Gossip

GOSSIP

Introduction:  Insensitivity makes a wound that heals slowly. If someone hurts your feelings intentionally you know how to react. You know the source of the pain. But if someone accidentally bruises your soul, it’s difficult to know how to respond.

Someone at work criticizes the new boss who also happens to be your dear friend. “Oh, I’m sorry—I forgot the two of you were so close.”

A joke is told at a party about overweight people. You’re overweight. You hear the joke. You smile politely while your heart sinks.

What was intended to be a reprimand for a decision or action becomes a personal attack. “You have a history of poor decisions, John.”

Someone chooses to wash your dirty laundry in public. “Sue, is it true that you and Jim are separated?”

Insensitive comments. Thoughts that should have remained thoughts. Feelings which had no business being expressed. Opinions carelessly tossed like a grenade into a crowd.

And if you were to tell the one who threw these thoughtless darts about the pain they caused, his response would be “Oh, but I had no intention … I didn’t realize you were so sensitive!” or “I forgot you were here.”

In a way, the words are comforting, until you stop to think about them (which is not recommended). For when you start to think about insensitive slurs, you realize they come from an infamous family whose father has bred generations of pain. His name? Egotism. His children? Three sisters: Disregard, disrespect, and disappointment.

These three witches have combined to poison countless relationships and break innumerable hearts. Listed among their weapons are Satan’s cruelest artillery: gossip, accusations, resentment, impatience, and on and on. And listed under the tide of subterfuge is this poison of insensitivity.

It’s called subterfuge because it’s so subtle. Just a slip of the tongue. Just a blank of memory. No one is at fault. No harm done.

Perhaps. And, perhaps not. For as the innocent attackers go on their way excusing themselves for things done without hurtful intention, a wounded soul is left in the dust, utterly confused. “If no one intended to hurt me, then why do I hurt so badly?”

God’s Word has strong medicine for those who carelessly wag their tongues. (Max Lucado, God came near : Chronicles of the Christ)

I. Definitions

     A. Gossip - a person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others; rumor or report of an intimate nature

     B. Hebrew words

          1. רָכִיל rāḵiyl: A masculine noun referring to gossip. It refers to spreading rumors or false material about someone. It is always used in a negative manner. Such a practice was prohibited by the Mosaic Law (Lev. 19:16). Wisdom Literature condemns it. It entails revealing things that should not be made public (Prov. 11:13; 20:19). God condemns the whole people of being talebearers, especially certain leaders (Jer. 6:28; 9:4[3]; Ezek. 22:9).

          2. נִרְגָּן nirgān: A masculine noun indicating a gossiper, a slanderer. It depicts a person who harms others by attacking them verbally falsely (Prov. 16:28). It indicates a person who whispers things that will harm others, things that should be kept secret (Prov. 18:8; 16:22), creating tension and strife (Prov. 26:20).

     C. Greek words

          1. ψιθυριστής:  lit. “a whisperer,” but used with special reference to secret attacks on a person’s character.  One who habitually engages in gossip, gossiper.

          2. κατάλαλος: (derivative of καταλαλέω ‘to speak evil of,’) one who engages in speaking against or insulting, slanderer, one who insults.    1 Pet 2:1; 2 Cor 12.20; James 4:11    Notice that neither truth nor error are part of the definition.

          3. βλασφημέω; βλασφημία: to speak against someone in such a way as to harm or injure his or her reputation (occurring in relation to persons as well as to divine beings), to revile, to defame, to blaspheme, reviling, curse.   Matt 27.39; Tit 3.2

     C. Rumor    

          1. John 21:23 “the saying or word”

          2. A statement or report current without known authority for its truth
    

II. What God thinks of it

     A. I Timothy 5:11-13

     B. Titus 3:1-2

     C. Ephesians 4:31-32

     D. Leviticus 19-16

     E. Proverbs 10:18

     F. Romans 1:29-30

     G. II Timothy 3:3

     H. I Timothy 6:3-5

     I. Wisdom 1:11

                   Beware then of useless grumbling, and keep your tongue from slander; because no secret word is without result, and a lying mouth destroys the soul.

III. Listening to gossip

     A. Proverbs 20.19   Do not associate

     B. Whether something is true or not, you are influenced by the gossip

     C. Don’t listen to gossip

     D. If you hear gossip, check out the truth by talking to the person(s) involved.

Conclusion:  All talebearing, whether false (Mt. 5:11) or not (Dn. 3:8), malicious (Ps. 31:13; Ezk. 22:9) or foolish (Pr. 10:18; 18:8 = 26:22; Mt. 12:36), especially between neighbors (Je. 9:4) or brothers (Jas. 4:11), is condemned (Lv. 19:16) and punished (Ps. 101:5) by God, and causes quarrelling (Pr. 26:20).

These practical steps will purge careless words from your talk.

1.     Never tell jokes that slander.

2.     Never criticize in public unless you have already expressed your disappointment with the other person in private, have already taken someone with you to discuss the grievance with the person, and are absolutely convinced that public reprimand is necessary and will be helpful.

3.     Never say anything about anyone in their absence that you wouldn’t say in their presence.   (Max Lucado)

This kind of talk drives people away from the church and often destroys faith.  Don’t do it.