My Testimony

I was born in Baltimore Maryland, my father’s company transferred him from Alamance County to Maryland while my mother was pregnant with yours truly. I was a premature baby weighing in at 2 pounds (you can see I’ve come a long way). My parents moved back to Alamance County when I was about one year old. I was raised on highway 49 north of Haw River near Mebane Shrubbery. I had one brother and sister who along with my parents have all passed away. I attended Pleasant Grove Elementary School and Graham High School.

I wasn’t interested in learning and usually made low grades except for the times the teacher’s showed grace. I couldn’t focus on things that I thought would never be needed, so my mind wandered a lot through school. Somehow, I finish high school though not exactly on time. I found that I would need about an extra year to finish so I turn to the Technical Institute of Alamance, currently ACC. I was able to get my high school diploma in about six months. It was there that I started taking an interest in learning and after that I completed a two-year program in electricity at Guilford Technical Institute. It was then that I labored to learn and made good grades.

After that, I got a job in electrical construction for a couple of years. Then I worked for PJ Coble Construction for about a year then went into house building where I continued until the housing crash of 2008. Buddy Warner got me a job at Woodworker’s Supply in Graham of which I remained for six years until they shut the doors in 2016. Currently, I’m self-employed as an owner of Country Acres Mobile Home Park of which I inherited from my mother.

As far as I can remember rarely did I have thoughts of God. My parents would rarely take us to church, maybe on Easter and Christmas. I remember going to Vacation Bible School at an early age, making things from popsicle sticks and coloring with crayons.

My first interest in God is when I walked into my brother’s bedroom and he was reading the Bible. I asked him what was going on in which he replied that he started attending meetings at someone’s house. It was called something like Teens for Christ. Though I never attended with him it did spark an interest in me. I was around 14 years of age then. I started reading the Bible for long periods at a time but couldn’t remember much of it, so I started copying the Bible with pencil and paper thinking It would get into my mind better. It seems that I finished most of Genesis and gave up my interest in God.

A few years later I got my license and started drinking, driving and smoking pot. About a year later I started having an interest in God. I can’t remember what stoked that interest, probably thinking there was more to life than what I was doing. I went to Faith Book Store and bought a bible and a necklace with a big cross on it. I was excited about my newfound direction in my life. I went to work for my mother, she owned a gift store, in Chapel Hill wearing that big cross around my neck, it went well with my afro, I looked sort of like a white Jimmy Hendricks. In those days, I kind of fit in because those were the hippie days and in Chapel Hill about anything was accepted. I remember going to work and stopping to help a woman fix her flat tire and feeling so good about it. I can’t remember if I attended church, I don’t think so. I was sincere in what I was doing but I didn’t really have an understanding of the Bible. I thought to become a Christian that I should start doing good things and quit the bad things, so that’s what I did. I still had a major problem but didn’t realized it at the time. I was still in bondage to the flesh. I believed but not true bible belief. A cardinal mistake: thinking to become a Christian all you do is start doing things that Christians do.

It was similar to a bible character whose name was Simon the sorcerer. The Bible says that Philip went down to the city of Samaria preaching the Word and performing many miracles. The Bible says that many people heard and saw the miracles that took place and there was great joy there. There was a man there name Simon the Sorcerer who heard and saw the miracles and also believed and was baptized. The Bible emphasizes that he had his eyes on the miracles and signs that were done. This was similar to what he was doing before when he practiced his sorceries, for the Bible says that when he performed his sorcery that the people said he had the power of God. But now Simon saw the real power of God and was amazed. He wanted the same thing so he believed and was baptized continuing to behold the miracles.

Then the Apostles heard about the work in Samaria and Peter and John went there. They realize that none there had received the Holy Spirit after believing so they lay their hands on them and the Holy Spirit falls on them. Before they get to Simon, he offered Peter money for the same power that he may be able to do the same thing. Peter discerned he was lost and said to the man, “May your money perish with you, because you thought you could buy the gift of God with money! You have no part or share in this ministry, because your heart is not right before God. Repent of this wickedness and pray to the Lord in the hope that he may forgive you for having such a thought in your heart. For I see that you are full of bitterness and captive to sin.”” (, NIV)

The Bible addresses true and false belief, true discipleship and false. Simon believed but he skipped the repentance part. Notice what Peter says, that he was still full of bitterness and captive to sin. Simon didn’t realize that what he was asking of Peter revealed his wicked heart. He believed because he wanted the gift of signs and miracles, he was never interested in or saw the need for repentance. All he wanted was a new bang for his previous profession.

In the gospel of John, John writes the account where Jesus reveals false discipleship. This account is where Jesus is talking to the crowd in the synagogue in Capernaum about the requirement to drink His blood and eat His flesh. It says that many of His disciples complained because His saying was too difficult to understand. They kept their complaint to themselves but Jesus knew what their thoughts were.

Have class follow in their Bibles. Use the word “disciple” at underlines.

John 6:61 NKJV

When Jesus knew in Himself that His disciples complained about this, He said to them, “Does this offend you?

John 6:61 NKJV

When Jesus knew in Himself that His disciples complained about this, He said to them, “Does this offend you?

it says, “When Jesus knew in Himself that His disciples complained about this, He said to them, “Does this offend you? What then if you should see the Son of Man ascend where He was before? It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing. The words that I speak to you are spirit, and they are life. But there are some of you who do not believe.” For Jesus knew from the beginning who they were who did not believe, and who would betray Him.” (, NKJV)

Jesus explained to them that He was using a tangible, material illustration to teach a spiritual truth. Yet some of the disciple’s faith was superficial, not biblical faith. They were following Jesus because of His fame and miracles, not because of truth. If we want to see “counterfeit faith” reveal itself, just preach more difficult truth of the Bible, like election or sovereign grace, and soon or later they will be offended and scatter. We don’t have to be intentionally offensive, Paul said in that the preaching of the cross causes offense. If Jesus’ teaching about His blood and flesh wasn’t enough, He goes on and says to them that salvation is by the sovereign election of God. He wanted them to know if they forsook him that it was because they were not chosen by God. He says in verse 65, “Therefore I have said to you [His offended disciples] that no one can come to Me unless it has been granted to him by My Father.”” (, NKJV)

it says, “When Jesus knew in Himself that His disciples complained about this, He said to them, “Does this offend you? What then if you should see the Son of Man ascend where He was before? It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing. The words that I speak to you are spirit, and they are life. But there are some of you who do not believe.” For Jesus knew from the beginning who they were who did not believe, and who would betray Him.” (, NKJV) Jesus explained to them that He was using a tangible, material illustration to teach a spiritual truth. Yet, some of the disciple’s faith was superficial, not biblical faith. They were following Jesus because of His fame and miracles, not because of truth. If we want to see “counterfeit faith” reveal itself, just preach more difficult truth of the Bible, like election or sovereign grace, and soon or later they will be offended and scatter. We don’t have to be intentionally offensive, Paul said in that the preaching of the cross causes offense. If Jesus’ teaching about His blood and flesh wasn’t enough, He goes on and says to them that salvation is by the sovereign election of God. He wanted them to know if they forsook him that it was because they were not chosen by God. He says in verse 65, “Therefore I have said to you [His offended disciples] that no one can come to Me unless it has been granted to him by My Father.”” (, NKJV)

Jesus explained to them that He was using a tangible, material illustration to teach a spiritual truth. Yet some of the disciple’s faith was superficial, not biblical faith. They were following Jesus because of His fame and miracles, not because of truth. If we want to see “counterfeit faith” reveal itself, just preach more difficult truth of the Bible, like election or sovereign grace, and soon or later they will be offended and scatter. We don’t have to be intentionally offensive, Paul said in that the preaching of the cross causes offense. If Jesus’ teaching about His blood and flesh wasn’t enough, He goes on and says to them that salvation is by the sovereign election of God. He wanted them to know if they forsook him that it was because they were not chosen by God. He says in verse 65, “Therefore I have said to you [His offended disciples] that no one can come to Me unless it has been granted to him by My Father.”” (, NKJV)

Jesus explained to them that He was using a tangible, material illustration to teach a spiritual truth. Yet some of the disciple’s faith was superficial, not biblical faith. They were following Jesus because of His fame and miracles, not because of truth. If we want to see “counterfeit faith” reveal itself, just preach more difficult truth of the Bible, like election or sovereign grace, and soon or later they will be offended and scatter. We don’t have to be intentionally offensive, Paul said in that the preaching of the cross causes offense. If Jesus’ teaching about His blood and flesh wasn’t enough, He goes on and says to them that salvation is by the sovereign election of God. He wanted them to know if they forsook him that it was because they were not chosen by God. He says in verse 65, “Therefore I have said to you [His offended disciples] that no one can come to Me unless it has been granted to him by My Father.”” (, NKJV)

Jesus explained to them that He was using a tangible, material illustration to teach a spiritual truth. Yet, some of the disciple’s faith was superficial, not biblical faith. They were following Jesus because of His fame and miracles, not because of truth. If we want to see “counterfeit faith” reveal itself, just preach more difficult truth of the Bible, like election or sovereign grace, and soon or later they will be offended and scatter. We don’t have to be intentionally offensive, Paul said in that the preaching of the cross causes offense. If Jesus’ teaching about His blood and flesh wasn’t enough, He goes on and says to them that salvation is by the sovereign election of God. He wanted them to know if they forsook him that it was because they were not chosen by God. He says in verse 65:

“Therefore I have said to you [His offended disciples] that no one can come to Me unless it has been granted to him by My Father.”” (, NKJV)

There was a movie called “A Few Good Men” in which Jack Nicolson said, “… you can't handle the truth”. That was the case with some of those disciples, they had tolerated Jesus’ words but this time it was too much. They couldn’t handle the truth any longer. Then verse 66 says, ”From that time many of His disciples went back and walked with Him no more.” (, NKJV) These disciples are what we call apostate believers. They never went through the repentance process, whatever they went through wasn’t scriptural. Who knows what was going on in their hearts, they probably didn’t know themselves. Jeremiah says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it?” (, NKJV) The natural man cannot know his heart, his heart will trick him every time.

Back to my testimony. I was sincerely trying to be a Christian while still in bondage to the flesh, this was a recipe for failure and apostasy. I was trying to develop a Christian testimony in front of my friends while I saw them become more distant. Trying to hold on to a Christian testimony became more and more difficult as the pressures of the world and the desires of my flesh were becoming stronger day by day. Without having the power of Christ working in my heart these pressures came to a head. I couldn’t hold on any longer. One night that struggle peaked, and in distress I entered an old church way out in the rural part of the county about one o’clock in the morning. I found a door that was unlocked and went in and begged God to appear to me but that never happened. I then ask God to give me hell on earth so that I might not have to go there. So, I turned away from God that night. The apostle Peter describes this way, “For if, after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and overcome, the latter end is worse for them than the beginning. For it would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than having known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered to them. But it has happened to them according to the true proverb: “A dog returns to his own vomit,” and, “a sow, having washed, to her wallowing in the mire.”” (, NKJV)

After turning back to the old lifestyle everything was back to normal. Quickly, I gained back by friends and girlfriend (which was not my wife) and the party life resumed. As time passed little did I notice that I desired to experience sin deeper. The Bible says that there is pleasure in sin only for a while, then what? I didn’t consider repentance an option. I tried new avenues that drove me deeper into sin, their new pleasures began to fade but I thought not to repent. The deeper I went brought new fruit-misery. Misery bring new attempts for pleasure. But nothing satisfied so I became more miserable and depressed. The wages of sin is death and I was too foolish to recognize it. This process went on for about ten years. Ten years of this left me to wallow in misery. This misery put me in a place of paranoia where I thought everyone could see misery on my face. I was seeking to be more isolated because of paranoia and became more depressed. I came to a point of considering suicide but fear kept me from it.

For ten years there was absolutely no thoughts of God in my mind. One afternoon after work I was going out to party. As I was getting dressed I raked my coins off the dresser and put them in my pocket. It was then, a Divine spark snapped in my mine. In an instant, I went from not thinking about God to thinking how deep in sin I had gone. I thought it strange but moved on. This began a process that lasted a few more days. These thoughts about how I had offended God grew stronger by the hour. After a couple of days of struggle and resisting, a horror was developing, I became convinced that God intended to kill me. One day after work, I was in a horrified state. I was driving home from work and a strong storm was overhead with burst of lightning and thunder. I remember sitting in the van afraid to run to the apartment convince God wrath was about to consume me. I felt like a trapped animal. I made it to the apartment but the conviction and fear had not subsided. Almost beside myself, I was considering the options. The only option I came up with was to either cast myself upon the mercy of God or I would die. I waited until I couldn’t wait any longer. I had two options, death or life starred me in the face and it wasn’t going away. So, I went upstairs to the bedroom, took a big breath and fell on the floor begging God for mercy. As I was praying I found no relief but great fear. Probably, a half an hour had passed and there was no relief. I stopped praying and thought that there was no hope because I had sinned beyond hope, the pressure of wrath was still upon me. I began to make my way downstairs but I stopped while my thoughts intensified. It was now or never I kept thinking over and over. I became more desperate to gain the mercy of God. I went back into the bedroom crying for the mercy of God. I told God I couldn’t stop begging until I knew He had forgiven me. This went on for about fifteen minutes and prayer became less desperate as I felt the burden drop off. I stopped praying as I considered what was going on. I went from absolute dread to absolute joy in a moment. I became convinced that God had cleansed me from my sin and now I belonged to Him. All I could do is bask in the glory of God with unspeakable joy, my desperate prayer had turned into praise and wonder at what God had just done. I couldn’t leave the bedroom. I thought my bedroom had been filled with the glory of God and I didn’t want to leave. I’m not exaggerating. I thought God was going to take me to heaven and I was ready. This joy and ecstasy lasted till early in the morning before I finally fell asleep. That morning I walked out the front door a new man. Depression and paranoia were gone and was replaced with joy and a blazing hope. Drinking and partying were gone and I didn’t desire it, all I could think of was God and what Christ had done for me. A new door of reality had opened, the Bible calls it being born again. The things of God had become reality and the world had become deception and a snare of the Devil. I began to look at God’s creation with amazement. The rock n’ roll music I constantly listened to was replace with the sounds of creation. I was astounded with the variety of things God created and I continue to be so today.

I began to realize that the Holy Spirit was in me and would never leave me. There were times when I was drawn back into the old life but the Holy Spirit would convince me otherwise. Countless times I’ve strayed but He is faithful to redirect my path. Now, there’s a power working in me that was not there before when I left God, at that old country church that night, there was nothing pulling back except guilt. But praise be to God, now I have the Holy Spirit who works in me both to will and do His good pleasure and what a joy it is to do His good pleasure.

One day, soon after I got saved, my brother opened the Bible and from the book of Hebrews showed me the verses that speaks of Jesus being God. I read the verses but didn’t understand what he was saying. When I got home I opened my Bible to the same verses and read them many times over and over. Suddenly, as if a light had been turned on, I saw it! I continue reading them again as conviction took hold. I was overwhelmed with excitement and joy! Jesus being God, I never heard that before! I’ll never forget that revelation God gave me.

There’s one tidbit I look back on with amazement. When I got save I had no connection with a church or a person who witnessed to me. One day, I blindly walked into a Christian book store looking for a book to buy. I had absolutely no idea what to buy. I browsed and randomly pick out a book. I didn’t know the author or the title of the book. It was my first Christian book. The book was “The Sovereignty of God” by A.W. Pink. I look back with amazement how God led me when no man was guiding me.

Soon after, I experienced my first sin with pride. I was determined to find a good church to attend so I bought a new suit and tie. Sunday morning, I put on my suit and tie and look in the mirror and said, “man you look just like an evangelist” I turned to walk out and hit my head on a shelf that was sticking out and nearly knock me out. I recovered and said, “man is this what happens when a Christian sins?”

Pam and I visited several churches but not with any satisfaction. We started attending my brother’s father-in-law’s church in Hillsborough. The name of the church was Calvary Baptist Church. I was baptized there. One Sunday we had homecoming and a special speaker that afternoon. We were in the church waiting for the speaker. We waited looking at one another wondering where he was. I was sitting on the back pew where the entrance door was. I heard the door knob wiggling back and forth, the speaker couldn’t get the door open. I went and opened the door and there was this impressive man who said to me, “do ya’ll usually lock the door on the speaker when he’s late?” He got to the pulpit, introduced himself and said, “my name is pastor Greg Barkman”. I was arrested by the truth he was preaching, I remember squeezing the back of the pew in front of me as I listened. Afterwards, we visited other churches but also had a deep desire for more truth like Pastor Barkman preached. Somehow, I saw where Beacon Baptist was having a special speaker. His name was Rod Bell. I went and sat, I think on the third row. The title of his message was “Rotten Boards Over Hell”. He described when they were kids they found a place where there were boards laying on the ground. They could jump on them and acted kind of like a trampoline. Unknowing, the boards were placed over a deep pit. They were jumping on the rotten boards and at any moment the rotten boards could have snapped plummeting them to the bottom of the pit. He related that to the world who conduct their lives unknowingly on rotten boards over hell ready to plummet at any moment. I got so scared at the message that I raise my hand at the invitation. A man took me into the sound room who shared with me the “Romans Road”. I told him that I believe everything he said and told him I was sure I was saved but became scared at the message. It was there that started my friendship with Gerald Counts, that was 37 years ago. And the rest is history. Praise God for His amazing, sovereign grace.