Mentoring

Pastor Keith Hassell

I.          What is “mentoring”?

A.        The word mentor originated in Greek mythology.  Mentor was the name of a wise and faithful advisor to Odysseus.  When Odysseus left for a long voyage, he entrusted the teaching of his son Telemachus to his advisor, Mentor.  Through the counsel of Mentor, Odysseus’s son became a great leader.

B.         Mentoring can be defined as a “relational experience in which one person empowers another by sharing God-given resources.” [Dr. Robert Clinton, The Mentor Handbook (Pasadena, CA:  Barnabas Publishers, 1991), chapters 2,3.]

II.        Mentoring Incorporates a variety of relationships

            A.        Most people cannot point to just one person who influenced their life.

B.         Most people can point to many who mentored them during different periods in their life.

C.        There is a difference between mentoring and discipleship.

1.         Discipleship is more narrowly focused upon the spiritual growth of an individual.

2.         Mentoring is much broader and might be occasional, informal, or historical in nature.

3.         Dr. Robert Clinton identifies the following types of mentoring:

            VARIOUS TYPES OF MENTORING

| !! ACTIVE

| !!! OCCASIONAL

| !!! PASSIVE

|

| !!!  

Discipler

A mature follower ofChrist helping an immature Christian to grow in the Christian habits. !!! Spiritual Director

A spiritual person developing a personwho needs to developspiritually. !!! Coach

A relational process, in which a personwho knows how to do something very well, impartsthat capacity tosomeone who desiresto learn.  |  !!!! Counselor

Very much like a normal counselor. One who finds formalizedcounselors who make a professionof helping the body of Christ through counseling.  There areothers who counsel on a moreinformal basis. !!!! Teacher

This is your normal gifted teacherwho teaches knowledge to people with a specific need to learn who are motivated by the teacher to put their knowledgeinto action. !!!! Sponsor

This is a person with influence wholifts up a young, emerging leader.He might do this by encouraginghim/her or recommending him/her. |  !!!! Contemporary Model

An attraction to follow a person who has gifts like our own. !!!! Historical Model

A person can be mentoredvicariously through the study of someone’s life in biographical form. !!!! Divine Contact

God sometimes sends along a divine contactto mentor us in somespecial way whether we want it or not.  We should be prepared to recognizehim and respond accordingly to God’sempowerment throughhim. |

D.        Examples of types of mentoring

            1.         Sponsor Mentor:  Barnabas mentored Paul (Acts 9:27-28)

            2.         Counseling Mentor:  Make plans by seeking advice (Proverbs 20:18)

            3.         Peer Mentoring:  Iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17)

E.         The heart of mentoring is making the effort to speak into the life of a potential leader.

III.       Elements of the mentoring relationship

A.        Role modeling

1.         A mentor is foremost an example.  Jesus didn’t yell at us from heaven, but came down in the form of man to live among us.

2.         Howard Hendricks:  “God always wraps His truth in a person.  That’s the value of a godly mentor.  He shows what biblical truth looks like with skin on.”

3.         Albert Schweitzer (medical missionary):  “Example is not the main thing in influencing others . . . it is the only thing.”

            B.         Attraction

1.         “Finding the right mentor is somewhat like being in love.  A certain chemistry must be present.  Many mentoring relationships fail because of a lack of attraction.  Its this attraction element that stirs a person to work hard to please the mentor.  There’s a desire to bend over backwards to fulfill the requirements that the mentor demands.  Normally the person being mentored is attracted to the mentor because of the knowledge and resources that the mentor possesses.  In other words, the person being mentored desires to possess what the mentor has.  The mentor empowers his mentoree by sharing God-given resources.”  [Joel Comiskey, Leadership Explosion (Touch Publications, Houston, Texas), p. 95)

            C.        Relationship

1.         If a person knows that you care for them and want them to succeed, most likely they will be motivated to excel.”

2.         The mentor should seek to establish openness and trust in the mentoring relationship.  Open sharing and transparency cement relationships;  therefore, the mentor must openly share his or her life and struggles.

3.         In The Art of Mentoring, Shirley Peddy says:  “Tell your story first.  So often we make the mistake of asking the other person a question, and putting him on the spot.  “How did you like the meeting this morning?  Did you stay until the end?” This is more an interrogation than a “trust” builder.  No wonder the other person feels exposed and vulnerable.  He wonders why you are asking.  How should he answer?  Is this a test?  To avoid this reaction, always start with your own story, making sure it isn’t something that puts you in a highly favorable light.  Maybe when you attended the meeting in the morning, you slipped out a few minutes early.  “I can never stay awake in meetings anyway,” you tell him.  By disclosing something personal about yourself, you take the initial step toward creating trust.”

D.        Accountability

1.         To avoid disappointment in mentoring, it is best to place everything on the table at the beginning of the mentoring relationship.

2.         Individuals need to talk openly about such question as the frequency of meetings, assignments, material used, and when the mentoring relationship will end.  Unlike parenting relationships, mentoring will run its course.

3.         For mentoring to work, the mentoree must demonstrate an attitude of voluntary submission so that advice and assignments will be respected and fulfilled.

4.         Commitment, faithfulness, and follow through are essential qualifications in the mentoring relationship.

5.         If a mentor enters an intense, formal relationship with a mentoree, he or she should expect results.

IV.       Mentoring in the Cell Church

A.        The cell leader must take the responsibility to make sure that each newcomer receives discipleship.

B.         Assign a member of the cell group to a newcomer so that the responsibility is shared within the group.

C.        Attempt to connect people according to the same age, gender, and other characteristics.  It is not always possible to connect people based on the element of attraction.

D.        Mentoring is never an end in itself.  It is one link in the chain.  The mentor spends enough time with the new convert to pass him or her along to the next link.  Future links in the chain include leadership training and planting a new cell.