Good News Marriage

-33

Instructions for Christian Households

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.

24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washingwith water through the word,

27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wivesas their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body.

31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.

33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Introduction: Adjusting to Marriage Video - Ask the Kids for Advice for this Couple.

Is there a Not-So Good News Marriage?

http://christandpopculture.com/drew-barrymore-celebrity-marriage-after-divorce/

Our World seems to be re-defining marriage in a whole variety of ways, I am not just talking about the more recent moves to legalize same-sex marriage in our culture, but all marriage is often being conceived of in ways that fit our desires.

When I talk about Not-So Good News Marriage, I am talking about conceptions of marriage that differ from the Gospel’s vision of marriage is. To be sure, there are some fantastic marriages out their that are not of a believing couple.

Paul’s context is, however, similar, and in some ways very different then ours.

The Household Code of Aristotle

Of household management we have seen that there are three parts–one is the rule of a master over slaves, which has been discussed already, another of a father, and the third of a husband. A husband and father, we saw, rules over wife and children, both free, but the rule differs, the rule over his children being a royal, over his wife a constitutional rule. For although there may be exceptions to the order of nature, the male is by nature fitter for command than the female, just as the elder and full-grown is superior to the younger and more immature. But in most constitutional states the citizens rule and are ruled by turns, for the idea of a constitutional state implies that the natures of the citizens are equal, and do not differ at all. Nevertheless, when one rules and the other is ruled we endeavor to create a difference of outward forms and names and titles of respect, which may be illustrated by the saying of Amasis about his foot-pan. The relation of the male to the female is of this kind, but there the inequality is permanent. The rule of a father over his children is royal, for he rules by virtue both of love and of the respect due to age, exercising a kind of royal power. And therefore Homer has appropriately called Zeus ‘father of Gods and men,’ because he is the king of them all. For a king is the natural superior of his subjects, but he should be of the same kin or kind with them, and such is the relation of elder and younger, of father and son. (Politics, Book 1, XII)

Now, it is obvious that the same principle applies generally, and therefore almost all things rule and are ruled according to nature. But the kind of rule differs; the freeman rules over the slave after another manner from that in which the male rules over the female, or the man over the child; although the parts of the soul are present in an of them, they are present in different degrees. For the slave has no deliberative faculty at all; the woman has, but it is without authority, and the child has, but it is immature. So it must necessarily be supposed to be with the moral virtues also; all should partake of them, but only in such manner and degree as is required by each for the fulfillment of his duty. Hence the ruler ought to have moral virtue in perfection, for his function, taken absolutely, demands a master artificer, and rational principle is such an artificer; the subjects, oil the other hand, require only that measure of virtue which is proper to each of them. Clearly, then, moral virtue belongs to all of them; but the temperance of a man and of a woman, or the courage and justice of a man and of a woman, are not, as Socrates maintained, the same; the courage of a man is shown in commanding, of a woman in obeying. And this holds of all other virtues, as will be more clearly seen if we look at them in detail, for those who say generally that virtue consists in a good disposition of the soul, or in doing rightly, or the like, only deceive themselves. Far better than such definitions is their mode of speaking, who, like Gorgias, enumerate the virtues. All classes must be deemed to have their special attributes; as the poet says of women,

Silence is a woman’s glory,

but this is not equally the glory of man. (from Politics, Book 1, XIII)

So What would a Good News Marriage look like in Paul’s Context and ours?

A Good News Marriage is Submitting and Loving Your Spouse IN CHRIST.

1.It is IN Christ

C.S. Lewis

One of the most memorable books I have ever read is A Severe Mercy. This is the story of Sheldon Vanauken and his wife Davy, who happened to be friends of C. S. Lewis. This couple was deeply in love and they sought to build the ideal marriage. They would only read books that the other wanted to read, and always tried to do everything together. But then a third person came along and interfered with this perfect relationship. That person was God. Davy began to get to know the Lord, and began to love Him. Sheldon became jealous, in his mind he didn’t want to share his wife with God. It was only after Davy’s premature death that Sheldon realized how foolish his attitude was. He also came to understand that the perfect marriage is not just when both partners love each other, but when both husband and wife love God even more than they love their spouse.

2.It is utilizing the resources of the Gospel, In Christ, the Holy Spirit, the Reality.

A.By loving our Spouse -

The argument from What Jesus did

The argument from being one flesh

4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. -

In essence you give yourself up for that person - Cindy the Seminary years.

B.By submitting to one another

Wedding Candle

Frequently in the wedding service we have the ceremony of lighting the unity candle by the bride and groom. The couple each takes a small burning candle, representing their solitary life thus far, and together they light the large, center, wedding candle. When they put their small candles back into their holders, they can either extinguish them, or leave them burning to represent their unique personalities. During the wedding it is interesting to see whether they leave the individual candles aglow or put them out. At a recent wedding, the bride and groom put the individual candles back into their holders with the flames burning. Then the bride, with an impish gleam in her eye, bent over and blew out her husband’s candle. The congregation burst into laughter. Later, one fellow commented: “During the marriage ceremony two become one --- on the honeymoon they discover which one.” (from Parables, etc 5/83 pg. 5)

One another - Voluntarily subjecting yourself.

Headship is functional/Societal - So in a more egalitarian society - gift-oriented.

Marriage as team sport

Marriage is a team sport. Think of a basketball team: The coach must spend hours scouting, preparing offensive and defensive strategies, finding out the strengths and weaknesses of his own players, and making a game plan in order to take his players to a game, but unless the players submit to his leadership, they will not win. Neither the coach nor the players can be done without, but neither is more or less important than the other- they are a team. And such is the case with marriage.

10 Simple, but powerful ways to build your marriage - Tami Myer StartMarriageRight.com - Before it starts.

No Sarcasm

Use Your Best Manners

Become Fluent in your Spouse’s love language.

Do Not Assume Your Spouse’s Motivation

Fast and Pray for Your Marriage on a Regular Basis

Avoid Correcting Your Spouse in Public

Pray Together as a Couple

Speak the Gender Language of Your Spouse

Know the Password to Your Spouses Heart

Make and Accept Bids

Conclusion:

Car Ride Question for discussion on the way home: “What is one way this week that I can show you I love/respect you?”

Belgic Confession: Articles 11, 14, 15 Canons of Dort: Head I, Article 1; Head III & IV, Articles 1-4; Head V, Article 7 Belhar Confession: Articles 2-4

Reference the Reformed Confessions: The Reformed Confessions are statements of faith written to clarify the Gospel at times when the Church was in crisis. Heidelberg Chatechism: Q&A 29 - 34, 43, 54, 69-73, 76, 108-109 Belgic Confession: Articles 24, 27-28, 34,

Now, it is obvious that the same principle applies generally, and therefore almost all things rule and are ruled according to nature. But the kind of rule differs; the freeman rules over the slave after another manner from that in which the male rules over the female, or the man over the child; although the parts of the soul are present in an of them, they are present in different degrees. For the slave has no deliberative faculty at all; the woman has, but it is without authority, and the child has, but it is immature. So it must necessarily be supposed to be with the moral virtues also; all should partake of them, but only in such manner and degree as is required by each for the fulfillment of his duty. Hence the ruler ought to have moral virtue in perfection, for his function, taken absolutely, demands a master artificer, and rational principle is such an artificer; the subjects, oil the other hand, require only that measure of virtue which is proper to each of them. Clearly, then, moral virtue belongs to all of them; but the temperance of a man and of a woman, or the courage and justice of a man and of a woman, are not, as Socrates maintained, the same; the courage of a man is shown in commanding, of a woman in obeying. And this holds of all other virtues, as will be more clearly seen if we look at them in detail, for those who say generally that virtue consists in a good disposition of the soul, or in doing rightly, or the like, only deceive themselves. Far better than such definitions is their mode of speaking, who, like Gorgias, enumerate the virtues. All classes must be deemed to have their special attributes; as the poet says of women,

Silence is a woman’s glory,

but this is not equally the glory of man. (from Politics, Book 1, XIII)

4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. - 1 Corinthians 7:4