The Chaos We Create

IMMOVABLE

THE CHAOS WE CREATE

Today we're beginning a new series called Immovable. I think it's no coincidence that I began working on this series during a month that chaos seems to move through our nation like a hurricane. I sorta have the same feeling like when you are moving and have everything packed up or in the process of packing and you just get all out of sorts and you life is in disarray — even more so than usual.

For example, you don't want to wait till the last minute to pack ... so the last couple of weeks in your old location, everything is in a box. Every time you need that thing you thought you wouldn't need until after the move, you have to go digging to find it.

And then when you get into the new location, for the next several days everything you need is in a box, or it's been tucked away somewhere and is now impossible to find.

Some people will say to me, "Moving is a simple process. You just have to be organized." And my response is typically, "Yeah, right. It never works that way for me, but I will gladly put you in charge of my next move."

I don't like moving because I don't like the chaos involved — the feeling that the real purpose of my life is being put on hold while I have to deal with all this minutiae, not to mention the fact that when I get to the box that contains my high school year book, it's all but impossible to resist the temptation to stop and read it. And so the chaos continues.

This new series is not about that kind of move. We're talking about developing an immovable quality of character. We're talking about becoming the kind of person who is so solidly planted in your emotional life, your spiritual life, your purpose in life, that no amount of chaos can move you.

In the Psalms, King David wrote ...

[God] alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken. ()

I like this particular of phrase. Greatly shaken. We may all get a little bit rattled from time-to-time, the ground may move beneath our feet and cause us to take an extra step or two to catch our balance ... But when God is your rock and your fortress, you will not be greatly shaken.

And that, in a nutshell, is the theme of this series.

If you want your life to be immovable, unshakeable, then build your life on the Lord Jesus Christ — let him be your rock and your fortress.

How do you do that?

That's the question we'll be answering throughout this series. We'll look at the different kinds of chaos we encounter, and we'll consider how to deal with each one.

Today I want to talk to you about the worst kind of chaos — the chaos we create for ourselves.

I'm speaking from experience. When my life has been most tumultuous, when I've been most shaken, rattled, and rolled, it's been the result of the decisions I've made. Sometimes it's decisions based on lack of wisdom. Sometimes it's decision based foolish willfulness — wrongheadedness. And there's a technical term for that: sin.

That's how it is for most of us. Most of the time — not always, but most of the time — the chaos in our lives is a product of our own creation.

I saw a sign posted on Facebook recently that said something along the lines of, "Everything happens for  a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you make bad decisions."

That might not be the most diplomatic way of saying it, but it rings true. When our lives become chaotic, we each have to own up to our own role in the chaos we've created — or life will never get better.

Today I want to tell you about a character in the Bible who created chaos in his life in a big, big way. I'm talking about King David — whom God described as a man "after my own heart." This is the King David who took down Goliath, who established Jerusalem as the capital of his kingdom, who led Israel into victorious battle, and who wrote most of the book of Psalms — including the psalm that everyone knows:

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. ()

This great leader, King David, did things that you would not expect a man of God to do.

It began late one afternoon when he was taking a walk on the roof of his house — that reference may seem strange to us, but it was not so strange back then; the houses of the wealthy had large roofs that were built almost like a garden. David took a walk on the roof of his house and he saw in the distance a beautiful woman sunbathing.

Her name was Bathsheba. It did not matter to David that she was another man's wife — the wife of one his soldiers. He sent for her, and he seduced her. Her husband wasn't home; he was in battle at the time — where David himself should have been. A few weeks after their encounter, Bathsheba informed David that she was pregnant.

As I said, her husband, Uriah, was away from home, engaged in battle. David sent for him. When Uriah arrived in Jerusalem, David told him to go home and spend some time with his wife. Uriah protested, saying that is wrong for him to be with his wife when his fellow soldiers were engaged in battle. So he didn't go home to Bathsheba.

David then gave Uriah a sealed letter, telling him to return to the battlefiend and deliver the letter to his commanding officer. The letter gave instructions to the commander to put Uriah on the front lines and withdraw the other troops — ensuring that Uriah would be killed.

The commander followed the orders and Uriah's life was taken. Soon after, being a widow, Bathsheba was free to marry David. A few months later, their son was born.

David thought he had gotten away with it. He would soon find out differently. This led to a confrontation from the prophet Nathan. And, for David, it led to a time of soul-searching, repentance, and ultimately restoration.

During this time David wrote — containing some of the most personal and poignant words in Scripture. Today we'll take a look at some of these verses, as well as a few others, as we consider How To Correct the Self-Inflicted Chaos.

I doubt that anyone here today has committed the same kind of sin that David committed, especially conspiracy to commit murder. Maybe our sins aren't bad as his, but you can be sure of this: All of us have invited chaos into our lives at one time another through our stubborn, sinful, willful disobedience.

And when you play games with sin, you're bound to lose. It never fails. There's only one thing sin can do, and that is wreak havoc. Chaos is sin's middle name.

Solomon said...

The wicked falls by his own wickedness. ()

He's saying that sin brings about its own punishment. We've all heard people say, "God's gonna getcha for that." The fact is, that God doesn't have to "getcha" for that. Sin will getcha on its own. When you sin, it inevitably leads to chaos.

So, what do we do about the chaos? Here are three steps that we each need to take. If you want your chaotic life to become less chaotic, here are three things you need to do.

First...

1. You need to confront the cause.

You need to ask yourself, "What created this mess that I'm in?" Specifically: "What did I do to contribute to this mess?"

In other words, "Where did I go wrong?"

The temptation, all too often, is to place the blame for our problems elsewhere.

It's not my fault that I lost my temper; you provoked me. It's not my fault that I committed sexual sin; she tempted me. It's not my fault that I got fired for insubordination; my boss in an idiot. And on and on and on.

Refusing to acknowledge your role in the chaos only ensures that the chaos will continue ... because nothing ever changes.

So, if you're in the midst of a mess, you need to ask yourself: What role did I play in all of this?

If the cause of the chaos is your sinful disobedience, you need to acknowledge it, confess, and repent.

David said...

3 For I know my transgressions and my sin is ever before me.

4 Against you, you only have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight...

That's why David begins this psalm saying...

1 Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love, according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions.

2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin!

You cannot un-chaos your life until you're ready to own up to your responsibility in everything you're dealing with.

The good news is that when you own up to it — when you bring it to God and confess it — the Bible says that he cleanses you from all unrighteousness. You may still have a mess to deal with, but now you can deal with it through his power and with his help.

Some may say: My life is like a roller-coaster right now, but it's not the result of willful disobedience, it's because I made some choices that I shouldn't have made ... choices that turned out to be not so smart. I wasn't trying to do wrong — in fact, I was trying to do right, but I just made a bad choice. I took the wrong job, I hired the wrong person, I made a wrong investment, and so on. It wasn't intentional, but it has really wreaked havoc for me.

The process for dealing with this is the same.

You confront the cause of the chaos. You acknowledge your role in all that's going on around you.

Once when my car was broken into, and my stereo was stolen, and my wallet was taken out of the console ... I could have blamed the police for not having my car on 24 hour surveillance; I could have blamed the building owner for not having better lighting; I could have blamed the criminal himself ... but I had to acknowledge that of all the cars in the parking lot, mine was the only one broken into ... probably because I left my doors unlocked.

Leaving your doors unlocked isn't a sin ... but it's not wise. So while I was canceling credit cards and standing in line at the DMV and dealing with the insurance company, I had to remind myself again and again: You played a role in all of this.

Acknowledging your sinful behavior and your not-so-wise decisions is the first step toward creating a less chaotic future for yourself.

The second step...

2. You need to correct your course.

In addition to asking, "Where did I go wrong," we need to ask two more related questions.

a.) What could I have done differently?

b.) What should I do now?

The answers to these two questions will often be similar.

I could have locked my door when I parked in a dark parking lot in a bad neighborhood, and it probably would have avoided this mess. In the future, I should lock my car. And maybe even park under a street light.

When things began to get heated, and the misunderstanding began to escalate ... maybe you could have stopped talking and started listening...maybe you could have asked for a short break so you would have time to bridle on your temper ... and then you might not be dealing with major conflict in an important relationship. And in the future, you should do the same, because hostility and tension in a relationship just isn't worth the price you end up paying.

When David had this encounter with Bathsheba, he shouldn't have been at home. He should have been on the battlefield with the rest of the army.

In the spring of the year, the time when kings go out to battle, David sent Joab, and his servants with him, and all Israel. ()

As a military leader, David should have been with his troops — but that's not where he was. He was at home, living in luxury, and girl-watching.

Also, when David first saw Bathsheba from a distance, he could have turned away. He could have called one of his own wives to come spend time with him. Yes, I said "wives." He had many — eight of whom we know by name. David could have turned away and he should have turned away.

Here's what I'm saying: If you want to minimize the chaos in your life, then you need to develop a strategy in advance for dealing with temptation. You need to develop a strategy in advance for making tough choices and difficult decisions. Decide beforehand how you will handle a given situation, and stick to your plan.

During a football game, if a team suddenly faces third and 12, the coach doesn't stand on the sidelines, scratching his head and saying, "Third and 12? Third and 12? What are we going to do?" No, the coach already has a plan in place for every possible down-and-yardage situation. When third and 12 comes up, he's got a guideline to go by.

If you know that you have a fight with your wife every time she does XYZ, then put a plan in place: Next time it happens, this is what I will do, this is how I will respond.

If you have a history of making rash decisions that come back to haunt you, then put a plan in place: Next time I feel pressured to make a decision too soon, these are the steps I will take.

If your past behavior keeps creating chaos in your life, then it is time to correct your course. Ask yourself: What could I have done differently last time? What should I do differently next time? If you'll think it through and follow through, you'll find these chaotic situations don't come up nearly as often, and don't hang around nearly as long.

There's one more step that I encourage you to take. You need to confront the cause of the chaos, you need to correct your course, and you need to...

3. You need to create accountability.

After David had committed adultery and murder, the prophet Nathan came to him and rebuked him. He told him that the Lord was going to deal with him about his sin — and he did.

Now, Nathan didn't just walk in off the street and start scolding David. He was a court prophet. He already had a relationship with David. He already had credibility with David — so God used a man that David trusted to confront him with his sin.

One thing David did right during this entire debacle is that he was willing to listen to the counsel of Godly men. Nathan's words got his attention and David began the process of repentance.

Each and every one of us here today need some king of accountability partner in the areas that matter most — someone who can speak into truth into your life when you most need to hear it.

How do you choose an accountability partner? How do decide who will have the freedom to call you on the carpet when you need it?

There are three things to look for.

One, you want to choose a person of integrity. Someone whose own life in order. This is most often the difference between offering those who offer wise counsel and those who merely meddle. If their own life is a mess, they're probably not in any shape to help you straighten out yours.

Paul said...

If anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. ()

Choose an accountability partner who qualifies as "spiritual" — someone who walks the talk.

Two, you want to choose a person who is committed to you. I'm talking about a person who cares more about your holiness than your happiness. Someone who has the courage to say, "This decision may make you a little unhappy for a while, but ultimately it will help you become more like Jesus — and your ultimate holiness is so much more important than your immediate happiness."

This is why King Solomon said...

Faithful are the wounds of a friend. ()

You need someone who has the courage to say what may be difficult to say and may be painful to hear ... but you know that their words are driven by friendship and loyalty.

Three, you want to choose a person who is equally accountable to you. A person who respects your opinion and your perspective as you respect theirs. Solomon wrote...

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. ()

It's a reciprocal relationship. This is not a person who says from a distance, "This is what you need to do." This is a person who is committed to you, and is willing to say, "Let's walk through this together. Let's get God's wisdom on this matter and put his principles into practice and get you back on track, without the constant turmoil."

This kind of person is a rare find. They are few and far between, but just like God sent Nathan to David, he will send a partner of accountability into your life.

CONCLUSION

Earlier this week while I was traveling I visited a friend who has lived in the same house for almost 40 years. For 40 years he has been spending his free time at home, tinkering with this and that — constantly making improvements here and there.

And he's always busy with something.

When weeds come up, he pulls them. When a fence needs to mended, he mends it. If the garbage disposal goes out, he'll call the plumber or he'll crawl under the sink with a flashlight and a wrench.

It's a constant process of taking care of his home, and he's been doing it for almost 40 years. As a result, his house is comfortable and organized and well-cared for.

After I finish each move, and everything is unpacked, I break down the Uhaul boxes and stick them in the attic, because I know I'll need them again.

But my friend — I don't think he's ever even bought a Uhaul box. Why would he? He sure doesn't need one; he's not going anywhere. He's immovable.

His home is the way we want our lives to be.

Here's what it takes to make that happen: A day-in and day-out commitment to resolve every chaotic situation that comes up, as it comes up.

This means that when we lose the battle with sin, we don't wallow in it, we confront it. We confess and repent and move on.

When we make less-than-wise decisions that turn our lives upside down, we don't languish there forever, we go about setting things straight.

This means we ask ourselves the hard questions and we listen to the right people — and we respond to the chaos with day-to-day obedience.

You don't have to live your entire life like you're in the middle of a major move, where everything is out of order and you spend all your time trying to make sense of the mess.

You can overcome the chaos — even the chaos you've created for yourself. When you confront the chaos head-on, asking the right questions, listening to to the right people, and following up with the right steps, you will experience a restoration of stability and peace.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

ALTERNATE CONCLUSION

You will notice that a number of the supplemental verses in today's message came from the book of Proverbs. Proverbs was written by Solomon — King Solomon — whom the Bible calls the wisest man who ever lived.

Do you know who Solomon's parents were?

David and Bathsheba.

What does that tell you?

After David messed up his life big-time, he was able to restore the chaos. He sought forgiveness and restoration, he married Bathsheba, and he gave her a son — a son destined for greatness.

This in no way diminishes the gravity of David's sin, but it tells us this: God can take the most out-of-control situation, the most chaotic life, and bring it back to peace and stability.

If you're in the middle of a chaotic moment in your life today, I want you to know that God can redeem your situation. His mercy is that big, and his grace is that strong. You don't live the rest of your life in a perpetual state of pandemonium. God can help you get back on track.

You can overcome the chaos — even the chaos you've created for yourself. When you confront it head-on, asking the right questions, listening to to the right people, and following up with the right steps, you will experience — through the power of God — a restoration of stability and peace.