Foundations for the Family 02

Text: Matthew 19:1-11

Place Preached - (Mississauga International Baptist Church)

Date Preached - (12/07/03)

Introduction:   

(REVIEW) - Marriage is the Divinely recognized union of one man and one woman in a one flesh relationship for one lifetime.

Verse 4 establishes God’s desire for the home and the crucial foundation upon which it is built.

I. The Oracles of God

By “Oracles”, of course we mean the Scriptures

“Have ye not read?” vs.4  -   Gen. 1:27 & 2:18-24

If we’d just go back to God’s Word – We’d straighten out a lot of controversy!!

II. The Ownership of God

“He Made them..” – Vs.4  -  Colossians 1:16-17

God Instituted Marriage vs.6 - Marriage is an institution and appointment of God, and therefore not to be changed and altered by man at his pleasure.

Marriage is the highest order of familial relationship.  It is the primary family relationship (Nobler than the parent-child relationship.

Marriage, not children complete the family!

III. The Orderliness of God

“Male & Female” vs.4

One Man – One Woman

Not one man and several women, or One woman and a number of men,  Not two women or two men.

Not “Adam & Steve”, but “Adam & Eve”!!

One Woman and One Man for One Lifetime.

In the very circumstances of the creation story, Adam and Eve were created for each other and for no one else; their union was necessarily complete and unbreakable. Now, says Jesus, these two are the pattern and the symbol of all who were to come.

One Flesh – vs.5

Jesus said that man and wife became so totally one that they could be called one flesh.

1). This total unity means that marriage is not given for one act in life, however important that act may be, but for all.

Marriage is given, not that two people should do one thing together, but that they should do all things together.

2). Another way to put this is to say that marriage is the total union of two personalities.

Two people can exist together in a variety of ways.

One can be the dominant partner to such an extent that nothing matters but his wishes and his convenience and his aims in life.

Again, two people can exist in a kind of armed neutrality, where there is continuous tension and continuous opposition, and continuous collision between their wishes. Life can be one long argument.

HUMOR: - My husband became extremely frustrated with my mood swings.

He bought me a mood ring so he would be able to monitor my moods.

When I'm in a good mood it turns green.

When I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big red mark on his forehead.

Again, two people can base their relationship on a more or less resigned acceptance of each other. To all intents and purposes, while they live together, each goes his or her own way, and each has his or her own life. (CAREER / FRIENDS / VEHICLES / VACATIONS etc.)

The ideal is that in the marriage state two people find the completing of their personalities.

Marriage should not narrow life; it should complete it.

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.      ANDRE MAUROIS

3). We may put this even more practically--marriage must be a sharing of all the circumstances of life.

The days of Courtship – GLAMOUR – Both partners see each other at their best.

Somebody once said that "love" is a word consisting of two vowels, two consonants and two fools.

You give each other looks that you could pour on a waffle – SYRUP!!

Linda: "Do you really love me, or do you just think you do?"

Jack: "Honey, I really love you........I haven't done any thinking yet."

But in marriage two people must see each other when they are not at their best;

When they are tired and weary; when children bring the upset to a house and home that children must bring;

When money is tight, and food and clothes and bills become a problem; when moonlight and roses become the kitchen sink and walking the floor at night with a crying baby.

Unless two people are prepared to face the routine of life as well as the glamour of life together, marriage must be a failure.

[A married partner must learn] to tolerate his mate’s infirmities, because in doing so he either cures her, or makes himself better.  -  Jeremy Taylor

Marriage means constantly living together. It is perfectly possible for ingrained habits, unconscious mannerisms, ways of upbringing to collide.

ILLUS: Love, once illusive, is now like a Giant Oak growing up through the middle of your house – It is Inescapable!!

4). the basis of marriage is togetherness, and the basis of togetherness is nothing other than considerateness.

ILLUS: - Out Together

A farmer and his wife were sleeping in bed when a tornado came and swept them and their bed out of the house. There they were, flying through the air together in their bed, when the wife began to cry. The farmer said to her, "This is no time to cry!" She replied, "I can't help it! I'm so happy because this is the first time we've been out together in twenty years."

If marriage is to succeed, the partners must always be thinking more of each other than of themselves.

Selfishness is the murderer of any personal relationship.

IV. The Ordination of God

“In the Beginning” vs.4 & vs.8

God set forth a pattern.

Genesis 1:31  And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good.

It was Very Good to begin with, It was Right, It was Perfect.

Since then things have not gotten better – Sin entered the world and through sin a curse and death.

Things are not getting better, they are getting worse.

It’s not Evolution – It’s Devilution!!

God’s intention for that original pattern has not changed!! – He gave it to be followed, He intends for it to be followed today!!

The A. V. is commonly understood to mean, it was not so in the beginning. But that is not Christ's meaning. (The Perfect Tense conveys the continuance of past action)

A good understanding is  “Notwithstanding Moses' permission, the case has not been so from the beginning until now. The original ordinance has never been abrogated nor superseded, but continues in force.”

COMMENT on the Disciples reaction to this in verses 10-11.

V. The Opposition of Man

“Let Not Man put Asunder” vs.6

ASUNDER – To Separate, to place room between.  To go away, to depart.

Now there are a lot of forces from without blasting away at the foundation of God’s order for the family and the home/marriage.

EXAMPLES – TV, Media, Internet, Public Opinion, Peers, Courts

But the greatest opposition comes from within, from the heart.

Mark 7:20-23  And he said, That which cometh out of the man, that defileth the man.

21  For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders,

22  Thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness:

23  All these evil things come from within, and defile the man.

A. Pride of Man’s Heart

Psalm 14:1  The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.

He naturally wants to overturn God’s order, God’s plan, God’s word.

So we have Secular Humansism / The New Age /  Deification of the Creation, Universe and Man.

And man in his pride has said “God’s design for the family is not good, it is flawed, it is restrictive” -  “We will come up with something better”.

WHAT?  Open Marriages?  Free love? Free Sex?  Divorce? Same Sex relationships?

Is man any happier?  Any better off?

B. Hardness of Man’s Heart vs.8

Moses did not command divorce in Deuteronomy 24,  He permitted it.

Jesus' answer was that what Moses said was not in fact a law, but nothing more than a concession. Moses did not command divorce; at the best he only permitted it in order to regulate a situation which would have become chaotically promiscuous. - BARCLAY

Hardness comes from two words...

Sklerosis - pathological hardening of tissue

Kardia – the heart

Regardless of what man may say, it is sin in the relationship somewhere that causes divorce.

C. Lusts of Man’s Heart vs.9 - Fornication

EXPLAIN – The Exception clause

Sex was meant for the confines of the marriage bed.

Between one man and one woman who are bound to each other by marriage.

Hebrews 13:4  Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Outside of it’s sacred and intended purpose it becomes a destructive force.

And it has become the focus (Obsession) of our day.

It’s killing us as a society!!

We are already dead!  ILLUS: Pallbearers in place etc.

Conclusion:     (Review)

Society promotes Lust not Love – We must get back to God’s definition of love (Rom. 5:8: John 3:16)

Sacrificial, selfless giving.

ILLUS: This actually occurred in an (unknown by us) US City:

By the main warehouses that are right down on the river there is a daily operation that occurs. To keep all the barges able to come in you have to constantly dredge the channel. And when the sand comes up out of the bottom of the river and is dumped on the side it makes wonderful places to play because it creates these huge sand hills and kids love to play on them. There's really nothing more fun than playing on those huge mounds of sand and there's nothing more dangerous. Because when the sand comes out of the river bottom, it's wet and it creates a crust on the top of the hills. You can get on the top of them and they will collapse and the sand will sink you down inside the hill.  Some years ago two brothers didn't come home for dinner and their bikes were found outside the fence where the dredging had been going on. The family began to search frantically as well as other rescuers for the two brothers. They finally found one. He was buried up to his chin in the sand. Because of the pressure of the wet sand and muck around him he was not breathing so they began to dig frantically. When they uncovered him down to his waist he regained consciousness and the family, in hysterics, began to say, "Where's your brother? Where's your Brother? Where's your brother?" And what he said was, "I'm standing on

his shoulders."

The one brother had given his life for the good of another. It is an example of course of what Christ did for us that he gave himself to lift us up to our God. What we are doing as Christians...we are the foundation to lift others up so that they might find life in Christ.