1 Corinthians: Relationship Questions - 1 Cor 7

Paul deals with two “questions” in this chapter that the Corinthians sent to him. It is important to try to recognize the questions or challenges that Paul is attempting to answer within each section so we can properly understand these passages.

· “Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: ‘It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.’” ().

· “Now concerning virgins…” ()

Paul may have dealt with these questions/challenges in the order that they appeared in the letter they sent to Paul, but it is difficult not to look at these first two questions in contrast to chapters 5-6 where Paul exhorts the Corinthians regarding sexual immorality that is within the church. In these two questions that Paul deals with in ch7, it seems that he is dealing with a group within the church that was reacting/over-reacting to the sexual immorality in the church by making arguments about abstaining from marriage and sexual relationships altogether. It seems from Paul’s arguments in verses 2-16, that they were encouraging married brethren to abstain from a sexual relationship with their spouses and even to divorce their spouses.

This happens a lot in churches where you have one group that believes or practices a certain thing that may be wrong, and another group that holds a reactionary view that over-reacts to the problem, and because of this, holds a position that is equally wrong. This is always something that we need to guard ourselves against. Over-reacting to false teaching or sin doesn’t usually lead one to the truth on a matter.

In this chapter, Paul responds to these views. He shows that he does see some wisdom in refraining from marriage and even from the sexual relationship in marriage in some circumstances. In verse 1, Paul quotes the position of the ascetic wing of the church and shows his agreement with it to a point, and throughout the chapter he gives some wisdom regarding instances in which it may be good to stay unmarried or to abstain from the sexual relationship within marriage. But Paul doesn’t agree with all of their positions in this chapter. It is good in SOME circumstances to do these things, but not in all circumstances. There are instances in which it is not wise to stay unmarried and to abstain from sex within the marriage relationship.

WISDOM REGARDING STAYING UNMARRIED

First, in verse 8, Paul speaks to those who are unmarried and widows… I believe Paul is talking to widows and widowers in this section. There was not a word in the Greek for a widower, so it seems Paul uses the word that would be commonly used regarding widowers… He will deal with those who have not ever been married later on in the chapter. But regarding those who are widows and possibly widowers, Paul says that it is good for them to remain as he is… It is good to remain unmarried.

Then in verse 26, Paul deals with those who have never been married, and he says about the same… He says that it is good, considering the present distress, to remain in the situation that they are in, being unmarried… We don’t know exactly what this present distress was. It could have been many things… Persecution and false teaching in Corinth, financial difficulties because of the economy in Corinth, or possibly even the division within the church needing to be dealt with… any number of things could lead Paul to give the advice that it is better at the present moment to remain unmarried…

He gives the reason why this may be a good idea in verses 32-35… His desire for the brethren in Corinth was to be wholly devoted to the Lord and to have no distractions during whatever this present distress was. He wants them to be free from concern as he is. It is just the case that whenever one is married, they are pulled in many different directions because of duties that you need to fulfill in the family. This is not to say that those who are married are not serving the Lord in those relationships, but it is the case that when you are married, you have to devote time to caring for that relationship. And then if you have children, the time caring for the needs of your family multiplies. Those who are single have a lot more time to do things to help and serve others because they don’t have as many demands on their time.

Paul is speaking from experience here. He sees this in his own situation as a preacher of the Gospel and an Apostle. Being an unmarried man helped him have less concerns whenever he was being persecuted. He didn’t have to worry about how a wife or children were going to be taken care of.

BUT…

But once again, Paul only agrees with their position to a point… There are situations where he shows that it is not a good idea to abstain from marriage and the sexual relationship within marriage.

Verse 2 shows that there are instances where Paul does not agree with the ascetic views of the brethren in Corinth. It seems from verses 1-2 that they were even saying that within marriage the sexual relationship should be abstained from. Paul tells them that this is not the case… In verse 2, Paul says,

“2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

Paul is telling those who are married that they need to continue to have a sexual relationship because of temptations to commit sexual immorality. In verse 2, where Paul uses the word “have,” he is referring to a sexual relationship. He uses this terminology in ch5 to refer to the man who was committing fornication with his father’s wife. He said that the man “had” his father’s wife, talking about the sexual relationship he was having with her.

Paul is showing here that one of the purposes of the sexual relationship within marriage is to guard those who are married from committing adultery. Sex is not just for procreation. It has other purposes – physical pleasure and intimacy, protecting the relationship from adultery, etc.

So Paul tells those who are married. Have a sexual relationship with your spouse…

DIVORCE (7:10-16)

It also seems from what Paul says in this section that, not only should the sexual relationship within marriage be abstained from, but they also encouraged divorce so that one could be more spiritual of a disciple.

APPLICATION

Regarding being unmarried

In verse 7, Paul talks about singleness and marriage as gifts from God. These are both times of blessing in our lives. We hear a lot about the blessings within marriage and the blessings of having children in the church today, but nowhere near as much do we hear about the blessings of singleness. At times, it seems that be unmarried or single is viewed as a situation that you don’t want to be in. If you are getting into your late 20s and early 30s, sometimes it seems that the idea exists among God’s people that this is a bad thing… that God in some way is punishing someone if he has not blessed them with a spouse yet. Some view singleness as a curse.

Then we wonder why those who are not married get discouraged and insecure, and then they get desperate to find someone and then end up marrying someone that won’t be helpful to them spiritually.

Singleness is not a problem that needs to be fixed. Instead of just encouraging those who are unmarried to find a spouse, they need to be encouraged on how to serve the Lord the best in the situation that they are in as an unmarried person, and God’s people need to help them to see how important (and needed) they are to the kingdom. I know unmarried Christians that are some of the most zealous Christians I know who make a bigger impact on the kingdom than many married Christians.

Singleness is a gift from God that is to be used to glorify him, just as marriage is. Let’s stop looking at being unmarried as a situation one needs to be desperate to get out of to receive true blessing. Yes, it is a good thing to have a spouse. But Paul, more than once in this chapter, says that being unmarried is a good thing also.

Being unmarried/singleness can be a situation one makes a life-long commitment to ().

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1 Corinthians: Relationship Questions - 1 Cor 7

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