When You Suffer in Relationships...

1 Peter 3 NRSV

Wives, in the same way, accept the authority of your husbands, so that, even if some of them do not obey the word, they may be won over without a word by their wives’ conduct, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Do not adorn yourselves outwardly by braiding your hair, and by wearing gold ornaments or fine clothing; rather, let your adornment be the inner self with the lasting beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in God’s sight. It was in this way long ago that the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves by accepting the authority of their husbands. Thus Sarah obeyed Abraham and called him lord. You have become her daughters as long as you do what is good and never let fears alarm you. Husbands, in the same way, show consideration for your wives in your life together, paying honor to the woman as the weaker sex, since they too are also heirs of the gracious gift of life—so that nothing may hinder your prayers. Finally, all of you, have unity of spirit, sympathy, love for one another, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or abuse for abuse; but, on the contrary, repay with a blessing. It is for this that you were called—that you might inherit a blessing. For “Those who desire life and desire to see good days, let them keep their tongues from evil and their lips from speaking deceit; let them turn away from evil and do good; let them seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.” Now who will harm you if you are eager to do what is good? But even if you do suffer for doing what is right, you are blessed. Do not fear what they fear, and do not be intimidated, but in your hearts sanctify Christ as Lord. Always be ready to make your defense to anyone who demands from you an accounting for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and reverence. Keep your conscience clear, so that, when you are maligned, those who abuse you for your good conduct in Christ may be put to shame. For it is better to suffer for doing good, if suffering should be God’s will, than to suffer for doing evil. For Christ also suffered for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, in order to bring you to God. He was put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit, in which also he went and made a proclamation to the spirits in prison, who in former times did not obey, when God waited patiently in the days of Noah, during the building of the ark, in which a few, that is, eight persons, were saved through water. And baptism, which this prefigured, now saves you—not as a removal of dirt from the body, but as an appeal to God for a good conscience, through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, who has gone into heaven and is at the right hand of God, with angels, authorities, and powers made subject to him.

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,

2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—

4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.

5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands,

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,

6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

3 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,

7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

8 Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.

9 Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.

10 For“Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit;

11 let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it.

“Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit;

12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

13 Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good?

14 But even if you should suffer for righteousness' sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled,

15 but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect,

16 having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame.

17 For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God's will, than for doing evil.

18 For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit,

Introduction:

“I’m lonely,” Adam told God in the Garden of Eden. “I need to have someone around for company.”

“OK,” replied God. “I’m going to give you the perfect woman. Beautiful, intelligent and gracious - she’ll cook and clean for you and never say a cross word.”

“Sounds good,” Adam said. “But what’s she going to cost?”

“An arm and a leg.”

“That’s pretty steep,” countered Adam, “What can I get for just a rib?”

Aunt Harriet once explained to me the secret of a lasting marriage: “Your Uncle Albert and I have managed to be happy together for forty years. I guess this is because we’re both in love with the same man.”

Men and Women are a Royal Priesthood Together.

The Pattern of the Household Codes. Our Identity is a Royal Priesthood, Chosen Race, Holy Nation - So Live Holy as God is Holy and offer living sacrifices - So Use the freedom of Your Identity to Serve as Christ Did.

vs. 7

The Lexham English Bible Chapter 3

showing them honor as fellow heirs also of the grace of life,

vs 7

Traditional View, Complimentarianism, Egalitarianism

My View - Complimegalitarianism. - It’s Complicated right.

Traditional View, Complimentarianism, Egalitarianism

God Made us together in his image.

Both are different but compliementary

As Such in the Beginning God did not create a hierarchy - One above the other, but a Co-Regency

Situation on the Ground

Big Issue Jewish/Christian Women whose husbands are not believers.

Because…Possibly they have been expelled by Rome because of disputes between Jews and a sect of Judaism called Christianity.

The Head of a Household = a male landowner, and everyone in the household were expected to worship the gods of that head of the household. - So, you can see why it would be difficult for a slave to be a christian in that environment. These women are possibly both in a slave situation (refugees) and many, but not all are in the situation where their husband is Jewish (pagan), but they are Christian.

So, Again, Peter is giving instruction on how folks in this situation should live our Identity as a Royal Priesthood, Chosen Race, Holy Nation - How Live Holy as God is Holy and offer living sacrifices - as a Jewish Christian Women who while already married was converted to new life in Christ then becoming a refugee over it and by the way whose husband is on the other side of the debate and is expecting you to believe what he believes. Or, a husband who generally being Jewish who believes in Jesus and naturally the rest of the household would follow.

Our Situation may be different relationally, and so with texts like this the best way to apply our lives to them is to see the pattern of Christ-Like living in these household codes, and say well what conclusions with that pattern might I live in our culture, and my situation.

In an Egalitarian and increasingly egalitarian society

I am a believer married to another believer

I am a believer not married to another believer

I am not married yet.

I am too young to even have this on my radar.

So let’s try and answer that question for us today.

People Who are Holy, Live to Give God Glory in Their Relationships

This chapter is often isolated as an instruction to all married women. But the first words of are vital: “In the same way.” Peter just finished explaining in the previous verses how Jesus suffered unjustly in order to bring about God’s purposes for us. This instruction to women who are married to men who “do not obey the Word of God” (AMP) should not be separated from Peter’s overall message of how to suffer with humility and hope. (The Amplified version of this passage is very helpful in its extensive descriptions.). This principle applies to those of us today who have close relatives who do not know God.

1. This chapter is often isolated as an instruction to all married women. But the first words of are vital: “In the same way.” Peter just finished explaining in the previous verses how Jesus suffered unjustly in order to bring about God’s purposes for us. This instruction to women who are married to men who “do not obey the Word of God” (AMP) should not be separated from Peter’s overall message of how to suffer with humility and hope. (The Amplified version of this passage is very helpful in its extensive descriptions.). This principle applies to those of us today who have close relatives who do not know God.

There is an important distinction between submission in a healthy marriage and dominance in an abusive one. One of every four relationships experience domestic abuse in some form, including in the church. This article discusses how Bible passages like this one can be misused: http://www.relevantmagazine.com/reject-apathy/loss-of-innocents/features/16268-lyz-lenz. Make sure the women hearing your message know you are not condoning abusive control and your church is available to help if their relationship is abusive.

Boundaries Quote....Love your husband who is abusing you by not letting him destroy your dignity and his through this destructive behavior.

Husbands - View your wives as part of the Royal priesthood - You are on the same team, you are a co-regency.

Weaker Vessel = Weaker physically. You will find more women today who physically can protect themselves and are allowed training in self-defense. But Peter is talking about protecting women not using their physical strength to push, intimidate, to force oneself onto. This is not calling women weaker mentally, spiritually, or status. That is why he encourages honoring one another as co-heirs, all Royal priests. - This today goes for both men and women do we treat each other this way? Do we honor and build up or push our weight around.

Women - The discussion on clothing. Notice the grammer of vs. 3. It is not saying don’t wear nice clothes, or jewelry. It says do not let that be the source of your beauty. Let the Identity of Christ which produces his character in us be the source of our beauty.

When I was in High School/Middle School name brands for both men and women were what created clicks and often was the source of our identity. This got ugly - Watch the movie mean girls as an example. But again what we have is a lowsy place for identity. Young men, Young women - There is nothing wrong with putting on clothes you like, but more importantly work harder at what it means to live out your identity as a Children of God.

The pattern for both men and women is to use your royalty and freedom to submit to one another’s leadership and to serve one another as Christ did, who died for us.

For Young Folks - and singles - Wisdom = Seek a spouse that is a believer.

Friends who came to Christ after marriage = Difficult = Still living a lifestyle that honors the other in order to Glorify God.

Marriage is not an evangelism strategy

Marriage is a part of God’s Gospel, but the design is a man and women under his leadership submitting to each other, serving each other, parenting by the direction of the Lord.

But, If you happen to find yourself married to an unbeliever remember Christ is your Lord. Let him lead you first, and his leadership is to serve your spouse in a God Glorifying way.

Even when people are Evil and Insult You.

Vs. 9-18 really summarize the Gospel Life he is applying in the Household Codes.

Conclusion:

Aunt Harriet once explained to me the secret of a lasting marriage: “Your Uncle Albert and I have managed to be happy together for forty years. I guess this is because we’re both in love with the same man.”

If that man is Jesus this is not a joke.

Either Way if the couple is in both in love with Jesus or not, We as Children of God are called to serve like Jesus in our Relationships.

Reference the Reformed Confessions: The Reformed Confessions are statements of faith written to clarify the Gospel at times when the Church was in crisis. Heidelberg Chatechism: Q&A 32-33, 52, 54, 62-64, 86, 91, 104-107 Belgic Confession: Article 24, 27 Canon’s of Dort: Head V , Article 12 Belhar Confession: Articles 1-5