Winning with Your Family During the Holidays

How many of you kind of shudder at the thought of having all of your family over during the Holidays?

Hebrews 12:14–15 NLT

14 Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord. 15 Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.

“We get to pick our friends but not our families.”

Work at Living in Peace with your family members… (RKS Translation)

What can we do to enjoy a peace filled & meaningful Holiday Season with our Families?

1. To have a Peace Filled & Meaningful Holiday Season we should, PURSUE PEACE WITH OUR FAMILY MEMBERS

Hebrews 12:14 NIV

14 Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.

Difficult People are Everywhere, Even In Our Families

One Way to Pursue Peace in Our Families is to Have Peaceful Conversations.

Peaceful conversations require TRUTHFUL WORDS.

Proverbs 12:22 NLT

22 The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in those who tell the truth.

Ephesians 4:15 GW

15 Instead, as we lovingly speak the truth, we will grow up completely in our relationship to Christ, who is the head.

Peaceful Conversations Require THOUGHTFUL WORDS.

Will Rogers - “Be careful of the words you say. Keep them soft and sweet. You never know from day to day, which ones you’ll have to eat.”

James 1:19 NLT

19 Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.

We should never use ANGRY, CRITICAL, DEMEANING, GOSSIPY or PRIDEFUL Words if we want to maintain good relationships.

Proverbs 17:28 NLT

28 Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent.

Peaceful Conversations Require HELPFUL WORDS.

Ephesians 4:29 NIV

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Affirming and Appreciative Words are Helpful Words

Colossians 4:6 NCV

6 When you talk, you should always be kind and pleasant so you will be able to answer everyone in the way you should.

2. To have a Peace Filled & Meaningful Holiday Season we should MAKE A GODLY IMPRESSION WITH OUR FAMILY MEMBERS.

Hebrews 12:14 NLT

14 Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord.

Making a Godly Impression means WE PRACTICE WHAT WE PREACH.

James 1:21–22 NLT

21 So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls. 22 But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.

Making a Godly Impression means WE CONTROL OUR EMOTIONS.

Proverbs 29:22 NCV

22 An angry person causes trouble; a person with a quick temper sins a lot.

We often cause irreparable damage in our relationships with angry words.

Proverbs 15:1 NCV

1 A gentle answer will calm a person’s anger, but an unkind answer will cause more anger.

3. To have a Peace Filled & Meaningful Holiday Season we should OVERCOME HURT FROM FAMILY MEMBERS.

Hebrews 12:15 NLT

15 Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.

When People Close to us Hurt us, WE SHOULD NOT REMEMBER IT.

Proverbs 17:9 The Message

9 Overlook an offense and bond a friendship; fasten on to a slight and—good-bye, friend!

When People Close to us Hurt us, WE SHOULD NOT REHEARSE IT.

Ephesians 4:26–27 NLT

26 And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

When People Close to us Hurt us, WE SHOULD NOT REPEAT IT.

We should not repeat or hurts in our minds; or fights; or to other people.

Proverbs 17:9 NCV

9 Whoever forgives someone’s sin makes a friend, but gossiping about the sin breaks up friendships.

Proverbs 16:28 TEV

28 Gossip is spread by wicked people; they stir up trouble and break up friendships.

When People Close to us Hurt us, WE SHOULD FORGIVE THEM Just Like Jesus Did Us.

Ephesians 4:31–32 NLT

31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

4. PUT HEALTHY BOUNDARIES BETWEEN US & THOSE WHO HAVE VERBALLY, EMOTIONALLY OR PHYSICAL ABUSED US.

Healthy Boundaries involves setting Clear Expectations and saying NO.

Acts 15:36–39 NLT

36 After some time Paul said to Barnabas, “Let’s go back and visit each city where we previously preached the word of the Lord, to see how the new believers are doing.” 37 Barnabas agreed and wanted to take along John Mark. 38 But Paul disagreed strongly, since John Mark had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in their work. 39 Their disagreement was so sharp that they separated. Barnabas took John Mark with him and sailed for Cyprus.

Healthy Boundaries involves PRAYING for the person who has hurt us.

Hebrews 12:15 NIV84

15 See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.