Sermon Tone Analysis

The Blame Game

If I told you that the person sitting next to you has a deadly weapon on them, how would you feel?

What if I told you that you carry a deadly weapon with you everywhere you go?

Before I talk about that deadly weapon, I want to ask you a few questions.

The weapon

What is this weapon?

It is the ability to send a message of condemnation or blame to another person.

How is this done?

By words, physical force, facial expressions, or even silence.

This weapon isn’t only used for offense, it is used for defense.

Others

Have you ever done something that some people in your life will never let you live down?

They keep bringing it up over and over again.

Perhaps they are telling you that you are a failure or an embarrassment to them, or that you are worthless and have no right to feel good about who you are.

The reality is that all of us are easy targets for blame.

Nobody measures up to God’s standards, their own standards, or our cultural standards.

Because of this life is so hard and difficult…we get blamed for other people’s problems and are judged for our own faults and mistakes.

Many of us have received condemnation and blame ever since we were small children.

When we fall in front of our peers, they punish us.

Perhaps by rejecting us, speaking words that dig at us and sometimes these words stick to us.

Many times people fear the same condemnation and blame that they give out, so they find a way to keep it from themselves by going after someone else who is an “easier” target.

Many times people are just passing on the same blame and condemnation that they have received from others.

This cycle of passing it on cannot be broken unless something radical and life-changing happens to them.

Ourselves

Though blame and condemnation come from others, this is not the only source.

Many times it comes from us.

From us to us.

When we make a mistake we wonder what is wrong and we look for who we an blame.

When we can’t find an answer, we see that the problem is found in who we are and what we have done.

This self-condemnation is a severe form of punishment.

Many people punish themselves in hopes that God won’t have to punish them.

The great the guilt, the longer and deeper the self-condemnation.

So what was this weapon that I spoke of earlier?

The weapon

It is the ability to send a message of condemnation or blame to another person.

How is this done?

By words, physical force, facial expressions, or even silence.

This weapon isn’t only used for offense, it is used for defense.

If this is the weapon, then what is the message that is being sent?

The message

“I’ll make you sorry for what you did!”

Why do we use this weapon and send this message?

Why do we believe that we have to punish those who fail? Quite simply because of lie #3.

Lie #3: Those who fail are unworthy of love and deserve to be punished

But on a deeper level, as Christians, might this be because we think that if we don’t reject them condemn them, or treat them rudely, that they might think we are approving of what they did or are doing?

But how do I know if I have bought into this lie?

A test of the fear of punishment

I fear what God might do to me - just waiting for God to get even.

God is fed up with us, we don’t know why he hasn’t got us yet.

Fearful that the shoe is going to drop.

When I fail, I worry about what God thinks of me - we should remember that his response will always be out of love.

He has already poured out his wrath on our sin.

When I see someone else suffering, I wonder what they did to deserve it.

When something goes wrong, I catch myself thinking that God must be punishing me for something I have done - often things happen for our own good, not out of punishment.

often things happen for our own good.

I am very hard on myself when I fail - we walk around with a grid inside of us.

We will punish ourselves when we fail so we won’t fail again.

Like an electric shock dog collar.

We shock ourselves.

I catch myself wanting to blame people when they fail - some people aren’t aware of God’s love, so they are always looking for someone to blame.

I get angry with God when someone who is bad gets rewarded with success - why do we look at others and how they are getting along as if it relates to us.

When I see someone doing something wrong, I have to tell them what I think of them - common in the church.

We have to say it.

Always a group that has to tell people when they are wrong.

Usually people already know when they are wrong.

I tend to focus on the faults and failures of others - thinking about them continuously.

God seems harsh and judgmental to me - believe that God is a harsh God.

What are the effects of fear and failure

We punish ourselves with the same process we pushing others - if someone feels like they have to condemn and punish you…at some point they will have to be with themselves, they punish themselves on the same basis that they punish you.

We try to control our own behavior in this manner - Sometimes we condemn ourselves and hurt ourselves so we won’t fail again.

It doesn’t help, it just increases the likelihood we will do it again.

We have a system in our mind for determining how much punishment we should receive - have an idea that they should punish themselves a certain duration depending on how important the failure

We believe that it is God who is condemning us when it is Satan () - Satan is the accuser.

Passivity - we don’t do anything.

If you condemn everyone who fails, people find a solution, don’t do anything, if you don’t do anything you won’t fail.

Fears of all sorts - fear of punishment brings fear into our lives.

Fear finds other variations of that fear.

Multiply across a whole array of our life

There is only one way to deal with this, the fear has to be cast out.

There is only one way to cast out fear: love.

Can’t we just accept ourselves?

Many psychologists tell us to simply stop blaming ourselves and simply accept ourselves in spite of our imperfections.

The problem with this is that method doesn’t work.

We know when we fail and we simply can’t help ourselves.

We don’t measure up to other people’s standards or our own.

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.

For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

(ESV)

Also, since we know that God’s standards are so high, we can’t imagine anything else but condemnation and blame from God.

But there is a solution...

The problem

The reality is that God is holy.

He is perfect in every way.

God is the standard for right and wrong.

Since God is holy, he must punish those who sin.

The reality is that we feel this deep in our souls.

So, we all know that we are facing God’s punishment.

In fact, all mankind is facing God’s punishment

But is this fair?

How could a good God punish everyone who doesn’t meet his standard when they can’t even help it.