Hope despite bitterness

Introduction

So, having covered most of these verses last week as we saw cost of faithfulness as presented by Naomi, the natural reaction from Orpah and the supernatural response of faith from Ruth, this week we’ll be focussing on the last few verses as they arrive into Bethlehem, verses 19–22, and on Naomi’s attitude of bitterness described there and back in verse 13 as well.

The significance of the name change

Footnotes

Significance of names in ANE.

Biblical examples of renaming. — Jacob to Israel, Abram (exalted father) to Abraham. (Father of a multitude).

So then...

So, Naomi is self-confessedly bitter, an not only for the sake of her daughters in law, but for her own sake too. And she’s blunt about the fact that God has brought her to this point.

Now, in Naomi’s attitude and behaviour there are both commendable points and aspects which are not so good. I propose to take each in turn and then having done so we should be able to come to a verdict.

The good

It’s reasonable that she thinks her situation is pretty bad. “Calamity” is not an over-statement.

She has lost her husband, sons, and now even one of her daughters in law whom she clearly also loved. Having left home due to a famine, she’s now faced with the prospect of a life which for her will have a perpetual situation much like most would experience during a famine. With no one to provide for her needs she will be reduced to scavenging, barely scraping by if that.

She has lost her husband, sons, and now even one of her daughters in law whom she clearly also loved. Having left home due to a famine, she’s now faced with the prospect of a life which for her will have a perpetual situation much like most would experience during a famine. With no one to provide for her needs she will be reduced to scavenging, barely scraping by if that.

It’s not an overstatement at the end of verse 21 for her to say that calamity has come upon her.

We can sometimes be tempted to talk down the sifnificance of our suffering, of the ways in which we might be struggling. We say things like ‘there’s plenty worse off than me’ or ‘it’s not that bad really’ or ‘mustn’t grumble’. This is not how Naomi acts, and it’s not how we should act. Verse 20 the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. It is not a healthy thing to diminish the significance of our suffering. The fact that there are people in worse situations might sometimes help to give a dose of perspective, but we should not pretend that it means we aren’t genuinely suffering.

Unswerving commitment to the sovereignty of God

At no point does she come close to suggesting that anything which has happened was outside of God’s control. v.21 is clear. The Lord has testified against me, the almighty has brought calamity.

We can’t wriggle out of the discomfort of why God allows, why God even brings about, difficult things in our lives by suggesting that God’s powerless to do otherwise, or that other forces are at work, warring against God and he can’t fully restrain them. Naomi is right that this has all happened to her within God’s sovereign control.

I can see why people end up arguing something like that God is doing the best he can, but is ultimately unable to fully restrain evil. I can see why people want to let him off the hook, as it were. The desire to so fully embrace an absolutely loving God who wouldn’t ever allow anything painful to happen is understandable, I get why you’d want that. But here’s the problem: that kind of God offers me no real hope. What’s the point in praying if God’s not powerful enough to bring about his purposes? Where’s my confidence that everything works together for the good of those who love God if God’s not powerful enough to bring that about? In a desire to magnify God’s love, people have diminished his power, and so made God toothless.

Commendably, Naomi does not fall into this trap. Naomi knows that on some level at least it is the almighty, it is God himself, who has brought this about.

Naomi’s unswerving commitment to the sovereignty of God is commendable.

Honesty is commendable

Thirdly, let us say that there is something very commendable in her honesty. Not for her the generic ‘fine, thank you’ when her old neighbours see her and call out in greeting. She does not hide how she feels, not from herself and not from those around her. She does not sweep aside her experience. This is not stoicism and a stiff upper lip. And despite our cultural background, there is surely something which we can learn from her in this. God’s word does not encourage us to repress our emotions. We have no licence to pretend to ourselves, to those around us, or to God, that we aren’t feeling the way we’re feeling. Just like Habakkuk’s cry of dismay to God, there is something commendable in the fact that Naomi is willing to say to people ‘life sucks’.

There are cautions and caveats which we would make to this, and we’ll come on to some of that in a moment, but for now it’s helpful to stop and say that it’s OK to not be OK.

It is a very sad thing that we have, as a society, forgotten how to mourn. Yes for the believer the sting has been taken out of death. Yes there is sometimes a place to gently say ‘weep no more’. But too often we try to deny the pain of parting. We try to tell ourselves that it shouldn’t hurt and therefore it doesn’t hurt. But it does. The life cut tragically short should be mourned. The pain of being parted from someone whom you have grown to love over years and years is real. For Naomi, the pain of her husband’s death is very real. The pain of the death of her sons is very real. She is commendably honest with herself and with others about how she’s feeling.

BST: The impressive truthfulness of her life before God. No hiding of the feeling, no sweeping it aside, no false affirmation that everything's "fine"! Like Habakkuk's shout of dismay. Many of us have forgotten how to mourn. Sting is taken out of death. A place for gentle words of compassion. Do not deny the pain of parting.

The end of the beginning

Summary

Fourthly under the heading of ‘the good’, there’s a sense in which this is the end of the

So there are commendable elements in Naomi’s attitude and behaviour in that she has genuinely suffered, she is commited to Gods sovereignty and she is honest about her experience and feelings.

The bad

She perhaps makes the situation seem worse than it is

She doesn’t note any of the good things which she does have. Whilst she does not have the ‘fulness’ with which she went away, to describe herself now as ‘empty’, v21, is not entirely accurate. Rather she still has: Life (cf Elimelech et al), Opportunity (friends), Ruth, Yahweh himself.

Talks about God, but not to God.

The Psalms suggest that it is okay to speak the way she does, though they may also suggest that it is a shame that she is not saying all this to God and not just about God.

“Don’t complain to other people. Be sure to complain to God. He’s big enough; he can handle it.” I hope I said it; it’s true. - Goldingay

When Job is discussing his situation with his friends, whilst of course he’s talking to them, he addresses their points and answers their questions, he also shifts freely into crying out to God. Naomi does not. I wouldn’t necessarily want to make too big a deal of this given the brevity of the account, it’s not inconceivable that Naomi was spending hours each night crying out to God in prayer and it’s simply not recorded, but honestly I find that unlikely. This story is too well written, too carefully crafted, for that I think. Twice we are told of Naomi’s bitterness, as she lays the blame at God’s door for her situation. In neither of those does she come to God to enquire of him or to make requests from him.

As we saw earlier, it’s commendable that Naomi believes God’s in control. But she doesn’t seem to make the logical leap from his control to the value of prayer.

Prayer is the necessary outworking of the doctrine of providence. If we worship a God who provides for his people, if God is a God who is in control, it is only logical that we come to him with our prayers. Prayer is not a mere psychological exercise but rather coming before a God who is there, a God who cares, a God who rules, a God who provides, a God who determines all things. That is the God who invites us to come and make our requests.

What a great shame that Naomi’s response to her tragic circumstances doesn’t make more space for prayer, doesn’t depend more upon asking God to intervene positively on her behalf but rather grumbles behind his back about what he has allowed to happen to her.

No evidence of a desire to move on from her attitude

The third negative aspect of the situation is that there is no evidence here of striving to move on, to change her attitude from one of bitterness towards one of joy. This appears to be a case where resentment is setting in, not a mere passing dismay. Whilst by 2:20 her attitude has changed dramatically such that she can speak of

Ruth 2:20 ESV

And Naomi said to her daughter-in-law, “May he be blessed by the Lord, whose kindness has not forsaken the living or the dead!” Naomi also said to her, “The man is a close relative of ours, one of our redeemers.”

Resentment appears to be setting in, not a mere passing dismay.

that comes after a major change in their circumstances. That’s not rejoicing despite their situation but rather rejoicing because things are turning around.

To my mind, when we speak of commendable honesty about our bitterness and dismay, that ought to be the beginning of the process of changing that attitude, not of embracing that feeling. But here Naomi is saying ‘call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me.’ To change your name, and to do so in a society which ascribes great significance to names, doesn’t sound like a desire to move on to me.

A significant part of the purpose of being honest about your bitterness ought to be the beginning of changing your attitude, not of embracing it. To say ‘call me’ seems like embracing it — especially given the significance of names.

Bitterness is not an attitude which we can be content to dwell in. The attitude which Naomi displays here does not seem to be the same as others in the Bible who suffer greatly. All but one of the Psalms of lament reach some kind of resolution, include elements of turning away from distress and dismay and back to praising God.

Similarly when Job is greatly afflicted his attitude is not one of bitterness towards God but rather

Job 1:21 ESV

And he said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”

He continues to display that kind of attitude throughout the book; whilst he mourns, whilst we might even say he despairs, I think he continues to affirm throughout ‘blessed be the name of the Lord.’

The Psalms will suggest that it is okay to speak the way she does, though they may also suggest that it is a shame that she is not saying all this to God and not just about God. A student tells me that I once said in class, “Don’t complain to other people. Be sure to complain to God. He’s big enough; he can handle it.” I hope I said it; it’s true. - Goldingay

A different light

BST: our lord Jesus, also, helped his disciples to see their perplexities in a new light and from a different perspective. When they asked Jesus 'why?' About the suffering of the man born blind, Jesus turned their question into the other: 'to what purpose?' They were not told the efficient cause of the pain, only the final cause: 'that the works of God might be made manifest in him.' - .

And also Christ’s own sufferings.

The verdict

So what’s the verdict then? We’ve seen three good points and three bad points. So is Naomi’s behaviour commendable, or reprehensible? Is she a model to follow, or a model to avoid? You’re probably hoping for a straightforward answer here. Certainly I was when I sat down to prepare this. I thought ‘I’ll do my studying, I see what the commentators have to say and I’ll figure it out.’ But I haven’t. My conclusion, though it does sound slightly like a cop-out, is ‘it’s complicated’!

Life is like that sometimes. People are messy. Situations and people’s responses simply aren’t black and white. Naomi does some good stuff, and she reacts in some ways which are not so good.

You know what? You and I are exactly the same. We’re faced with situations and usually aspects of our response are good, and aspects are bad. Maybe someone asks a tricky question and you give a good answer to it, but you do so in a snappy way, or arrogantly. Or the times when you do what you know is the right thing, but you grumble about it. Well, here’s Naomi.

A new perspective

A different light

And also Christ’s own sufferings.

So what?

Circumstances will sometimes be outside of our control. There is no sin there. But our response to those circumstances is our responsibility.

BST: our lord Jesus, also, helped his disciples to see their perplexities in a new light and from a different perspective. When they asked Jesus 'why?' About the suffering of the man born blind, Jesus turned their question into the other: 'to what purpose?' They were not told the efficient cause of the pain, only the final cause: 'that the works of God might be made manifest in him.' - .

And also Christ’s own sufferings.

If circumstances are outside of our control but our response is our responsibility, then:

Decide that in trials you will trust.

If you’re feeling bitter now, be honest about it, and even to other people. But don’t be content to stay there. Alexander Whyte often told his Edinburgh congregation that the victorious Christian life is “a series of new beginnings,” and he was right. Naomi was about to make a new beginning; for with God, it’s never too late to start over again.

If you’re feeling bitter now, be honest about it, and even to other people. But don’t be content to stay there. Alexander Whyte often told his Edinburgh congregation that the victorious Christian life is “a series of new beginnings,” and he was right. Naomi was about to make a new beginning; for with God, it’s never too late to start over again.

Talk to God, not about him.

In everything give thanks” () isn’t always easy to obey, but obeying this command is the best antidote against a bitter and critical spirit.

In everything give thanks” () isn’t always easy to obey, but obeying this command is the best antidote against a bitter and critical spirit.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 ESV

give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

Similarly:

Philippians 4:4 ESV

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.

Here’s one final thing which I hope will help you to do some of those difficult things:

Our lord Jesus, also, helped his disciples to see their perplexities in a new light and from a different perspective. When they asked Jesus 'why?' About the suffering of the man born blind, Jesus turned their question into the other: 'to what purpose?' They were not told the efficient cause of the pain, only the final cause: 'that the works of God might be made manifest in him.' - .

Talk to God, not about him.

And also Christ’s own sufferings.

What’s the immediate cause of Naomi’s suffering? We don’t know. What’s the final cause? So that Ruth will come back to Bethlehem, meet Boaz, give birth to Obed and take her place in the ancestral line of King David and Jesus himself.

What’s the immediate cause of your pain? I don’t know. What’s the final cause? That the works of God might be made manifest in you.

Conclusion — Hope despite bitterness

Hope despite bitterness

So after all that, why is the title of this sermon ‘hope despite bitterness’? If the book of Ruth is the story of God’s providential provision for ordinary people in an ordinary place, where is his provision in the face of this bitterness?

Well, I think there’s a very deliberate glimmer of hope right at the end of the passage we read. Not only have they returned to Naomi’s native land but v22 ‘And they came to Bethlehem at the beginning of barley harvest.’ — In a story which started with a famine, at the end of a chapter where the threat of a poor and hungry future has loomed large over these women, their return at the time of the barley harvest is surely evidence of God’s provision, and the narrator’s inclusion of that note is surely a deliberate indication of hope.

Despite Naomi’s bitterness, despite how she has suffered thus far, despite her questionable attitude, God is still making provision for her. God’s providence has not let her go.