Kingdom Living for the Family.Parenting

Kingdom Living for the Family

Pastor E. Keith Hassell

“Parenting”

Foundation Scripture:  Ephesians 6:4

I.              Parenting is a father’s and mother’s highest calling

A.               Children are the evidence of this calling

B.                Children are our future

C.               The quality of our future will be determined by the quality of our children

D.               Parents still have the greatest influence on their child’s life

1.          Teachers, friends, and church leaders do not compare

II.           What is wrong with children today?

A.               In most cases, the problem with children is their parents.

B.                Children are the products of the homes that produced them.

III.        Six types of Parents

A.               No 1:  The Permissive Parent

1.          “Johnny must be allowed to do as he pleases so that he can develop his own personality.”

2.          “We don’t like Johnny to stay out all night or to keep snakes in his bedroom, but if we say anything it just starts an argument.”

3.          “We don’t make Johnny go to church. After all, we want him to develop his own set of convictions.”

4.          Gardens left to themselves are overtaken by weeds.

5.          Example: Eli and his sons

B.                No 2:  The Pre-occupied parent

1.          “We are too busy too busy. We will trust God that Johnny will turn out okay.”

2.          “Because we are ministering to other families and their children, God will make sure that Johnny will turn out okay.”

C.               No. 3:  The Providing Parent

1.          “We had it rough when we were young. We want our kids to have better.”

2.          “We want our kids to have the things other kids have.”

3.          “We don’t mind both working to provide what our kids need.”

4.          Where do these children spend their time? Who knows? The parents are at work.

5.          What about parental guidance and spiritual training?

6.          Sorry, too much overtime this week!

D.               No 4:  The Protecting Parent

1.          “We don’t want our children eating sugar and fast food.”

2.          “We must protect our children from every threat.”

3.          Suzy may be a screaming monster and Johnny a terror to society, but their teacher, preacher, or policeman had better not suggest that they are less than perfect!

4.          It’s the other kids who cause the trouble.

5.          These parents shelter their children with alibis, threats, bribes, and bail while their children continue on the road toward destruction.

E.                No 5:  The Paranoid Parent

1.          “I don’t want little Johnny to think I’m a bad parent.”

2.          “I don’t want others to think I am a bad parent.”

3.          “I would rather do nothing than to do something wrong.”

F.                No 6:  The Proper Parent

1.          These parents are rare

2.          They take parenting seriously

3.          They teach and train their children

4.          These parents discipline their children in love

5.          They insist on good conduct

6.          They reinforce respect for authority

7.          They set an example for their children to follow

IV.       Where do we learn parenting skills?

A.               From our parents

B.                From other people

C.               From the Bible

V.          What is training and admonition?

A.               Training means to guide and develop

B.                Admonition means to exhort—to stir up and encourage action

VI.       The training of the Lord

A.               No 1:  Teach them the Bible

1.          Life is a classroom of learning

2.          Apply God’s truth in everyday life

3.          Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (NKJV) “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.”

B.                No 2:  Teach them about God’s salvation

1.          Bring them to a saving knowledge of Jesus

C.               No 3:  Teach them to respect

1.          Authority

2.          Property

3.          Life

D.               No 4:  Teach them the rules

1.          Make the rules age appropriate

2.          Continue to review the rules

E.                No 5:  Teach them to obey

F.                No 6:  Teach them by example

VII.    The admonition of the Lord (stir up and encourage action)

A.               No 1:  Praise

1.          Catch them doing something right

B.                No 2:  Reward

1.          Teach them the benefit of doing what is right

C.               No 3:  Correction

1.          Address disobedience

2.          Re-establish the rule

3.          Bring them back in order

D.               No 4:  Discipline (punishment)

1.          Discipline involves training the will of a child

2.          Discipline does not break the spirit of the child

3.          Proverbs 13:24 (NKJV) “He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly.”

4.          Proverbs 19:18 (NKJV) “Chasten your son while there is hope, and do not set your heart on his destruction.”

5.          Proverbs 22:15 (NKJV) “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him.”

6.          Proverbs 23:13-14 (NKJV) ‘Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod, and deliver his soul from hell.”

7.          Proverbs 29:15 (NKJV) “The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.”

E.                No. 5:  Prophetic prayer

1.          Pray prophetic declarations of faith and destiny over their life in their hearing

VIII. Ten Guidelines for discipline

A.               No 1:  Restate the rule

1.          Make sure they understand why they are in trouble

2.          Ask them to tell you why they are being disciplined

3.          Don’t confuse them by laughing at their disobedience and disrespect one moment and then punishing them the next minute.

B.                No 2:  Appeal to their conscience

1.          Addressing behavior alone makes it a issue of who’s in control

2.          Ask them what God might think about their behavior

3.          Conscience stands before the highest court in heaven

C.               No 3:  Remind them of God’s purpose for discipline

1.          God loves us too much to let us get away with wrong

D.               No 4:  Keep your word

1.          Idle threats reinforce disobedience

2.          Do not negotiate the conditions of punishment

3.          Teach them to obey the first time (Giving them three chances teaches them to disobey twice)

E.                No 5:  Never discipline in anger

1.          Do not provoke your children to wrath

2.          Anger sows division between you and the child rather than reconciliation.

F.                No 6:  Use a designated paddle

1.          Hands should be for showing love

2.          Apply the “Board of Correction” on the “Seat of Learning”

3.          Only spank children on the rear

4.          Do not abuse them. Abuse is physically damaging a child. Abuse is against the law.

G.               No 7:  Recognize when other forms of discipline are needed

1.          Spanking alone may not solve the problem

H.               No 8:  Agree with your spouse before enforcing discipline

1.          A united front is important. Don’t disagree about discipline in front of your child. Discuss and decide privately.

I.                   No 9:  Reinforce your love afterward

1.          Discipline is an expression of your love and not of their rejection

J.                  No 10:  Don’t give up

1.          Proverbs 22:6 (NKJV) “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

IX.       Response to the Word

A.               Repent of bad parenting habits

B.                Commit to becoming a proper parent

C.               Make God’s word your blueprint for parenting