diabetes, chronic pain, and sleep disorders such as insomnia and sleep apnea.
Digestive Distress: Stress and tension stemming from unresolved resentment can trigger or worsen acid reflux, ulcers, and irritable bowel syndrome (IBS).
We are continuing our Back to the Basics study and are on the fifth Sunday of The Lord’s Prayer.
I’m spending more time on prayer than on some other Christian basics because it is essential to our walk with Christ and fellowship with one another. Yet many of us know its importance but don’t treat it seriously enough.
Let’s take a moment to read The Lord’s Prayer together before we move on to today’s subpoints.
“Pray, then, in this way: ‘Our Father who is in heaven, Hallowed be Your name.
‘Your kingdom come. Your will be done, On earth as it is in heaven.
‘Give us this day our daily bread.
‘And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
‘And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.’
We began our study of The Lord’s Prayer by looking at verse 9, and we understand that when we pray, we should do so with Worship, recognizing the holiness of God!
In verse 10, we see that when we pray, we recognize the need for Submission to God’s will, not our own.
In verse 11, it is seen that prayer should be offered with a sense of Dependence. For it is God alone who provides for all our physical needs.
We have been in verse 12 for a couple of weeks.
However, when it comes to the Lord’s Prayer, I believe this verse, along with footnote verses 14-15, causes a lot of confusion if we do not understand it properly.
Let me read verses 12, 14, and 15 again for us.
‘And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
“For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
“But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.
As a reminder, we used the acronym SPAR to represent our four principles in these verses.
The “S” in SPAR stands for Sin; humanity has a sin problem that must be addressed.
Man has a Sin Problem
Man has a Sin Problem
We spent considerable time exploring the different meanings of Greek words, how they all point to sin, and how each of us is guilty of every one.
“P” stands for Provision.
God has provided a solution to your sin problem called Forgiveness.
The Provision of Forgiveness
The Provision of Forgiveness
We introduced two types of forgiveness: Eternal, or Judicial, Forgiveness and Familial, or Parental, Forgiveness.
If you will recall, the upper room where Jesus washed the disciples' feet was used to illustrate the two. Jesus said that Peter had already been bathed, meaning he was saved and judicially forgiven. However, the washing of feet needed to be done regularly.
This illustrates that as we go about our day, we pick up the dust of sin, and this needs to be forgiven as well. This process is done through confession.
Which brought us to the “A” in SPAR.
“A” which represents Appeal.
Appeal by Confession
Appeal by Confession
As believers, we must confess our sins so that we will receive Familia or Parental Forgiveness.
Through confessing sin, we can restore fellowship and joy in our relationship with God.
This is what David meant when he wrote “Restore to me the joy of Your salvation” in Psalm 51:12.
Requirement: Forgive Others
Requirement: Forgive Others
Verses 14 and 15 have caused all sorts of trouble for people, and today we want to leave here with a clear understanding of these verses.
I heard a story about a pastor who was with a family whose father had passed away.
The family was grieving because many of them had been estranged from their father, and they knew he had died with a lot of bitterness and unforgiveness in his heart.
When they asked the preacher whether they would see their father in heaven, he quickly replied, “No,” because he died without forgiving others.
Sadly, this preacher did not understand these verses, and that family, already grieving, certainly was not consoled or comforted.
Now, based on what we have studied over the past couple of weeks, you should already know how you would have answered this grieving family.
I purposely spent time spelling out sin and the two forms of forgiveness so that when we get to verses 14 and 15, we don’t get tripped up.
If the man was a believer, he is in heaven. He was judicially forgiven and made right with God through the blood of Jesus.
If he had unconfessed sin in his life, he would still be saved but would not be in fellowship with God, and therefore would not be experiencing the joy of salvation with Him.
That brings us to forgiving others… why would Jesus add this tag, if you will, to verse 12?
(Come back to this question) Why is forgiving others so important?
While there are multiple reasons, let’s explore three reasons why we should forgive others.
#1 We are commanded to forgive others.
Forgiveness is a Command
Forgiveness is a Command
Inevitably, when I am studying a subject to teach on Sunday, the Lord provides me with an opportunity to practice what I preach.
Earlier in the week, a situation arose, and my first response was to hold a grudge and not offer forgiveness to this person I felt had done me wrong.
Then I was reminded of the Potato Sack illustration.
Imagine starting your week by taking a clear plastic bag and a heavy sack of potatoes.
Every time someone hurts you, insults you, or breaks your trust—and you choose to hold on to the offense—you take a potato.
You write the person's name, the date, and the wrong on it, and drop it into the bag.
At first, the bag is light. By week two, it drags on your arm.
Within a year, you are hauling a massive, rotting, foul-smelling load of potatoes everywhere you go.
You carry that bag to work, set it on the seat next to you in the car, bring it to the dinner table, and drag it into your bedroom at night while you try to sleep.
Meanwhile, the person who hurt you is going about their life, completely unaware of the heavy burden you are hauling on their behalf.
What’s the solution?
Forgiveness!
Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”
Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.
The Rabbinic law at the time stated that if a person wronged you, you were obligated to forgive them 3 times, but after that, you no longer had to forgive them.
Peter comes to Jesus, asking, and of course he knew the Rabbinic laws, but feeling extra gracious, he suggests to Jesus twice the amount plus one of what the Rabbinic law stated.
Jesus answers by stating, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.”
In other words, we are to forgive an unlimited number of times.
“Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.
“And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.”
Forgiving can be hard and even difficult at times, but it is necessary if we are to have fellowship with Christ.
“If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.
Let me clarify one thing.
Forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thing.
We can forgive someone for an offense, but this does not mean we will be best friends again immediately, if ever.
Forgiveness is a command, and if we do not forgive, WE ARE IN SIN, which breaks fellowship with Christ.
#1 We are commanded to forgive others.
I think most of us understand the concept that we are to forgive, but by nature, we sometimes get the idea or believe that there is somehow an exception to this rule.
Certainly, there are those we should not forgive.
After all, some people just don’t deserve to be forgiven, right?
#2 We forgive because God forgave us.
Forgive Because God Forgives
Forgive Because God Forgives
Let’s go back to Matthew 18, where Peter and Jesus have their discussion about forgiveness, and let’s keep reading.
“For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves.
“When he had begun to settle them, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him.
“But since he did not have the means to repay, his lord commanded him to be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment to be made.
“So the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.’
“And the lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt.
This guy who owes this impossible debt?
That is you and me… God is the King in this story… You and I built up a sin debt that was impossible to pay… so God, through Jesus, forgave us that debt.
That’s why I love Romans 5:8 so much. “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”
What an incredible forgiving and loving God we have…
But let’s finish the parable in Matthew 18…
“But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and he seized him and began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay back what you owe.’
“So his fellow slave fell to the ground and began to plead with him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you.’
“But he was unwilling and went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed.
“So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their lord all that had happened.
“Then summoning him, his lord said to him, ‘You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.
‘Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way that I had mercy on you?’
“And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him.
“My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.”
To not forgive others is not only disobedience to our Savior's command to forgive others, but it is also hypocritical.
We have been forgiven a sin debt that would have sent us to hell, and yet we are not willing to forgive others for offenses done to us?
Let that never be so… my friends, forgiveness is essential to our walk with Jesus!
#1 We are commanded to forgive others.
#2 We forgive because God forgave us.
Since we are talking about prayer, it seems only appropriate to point out that unforgiveness hinders prayer.
#3 Unforgiveness Hinders Prayer
Unforgiveness Hinders Prayer
Unforgiveness Hinders Prayer
“Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions.
Unforgiveness toward others will prevent an effective prayer life.
You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.
While this verse addresses the husband-wife relationship, the chapter's broader context concerns conflict and disunity.
When we are in conflict or in a state of unforgiveness, our prayers are hindered.
James tells us in James 5:16, that “the effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.” However, you cannot be righteous before God if you harbor unforgiveness in your soul or toward others. If you do not forgive, you are in sin!
I asked earlier, “Why is forgiving others so important?”
While, from a practical standpoint, forgiveness can improve health.
We forgive because we are commanded to do so.
We forgive because God first forgave us.
Lastly, within the premise of prayer, we forgive because we want our prayers to be effective.
Do you feel your prayers are not being answered?
Do you feel your prayers are somehow hindered?
The answer may be that you have unforgiveness in your heart that needs to be addressed before God will listen to what you have to say to him.
Let’s Pray.
