Christ is Our Home

The overriding principle throughout this passage of scripture is the lordship of Jesus Christ which transforms our relationships. For those living in the early church this was a 7 day a week commitment, whether at work, or at home.

Paul approaches the idea of discipleship as a complete dependence on God in every area of Human Relationship.

3 PARTNERSHIPS

3:18-19 Wives and Husbands

3:20-21 Children and Fathers

3:22-4:1 Slaves and Masters

Something is radically wrong with homes today.

In an interesting survey, LifeWay researchers solicited responses as to the “Top 10 Issues Facing Today’s Family.” More than 2,000 people from around the country were part of this project. What are these top 10 issues facing today’s family? Here are the results:

Anti-Christian culture

DivorceBusynessAbsent father figureLack of disciplineFinancial pressuresLack of communicationNegative media influencesBalance of work and familyMaterialism

Divorce

Busyness

Absent father figure

Lack of discipline

Financial pressures

Lack of communication

Negative media influences

Balance of work and family

Materialism

Clearly, it is not for lack of good intentions that Christian marriages fail. Nor is it lack of Christian resources. These are aplenty. What is lacking is the right kind of resources, plus the recognition that marriage and family are at the heart a divine institution that is the target of intense spiritual warfare.

The first institution that God founded on earth was the home. As goes the home, so goes society and the nation. The breakdown of the home is a sign of the end times.

2 Timothy 3:1–5 ESV

But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.

ONE OF THE GREATEST THINGS WE CAN DO AS INDIVIDUALS IS HELP TO BUILD GODLY CHRISTIAN HOMES.

CHRISTIAN VIEW OF MARRIAGE

Marriage is not simply a matter of the physical or practical arrangements in a man and woman’s relationship, but it is governed by Christ as Lord over our lives.

FIRSTLY: Order of life’s priories, which should be (1) to one’s spouse in the husband and wife relationship, (2) to one’s children in the parent and child relationship, and (3) to one’s job in the employer and employee relationship. This is God’s oder of priority and it should be ours. Tragedy results when we change the order.

SECONDLY: Speaks of the principle of headship. The husband and wife relationship goes back to the book of Genesis. Woman was mad from man and for man to be his companion and perfect complement: ‘The Lord God said, “it is not good for many to be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him”’(). This does not indicate inferiority of women. Paul speaks here of identity of roles and functions within the marriage relationship. The wife must be a wife and the husband must be a husband. (Look at )

“Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord,” “Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church.” It all goes back to the submission of God as Lord over your life including relationships.

THIS IS A WEIGHTY PROPOSITION: This is why at weddings you will hear the pastor say that marriage should not be entered into lightly but with great respect and careful consideration.

THIRDLY: When it comes to Christian living, Paul tells us that submission is the controlling factor for wives and love is the controlling factor for husbands. Neither partner should be domineering within the married relationship.

RELATIONSHIPS IN THE HOME

WIVES and their Role

(v. 18)

The submission given here is not that of a slave, as both men and women are equal partners in Salvation. ()

Galatians 3:28 ESV

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

The submission here suggests a yielding and subjecting of the woman’s will to her husband in her role as a godly wife. It does not imply inferiority. “The two shall become one flesh.”

Submission is part of a woman’s fulfilling her God ordained role.

1 Peter 3:1–6 ESV

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

Opening Up Colossians and Philemon Wives and Their Role (v. 18)

When thinking about this role perhaps the illustration of a football team will help. A football team needs a captain. Not all players are captains, but all have skills and abilities essential to the team’s success. Nevertheless, they need to submit to the captain for the purpose of the game. When they do so, the best results will be achieved. So with wives in the marriage relationship: when they fulfil their God-ordained role, a successful marriage is more likely.

Submission is part of a believing woman’s duty to Christ.

So the woman submits primarily for Christ’s sake. Christ for the purpose of Salvation submits to the Fathers will; however, he is still co-qual and co-eternal with the Father in the Godhead of Father, Son and Holy Spirit. There is no inferiority here because each person in the Trinity has his role in the plan of redemption.

Men an woman are co-equal and joint heirs with Christ, having their own roles. The submission that the wife gives to her husband does not mean being forced to do anything contrary to scripture.

HUSBANDS and their Role

v. 19

Husbands love your wives and do not be harsh (bitter) with them.

It is the Husbands duty to love his wife and put her interests in front of his own.

Ephesians 5:25–29 ESV

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,

This love goes beyond just a natural affection. A husband is to love only his wife. There must be no other woman or person substituted in her place. She alone is to be his bride and his lover. NO other person is to take her place, not even:

HIS OWN FATHER OR MOTHER, “He is to leave his own father and mother and be joined to his wife’. The Hebrew word fro joined means ‘to glue’! In-laws and money are the two most common sources of trouble in marriage.

HIS CHILDREN, a man’s wife must have first place in his heart (). When a marriage is in trouble couples often stay together for the children’s sake - good! When a marriage is shaky, more time and love must be expended by husband and wife on each other.

HIS BEST FRIEND, a this will damage a marriage. A man’s wife must be his best friend, and vice versa. Husbands must not neglect their wives to spend time with their mates. (t.v. display’s a bad image of this). I am not of course saying that married men cannot have friends and vice versa. The best practice is to do things together as a couple.

ANOTHER WOMAN, as this will destroy a marriage. This principle of husbands loving only their wives is especially true when it comes to other women. Adultery is forbidden in scriptures, but marriage love is praised and must be practiced. A man who looks at a woman with lust in his eyes has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Matthew 5:28 ESV

But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Wives are given to be loved, protected and cared for. (story of couples that have engaged in porn)

Husbands are always to love their wives.

there are emotional as well as physical differences between the sexes; we read that the woman is the weaker vessel.

1 Peter 3:7 ESV

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

A man’s wife should be handled with the utmost care and respect. She is to be handled as his most prized and precious possession. A man should never beat or injure his wife; if he does, he is guilty of breaking his marriage vows which committed him to protecting her.

CALL TO NOT BE BITTER OR HARSH WITH OUR WIVES:

Bitterness is a strong emotion that results in coldness, rudeness and harshness. It is sharp, resentful, and can lead to brutality. Bitterness is a root of evil that produces bitter fruit and grieves the Holy Spirit. .

Husbands are always to exercise affection to their wives. ()

The husband is responsible for the quality and quantity love in his home, so if love is lacking, he is responsible.

There must be no self-seeking on the husband’s part

if husbands exercised these graces, marriages would be stronger and sweeter.

Husbands are always to ask if his love for his wife looks like Christ’s love for the church.

Husbands must realize that their wife is now part of himself. The two shall become one flesh. Husbands must treat their wives as they would treat themselves and love them as Christ does.

If a Husband mis-treats his wife he must answer to Christ.

Opening Up Colossians and Philemon Husbands and Their Role (v. 19)

The Puritan writer Matthew Henry had the right idea when he wrote:

‘Eve was not made out of Adam’s head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected and near his heart to be loved’.

Husbands are to love their wives even when they do not feel like it. They must look after them properly and live with them happily (1 Cor. 7:3–5; 1 Peter 3:7).

CHILDREN AND THEIR FATHERS (3:20-21)

The bibles definition of family goes all the way back to the beginning in Genesis when God gave Adam a wife whom he called Eve and told them to ‘be fruitful and multiply’ ().

Children are to obey their parents in all things

Exodus 20:12 ESV

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

Exodus 12:12 ESV

For I will pass through the land of Egypt that night, and I will strike all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, both man and beast; and on all the gods of Egypt I will execute judgments: I am the Lord.

CHILDREN

Children must be instructed in what is right and what is wrong as taught in the bible. The fifth commandment requires that children are to be under the training and admonition of the Lord while they live in the parental home.

Matthew 15:4–9 ESV

For God commanded, ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’ But you say, ‘If anyone tells his father or his mother, “What you would have gained from me is given to God,” he need not honor his father.’ So for the sake of your tradition you have made void the word of God. You hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy of you, when he said: “ ‘This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me; in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’ ”

Matthew

Children need Holy instruction in the things of God and Christ.

They must be taught to fear God along with respect for their parents. Disobedience is a mark of sinfulness.

Romans 1:30 ESV

slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents,

Romans 1:31 ESV

foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless.

Submission of Children to their parents is expected.

FATHERS

It is the fathers role to help his children obey him ‘in all things’ (v.20).

How?

Fathers must develop a loving and trusting relationship with his sons and daughters.

Fathers if they respect you they will follow your lead and learn from your godly example. If a father is unjust and severe he will provoke his children to bitterness, which will produce discouragement that could lead to permanent enmity.

Understanding and mercy are important factors in child rearing so unreasonable demands and overbearing attitudes are to be avoided.

Fathers must assure his children that they are loved, accepted and valued for themselves and not what they might become.

The saddest but all too often response from children is that they have never heard their dad verbalize his love for them.

RELATIONSHIPS OUTSIDE OF THE HOME

SERVANTS (v. 22-25)

The scriptures do not give slavery the stamp of divine approval. In Genesis God ordains and approves marriage, the family, the Sabbath, and human government, and he made all men free and equal in the eyes of the Lord.

He did not create a slave or hint at slavery as an acceptable practice. In Paul’s day the laws of Rome allowed slavery, but in Old Testament times slaves were not so oppressed and did acquire various rights’ such as to own property and conduct business. Hebrew slaves were treated under a somewhat complicated set of biblical rules, one of which commanded that they be kept in bondage for a maximum of six years only, in order to pay off the debts they owed.

BONDSERVANTS OBEY IN ALL THINGS YOUR MASTERS… not with eyeservice, as menpleasers, but in sincerity of heart, fearing God.

Christians work is in direct submission to God

We do not work out of simply duty, self-preservation or self-interest...

FEAR OF GOD (VV.22,25)

This is not a repressive idea but goes back to complete dependence and submission to God. The Fear of God takes into account that God is almighty and that men are answerable to him at the day of judgement for all that they have done or said.

2 Corinthians 5:10–11 ESV

For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil. Therefore, knowing the fear of the Lord, we persuade others. But what we are is known to God, and I hope it is known also to your conscience.

The bible teaches obedience in matters of pleasant and unpleasant.

REWARDS (V. 24)

Let there be no jobs half finished, no shoddy workmanship or work of poor quality. Slaves were not rewarded as a rule, but were called to do their duty. Here, however, Paul reminds the believers that there are rewards to come for the good and faithful servants.

We do not work for our employer but for the Lord Jesus Christ.

Understanding this one principle keeps us from thinking we work for the man and builds a healthier attitude to work and allows us to do the unpleasant tasks with patience.

MASTERS (4:1)

Christian Employers and Managers should manage differently than the rest of the world. Employers are to give their servants (employees) what is just and fair, for they have a heavenly master too! Employees are not to be underpaid but treated with respect, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven’.

Ephesians 6:9 ESV

Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.

A good example of this would be the issue of asking your employees to work on Sundays when God wants them to treat it as a day of rest. They should be free to take the day of rest and honor the Lords Sabbath. They need this time with their children to instruct them in the way of Christ.

Illustration: Israel Sabbath remembrance. (Chick fi la closed on Sunday)