Riches of Relationships #1
Sufficency of Christ: A Walk through Ephesians • Sermon • Submitted
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· 26 viewsPaul's illustration, instructions and comparison of Marriage, Christ and Church.
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Sign of the Times (Then/Now)
Sign of the Times (Then/Now)
The Christian view of marriage for the most part is still viewed as the ideal by the majority of people. In theory Jews looked at marriage as sacred and held in the highest regard. “Every Jew must surrender his life rather than commit idolatry, murder or adultery.” “The very altar sheds tears when a man divorces the wife of his youth.”
(slide) But now let me bring it ahead, we know there is the law of divorce found in Deut24, and there were several schools of thought on that.
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(slide) Only adultery (Rabbi Shammai)
(slide) Any reason (Rabbi Hillel)
(slide) If finds no favor in wife (Rabbi Akiba) -basically meaning if finds favor in another can get rid of the other.
So that was not much different than today is it? No frill divorces; anytime, any reason. But what about the time of Paul and his writing?
Under Jewish law the the wife had no rights of divorce at all, unless the husband became a leper or an apostate. We think divorce is easy today all a Jewish man had to do was hand a certificate of divorce to the wife that had been witnessed by a Rabbi and it was done, only the dowry must be returned.
By the time Christ came, many Jewish women did not want to marry at all because they had no rights in marriage.
Now how about the culture of the times too, outside of the Jewish culture.
Greek culture -prostitution
Greek culture, prostitution was part of the Greek life according to Demosthenes he stated that There were courtesans for pleasure, concubines for cohabitation and wives for having children. Greek wives were not seen, not heard and not asking any questions, they were basically secluded.
Roman culture was even worse. for 500 years there was no recorded divorce, but by the time of Paul’s writing one writer “Seneca” said that women were married to be divorced and divorced to be married. They would know time (months, years) by who they were married to. The marriage bond was on the way total destruction.
This is the background in which Paul is writing, he is not addressing issue of divorce as he dealt with the Corinthian church (see 1Cor7) he is addressing marriage as it should be and using it as in illustration of the marriage of Christ and the Church.
Paul staying with his topic here in chapter 5 of a Christian life, Christian purity and Christian walk now brings in our passage today about the sanctify and purity of marriage.
I. Wives submission
I. Wives submission
Even before reading the passage I want to emphasize that this is often taken to extremes or out of context so let me bring into context then we will look at the passage.
Submission is one of the proof’s of being spirit filled as we discussed previously, and in case you were not here.
speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord;
Eph5:
Speaking to one another
Singing and making melody
always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father;
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Giving thanks
21 and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.
Being subject (submissive to one another)
The last one is a lynch pin holding the previous together with the present text. Paul uses marriage submission as an illustration to prove the being filled with the Spirit.
Also we go on to look at the passage let us remember Paul is writing to Christians who were mostly from Gentile, Greek or Roman culture (pagans) with some Jews mixed in. He is really going to give his thoughts and views on marriage.
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
(slide) Reason for the command is given.
(slide) Lordship of Christ (v.22)
(slide)Headship of man in Christ (v.23)
Headship is not dictatorship, no where can you find that the scripture give authorization for the husband to make the wife submissive.
Because of (v.21) both are submissive already, the wife will chooses a place of submission because the Lordship of Christ. It is a limited submission, as to the Lord, so ungodly things would not be acceptable. Submission does not mean obedience to husband in this passage, it is still meaning obedience to the Lordship of Christ and proof of Christian Spirit filled walk.
Christian marriages should be filled with husband and wife praying together, studying together so they may know the will of God and to carry that out. The husband maybe the authority but if you don’t know the real authority in which all things were placed under His feet, Christ than you can’t know the will of God.
(Insert marital counseling issues have seen) = failure to submit to Christ by one or both parties, by not submitting it leaves door open for sin. Unfortunately sin committed before marriage has a way of impacting things after marriage
(slide) First point in marriage illustration: It is submissive
II. Husbands love your wives
II. Husbands love your wives
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,
27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;
Eph5:25
29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30 because we are members of His body.
31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
Much more time is spent in dealing with the husband than the wife. Maybe men need more instructions than women. Maybe it is if men get it right and hold to the standard that is laid down then the marriage will be in accordance to God’s will.
Love you wife as Christ loved the church, Christ loved so much that He gave Himself us for the Church. Paul could not be speaking any higher of marriage than this. To be a Christian husband is a great thing with great responsibilities too.
The husband is not the enforcer, he is to be the lover, to love his wife (v.25, 28, 33). He is to care for her, to want and desire the greatest good for her, this is agape love.
(slide) Paul goes on to tell the husband why (vv.25-26)
(slide) Starts with his sacrificing himself for her
(slide) Husbands love should desire to make holy (sanctified)
(slide) Why, so he can present her perfect (without spot/blemish)
(slide) Would be holy and blameless
Those are some pretty high things, now you can see the Paul is talking about the greatest good for her, he does not stop there he goes on to tell the husband, who needs lot’s of instruction (not because of lack of intelligence like media makes husbands) because the husband is responsible and held accountable, how to do it.
Christ gave Himself up for the church before the church was the church, but with the church in view, of what would be. A husband gives himself up for the wife at marriage on all that the marriage is intended to be, just like Christ did. Speaking of sacrificial love the early church writer Chrysostom said this.
“Hast thou seen the measure of obedience? Hear also also the measure of love. Wouldst thou that they wife shouldst obey thee as the Church doth Christ? Have care thy self for her as Christ for the Church. And if it be needful that thou shouldst give they life for her, or be cut to pieces a thousand times, or endure anything whatever, refuse it not. . .”
Now that is really not the end of the quote it ends with
“He brought the Church to his feet by his great care, not by threats nor fear nor any such thing; so do though conduct thyself towards thy wife.”
Sanctification is a process but it starts with justification and that starts with the washing of the water of the word. This when looked at washing of water has to reference to baptism, this is confirmed by both F.F. Bruce and Jack Cottrell early commentators and scholars.
So the Word, the preaching of the gospel (i.e. Rom10:17; the belief and confession of the gospel message (Rom10:9-10) the submission, obedience to the gospel (Mt28:19). All of this so can be presented as a radiant church
Christ is cleansing the church so the church can be presented by the ministry of His Word.
3 “You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you.
17 “Sanctify them in the truth; Your word is truth.
Christ gave the word to the Apostles who gave the truth to us and we received it and obeyed it out of love. The husband ought to love the wife like Christ did and wash her (and himself) with the Word, both being unified, both being submissive to Christ and being transformed into the likeness of Christ (Rom12:2), how? By the Word. Love like this always will enrich a life and enlarge it and it is selfless and self-sacrificing.
It says present without “spot or wrinkle” - while we the church are not perfect, but we are being perfected. Spots are caused by defilement on the outside while wrinkles actually are caused by decay on the inside. The church need to be constantly purified by the Word.
27 Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.
May the church not have wrinkles, but be vitalized and kept active by the washing of the word, the nourishment we need. One day we will be presented, and we should be a beautiful and glorious church.
24 Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, And to present you faultless Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,
So the marriage is to be sacrificial and sanctifying and it should be satisfying too. (vv.28-30) for we are to be one flesh!
(insert story, trying to be sure attentive and excited about things that excite Tabby)
16 from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by what every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love.
How many times have I heard “He just doesn’t show me or tell me he loves me” Woman want to know and shown they are loved. The husband is called to love his wife, to be one flesh with His wife and part of that is showing it. There should be no love starved wife’s just as there should not be any husbands that do not feel respected. The marriage is spiritual, it is physical and it is emotional and all those needs should be met.
The Christian home, Christian marriage is a picture of the relationship between Christ and His Church. We are the bride of Christ.
7 “Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready.” 8 It was given to her to clothe herself in fine linen, bright and clean; for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints. 9 Then he said to me, “Write, ‘Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.’ ” And he said to me, “These are true words of God.”
13 Then one of the elders answered, saying to me, “These who are clothed in the white robes, who are they, and where have they come from?” 14 I said to him, “My lord, you know.” And he said to me, “These are the ones who come out of the great tribulation, and they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.
Rev19:
Paul mentions the first Adam and the first marriage (Gen2:18-24) and Adam gave a part of himself for her, he gave a rib. Christ gave it all to get the bride when He gave His life on the Cross. God opened Adams side and took. Man opened Christ’s side and He gave.
I mentioned respect earlier but did not give you the scripture right then.
33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.
Husbands love your wives, wives respect your husband. How this is accomplished is by being filled and walking in the Spirit. See we did not lose the process Paul was making here in chapter 5 the walk of the spirit filled Christian.
The Christian first virtue, first fruit, proof of the filling of the Spirit is love.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
Husbands and wives need this to walk in the will of God and to have a marriage as it was intended and also described in 1Cor13.
Give you more tidbit for you before closing
The Spirit of God uses the Word of God to work in the lives of the people of God to transform them to be like the Son of God, perfect without spot or blemish! So
16 Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.
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As we have seen the picture of a Christian marriage today we also see the picture of Christ and the Church.
It is joyful, thankful and submissive
It is Submissive, it is sacrificing it is sanctifying, satisfying and it is fulfilling!
(slide) So you can be all that God wants you to be! The Bride of Christ!
(Lead to invitation)