Communication

COMMUNICATION

            Groucho depised the empty clichés of business correspondence.  A letter from a bank manager ended with the standard phrase,  “If I can be of any service to you, do not hesitate to call on me.”  Groucho immediately took pen to paper.  “Dear Sir,” he wrote.  “The best thing you can do to be of service to me is to steal some money from the account of one of your riches clients and credit it to mine.”

            Adapted from The Little, Brown Book of Anecdotes, edited by Clifton Fadiman   (Little, Brown, and Company)

            A manager decided to take his young daughter to work with him one day.   The little girl was especially interested in going because when had heard her father talk about the people at the office for years.

            However, after they arrived and she was introduced to the office crew, she didn’t seem particularly impressed or interested.  Letting her play video games on an office computer, draw on the whiteboards, or go out to lunch with the gang had little effect either.

            On the way home the father asked the girl why she was so disappointed.  She said, “I never got to see all the clowns you said you worked with.”

            Adapted from 1001 Quips & Quotes for Business Speeches,

By Richard S. Zera ( Sterling Publishing)

           A man received a call from his wife just as she was about to fly home from Europe.

            “How’s my cat?” she asked.

            “Dead.”

            “Oh, honey, don’t be so honest. Why didn’t you break the news to me slowly? You’ve ruined my trip.”

            “What do you mean?”

            “You could have told me she was on the roof.  And when I called you from Paris, you could have told me she was acting strange.  When I called from London, you could have said she was sick, and whey I called you from New York, you could have said she was at the vet.  Then when I arrived home you could have told me she was dead.”

            Though not used to such protocol, the husband was willing to learn.  “OK,” he said, “I’ll do better next time.”

            “By the way,” she asked, “how’s mom?”

            There was a long silence before the man responded, “Uh, she’s on the roof.”

            Be sure that when it come time for you to comfort others, you choose your words carefully and thoughtfully.

            Overheard.  “What do you mean, we don’t communicate?  Just yesterday I faxed you a reply to the recorded message you left me on your answering machine.

                                                                                                Schwadron