I'd be Thankful if I Made Better Choices

Regrets

We all have them.

Some big. Some little.

Regret is not having what you want b/c you got what you wanted.

Don’t you wish there was a Rewind button in life!

I love to play. I love to compete.

Our family is rather competitive.

“When we play we will keep score b/c somebody has to lose. There might be blood. There will be tears.”

It’s the holidays. We will all be together. And we will play lots of games.

Growing up, my game was baseball.

9 years old through college, then softball.

Some summers I played on 2 teams. 6-7 days/ week.

Cost me friendships and girlfriends.

I don’t regret most of those.

Kept me out of a lot of trouble.

2 high school state championships.

Baseball World mag national championship

Wichita, KS Sports Hall of Fame.

Baseball played a huge role in me coming to Christ.

I don’t regret any of that.

But, today, b/c I threw so many baseballs I deal w/ arthritis.

Wrists, elbows, shoulders.

Shoulder surgery.

A knee that does not like down-hill hikes.

The last time my family went bowling I couldn’t.

Some choices in my life I don’t regret, some I do.

Some are complicated.

The bottom line, we all have that 1, 2, or 3 things we wish we would have done differently.

The key to making better choices is understanding where bad choices come from.

Better Choices

We make choices every day.

Your mind evaluates everything.

Our minds evaluate everything

Your will chooses what your mind wants.

What do you want?

If you want your way you will get in your own way and eventually lose your way.

No one knows everything that is coming up or going on.

Everyone involved in your way has their own complexities. And, they want their way, too.

If you do what you want to do you will end up where you don’t want to be and your options will be limited.

If you ignore all the stop signs, speed limits, directional signs, whether we’re talking traffic or relationships, you will crash and burn.

Once you’ve crashed you end up in the ER or divorce ct and others are telling you what you have to do.

If we get what we want now we may not be able to get what we want later.

Regret is not being able to get what you want because you got what your wanted.

Payments last longer than the new car smell. Regret lasts longer than the payments.

Get what you want now, regret it later. Later lasts longer.

You’ll never be able to get what your really want until you know what you value.

No one can answer this for you.

You have to discover it for yourself.

Unless we force ourselves to consider value we will be totally driven by wants.

And most wants are shallow, temporary, pleasure-driven.

Jesus came to point us toward not simply what we value but what is most valuable.

God assigns value.

Our Problem

Choices are driven by values.

Choosing value is not natural.

Driven by immediate wants is natural.

My way.

What I want to do.

Now.

There is an internal conflict between what comes naturally to us and choosing what is valuable.

Most people are unable to break through the natural and choose the valuable.

But when they do it changes everything about their lives for the better.

It’s Thanksgiving. We’re heading into Christmas.

Thanksgiving is an attitude that no just reserved for 1 day each year.

But, here’s the deal:

I’d be thankful if I had made better choices in my life.

The problem is better choices are un-natural.

The Apostle Paul is a great example of this. He wrote about it in .

He said, “I do what I hate to do.”

I Do What I Hate

Romans 7:15–19 NIV

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.

What kind of legacy do you want to leave.

Romans 7:15-

Yes, when you die, when you leave this earth, what will people say about you?

I don’t understand

Why did I say that, do that, buy that, eat all that…?!

What’s wrong w/ me?

But, also, when you leave the room, what do ppl say about you?

I know what I want to do. But in the moment I do the exact opposite.

Our perception of you is based on the choices we see you make. Your choices are based on your values.

In that moment it feels like it’s exactly what I want. Later, I know it’s not. Yet, I can’t not do it.

Now, I hate what I did and I hate myself for it.

Can you relate at all?

It doesn’t just go away

Maybe this was something he struggled with before he became a Christian.

Not so. He’s writing about what he’s dealing w/ now as a Christian.

It’d be great if it just went away once we became Christians. But, it doesn’t.

Paul. Before he was a Christian, he was a Pharisee. A Jewish leader, office holder, powerful, authoritative, influential, wealthy.

The authority to execute those who were threats. Like Christians.

Then, he became a Christian and he gave all this up.

Jesus gave up more for him so he willingly gave it up for Jesus.

Then, he sees all of his Pharisee buddies. They still have all the authority, power and wealth.

So, Paul tried really hard not to covet those things he gave up.

“Don’t covet. Don’t covet. Don’t Covent.”

Then, at the end of the day all he did was covet what he had given up, what his old friends still had.

He didn’t regret being a Christian now. But, on that raw, natural level, he ached for what he had given up.

And, he hated it. It dogged him. As a Christian, while he wrote most of the N.T.

What I want

He had the desire to do good, but he said he couldn’t get it done.

I know what I want but I can’t get it because I feel like I want something else.

B/C I feel that way I choose it then I hate that I chose it.

That should make you feel better. Paul couldn’t make better choices here.

What we naturally want now is often in conflict w/ what we ultimately want and value.

Christians struggle w/ this all of our lives.

If we embrace what is natural to us we will end up undermining our future, our marriage, retirement, hope, our ability to positively influence the generations that follow us.

Paul also wrote Galatians. Galatians is a mini-Romans.

In he wrote a list of things come naturally to us, that if we do them now we will regret them later. And, later lasts longer.

What Comes Naturally

Galatians 5:19–21 NIV

The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Galatians 5:

We’re broken

There is something inside of us that is broken.

Something is fundamentally wrong. It’s at the core of our being.

Our nature is broken. So, what comes naturally will be corrupt b/c our nature is broken.

Sin-nature.

When we follow the desires of our broken nature the results are very clear.

I can’t do what I want to do. I know what it is. But in that moment I just can’t get it done.

I can’t lose weight b/c in that moment I want more.

I can’t save money b/c in that moment I want that thing.

I can’t tell the truth b/c in that moment I want you to think more of me.

Ironically, all these, and any other example we can come up w/, conflict w/ the very things we ultimately want and value.

But, b/c we’re broken, we just can’t get it done in the heat of the moment.

Looking at that piece of pie, test-driving that new car, wanting you to think I’m better than I feel like I am.

And lying to you about it only makes me feel worse and more likely to lie again. The vicious cycle.

What we’re naturally like

Hard to admit. But, we know it’s true.

Idolatry - What I spend time and money that I should be spending on God and the ppl who love me.

Sorcery - Trying to control others. Manipulation. I want you to do what I want you to do.

Jealousy - Celebrating someone else’s problems. That person you know who was always in great shape then they got hurt and put on a few lbs. “YES!”

That perfect marriage and you hear they hit a rough patch.

That wealthy family who got sued and lost everything.

I don’t know why I do it but I do and it’s destroying me, my family, future financial security.

The answer is simple. It all comes naturally. W/out effort. These kinds of choices roll out of us. B/C we’re broken.

However, we don’t have to be like this. It requires an un-natural, or super-natural effort. But, we don’t have to be this way.

We can break through what comes naturally and choose what is valuable.

James addressed what we have to be aware of to be able to choose the valuable, which is what we really want.

He said, the key is, don’t be deceived.

We’re being lied to.

Don’t be Deceived

James 1:14–16 NIV

but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters.

James 1:

Dragged away

Trying hard to do the right thing then something or someone comes along and drags you away.

She came along and dragged you away from your wife.

That ad or sale came along and dragged you away from your debt-free commitment.

That ‘sure-thing’ investment came along and dragged you away from your retirement and future financial security.

That old bad habit came along and dragged you away from the success and hope you had found after all these years.

Conception

Desires for immediate gratification, what you want right now, the pursuit of pleasure.

When the desires that come from a broken nature are pursued they give birth to sin and sin kills stuff.

Later, , we talked about last week, why do we kill?

We kill things because we have wants that come from broken natures that aren’t really what we want.

But, b/c we want them in heat of that moment, we feel like they are what we really want, but once we’ve got them we realize they aren’t what we want.

We kill marriages, relationships w/ children, careers, chasing what we think we want. Then, we discover it wasn’t what we thought and all we’re left w/ is bodies and relationships in our wake.

Why?

We are easily deceived.

Deception

James knows how easily we are deceived.

We will quickly trade the ultimate for the immediate.

Later for the now;

Valuable for the natural.

We make bad choices b/c we are broking and easily susceptible to being deceived.

Ultimately, it wasn’t the other woman that deceived us, it wasn’t that ad that deceived us, or that sure-thing investment your BIL told you about.

We have an enemy. And, the Enemy knows how to play what’s broken w/in us.

He knows where we are weak and He plays on that.

What tempts me may not tempt you, and vice versa.

Following that enemy is giving into the deception.

And, you will never get what you really want b/c you’re constantly chasing what you want in that moment, what He has tempted you to take, sacrificing future security and satisfaction.

Go get your way and you’ll get in your own way then lose your way.

That He has tempted you to take.

Go do what you want to do and you’ll end up where you don’t want to be.

Go do it now and you’ll regret it later.

But that’s not what the enemy wants you to believe. He wants you to believe you’ll get what you want.

But that’s a deception.

Follow Jesus and He will set you straight.

Jesus will point you toward what is most valuable.

Then, He will give you the ability to do the un-natural thing, the super-natural thing.

Following Jesus will make your life better and make you better b/c you’ll make better choices and you will feel better.

The key to making better choices is understanding where bad choices come from.

We’re broken.

Fight the deception. Fight the desires that want you to choose bad things.

Follow Jesus and He will point you to what is most valuable so you can choose what you really want.

I’ll be talking more about this next week.

Applications

The key to making better choices is understanding where bad choices come from.

I’d be thankful if I made better choices.

But better choices are un-natural.

Jesus gives us super-natural abilities to make un-natural choices, choosing the valuable over the natural, that will make our lives better.

Thanksgiving won’t just be the 4th Thursday in November but a characteristic of our entire lives.