Redefining Fatherhod

1. Lesson Intro
1. Things Men want you to know
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
2. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
3. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
   
   

1. Defining Fatherhood  

Bill Cosby said "Poets have said the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality; & I must admit I did ask God to give me a son because I wanted someone to carry on the family name. Well, God did just that & I now confess that there have been times I’ve told my son not to reveal who he is. `You make up a name,’ I’ve said. `Just don’t tell anybody whose son you are.’"

1. Provide for them
2. Correct them

1. Redefining Fatherhood
1. (Eph 6:4) "4Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."                                                               i.      Don’t exasperate them (provoke them to anger)
2. Nuture (Bring them Up) Time

                                                              i.      Word is only used twice in NT

1.      here translated “bring them up” but in (Eph 5:29) "29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—"

                                                            ii.      To nourish to maturity

1.      Watering plants

                                                          iii.      You are not in the

1.      bread winning business

2.      the ladder climbing business

3.      the keeping peace at home business

                                                          iv.      You are in the nurturing business and everything you do from bringing home a paycheck to getting that promotion to praying that you aren’t walking in to a battle royal when you come home – everything you do is in order to achieve your greatest goal – to nurture children into adulthood.

                                                            v.      Demands

1.      clear goals

2.      plan

3.      commitment

1. Training (Actions)                                                               i.      Rewards and punishments set boundaries

1.      (Heb 12:6) "6because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.”"

2.      (Heb 12:7) "7Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?"

3.      (Heb 12:11) "11No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

                                                            ii.      Examples set the goal

1.      (1 Co 11:1) "1Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ."

2.      (Tit 2:7) "7In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness"

In his book Lessons from a Father to His Sons, Senator John Ashcroft writes:

Until 1997 Michael Jordan, indisputably the leading player in the NBA for over a decade, was never the highest paid player. When asked why he did not do what so many other players do—hold out on their contracts until they get more money—Michael replied, "I have always honored my word. I went for security. I had six-year contracts, and I always honored them. People said I was underpaid, but when I signed on the dotted line, I gave my word."

Three years later, after several highly visible players reneged on their contracts, a reporter asked Michael once again about being underpaid, and he explained that if his kids saw their dad breaking a promise, how could he continue training them to keep their word? By not asking for a contract renegotiation, Michael Jordan spoke volumes to his children. He told them, "You stand by your word, even when that might go against you." His silence became a roar.

1. Instruction (Words)                                                               i.      (Dt 6:6-7) "6These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father if they could discuss his use of the family car.

His father took him into his study and said, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study the Bible a little, get your hair cut, and then we'll talk about it."

After about a month, the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car. They again went into the father's study where the father said, "Son, I've been very proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied the Bible diligently, but you didn't get your hair cut."

The young man replied, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that. Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair."

"Yes," his father said, "and everywhere they went, they walked."

1. Point them to the Lord                                                               i.      The only thing of true value we have to pass on to our children is what we know and experience from God.

1. Conclusion One night a wife found her husband standing over their newborn baby’s crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, skepticism. He would stand back, shake his head and say, "Amazing," while smiling from ear to ear.
   
   Touched by his unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, her eyes glistened as she slipped her arms around him. "A penny for your thoughts," she whispered in his ear.
   
   "Isn’t it amazing!" he replied. "When you take the time and really look close, how can anyone make a crib like that for only $45.99!"

1. Nurture them
2. Train Them
3. Instruct the
4. Point them to Jesus

Tupac Shakur was an extremely popular, award-winning gansta rap artist. Brought up in a New York City ghetto, he personified the violent lifestyle depicted in his music. Shakur spent eight months in prison for rape. He also survived a mugging, during which he was shot five times. Then, in the fall of 1996, Tupac was gunned down in a drive-by shooting. Six days later, on September 13th, he died.

Tupac: Resurrection is a documentary of Shakur's brief and tragic life. It is told through a collection of audio recordings and interviews given before his death, as well through his music, poetry, photographs, and home movies.

Tupac narrates the experiences of his early childhood. As he speaks, family pictures appear on-screen along with the words, "I blame my father, cuz he left me."

Tupac says, "My real father was a Black Panther. But when I was growing up, I never knew who my real father was, for sure. My stepfather was a gangster, a straight-up street hustler. My mom got a kid, but he didn't even care, 'Oh that's my son.' He took care of me, gave me money. But he was a criminal too—out there doing his own thing. And he came and brought me money and left. I know for a fact if I had a father, I'd have some discipline. I'd have more confidence. Your mother can't calm you down the way a man can. Your mother can't reassure you the way a man can. Your mother can't show you where your manhood was. You need a man to teach you how to be a man."

Studies say children with involved fathers are:

More confident and less anxious in unfamiliar settings.
Better able to deal with frustration.
Better able to gain a sense of independence.
More likely to become compassionate adults.
More likely to have higher self-esteem.
More likely to have higher grade-point averages.
More sociable.

1. Keith Simmons, "USA Today Snapshots," USA Today (June 14-16, 2002); source: National Center for Fathering #. When asked how he will handle his 12-year-old daughter's future boyfriends, NBA hall-of-famer Charles Barkley responded, "I figure if I kill the first one, word will get out."

Christian family therapist John Trent shared two letters given to him by a third grade teacher. The letters were part of an assignment her students completed. (The words are unedited for spelling, grammar, and punctuation.)

Dear Dad, I love it when you take me on dates! I like it when you play baseball with me, miniature golf with me, and watch movies with me. I really aprisheate it! I like it when you tell jokes to me. I like it when you hug me and kiss me. Daddy, I love you!

The teacher said that just four seats away from the first letter writer sat another little girl. Here's what her letter said:

Dear Daddy, I love you so much. When you are going to come see me agen? I miss you very much. I love it when you take me to the pool. When am I going to get to spend the night at your house? Have you ever seen my house before? I want to see what your house looks like. Do you? When am I going to get to see you agene? I love you, Daddy.

One letter is from a child whose father knows what it means to be there. The second is from a child whose father, for whatever reason, has chosen not to be there.

In March 1999, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services launched a new, nationwide public service campaign challenging fathers to remain emotionally and financially connected to their children even if they do not live with them. The campaign's tag line is, "They're your kids. Be their dad," and stresses the importance of fathers by showing the consequences for children when fathers do not have a positive role in their children's lives.

More than a quarter of American children—nearly 17 million —do not live with their fathers. Girls without a father in their life are two-and-a-half times as likely to get pregnant and 53 percent more likely to commit suicide. Boys without a father in their life are 63 percent more likely to run away and 37 percent more likely to abuse drugs. Both girls and boys without father involvement are twice as likely to drop out of high school, twice as likely to end up in jail, and nearly four times as likely to need help for emotional or behavioral problems.

Derek Chinn; source: H.H.S. fact sheet, H.H.S. Fatherhood Initiative (6-

Have you ever wondered whether a giant asteroid might hit our planet, like the one that may have wiped out the dinosaurs on earth?

The planet Jupiter "is our first line of defense" says Allan Boss, an astrophysicist at the Carnegie Institution of Washington. "It is something like 99.9 percent efficient at throwing dangerous space junk, asteroids, and meteorites back out to interstellar space."

How does that happen?

Jupiter is 318 times heavier than earth. Because of its mass, Jupiter creates a huge gravitational field that acts as a giant cosmic vacuum cleaner, drawing the "junk" that floats into the gravitational field toward it and away from other planets.

Jupiter displayed its protective power six years ago when a monster comet broke into fragments and bombarded the planet Jupiter with more destructive power than all the atomic bombs on earth. Not all space particles get deflected by Jupiter, but living in Jupiter's gravitational field minimizes the destructive forces that enter the earth's atmosphere.

Considering Jupiter's protective role, the ancient Romans unknowingly named the mighty planet well. In Old Latin, Jupiter means "Sky-Father."

In his book Lessons from a Father to His Sons, Senator John Ashcroft writes:

Until 1997 Michael Jordan, indisputably the leading player in the NBA for over a decade, was never the highest paid player. When asked why he did not do what so many other players do—hold out on their contracts until they get more money—Michael replied, "I have always honored my word. I went for security. I had six-year contracts, and I always honored them. People said I was underpaid, but when I signed on the dotted line, I gave my word."

Three years later, after several highly visible players reneged on their contracts, a reporter asked Michael once again about being underpaid, and he explained that if his kids saw their dad breaking a promise, how could he continue training them to keep their word? By not asking for a contract renegotiation, Michael Jordan spoke volumes to his children. He told them, "You stand by your word, even when that might go against you." His silence became a roar.

In The Effective Father, Gordon MacDonald wrote: "It is said of Boswell, the famous biographer of Samuel Johnson, that he often referred to a special day in his childhood when his father took him fishing. The day was fixed in his mind, and he often reflected upon many things his father had taught him in the course of their fishing experience together.

"After having heard of that particular excursion so often, it occurred to someone much later to check the journal that Boswell's father kept and determine what had been said about the fishing trip from the parental perspective. Turning to that date, the reader found only one sentence entered: 'Gone fishing today with my son; a day wasted.' "

The other morning my son announced, "Mom, I really think I'm going to be just like Dad when I grow up."

"Why is that?" I asked.

"Well, because I think my eyebrows will grow into one like his. And, whenever somebody speaks to me, I never hear them."

#10 Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

#7 “Yes” and “No” are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

#4 If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

#3 If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

#2 ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

#1 Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we…

Bill Cosby - He goes on, "Poets have said the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality; & I must admit I did ask God to give me a son because I wanted someone to carry on the family name. Well, God did just that & I now confess that there have been times I’ve told my son not to reveal who he is. `You make up a name,’ I’ve said. `Just don’t tell anybody whose son you are.’"