Forgiveness Developed

HOW DO I BECOME A FORGIVING PERSON?

Text: Matthew 18:21-22

Place Preached - (Mississauga International Baptist Church)

Date Preached - (11/23/03)

Introduction:    Christ calls us to a life of Forgiveness with no ceiling – Limitless!!  No wonder the disciples said “Lord, Increase our faith” – Luke 17:5

What Christ asks of us individually and corporately here is a tall order for most people.

It seems humanly impossible – to the world it is unimaginable.

It is cross-grained to the way the secular mind thinks.

Yet, we have seen it is the most godly thing action we can perform.  It is also the most reasonable thing we can do in light of what Christ has done for us.

Ephesians 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

Really, it is our reasonable service – Rom. 12:1.

Not the church as it is, but the church at her best!

Congregations at their best are comprised of grateful people who remember the pit from which they were rescued.

Isaiah 51:1  Hearken to me, ye that follow after righteousness, ye that seek the LORD: look unto the rock whence ye are hewn, and to the hole of the pit whence ye are digged.

We can do this!  The question is not “Can I become a forgiving person?”

2 Peter 1:3  According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue:

Your Question is then:  How Do I Go About It?

How do I become a forgiving person in my relationships with family, with fellow-believers, with those who are unsaved?

Where do I begin?

How do we become a forgiving community as a church?

GREAT QUESTIONS!!  - I’m so glad you asked!

I. Recognize that there are Obstacles to Forgiveness

ILLUS: Forgiveness only grows or thrives in certain conditions – like plants in a well-cared for garden.  One thing they need is the removal of weeds.

There are some “weeds” that will choke out forgiveness.

A. There are Obstacles that are quite Obvious

A. Grudge-Bearing / Bitterness

Hebrews 12:15  Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;

ILLUS: (humor) A man who had a broken friendship w/ another made up and offered forgiveness to his friend as he lay on his deathbed.   Then he said, “Now remember if I survive, the old grudge still stands.”

B. Self Pity

This is an inward focus.  Forgiveness does not thrive here.

C. Anger

Remember to put the letter D in front of anger – What do you have? DANGER!!

Proverbs 22:24  Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:

D. Fear

Forgiveness means you are open & vulnerable – transparent.

You hold power over another before you forgive him.  – That particular forgiveness he needs may only be purchased from you – You hold the monopoly.

However, once you grant forgiveness, the power shifts to the forgiven one.  He may hold you to account for the promise.

E. Pride

Ignorance may get us in trouble – but pride keeps us there.

ILLUS – We don’t like to admit we are LOST – physically, spiritually, in any sense.

F. Seeking Revenge

Romans 12:19 ...Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

You only hurt yourself.

ILLUS (Humor):  Amos & Andy - Every time Andy would go by Amos, he'd smack him on the chest. After awhile it became a habit, he would just smack him on the chest.  He couldn't handle it anymore.  One day he said, "I'll fix him."  He goes over to his good friend, King fish, & he opens up his coat & he's got six sticks of dynamite. He says, "You know how everytime Amos smacks me on the chest."  He closes that coat & says, "I've got that dynamite & next time he smacks me on the chest, he's going to blow his hand off."

G. Judgmental / Critical Spirit

We judge ourselves by inward motives – We judge others by their actions.  (Matt. 7:1-5 – make a “Log List”)

H. Excuse Making / Blame-shifting

B. There are Obstacles that are far more Subtle

Modern Psychology / Healing of the memories and many other Unbiblical concepts.

It’s general views of Man, God and Values.

BOOK – “Whatever Happened To Sin” - Karl Menninger

Unsaved writer whose premise was certain actions are now wrongly labeled as sick or criminal – but if those who commit them were treated as sinners then forgiveness is possible, then there is hope!

The removal of GUILT (Moral culpability) from society – or at least the sense of guilt - is a great evil. 

ILLUS – Like removing pain from the physical world – we’d be in big trouble.

II. Adopt a Biblical Understanding of Forgiveness by...

A. Realizing what God has done for you

• He cancelled a debt we had no ability to pay.

$12 million versus $17

• He sent Christ as our substitute to pay a debt that must be paid.

• Think of Romans 5:8

B. Realizing forgiveness is a choice and not an emotion

C. Understanding the consequences of an unforgiving heart

Matthew 18:34-35 And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.35So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.

You don’t lose your Salvation.  But you cut off the very thing in your life which is essential in your fellowship with God.

D. Realizing the importance of immediacy in forgiveness

Matthew 5:25  Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison.

Life is too short to let bitterness and unforgiveness become engrained in our hearts.

E. Recognizing others & circumstances as God’s tools for growth in your Christian life.

EXAMPLE: Joseph - Genesis 50:20  But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.

III. Develop Practical Guidelines for Implementing Forgiveness

Have a Plan!  - Why?  You are either in a situation needing to offer forgiveness or receive forgiveness, or at least to anticipate the need of forgiveness.

Luke 17:1 Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come!

A. When facing Forgiveness – Think of it as the process of a lifetime

Not a once-and-for-all event, forgiveness is a starting point of working towards the rebuilding, strengthening and restoration of relationships.

There is no limit to the number of times we should forgive.

B. When you are the offender - Be careful not to demand forgiveness

The truth would come out if forgiveness were temporarily denied.

Psalm 51:17  The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

C. In anticipation of future hurts – Begin developing a heart of forgiveness.

How do I do that?  Think about these gripping truths.

1. Revenge only satisfies in the here and now

We need a passion for the things that are of eternal value.

Colossians 3:1-2  If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God.2Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.

2. Understanding our own need for God’s mercy and forgiveness will produce brokenness and humility on our spirit

We will then be more willing to extend forgiveness to those who confess and repent of their sins toward us.

3. Forgiveness is a manifestation of love

One can never replace the other!

Conclusion:     (Review)

ILLUS: Carl Michalson, a brilliant young theologian who died in a plane crash some years ago, once told about playing with his young son one afternoon. They tussling playfully on their front lawn when Michalson accidentally hit the young boy in the face with his elbow. It was a sharp blow full to his son's face. The little boy was stunned by the impact of the elbow. It hurt, and he was just about to burst into tears. But then he looked into his father's eyes. Instead of anger and hostility, he saw there hi father's sympathy and concern; he saw there his father's love and compassion. Instead of exploding into tears, the little boy suddenly burst into laughter. What he saw in his father's eyes made all the difference!

The sharp blow of God's message to us is: Repentance. But, look into your father's eyes. What he offers you is forgiveness and that makes all the difference. Repent and you will be forgiven.