We are a community part 6
Notes
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VISITOR IMAGES
Why do people tend to visit a church for the first time?
Why do people tend to visit a church for the first time?
To browse the building?
To get free stuff?
Because they have a need?
In survey after survey, we find that most people stay away from churches unless they have a “felt need” they are looking to have met.
Knowing this about guests who visit us in very important, because it gives us a very good clue as to how we should approach them.
Truism: You only have one chance to make a good first impression.
Visitors make up their minds regarding a new church in the first ten minutes of their visit.
Here’s what the bible says:
Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.
Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.
Accept means to welcome or receive.
“When a foreigner lives with you in your land, don’t take advantage of him. Treat the foreigner the same as a native. Love him like one of your own. Remember that you were once foreigners in Egypt. I am God, your God.
(TMSG) “When a foreigner lives with you in your land, don’t take advantage of him. Treat the foreigner the same as a native. Love him like one of your own. Remember that you were once foreigners in Egypt. I am GOD, your God.
Reminder from last week: we are striving to turn a stranger into a family member.
But the crowds got wind of it and followed. Jesus graciously welcomed them and talked to them about the kingdom of God. Those who needed healing, he healed.
(TMSG) But the crowds got wind of it and followed. Jesus graciously welcomed them and talked to them about the kingdom of God. Those who needed healing, he healed.
This is the example of hospitality our Lord gave us.
INTRODUCTION: As we can see, from the OT thru the NT God teaches us to welcome and extend hospitality to those we do not know as well as to those we do.
As we can see, from the OT thru the NT God teaches us to welcome and extend hospitality to those we do not know as well as to those we do.
With that in mind it would do us well as a church to look at our desire to welcome others and our ability to do so.
Hospitality is shown by our vocabulary.
Hospitality is shown by our vocabulary.
(A lot can be said in a few words)
Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.
Words are important
The words we use are important
The words we use are important
They mean things
They communicate information
They set the tone of the situation
The words we use reveal our thinking
The words we use reveal our thinking
1. The words we use reveal our thinking
Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.
Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.
1
Grumbling here is whispering and complaining about the task of showing hospitality. If we are all about “me” in our hearts, our words will reflect that.
Grumbling is whispering and complaining about the task of showing hospitality. If we are all about “me” in our hearts, our words will reflect that.
The words we use reveal our real thoughts about the issue
The words we use reveal our real thoughts about the issue
Sample greeting:
Hi I’m (first name) welcome, I’m glad you are here! Mind if I ask your name(s)? [Then use their names immediately]
[Then use thier names immediately]
Invite them to sit with you and introduce them to others.
Sample questions to ask guests:
Were you invited by someone who attends our church?
What made you decide to attend today?
What sort of work do you do?
Never Assume:
Never assume a new couple is married.
Never assume someone is a believer or isn’t a believer.
Never, never, never, assume a woman is expecting.
Never assume a couple have children, unless they offer the information, then by all means tell them you look forward to meeting them.
Hospitality means more that greeting, it’s “engagement.”
Hospitality is more than greeting, it’s “engagement.”
Hospitality is more than greeting, it’s “engagement.”
Christian fellowship is much more than a pat on the back and a handshake. It means sharing the burdens and the blessings of others so that we all grow together and glorify the Lord. Wiersbe, W. W
Here are some of the issues God wanted Israel to know about when they dealt with strangers
i. They were allowed to listen to the reading of the Law
ii. They were allowed to celebrate festivals
iii. They were allowed to participate in religious observances
iv. They had freedom from oppression
v. They had access to physical care
vi. They had legal protection
vii. They were allowed to work in the temple
viii. They were allowed to serve in the army
HOLY HOSPITALITY IS ALWAYS RELATIONAL BASED.
It means that we take the initiative and act.
b. When we seek to emulate God’s view of welcome, we need to communicate welcome well, leaving NO room for error or miscommunication.
Remember you are the host, they are the guests.
Remember you are the host, they are the guests.
Do not put the burden of engaging on our guests. Be the first to approach, do not wait on guests to approach.
Furniture store illustration from Jeff Miller.
“Please remember that greeting times are not the same as conversation. Shaking hands and saying ‘Hi’ to seven people standing near me in a greeting time is not engaging. Most guests don’t perceive a greeting time like you might think they do: they tend to find it awkward and intimidating.” - Jeff Miller DS
The six most important minutes of a church service, in a visitor’s eyes, are the three minutes before the service and the three minutes after the service.
when church members introduce themselves, seeking genuinely to get to know the visitors (not just obtain personal information like the market research data collectors at the mall), offer to answer any questions, introduce them to others who may have a connection (perhaps they live in the same neighborhood, are from the same hometown or state, or their children attend the same school), or any number of ways to demonstrate to the visitors that they as a church member care.
This is the opportunity for church members introduce themselves, seeking genuinely to get to know the visitors, offer to answer any questions, introduce them to others who may have a connection (perhaps they live in the same neighborhood, are from the same hometown or state, or their children attend the same school), or any number of ways to demonstrate to the visitors that they as a church member care.
The 3-minute rule” As soon as the worship service is dismissed, use the first three minutes to engage in conversation (more than “hi, good to see you.”) with someone you don’t already know. Why ? Because visitors will be out the door within about three minutes but your church friends will stand around after that.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN VISITOR AND GUEST
Wiersbe, W. W
Guest are expected, visitors are not
b. Guests are prepared for, visitors are not
Guests are prepared for, visitors are not
Guests are welcomed, visitors are tolerated
Guests are engaged, visitors are amused
Guests are engaged, visitors are amused
Guests are expected to return, visitors are expected to leave.
As we discovered last week, holy hospitality takes effort on our part.
It means that we take the initiative and act.
Remember we are the host, they are the guests.
Do not put the burden of engaging on our guests. Be the first to approach, do not wait on our guests to approach.
Furniture store illustration from Jeff Miller.
Let’s say you walked into a furniture store with a real need for a good sofa but none of the sales people approached you to introduce themselves or inquire about your need. Rather, all the sales people were otherwise engaged in office work, reading literature about their latest promotion, moving furniture to make the display more appealing to the eye, etc. They are still doing their job – but they are missing the most critical component of their goal: reach the customer, find out what they NEED, meet the NEED and produce the RESULT that is good both for customer and company.
Friendliness is necessary, but the goal of our hospitality should be to become relational.
Church members can extend hospitality to guests by offering to sit with them during the church service, giving them a tour of the church facilities, inviting them to lunch after service, or connecting with them later in the week.
Church members can extend hospitality to guests by offering to sit with them during the church service, giving them a tour of the church facilities, inviting them to lunch after service, or connecting with them later in the week.
After all Jesus was willing to change before He ever saw us, ....
But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him.
(TMSG) But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him.
Hospitality is doing whatever it takes to put others before ourselves.
Hospitality is doing whatever it takes to put others before ourselves.
WHAWELCOME GOD WANTS US TO HAVE FOR OTHERS
Top Ten Reasons guests do not return?
This response was my greatest surprise for two reasons. First, I was surprised how much guests are really uncomfortable during this time. Second, I was really surprised that it was the most frequent response. (If it’s been a while since you were new in a church, or you are naturally outgoing, you are probably very surprised by that.)
Greeting is not engaging.
Many are very uncomfortable during this time.
FAC has had ppl ask us to stop that.
do not return?
do not return?
Top ten ways churches drive away first-time guests -Thom Rainer Group
This response was anticipated. But the surprise was the number of respondents who included non-genuine friendliness in their answers. In other words, the guests perceived some of the church members were faking it. (I don’t really care that much that you are here, I’m more here for me.)
This response generated the greatest emotional reactions. If your church does not give a high priority to children, don’t expect young families to attend.
10. Dirty facilities. Some of the comments: “Didn’t look like it had been cleaned in a week.” “No trash cans anywhere.” Restrooms were worse than a bad truck stop.” “Pews had more stains than a Tide commercial.”
9. Members telling guests that they were in their seat or pew. Yes, this obviously still takes place in some churches.
It means that we take the initiative and act.
Remember you are the host, they are the guests.
8. Boring or bad service. My surprise was not the presence of this item. The surprise was that it was not ranked higher.
Do not put the burden of engaging on our guests. Be the first to approach, do not wait on guests to approach.
7. Insider church language. Most of the respondents were not referring to theological language as much as language that only the members know. My favorite example was: “The WMU will meet in the CLC in the room where the GAs usually meet.”
Furniture store illustration from Jeff Miller.
6. Poor signage. If you have been attending a church for a few weeks, you forget all about the signage. You don’t need it any more. But guests do. And they are frustrated when it’s not there.
5 . Bad church website. Most of the church guests went to the church website before they attended a worship service. Even if they attended the service after visiting a bad website, they attended with a prejudicial perspective. The two indispensable items guests want on a website are address and times of service. It’s just that basic.
4. No place to get information. If your church does not have a clear and obvious place to get information, you probably have lowered the chances of a return visit by half. There should also be someone to greet and assist guests at that information center as well.
3. Unsafe and unclean children’s area.
This response generated the greatest emotional reactions. If your church does not give a high priority to children, don’t expect young families to attend.
2. Unfriendly church members.
This response was anticipated. But the surprise was the number of respondents who included non-genuine friendliness in their answers. In other words, the guests perceived some of the church members were faking it. (I don’t really care that much that you are here, I’m more here for me.)
1. Having a stand up and greet one another time in the worship service.
This response was my greatest surprise for two reasons. First, I was surprised how much guests are really uncomfortable during this time. Second, I was really surprised that it was the most frequent response. (If it’s been a while since you were new in a church, or you are naturally outgoing, you are probably very surprised by that.)
Most of feel good about a handshake time-and it makes us feel good.
It gives us a sense of “togetherness.” And we naturally believe that everyone else would feel this way too.
Greeting is not the same as engaging.
Many are very uncomfortable during this time.
FAC has had ppl ask us to stop that.
FAC has had ppl ask us to stop that.
“Please remember that greeting times are not the same as conversation. Shaking hands and saying ‘Hi’ to seven people standing near me in a greeting time is not engaging. Most guests don’t perceive a greeting time like you might think they do: they tend to find it awkward and intimidating.” - Jeff Miller DS
“Please remember that greeting times are not the same as conversation. Shaking hands and saying ‘Hi’ to seven people standing near me in a greeting time is not engaging. Most guests don’t perceive a greeting time like you might think they do: they tend to find it awkward and intimidating.” - Jeff Miller DS
The six most important minutes of a church service, in a visitor’s eyes, are the three minutes before the service and the three minutes after the service.
This is the opportunity for church members introduce themselves, seeking genuinely to get to know the visitors, offer to answer any questions, introduce them to others who may have a connection (perhaps they live in the same neighborhood, are from the same hometown or state, or their children attend the same school), or any number of ways to demonstrate to the visitors that they as a church member care.
“The 3-minute rule” As soon as the worship service is dismissed, use the first three minutes to engage in conversation (more than “hi, good to see you.”) with someone you don’t already know. Why ? Because visitors will be out the door within about three minutes but your church friends will stand around after that.
ASK KELLY TO PUT IN BULLETIN AND ON ANNOUNCEMENT SLIDES SEMI-PERMANENTLY & GET MCKEENS TO ANNOUNCE WEEKLY-ISH.
Hospitality is almost a forgotten virtue in our society.
Church members can extend hospitality to guests by offering to sit with them during the church service, giving them a tour of the church facilities, inviting them to lunch after service, or connecting with them later in the week.
We need to be willing to change and make ourselves more friendly to the guest who come to our service.
b. We need to ask God what each of us can do to make sure we really are as friendly a church as we perceive we are
We need to be willing to change and make ourselves more friendly to the guest who come to our service.
After all Jesus was willing to change before He ever saw us, ....
(TMSG) But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him.
Take this with you...
Take this with you...
Don’t get too twisted up here. Trying to do too much to soon, means you will probably give up.
So go slow. Take one idea from today and use it immediately, then add others as you review these notes.
Don’t fear that if you mess up someone’s eternal soul hangs in the balance, it does not.
God has a plan and nothing can stop it. BUT, do not assume that your efforts are inconsequential.
They are not, and you and our church can miss blessings and miss out on seeing God work powerfully if we fail to engage the guests God brings through our doors.