Son, Can We Talk?

Son, Can We Talk?

Introduction:

Communication is absolutely vital to human existence. God desires for us to communicate with each other in a way that will solve problems, build relationships, and bring glory to Him.

What is Healthy Communication?:

• Healthy communication is the sharing of meaning. One person sends a certain message and the other understands that message. It goes beyond just talking and listening.

Communication experts point out that when you talk with another person, there are six messages that can come through.

1.What you mean to say. 2. What you actually say. 3. What the other person hears. 4. What the other person thinks they hear. 5.What the other person says about what you said. 6.What you think the other person said about what you said.

What you mean to say. What you actually say. What the other person hears. What the other person thinks they hear. What the other person says about what you said. What you think the other person said about what you said.

In our text, we see: The family unit - Prodigal son, the father, and the older brother. The family mess - Once the prodigal son returns home, the older brother became the real issue and created mess.

o He was selfish - His entire conversation was all about “me, myself and I.” o He was stubborn - He refused to come in the house when his younger brother came

home. o He was self-righteous - He talked about how good he’d been. He was arrogant.

o He was scornful - He was angry; he even labeled his younger brother, “your son.”

How Did The Father Deal With All This Mess?

I. There Must Be Face To Face Contact - , “But he was angry and would not go in; therefore, the father CAME OUT and begged him.” There is a real celebration going on. One of the servants explains to the older brother what is taking place. The servant gives an accurate summation: celebration and a fatted calf for a returned brother who is safe and sound. Enraged, the elder brother does not go in to join the festivities

There is a real celebration going on. One of the servants explains to the older brother what is taking place. The servant gives an accurate summation: celebration and a fatted calf for a returned brother who is safe and sound.

Enraged, the elder brother does not go in to join the festivities

Darrell L. Bock, Luke, The IVP New Testament Commentary Series (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1994), .

The text also warns us through the older brother that activity for God by itself or proximity to him is not the same as knowing him through a relationship grounded in a conscious, humble turning to him.

The NIV Application Commentary: Luke Bridging Contexts

The text also warns us through the older brother that activity for God by itself or proximity to him is not the same as knowing him through a relationship grounded in a conscious, humble turning to him. The older brother sees God more as a taskmaster who uses his services rather than as a gracious Father. When we come to God on the basis of his grace, humbly recognizing our need for him rather than trying to earn his favor, we find the arms of God ready to welcome us in celebration. We risk missing the joy of relationship with God when we turn him into a scorekeeper.5

5 For a development of the practical side of a grace walk with God, see Charles Swindoll, The Grace Awakening (Dallas: Word, 1990).

Darrell L. Bock, Luke, The NIV Application Commentary (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 1996), 415.

Darrell L. Bock, Luke, The NIV Application Commentary (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 1996), 415.

In its original setting the parable clearly has the Pharisees in view in the older brother. They stand close to God, at least in an apparent way, and appear to have an inside track to his blessing. Everything God has in terms of promise is available to them, for “everything I have is yours.” Yet they are really on the outside, for they never choose to embrace it by acknowledging God’s goodness in terms of the forgiveness Jesus offers to all. The picture of the older brother still has value today in depicting how those who perceive themselves as close to God should respond to the lost.

The older brother has been around the father but does not really know him well.

Darrell L. Bock, Luke, The NIV Application Commentary (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 1996), 415.

in; therefore, the father CAME OUT and begged him.”

Darrell L. Bock, Luke, The NIV Application Commentary (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 1996), 414.

Sometimes we don’t get through drama because we never confront the problem.

You will never fix what you’re too afraid to face.

• We often contact people who have nothing to do with the problem. • We will often have to step out our comfort zones. The father left the party and came out to face his son.

out to face his son.

I. There Must Be Face To Face Contact

II. There Must Be Clear Communication - , “The father came out and BEGGED him.” The older brother has been around the father but does not really know him well. In its original setting the parable clearly has the Pharisees in view in the older brother. They stand close to God, at least in an apparent way, and appear to have an inside track to his blessing. Everything God has in terms of promise is available to them, for “everything I have is yours.” Yet they are really on the outside, for they never choose to embrace it by acknowledging God’s goodness in terms of the forgiveness Jesus offers to all. The picture of the older brother still has value today in depicting how those who perceive themselves as close to God should respond to the lost.

A. In order to deal with some conflicts, you’re going to have to plead through communication.

B. How bad do you want it?

I. There Must Be Face To Face Contact

II. There Must Be Clear Communication

III. There Must Be Careful Contemplation

The older brother sees God more as a taskmaster who uses his services rather than as a gracious Father. When we come to God on the basis of his grace, humbly recognizing our need for him rather than trying to earn his favor, we find the arms of God ready to welcome us in celebration. We risk missing the joy of relationship with God when we turn him into a scorekeeper.5

The father’s compassion does not cease. He comes out to the angry brother and tries to calm him down. The elder brother pleads his faithfulness despite the lack of celebration for him at any time in the past. Not even a “kid” has been butchered for him. (The contrast he draws is as if steak were now served for the returning son while a fast-food meal has never been served for him.) The elder makes a serious complaint—“I am worthy,” he pleads; “you are ungrateful. This is unfair!” What parent has not heard such a complaint from one child about another? The elder’s problem is his self-righteous, self-directed focus. There is no joy that his brother has come home. The elder is too self-consumed with issues of justice and equity to be caught up in the joy.

Darrell L. Bock, Luke, The IVP New Testament Commentary Series (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1994), .

The contemplation in the text is revealed from the father. Even though the older brother was talking crazy, the father never interrupted him.

talking crazy, the father never interrupted him.

Why do you always have to have the last word?

I. There Must Be Face To Face Contact

II. There Must Be Clear Communication

III. There Must Be Careful Contemplation

IV. There Must Be Authentic Compliments - NLT, “His father said to him, “Look dear son.”

The father has a ready reply aimed toward reconciliation between the brothers. He accepts his elder son and acknowledges that all the father has belongs to him. There is no reason for jealousy. In a sense the elder son has always had access to celebration: the animals are his! But there is one other fact. The father says, “We had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.” Note the reminder that the returning son is a brother. Justice means that the son should be received back with joy and celebration. The focus should be outward, on the transformation that has occurred. The sinner should be welcomed back into God’s family with joy.

Darrell L. Bock, Luke, The IVP New Testament Commentary Series (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1994), .

A. We need to get in the habit of saying more NICE things than NEGATIVE things.

B. “You catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar.”

V. There Must Be Proper Correcting

First, repentance means an absolute reversal of status. The lost son has become a family member again. The father’s acceptance of the penitent son is total. This is God’s grace. This is why God pursues sinners. Second, others should have joy when the penitent returns. Reconciliation involves not only God and the individual but also the individual and the community.

Darrell L. Bock, Luke, The IVP New Testament Commentary Series (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1994), .

Darrell L. Bock, Luke, The IVP New Testament Commentary Series (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1994), .

Darrell L. Bock, Luke, The IVP New Testament Commentary Series (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1994), .

The father never hit him or cursed him, but he took the time to explain to him why they did what they did.

what they did.

Some issues are a matter of misunderstanding, and clarity needs to be made.

The IVP New Testament Commentary Series: Luke Parable of the Forgiving Father (15:11–32)

The story is left hanging. The elder brother is left to contemplate the father’s words. We do not know if he comes in to celebrate or not. In literary terms, this is an open ending. What will he do? Jesus’ listeners are to contemplate their own response as well. The parable is truly a story of reversal. It is hope of such a reversal that causes Jesus to seek the sinner. The potential of God’s grace drives him to love others and actively pursue them.

In conclusion, the story is left hanging. The elder brother is left to contemplate the father’s words. We do not know if he comes in to celebrate or not. In literary terms, this is an open ending. What will he do? Jesus’ listeners are to contemplate their own response as well. The parable is truly a story of reversal. It is hope of such a reversal that causes Jesus to seek the sinner. The potential of God’s grace drives him to love others and actively pursue them.

Amazing grace! how sweet the sound,

That saved a wretch like me!

I once was lost, but now am found,

Was blind, but now I see.

2 ‘Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,

And grace my fears relieved;

How precious did that grace appear

The hour I first believed!

3 Thro’ many dangers, toils, and snares,

I have already come;

’Tis grace hath bro’t me safe this far,

And grace will lead me home.

4 The Lord has promised good to me,

His Word my hope secures;

He will my shield and portion be

As long as life endures.

5 When we’ve been there ten thousand years,

Bright shining as the sun,

We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise

Than when we’d first begun.

Logos Hymnal, 1st edition. (Oak Harbor, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc., 1995).