6 Tips for being a Godly Husband

God's purpose for marriage is to make us more like Christ.

When I applied for a marriage license, all I had to do was pay a fee.

There was no training, no video and no job description.

In spite of the fact that I lacked many of the fundamental skills on how to make a marriage work, the license was granted!

I know there are many men today who are trying to figure out exactly what God expects of them as husbands.

So I want to discuss a list of the things I believe are central to being a godly husband.

Proverbs 18:22 KJV 1900

Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, And obtaineth favour of the Lord.

Be a Spiritual Leader

A spiritual servant-leader, then, imitates Christ. He’s attuned to his family’s needs and concerned for its spiritual welfare. He looks for ways to help its members grow in their relationship with God. He provides physical support, grace, and encouragement. He is ready to protect, help and defend. In hard times and good times, in season and out of season, he is ready to lay down his life for those who have been entrusted to his care.

She imagined you leaving for work and saying, "I'll be back this evening, and we can have devotions again."

What kinds of qualities are required in a husband who desires to fulfill this high and holy calling? In the first place, he must have a strong connection with his Heavenly Father, finding his happiness in Christ first, realizing that he can lead effectively only if he maintains an intimate relationship with the Lord. He must be balanced in his commitments and nurturing in his concern for the mental and emotional needs of each family member. He must be proactive, spotting potential challenges to the welfare of his wife and children and coming up with workable solutions to problems. And he must be characterized by integrity, seeking to be the safest, wisest and most respected man his family has ever known.

About a month into the marriage, your wife was probably thinking, What happened? Reading the Scriptures and praying together is so important. If I could rewind my marriage and start that practice earlier, I would do it in a second.

No matter how long you've been married, now is the time to develop a pattern to initiate spiritually that can work in your marriage. Remember, it's a husband who ought to initiate this.

"A man may not be a vocational theologian," says Doug Wilson, author of Reforming Marriage.

"But in his home, he needs to be the resident theologian."

Lead With Humility

The reason there is such a debate about whether men ought to be leaders in a marriage relationship is because too many men have not led with humility.

Men may be called by God to lead their wives, but our leadership should be selfless.

Philippians 2:3 KJV 1900

Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.

Put this verse into practice, and it will solve 95 percent of the issues you face.

Put this verse into practice, and it will solve 95 percent of the issues you face.

I have never met a woman who says, "I resist my husband's leadership even though he is very humble and Christlike."

The women I've talked to are craving godly leadership in their marriages.

Be a Godly, Courageous Man

1 Corinthians 16:13 KJV 1900

Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong.

Before we can be godly husbands, we must be men of courage.

1 Corinthians

Before we can be godly husbands, we must be men of courage.

Before we can be godly husbands, we must be men of courage.

Wrapped up in that definition of what it means to be a man is the idea of courage.

And the essence of courage is to have such a great fear of God that you fear nothing else.

Be a Provider

The husband should bear the primary responsibility for the financial needs of the home.

1 Timothy 5:8 KJV 1900

But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

That's not the kind of reputation I want to have in the community.

That's not the kind of reputation I want to have in the community.

Part of the root meaning for the word provider means "to look ahead."

A provider is one who anticipates and does the strategic planning for the household. He thinks about the goals. Not just the financial goals, but the spiritual goals and emotional goals.

In a sense, he is chief executive officer of the corporation. It's his responsibility to set the direction.

And many times his wife is the chief operating officer. The 2 of them need to unify their direction for the good of the family.

Love God More Than You Love Your Wife

After 3 years of dating Mary Ann, we began to talk about marriage. A little while later we broke up. I was devastated.

It was God who said, "You will have no other gods before me. If you put something or someone else in His place, He will remove it."

It was as if God were saying, "You will have no other gods before me, and if you put something or someone else in My place, I will remove it."

In 25 years of marriage, I still run into the same problem. I keep myself in check with this question: Whom do I fear more: my wife or God?

Jesus tells us that the first and greatest commandment is that we love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength

Mark 12:29–30 KJV 1900

And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord: And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.

This means we should desire God more than we desire anything else. When we love God first, we see love differently, and can love our spouse in extraordinary ways. When we decide to make our relationship with God first in our lives, everything else will naturally fall into the right order. Our relationship with God should be a top priority.

But God reminds me, "You do the right thing, even if, for the moment, it doesn't make her happy."

Love Her Biblically and Extravagantly

Love Her Biblically and Extravagantly

To love her biblically, we need to ask, "What is God's love for us like?" The essence of His love for us is reflected in His commitment to us and His sacrifice for us. That's what our love for our wife needs to look like too.

It means placing her needs ahead of my own. And it means that I will still sacrifice for her even when we disagree. She must be my priority.

Remember the little line in the marriage vow, "Forsaking all others, until death do us part"?

That means your relationship with your wife is more important than any other human relationship -- friends, your boss or even your children.

Put simply, we must love our wives more than anything on earth; that is the essence of the marriage relationship.

D.L. Moody summed it up best: "If I want to find out whether a man was a Christian, I wouldn't go to a minister; I'd go and ask his wife.

If a man doesn't treat his wife right, I don't want to hear him talk about Christianity. What is the use of talking about salvation for the next life if he has no salvation for this life?"

Over dinner that night, we could both say that in spite of any challenges that have come our way, we wouldn't change the outcome of our shared 25 years.

God will use your relationship with each other more than anything else to make us more like Christ. And ultimately, that is His purpose for marriage.