It's So Simple

The Comedy Styling of Jim Gaffigan

In one of Jim Gaffigan’s stand up comedy routines, he has a bit that I absolutely love. It goes something like this:

I think Dominos is trying to kill us. I can’t figure out those Dominos deals. You can get one large pizza for $15.99 or two large pizzas for a nickel. “If we get ‘em so fat they can’t leave the house, then they have to call us again. It’s called the Dominos Effect. So Simple.”

Quick story: the other night, I completely proved why I will never be a Math genius. Is there anybody her that is? The long and the short of it was that Stacy and I got into a discussion regarding something, which is, of itself, irrelevant, but is related to the weight of an object. The point is, that Stacy refused to give me the specific weight. She gave me the weight after something had been trimmed off, and the percentage of the excess that had to be trimmed off in order to get to the number she did give me. So, in my own head, having done literally hundreds of word problems, I am confident that I can work this out mathmatically with simple algebra: considering the variables: we have X which will equal the total weight. Then we have Y, which is the excess weight. When you remove 70% of Y, from the total weight X, you should get the end number, which for argument’s sake, we will call 17 pounds. Here’s what I came up with:

17 = x - 0.7y

Anybody here quick with their math? Well, I attempted to use a method called “substitutionary equatives” where you solve to one of the two variables, and then proceed to reinsert the equative into the equation for the variable in question. Like so:

17 + 0.7y = x

Then, understanding that x is equal to everything to the left, doing this:

17 = (17+0.7y) - 0.7y

And of course, things get wierd and sticky, as this particular equation is not made for an substitutionary solution for an equation, because

17=12+0.7y−0.7y

17=12+0.7y+−0.7y

17=(0.7y+−0.7y)+(12)

17=12

I even tried it another way...

Let’s solve for y. Maybe that works better. Sometimes it does.

17 = x - 0.7y

And this turns into:

Step 1: Flip the equation.

x−0.7y=17

Step 2: Add -x to both sides.

x−0.7y+−x=17+−x

−0.7y=−x+17

Step 3: Divide both sides by -0.7.

−0.7y−0.7=−x+17−0.7

y=1.428571x−24.285714

So, let’s go back to the original equation, and plug this in for y, and see if we can get a good number for X.

17= x - 0.7(1.428571x−24.285714)

And using my stupid method...

Step 1: Simplify both sides of the equation.

17=x−0.7(1.428571x−24.285714)

17=x+(−0.7)(1.428571x)+(−0.7)(−24.285714)(Distribute)

17=x+−1x+17

17=(x+−1x)+(17)(Combine Like Terms)

17=0x+17

17=0x+17

Step 2: Flip the equation.

0x+17=17

Step 3: Subtract 17 from both sides.

0x+17−17=17−17

0x=0

See the issue here?

We do this with so many things in our lives! We complicate things because they look complicated, or we think we’ve seen a similar problem before and we think we know the solution! Worse is when we do this with matters of faith.

Turn with me to our Scripture reading for today, John 3:16

English Standard Version Chapter 3

16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

A pastor by the name of Ken Weliever wrote in his blog something I want to share with you all about this passage:

The Protestant reformer Martin Luther called it “the gospel in miniature.”

Biblical Commentator William Barclay wrote that it is “the very essence of the Gospel.”

Comedian Jeff Foxworthy stated, “This is the promise that bears hope for the hopeless.”

Gospel preacher, Robert Jackson, entitled it “The greatest sentence ever written.”　

Musician Mac Powell said, “It is the Gospel in a nutshell.”

SBC Executive Frank S. Page portrayed it as “Mount Everest of Scripture passages from God’s Word.

Author Max Lucado described it as the “hope diamond of the Bible.”

He goes on to say that it is sometimes called “the golden text of the Bible.” We all have our favorite passage or passages in Scripture, but this one has been called “Everybody’s text.”

Max Lucado wrote that John 3:16 “is a twenty-six word parade of hope: beginning with God, ending with Life, and urging us to do the same. Brief enough to write on a napkin or memorize in a moment, yet solid enough to weather two thousand years of storms and questions. If you know nothing of the Bible, start here. If you know everything in the Bible, return here.”

An unknown author once broke down this text this way:

“God“ The greatest Lover

The Father in Heaven. To Him be all the glory, honor, worship, and praise! It has to begin with God, the author and finisher of our salvation, and on whose words we put all of our hope and desires upon.

“so loved”…………….The greatest Degree

So many people in this world don’t understand that they are loved. The concept boggles their mind. Each of you is beloved by God. Did you know that? He loves each of you as if there were only one of you. If it were not so, He would not have created this world, nor given us a way to get back to Him. That God’s love is limitless and boundless, and incomprehensible is putting it mildly!

“the world”The greatest Company

We are each made in His image. Each of us, brothers and sisters. And like some siblings, we fight. We argue. And sometimes, like some siblings, we harm one another deeply. But remember, God made us in His image. When you see your wife, husband, brother, sister, friend, enemy, and even stranger on the street, you are seeing God’s image. But, we are broken, and hopeless without Him. We matter to Him.

“that He gave”The greatest Act

Because God loves, he gave. That’s his nature. His personality. His character. He is the giver of good gifts. Perfect gifts. Needed gifts. And the greatest of all gifts is His one and only Son, Jesus Christ.

“His only begotten Son”The greatest Gift

The gift that truly does keep on giving! Jesus is my lord and my savior. God came to us, clothed in flesh, simply to be with us. His names show this: His birth name is Joshua, meaning God saves. But Mary was told that He will also be called Emmanuel, God with us. And he’s left us with the Holy Spirit, to point back to Him, who was given all authority and power in Heaven and on Earth, and over things under the earth.

You see, Church family, it’s through Jesus, who is the way, the truth, and the life, that I also can get to the Father. He redeems me, he cleanses me from my sins and faults. In Him I find peace and where my joy is. It is from Him where I get my blessings, and have life abundantly, AMEN?

“that whosoever”The greatest Invitation

Oh, man. And I’m not the only one here who’s been saved from themselves and sin, right? When God says “Whoever” He means “WHOEVER!” It means me, you, and you, and you, and you, you, you in the back, you, and literally EVERY SINGLE HUMAN BEING on this planet. But so many people just don’t understand the invitation. No, it isn’t easy. And yes, life will get harder. But only this life! Take up your cross, and follow after Him who sits on the throne of heaven!

“believeth”The greatest Simplicity

This is very clear: if we just believe that He was God in flesh, that he died for your sins, that he rose from the dead, and is one day going to come and take us home, everything is ours.

“in Him”The greatest Person

SM Lockridge had a very famous sermon called, “That’s My King! Do you know Him?” that does the best job I’ve ever heard of, in trying to describe Jesus:

"The Bible says my King is a seven-way king..

He's the King of the Jews; that's a racial king..

He's the King of Israel; that's a national King..

He's the King of Righteousness.

He's the King of the Ages..

He's the King of Heaven.

He's the King of Glory.

He's the King of Kings, and He's the Lord of Lords.

That's my King. Well.I wonder, do you know Him?.

David said, "The Heavens declare the glory of God and the firmament shows His handiwork. My King is a sovereign King. No means of measure can define His limitless love.

No far seeing telescope can bring into visibility the coastline of His shoreless supply.

No barrier can hinder Him from pouring out His blessings. He's enduringly strong.

He's entirely sincere.

He's eternally steadfast.

He's immortally graceful.

He's imperially powerful.

He's impartially merciful. Do you know Him?

He's the greatest phenomenon that ever crossed the horizon of this world.

He's God's Son.

He's a sinner's Savior..

He's the centerpiece of civilization.

He stands in the solitude of Himself.

He's awesome.

He's unique.

He's unparalleled.

He's unprecedented.

He's the loftiest idea in literature.

He's the highest personality in philosophy.

He's the supreme problem in higher criticism.

He's the fundamental doctrine of true theology.

He's the cardinal necessity of spiritual religion.

He's the miracle of the age.

He's the superlative of everything good that you choose to call Him.

He's the only one qualified to be an all sufficient Savior I wonder if you know Him today?

He supplies strength for the weak.

He's available for the tempted and the tried.

He sympathizes and He saves.

He strengthens and sustains.

He guards and He guides.

He heals the sick.

He cleanses lepers.

He forgives sinners.

He discharges debtors.

He delivers captives.

He defends the feeble.

He blesses the young.

He serves the unfortunate.

He regards the aged.

He rewards the diligent.

And He beautifies the meek. I wonder if you know Him?

Well, my King is the King.

He's the key to knowledge.

He's the wellspring to wisdom.

He's the doorway of deliverance.

He's the pathway of peace.

He's the roadway of righteousness .

He's the highway of holiness.

He's the gateway of glory Do you know Him?

Well. His office is manifold.

His promise is sure.

His light is matchless.

His goodness is limitless.

His mercy is everlasting.

His love never changes.

His Word is enough.

His grace is sufficient.

His reign is righteous.

And His yoke is easy, and his burden is light. I wish I could describe Him to you, but He's indescribable. He's incomprehensible.

He's invincible.

He's irresistible.

Well, You can't get Him out of your mind.

You can't get Him off of your hand. You can't out live Him,

And you can't live without Him.

The Pharisees couldn't stand Him, but they found out they couldn't stop Him.

Pilate couldn't find any fault in Him.

The witnesses couldn't get their testimonies to agree.

Herod couldn't kill Him.

Death couldn't handle Him, And the grave couldn't hold Him. Yea!, that's my King, that's my King.

Father."Yours is the Kingdom.and the Power.and the Glory.Forever".and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever. How long is that? And when you get through with all the forevers, then AMEN and AMEN!

“should not perish”The greatest Promise

The worst lie ever told on this planet begun with the phrase “Did God really say...” So often in this world, with everything in it, especially with movies, television, and books, is that lie that we live on, or are judged immediately after death. Sorry, but it’s not Scriptural. It’s nowhere in the Bible. Read it. In fact, we Adventists always thought that we are rather…unique in this belief, don’t we? Guess what? We aren’t. I was clickety clacking through the interwebs (can you all hear the collective cringe from the millenials as I said “interwebs”), and came across a rather…interesting blog, by a pastor named Andrew Perriman. This is a man with a PhD from the London School of Theology. This guy, after reading his blog posts, knows his stuff. And after he had suggested a few things that I had never heard many non-Adventists say, let alone publish, I asked him point blank: What is it you believe happens when we die? And he answered thusly:

“My view is that when we die, we are simply dead. We return to the dust of the earth.” He goes on a little later saying: “But the God of history is also the God of creation, and the Bible in the end looks beyond history to a final rectification. So we can expect there to be a final resurrection of all the dead, when along with the rest of humanity we will be judged according to what we have done. If our names are “not found written in the book of life”—notice that this is not the “book of life of the Lamb who was slain” (Rev. 13:8)—we will find ourselves consigned to the lake of fire, which is the second death, along with death itself (Rev. 20:12-15). No “hell” there, just a last iteration of the simple universal truth that the wages of sin is death. All bad things must come to an end.” And wait, there’s more!! Again, I asked him, point blank, regarding what he believes happens to the soul, or if he believes in the immortality of the soul, to which he responded with another blog post: “He who asked what happens to us after death has also asked whether I believe in the immortality of the soul. The short answer is no. A slightly longer answer would go something like this….

It’s a generalisation—we always have to reckon with the extent to which Jewish thought was hellenised in the period—but I think it’s correct to say that the immortality of the soul was a Greek contribution to the history of Christian thought.” After going on about where this came from (which, by the way, was Plato), he states, categorically: “But it’s not a biblical idea.” After discussing this at length, he ends this way: “So I am led to conclude that Christians who die between the vindication of the early martyrs and the final resurrection—i.e., during John’s thousand year period—do not go to heaven. To get to heaven when you die you either need to have an immortal soul, which we don’t, or you need to be raised from the dead, which we aren’t. So we will just have to wait. Or rather not wait, because we will be dead.” In other words: we will be raised on the last day in one of two ways: if we are in Christ: with Him in the first resurrection, to new and eternal life with Him. If you are not in Christ, then you will be raised with the rest of the world in the second resurrection, to judgment. Personally, I want in on the first resurrection.

Unlike what my wife has told me repeatedly, THIS “but” is the greatest in the world. It’s the dividing line between life and death. Jesus admonishes not to reject Him, but to receive His words. To believe Him. To love Him. To obey Him. And to accept his offer of eternal pardon.

“have”The greatest Certainty

The certainty we who have placed our faith in Jesus, is incomparable. That said, this is probably the most doubted part of our faith, our assurance of salvation. The idea that God has us in His hand, and as long as we continually seek Him, we have nothing to fear.

“everlasting life”The greatest Possession

But the terms of salvation’s offer are His. Not ours. Jesus would later say, “If you love Me, keep My commandments…If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love” (John 14:15; 15:10) This commandment? We are to love one another as He loves us. What will Jesus say to you on the last day? Will He say: ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, 36 was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’

Or, will He look at you with sad resignation and say: ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, 43 was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’

As we close out, I want each of you to examine the complexity of your faith. Have you made it over-complicated? Have you made it out to be something that not even you yourself could attain? Remember, John 3:16 doesn’t end there…it goes on to say: 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. 18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God.

Do you believe in the name of the only Son of God? I pray you do. If you are struggling with this, give your life over to Jesus. If you have, but have made everything so overly complicated, come back to this verse, and find the simple message contained within.

The entire plan of salvation, it seems, begins with God, and ends in eternal life.

Let us pray.