NTC: Radical Love

I remember my first love.

I was in 4th grade I think. During lunch, me and my friends would talk about games, toys, and the girls in our class. It was a small class so we had to talk quietly because they were just down there. But we would each talk about the one that we thought was cutest and the one that we all agreed on was Laurie. We all wanted her to be our girlfriend, to get her was a high reach…but as you know my wife, reaching high is something I’ve always tried to do. At some point, she became my friend Kenny's girl, all the girls wanted him to be their boyfriend…he was awesome. Heck even I wanted him to be my boyfriend…Not like that…They were a perfect couple, but eventually they broke up, as happens all the time in elementary school love affairs right.

This was my opportunity. Right during science class I wrote the note.

Will you be my girlfriend? Check yes or no.

I put myself out there, and you know what…she didn’t bother returning the note. If I was like Jim Carey in Dumb and Dumber... I would have said, so you're saying I have a chance… but instead I knew I had no chance. I knew I had been rejected. Rebound relationships never work anyway.

But instead of licking my wounds and trying again. I did the opposite. I reacted. I told stories about her, I lied, I made stuff up. I tried to save my pride. I was hurt and embarrassed so I tried to hurt and embarrass her too.

You might say, that was pretty normal. Maybe so for a 5th grader. But not for an adult. The sad part is, for much of my life this was my reaction when I was hurt by someone, or wronged by someone, including my wife and family. When someone cuts me off in traffic, when someone goes through the express lane with 20 items when the limit is 12; when someone takes advantage of me financially.

When I’m wronged I am tempted to react in one of four ways:

1. Retaliate against the person or persons so as to hurt them in return. This action can range from speaking sarcasm, to expressing anger, to violence, or even to murder.

2. Gossip by telling others about what “they” did to you, when the others do not need to know. We tell anyone who will listen to us tell how bad they are and how we are such a victim.

3. Withdraw from my relationship with this person or the group. I simply abandon the relationship. WE see this in divorces, changing churches, jobs, friendships, etc.

4. Curse the offender in my thoughts or in maybe in my prayers, asking God to work negatively against them or by telling others of my feelings of them.

These are reactions to emotions. My feelings cause me to hurt others because the rule of life is that

Hurting people hurt people.

For many years I lived out of the hurt that others had brought into my life and because I was hurt, I chose to hurt others. It was what I knew. Fight fire with fire. React.

Do you ever find yourself needlessly hurting people with your words when they have wronged you? What if there was a way we could disconnect our behaviour from our feelings. What if we could treat people like children of God even when they act like spawns of satan.

I mean we are responsible for how we act, aren’t we - just as they are responsible for how they act. Our world is all about pointing fingers of blame, accusing others; what if we broke that pattern. So how do we love those who are hard to love? What would that look like?

That’s what we are going to discover today.

New Testament Challenge

Last week, Michelle invited you to sign up for the Challenge. Some of you did, some of you didn’t. It’s not too late to jump in.

I believe that for many of us, the Christian faith is like putting together a puzzle. We have an idea what it’s supposed to look like, but man is it hard to find the right piece when we need it.

In this series, I want us to get familiar with what the life is supposed to look like so the pieces are in place BEFORE we need them…wouldn’t that be great. Like today’s look at Radical Love. Imagine you going through life when you come across one of those people who need a special kind of love and BAM, there it is. Radical Love just falls into place. No need to hunt for the piece.

That’s what the challenge is all about, it has 4 elements.

2. I will strive to attend each Sunday service over these next 9 weeks.

3. I will allow God to speak into my life through His word and the messages over these next 9 weeks.

4. I will seek to take any steps, by the power of the Holy Spirit, that the Lord reveals to me over these next 9 weeks.

It’s not too late for you to jump in though. In fact, our small group bible studies that I am a part, will meet this week to discuss the first week’s readings.

Next week I hope you can come back to join us for a special treat. A local son, Ed Pickering, from North Point Marina is coming to share with us. Ed and his wife Amy run a nonprofit that is doing amazing work in Siera Leone, and I have asked him to come and share with us how the New Testament challenged them to Generosity.

Today we are looking at Jesus’s challenge to radical love.

It’s radical, because the love that Jesus talked a lot about was the Greek word was agape.

ἀγαπε

Agape is just one of the three words in the Greek that gets translated LOVE. Others are Eros, sexual love which isn’t in the NT. Phileō is the natural affection, with more feeling than reason, understood as brotherly love. Another is storgē is the familial love. But by far most often used in the NT is agape.

Defined as to love the undeserving, despite disappointment and rejection. Not a love of attraction or charm, but one of principal.

It’s the love of John 13:

John 13:34–35 NRSV

34 I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

These loves here are verbs, actions, not feelings. In fact agape has nothing to do with how we feel. This is what makes it radical love.

Radical Love

Agape love is showing love for those who don’t deserve it just as you would those who do. That’s why it’s radical. Normally we love people when we feel like it.... your friends, family, kids, church members, etc. But Jesus though calls us to Agape love which is about a decision, it’s about choosing to show love.

It was covered in our readings this week.

Matthew 5:43–48 NRSV

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

A passage all about love, but you didn’t hear about feelings. This love is disconnected from our feelings.

Jesus describes what radical love looks like?

The first thing that jumps out in this passage is that:

A Radical love chooses to Respond to evil Peacefully

Matthew 5:38–39 NIV84

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.

Earlier in the text from Matthew 5, Jesus said, if someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. Now this may not sound like love, but it sure is radical.

It’s choosing to respond, not react.

When we make this choice, one of two things can happen.

First, God can use our actions to transform them.

Paul taught in Romans 12:20 that when we choose to act peacefully, rather than react out of our hurt it can be transformational. Paul says we heap burning coals on them....but he goes on to tell us to overcome evil with good. We don’t overcome evil with evil. The only way to overcome it is with good. And this act of peace, can change the heart of the one doing evil.

Second, God uses that in our life to help us to be more like Christ.

What’s the worst that can happen? They don’t accept our offer of peace? They didn’t accept Jesus’s either, yet he remained peaceful. When people don’t respond peacefully to our offering, we too get an opportunity to become more like Christ, loving people who don’t respond.

This doesn’t have to be physical attacks, or grade school girls that do you wrong. it usually is verbal attacks.

Customers accuse you of things, coworkers blame you, people in traffic cut you off for no reason, it happens all the time.

Radical love responds peacefully and

A Radical love chooses to Forgive wrongs Freely

Matthew 6:14–15 NIV84

14 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

How do we forgive when we have experienced such pain from someone? Well first thing I want us to remember is that Forgiveness does not equal trust. They aren’t the same thing. Forgiveness is deciding not to hold a person accountable for something they did.

Forgiveness can be given…Trust must be earned.

Trust is different. We can forgive even an unrepentant person. Think about the people who crucified Jesus, they didnt repent, but Jesus payed,

Luke 23:34 NIV84

34 Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.

The same way Stephen prayed when he was stoned in the book of Acts of our reading this week,

Acts 7:60 NIV84

60 Then he fell on his knees and cried out, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” When he had said this, he fell asleep.

It’s radical to offer forgiveness to someone who we can’t yet trust, but that’s what radical love chooses to do. also

A Radical love chooses to View others Graciously

DO you find it easy to criticize people who do you wrong. I notice all sorts of things “other people” do.

Just this morning, it weather it was dealings with the hurricane in PR or men kneeling during the national anthem, it’s easy to find things wrong with the other person.

But the fact of the matter is, we choose what we see in people. We can see what’s wrong in people or we can choose to see what’s best in people. This week in our readings from Matthew 5, Jesus described how we see dust in someone else’s eye all the while we have a log in our own.

Radical love chooses to see the good in people. There might not be much, but there is where we radical love focuses it’s attention. Isn’t that what you want people to see in you. I know I make mistakes, but I want people to see my intentions, not my results.

I’m not askiing you to be fools to people’s shortcomings. If someone is awful at washing cars, we don’t keep taking our car to them expecting something better. IF they have been arrested for fraud, we don’t just hand over our retirement to manage. That’s not what I’m saying.

But agape love demands we stop judging their motives.

Radical love chooses to give people the benefit of the doubt, to see people graciously, to see the good in others or stop seeing bad motives in people. Because the fact is, you don’t know why people act the way they do until you really know them.

You may not realize that the reason they keep chasing women is because their mom abandoned them. The reason they let men treat them awful is because their dad treated them that way. The reason they horde their money is because they came from nothing. WE won’t know these things until we know them.

In the sermon on the mount, Jesus was calling us to a radical love. He taught that we were to live to a different standard, not just not avoiding bad things.

It’s never ok to cheat on your spouse, no matter how bad they treat you.

It’s never ok to steal, no matter how expensive it is.

These are pretty obvious. But Jesus also teaches us to stop dishing out what people deserve, but rather

Matthew 7:12 NIV84

12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

That is different. To love radically was to live differently, not like everyone else. Followers of Jesus had a different way to live.

Just as the spirit led Jesus to live for others, so the spirit leads us to live for others.

A Radical Love chooses to live sacrificially

Boy, its been a rough day. I know I would like it if I could just go home and relax. I wonder if Michelle had a rough day. I bet she sure would like it if she could relax. I’ll see how she is feeling and how I might be a blessing to her.

You know those neighbors who always have the police at their house, I bet they have a lot of issues going on that you don’t know about or understand completely. Maybe you could cut their grass and be a blessing to them. I bet things are hard for them.

Radical love calls us to live our lives out…not build them up.

Galatians 5:25 NIV84

Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.

These may sound impossible. What is it that keeps you from choosing to love when you are hurt. It’s not impossible, Jesus doesn’t call us to the impossible. God lives through us when God’s spirit lives in us. How do we come to have God alive in us? It happens when we put our faith in Jesus to save us, to transform us, and send God's holy Spirit to reshape our hearts.

How is the Lord leading you today to take a step toward radical love?

Perhaps God is calling you to Salvation. Calling you to confess your sin and ask him to save you, to become the lord of your life, to be the reason for your living.

Perhaps God is calling you to forgive someone who has wronged you. You have been carrying the burden for far too long and its time to be free. Lift it to God today, ask him to help you forgive them, and accept his help. He does.

Now prepare to show the forgiveness, maybe write a note saying hello, call and see how they are doing, make them a cake, take them to lunch, offer peace.

or perhaps God is calling you to a life of sacrifice. TO live your live for him, rather than yourself.

How ever God is calling you, as you live by the spirit, keep in step with the spirit.