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Family is messy!
And this week is sometimes the greatest reminder of that.
When we think about Thanksgiving, a multitude of emotions can run through us.
Some of us may be excited about catching up with family around the dinner table.
Some of us may feel sad and lonely because this year some of the family is not coming to Thanksgiving dinner because of a family feud that has left everyone bitter and angry at one another.
And some of us approach Thanksgiving with FEAR because we WILL be around those family members we’ve been fighting with.
Or those family members who always tend to make us feel like we’re not good enough or always let us know we don’t do anything right.
Or maybe Thursday will be a marathon of hopping from house to house to house, because you come from a broken home and have to make sure you spread your time evenly among the families or someone will be upset!
OR even making sure your parents get to spend just as much time with the grandkids that day as your spouse’s parents!
So now… who’s ready for Thanksgiving??
It’s no secret that family is messy....
Even when we look at God’s Word, we don’t see many good examples of families.
For instance… Adam and Eve, the first family every created.
They did not have it together AT ALL! Eve eats the fruit of the forbidden tree and offers it to Adam.
Adam then must make a choice to choose God or his wife, and he chooses his wife.
And Men have been choosing women over God ever since!
THEN they have 2 sons… Cain and Abel.
and in only the 4th chapter of the entire Bible, we find the first murder in history!
Cain killing his brother Abel.
Now that’s some family disfunction!
And there are many more accounts of dysfunctional families in the book of Genesis alone!!!
Ham disgraces his father Noah by uncovering his nakedness
Abraham lied about his wife Sarah saying that she was his sister and she was taken to the King because of her beauty.
And had God not intervened, she would have been taken from Abraham for good! and this didn’t happen once BUT twice!
And we can’t forget about when God promised Abraham a son through Sarah… and when it was taking God “too long” to come through on his promise, Sarah gives him her slave girl to sleep with so he can have a son through her!
WHAT A MESS!!! and these are just a few examples!
But while there are not many GOOD examples of families in the Bible, there is a TON of clear INSTRUCTION on how the family should function.
We may go through ups and downs, and sometimes those downs make us want to forget we ever even had a family!
BUT family is so vital to God’s Kingdom work.
And when the family functions the way that God designed it to function, the family can be a mighty witness to the world!
Paul thought this was a very important subject as he addresses it here in his letter to the Colossians.
But he also echoes these thoughts in his letter to the church in Ephesus.
And Peter is also in agreement in the book of 1 Peter.
The function of the family is an EXTREMELY important subject to God!
So as we continue in our study of the book of Colossians, let’s read .
Paul addresses 4 different people groups in this passage: Wives, Husbands, Children, and Fathers.
And it never fails, when this is taught on, there are some who think.
“This is just so old fashioned.
This does not apply to our culture today!”
There are probably some of you thinking this right now.
In fact, I can remember teaching on this passage years ago when I was working in youth ministry and one girl came up to me after and said, “I have a problem with this bible verse.
I am not submitting to ANY man!
I am an independent woman!”
And this is the mindset of many today.
In fact, to teach anything different today would be politically incorrect.
Not just on this subject, but MANY things in the Bible that will hinder us from living life the way WE see is best.
And we are taught to react like this.
We are taught by everything around us to make ourselves #1.
But before we begin examining this text, I want us to get a little background info.
We come to this passage and can easily zero in on verse 18. Guys use this verse against their wives to get their own way, and women can look at this verse as one that oppresses women and goes against everything society tells them today.
This is a very controversial passage of scripture.
And again… we tend to think that was the norm back then and does not apply to us today.
But I want you to know that:
This passage was just as controversial then to the original audience as it is now.
In fact this passage and the other teachings of Paul, Peter, and Jesus were very freeing and liberating to women!
And you may be thinking “How can that be when they are saying women need to submit?”
In those days, women and children were considered only slightly higher in value than sheep and cattle.
You see…
They were looked at as property of the man of the house.
In fact if a man was tired of his wife he could divorce her instantly.
They had the simplest form of no fault divorce possible.
When a man wanted a divorce, he would go up to his wife and say “I divorce you.
I divorce you.
I divorce you.” and that was it!
Marriage over.
Now if the wife wanted a divorce… Tough luck!
You were the property of your husband and there was no escaping unless HE wanted the divorce.
But:
Even today when we look at some eastern religions, we still see that women and children are treated more like property than human beings.
Radical Islam is one example of this.
Andy Stanley in his study Future Family shares this.
“As our nation moves further and further away from a biblical world view, the group that will suffer will be women and children.
And in the segment of our society that has already abandoned marriage - those who have said marriage is not an option, the group that is thrust below the poverty line the quickest is women and children.”
So in that culture where women and children were thought of as next to nothing… when Paul taught things like “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” -
This teaching was RADICALLY different from the norm of society.
There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
Paul was saying “You see this wife of yours?
She is not below you.
She is not your property.
She is of equal value and worth because she is a child of God.
She is your wife, but she is ALSO your sister in Christ.”
Jesus radically changed everything when He came to this earth.
But one of the many of the changes was this change of anyone being able to think they were better than anyone else.
And this is why Paul began the letter of Colossians with theology on Jesus.
Reminding them of the truth of who Jesus is and what he has done.
Then in chapter 2 he follows that with warnings about those who would come and try to deceive them and sway them from the truth.
then chapter 3 begins his practical application section.
In view of what we know about Jesus, how then shall we live?
And that’s what we have been discussing here for the past few weeks.
Now we approach verses 18-21 as we see
how we should live in a Jesus honoring way in our homes.
He begins with wives.
“Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting to the Lord.”
This is directed to women as a
practical application of how wives should live in response to the love and freedom given through Christ.
So men… If you were to come up to me and say “Jordy, doesn’t the bible say wives should submit to their husbands and do what we say?”
I would look to you and ask “what is the first word in this verse?”
Wives
So this verse is addressing wives!
This is THEIR practical application!
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