Kingdom Living for the Family.Boundaries

Kingdom Living for the Family

Pastor E. Keith Hassell

“Boundaries”

Foundation Scripture:  Proverbs 4:23 (NKJV) “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.”

I.              Marriage survival depends upon boundaries

A.               Infidelity is a major cause for divorce

B.                The problem is getting worse

C.               Our culture is reinforcing this behavior

D.               Boundaries have become obscured

E.                People have little discernment

II.           What is your attitude toward boundaries? (Illustration)

A.               Positive or negative?

B.                Good or bad?

C.               Freedom or bondage?

D.               The Tree of the knowledge of good and evil

E.                Your attitude toward boundaries before marriage affects your attitude toward boundaries in the marriage

III.        The Purpose of Boundaries

A.               They define our freedom

B.                They protect us from consequences

IV.       The Garden of Marriage

A.               Illustration:  Focus on Your Spouse

B.                Illustration:  Riding the Fence

V.          Temptation: Riding the Fence

A.               Lust of the flesh

1.          Feelings of  “I need”

B.                Lust of the eyes

1.          Feelings of “I want”

C.               Pride of life

1.          Feelings of “I am” and “I know”

a               “I am okay”

b              “I know what I’m doing!”

VI.       Crossing Boundaries

A.               Daydreaming

1.          What would my life be like with them?

B.                Fantasizing:  Adultery in the heart

1.          Thinking intimate thoughts about someone other than your spouse

2.          Pornography

3.          Obsession with romance novels, soap operas and movies

C.               Lurking: To secretly desire and seek out opportunity

1.          Job 31:9 (NKJV) “If my heart has been enticed by a woman, or if I have lurked at my neighbor’s door,”

2.          Job 38:39-40 (NKJV) “Can you hunt the prey for the lion, or satisfy the appetite of the young lions, 40 When they crouch in their dens, or lurk in their lairs to lie in wait?”

3.          Proverbs 7:12 (NKJV) “At times she was outside, at times in the open square, lurking at every corner.”

D.               Seduction: To persuade or influence toward disloyalty or disobedience

1.          Flirting: Playing at love

2.          Flattering: Gaining attention and favor by generously expressing untrue or insincere praise

3.          Flaunting: Shamelessly parading or displaying yourself

a               Sensuality: Appealing to a person’s five physical senses

b              Lewdness: Exciting lustful or sexual desire in others

c               Lasciviousness: Expressing lustful desire toward others

E.                Adultery

VII.    Restoring Boundaries: Fixing the Fence (Illustration)

A.               Confess trespasses

B.                Break agreement

C.               Secure boundaries

D.               Flee temptation

E.                Cut support lines

1.          Romans 13:14 (NKJV) “But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.”

F.                Establish accountability

VIII. Marriage within the Boundaries

A.               Look within your boundaries

B.                Live within your boundaries

C.               Love within your boundaries