The Gift of Friendship

How many people received “twelve drummers drumming” this past Friday? Why would I ask you that?

This past Friday, January 5th, 2018, was the “twelfth” day, of “The Twelve Days of Christmas” and of the popular song that many of us are familiar with during the Christmas holiday! January 5th is also called the Eve of Epiphany, with yesterday, the 6th of January, actually being, Epiphany!

Why do I mention this to you? Well, with Friday being the last of the twelve days of Christmas and the associated gifts that each of the twelve days brought with it, (hence, me asking you the question about the 12 drummers drumming), and yesterday being the day of Epiphany and the association of the wise men bearing gifts to the Christ child, I found this a fitting way to introduce, yet another gift to you that we have been given from our great God and Father.

Over the past few weeks, I have talked with you about several “gifts” that we have been given from God, coming through His amazing gift to us; HIS SON, our Lord and Savior, Jesus the Christ!

I talked to you about the gifts of, redemption, of peace and of hope!

Each of these, in its own right, being a paramount thing that the world desperately needs to see and hear through us, the believers, the followers, the disciples.......the Children of God!

In some ways, we have become like the magi, the wise men, as we now bear gifts that we offer.

However, instead of us bearing gifts from the world for the Christ, we now bear the gift of the Christ for the world!

And today’s lesson is no different. It deals with yet another gift that we have from our Lord!

This gift, that I speak of today, in and of itself, is not totally unique to the Christian faith and yet, this gift, is most pure and perfect and beneficial, when it is paired up with our FAITH in Jesus the Christ!

Let me give you a line from a popular song made famous in the 70’s and see if you can guess the gift that I am talking about this morning.

“Winter, spring, summer, or fall, All you have to do is call And I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got a..........................................................”

Right, “you’ve got a FRIEND!”

This is one of many songs that were written about the glorious gift of friends/friendship!

To name a few others: “You’re My Best Friend”, “Thank You for Being a Friend”, “That’s What Friends Are For”, “You’ve Got a Friend In Me”, “Friends in Low Places”, “Anytime You Need a Friend”, “Waiting on a Friend”, All my Rowdy Friends (Have settled Down), “Whenever I Call You Friend”.

You see, the secular, natural world knows and understands the need for and the benefit of having FRIENDS!

That’s why I just said that this “gift” is not inherent, or unique to just Christians.

But, like the other gifts that I have mentioned over the last few weeks, they, as well as the gift of FRIENDSHIP, are only ever completely realized and fulfilled, when they come under the power, the grace, the LOVE of Jesus Christ!

How many of you remember what it was like when you were a child in elementary school and the process that we went through in picking and choosing friends?

It could be something as simple as going up to a new kid in class and saying to them, “Hi, I’m Chris. You wanna be friends?” (Children are just more tolerant and accepting of social engagements like this!)

Gaining a friend in school, could come from schoolyard recess time, when you found out that another boy in class had the same interest and love for bubble gum trading cards, or comic books, or jacks or marbles!

It could as innocent as two little girls who start playing pat a cake together and realize that they had a natural rhythm for it.

While engaging in a friendly game of Red Rover, two kids see that while they locked hands, no one could through them and thus, a lasting friendship is born!

Or, the more devious method, that little girls were really good at, would be if a one of the prettiest girls in class looks over and sees some guy with a brand new Nutty Buddy ice cream bar at lunch and he’s getting ready to open and eat it and she walks over and flashes her pretty little eyes at him, as she smiles and says the infamous words, “If you let me have that ice cream bar, I’ll be your BEST FRIEND!”

I mean, what’s guy to do? The love that exists between a boy and his Nutty Buddy ice ream bar, is uncontested, and when it is being hijacked by some pretty little girl, it’s not fair! If the boy says, “NO, go away”, then the other guys pick on him and say something is wrong with him. If he says , “OK, you’re real pretty” and gives her the ice cream, then everyone knows that she walks, he gets no dessert and the guys still pick on him for being so gullible!

And unfortunately, of all of the childhood tactics that take place in securing friends, this is one that only gets worse as guys get a little older! (“If you’ll let me drive that new Ferrari”, “If you’ll buy me that new wring”, “If you’ll start taking the late shift for me at work, I’ll be your best friend!”

Anyway, I don’t need to do any great amount of defining about what a friend is, I mean, to some degree we all are familiar with them, right?!

My intent today is look at that of a friend, a true friend, and of what they look like and why we need them in this life!

I think the biggest reason that I felt so compelled to speak about FRIENDS this morning and the reason that the story that just jumped out of the Bible in front of me, without me even looking for it, or even knowing that this is what I was going to be talking about, is simply that of the new groups that we are finally going to be starting soon! Many of you have been asking about them, since I first announced it last year.

MENTION OF HOW THE TIMING WAS NOT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME WE WERE LOOKING INTO STARTING THESE GROUPS! (MENTION OF HOW THE TIME IS HERE AND ABOUT THE BENEFITS OF GETTING INVOLVED WITH A SMALL GROUP AND THE DERIVED RELATIONSHIPS AND FRIENDSHIPS THAT CAN BE BORN FROM THESE GROUPS!)

So, here we are, 2018, a new year and a new season for the church family at Cumberland Worship Center!

Also, mention that

And this year is going to be a year of NEW and growth!

Now, I’m not speaking a prophetic word, or giving you a, “thus saith the Lord”, but rather, I am simply speaking to you what’s on my heart! AMEN?!

That being said, let’s jump into the word and look at the account that prompted the lesson for today.

Turn with me to the book of .

1 Samuel 18:1–14 NLT

1 After David had finished talking with Saul, he met Jonathan, the king’s son. There was an immediate bond between them, for Jonathan loved David. 2 From that day on Saul kept David with him and wouldn’t let him return home. 3 And Jonathan made a solemn pact with David, because he loved him as he loved himself. 4 Jonathan sealed the pact by taking off his robe and giving it to David, together with his tunic, sword, bow, and belt. 5 Whatever Saul asked David to do, David did it successfully. So Saul made him a commander over the men of war, an appointment that was welcomed by the people and Saul’s officers alike. 6 When the victorious Israelite army was returning home after David had killed the Philistine, women from all the towns of Israel came out to meet King Saul. They sang and danced for joy with tambourines and cymbals. 7 This was their song: “Saul has killed his thousands, and David his ten thousands!” 8 This made Saul very angry. “What’s this?” he said. “They credit David with ten thousands and me with only thousands. Next they’ll be making him their king!” 9 So from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David. 10 The very next day a tormenting spirit from God overwhelmed Saul, and he began to rave in his house like a madman. David was playing the harp, as he did each day. But Saul had a spear in his hand, 11 and he suddenly hurled it at David, intending to pin him to the wall. But David escaped him twice. 12 Saul was then afraid of David, for the Lord was with David and had turned away from Saul. 13 Finally, Saul sent him away and appointed him commander over 1,000 men, and David faithfully led his troops into battle. 14 David continued to succeed in everything he did, for the Lord was with him.

Note: The moment that Jonathan and David meet, Jonathan had an immediate bond for David. Their “souls” had a deep bond for one another!

This is not your, “Hey let’s hoot some hoops every now and then” friendship. This is a bonding of two souls, which is to say, the deep seated will, thought and emotion of these two men, that were linked instantly.

Have you ever met someone and you were instantly drawn to them and you loved and desired their attention and company?

I am not referring to opposite sex attractions, or the like, but rather, two persons who love and desire to be around one another, simply for the sake of being in each other’s company.

When you find a really close friend, you just know that you love being around that person, there likes, dislikes, personality, etc. mesh up with something inside of you and it resonates and you love their friendship!

The Bible says that Jonathan loved David as he loved himself. Note this instant depth of brotherly affection and of how it mirrors one of the two greatest commandments: “Love your neighbor as yourself”, that existed between the two of them? It was there naturally and instantly.

A covenant was made between these two friends, almost instantly, that held their bond of friendship intact and for life!

To show how committed to this covenant and this friendship with David Jonathan was, the Bible says that he stripped off his royal insignia, his armour and garments and weapons and gave them to David.

This may seem trivial to some of us now, but when you realize what he did, it was HUGE!

Jonathan was showing that he recognized David’s worth and David’s authority, as God had now chosen David to be king and leader, and in doing so, Jonathan was releasing his own personal rights and position of authority, (as he was the prince and the rightful king to be of the throne.) In other words, Jonathan was laying aside his rights to deity, for the good of his best friend, because God had chosen David and Jonathan honored God’s will and choice over his own personal gain!

Similar to another person that we know of , who stepped aside from their rightful position of power and honor and authority to became a servant to their friends, all because it was the will of God! (Sound familiar to anyone?)

Read ,

Philippians 2:1–8 NLT

1 Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? 2 Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. 3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. 5 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. 6 Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. 7 Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, 8 he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross.

This is one of the major points and benefits of being and having a TRUE FRIEND. A true FRIEND always looks out for the betterment of the other; not self-serving and self-seeking.

A friend who looks out for you and looks to better you and your best interests, is a true blessing!

The whole thing of Jonathan and his surrendering the implementations of warfare to David will make more sense once you understand part of the attraction of these two friends. THEY HAD MUCH IN COMMON and it was their like mindedness that instantly drew their hearts and souls together!

TELL OF JONATHAN’S VICTORIES IN BATTLE IN AND 14 AND OF HIS BEING A GREAT WARRIOR,AS WAS DAVID. ALSO, JONATHAN AND DAVID SHARED ANOTHER COMMON LOVE; THEY BOTH LOVED AND SERVED YAHWEH!

In conjunction with this, when Jonathan gave David his armor and his sword and bow, it also huge, because according to , the Philistines wouldn’t allow a blacksmith to exist for the Israelites, for fear of them making weapons. So, according to the scripture, at wartime, only Saul and Jonathan owned a sword.

Well, guess what Jonathan gave to his new bestest friend? Yep, his prized possession and war instrument; HIS SWORD!

It is important here to note something that was going on behind the scenes that led to David’s being chosen by God as king, this certain something was also an important factor that affected David and Jonathan’s friendship. That common thing that was driving all of this, was Jonathan’s own father, Saul, the first king over Israel!

Speak about Saul’s rebellion as noted in chapter 13 and 15. In chapter 13 Saul offered the burnt offerings to God, when it was not his to, but the priests and Samuel told him then that his reign as king would be cut short. Then in chapter 15, Saul did not listen to God’s word and spared the life of the Amalekite king and live stock. This rebellion cost Saul dearly, as God rejected him and even lamented about ever making him king.

The Bible says that the Spirit of God had left Saul and the Spirit came upon David, from the day that he was anointed and on!

Saul sinned and David sinned, yet the Spirit of God remained on David in power. What was the difference between the two of them? The condition of their hearts to serve and obey God and David’s deep desire to be continually in the presence of God, that was the difference!

Saul is an example of the “world” and being in the world and the lonely, bitter, epmtiness that comes from it. Even someone who still clings to the name of God as Saul did.

Jonathan, who came from the house of Saul, is an example of someone who reveres God as Lord in their heart and has deep, lasting friendships that stem from this love and obedience to God!

Saul HATED David and the Bible even says that David remained Saul’s enemy the rest of his life!

This sort of thing can make having a best FRIEND kind of difficult!

“Hey man, let’s hang out tomorrow!”

“Cool, what do you want to do?”

“Let’s just hang out at your place for awhile.”

“No can do bro. My dad hates you unconditionally and has sworn to kill you!”

“Bummer man!”

“I know, right?!”

So, you can begin to see that this friendship was tested from the start.

Saul was willing to do whatever it took to kill David, his competition for the throne. (Even though, technically, God was the one who chose David.)

You see, once you are out of the will of God, you no

He tried, on a couple of instances to kill David with his own spear, he tried using marriage to his daughters as a way to set up David and have him killed in battle by the Philistines. (Elaborate for fun about the bridal payment that Saul asked for 100 foreskins from the Philistines)

In the opening of chapter 19, you see Saul trying to get Jonathan and others to kill David!

However, because Jonathan was David’s best friend he went to David and told him of his father’s will against him!

Jonathan had David hide in the field the next morning and listen in on a conversation between Jonathan and Saul. In this conversation, Jonathan spoke highly about David and let Saul know that David had done nothing against him and only did things to better him. Even at the risk of David’s own life!

Saul relented and said, “As surely as the LORD lives, David will not be killed.”

So, Jonathan reinstated his best friend with Saul.

It wasn’t long before Saul was trying to kill David again!

SPEAK OF DAVID GOING TO HIS HOUSE WITH MICHAL AND SAUL SENDING HIT MEN TO KILL HIM IN THE MORNING. MICHAL WARNED DAVID AND HELPED HIM ESCAPE OUT THE WINDOW. SHE THEN TOOK A HOUSE IDOL AND MADE A DUMMY AND PUT IT IN THE BED TO FOOL THE MEN SENT TO KILL DAVID! THIS CHAPTER ENDS WITH DAVID GOING TO STAY WITH SAMUEL AND SAUL SENDING THREE DIFFERENT SETS OF TROOPS TO CAPTURE DAVID. (ALL 3 GROUPS AND EVENTUALLY SAUL, ENDED UP COMING UNDER THE SPIRIT OF GOD AND PROPHESYING!)

Tell of chapter 20 and David and Jonathan’s plan to see if Saul is really trying to kill David.

Did you know that having really close, intimate friends, have health benefits?

THE IMPORTANCE OF FRIENDS One of the most thorough research projects on relationships is called the Alameda County Study. Headed by a Harvard social scientist, it tracked the lives of 7,000 people over nine years. Researchers found that the most isolated people were three times more likely to die than those with strong relational connections. People who had bad health habits (such as smoking, poor eating habits, obesity, or alcohol use) but strong social ties lived significantly longer than people who had great health habits but were isolated. In other words, it is better to eat Twinkies with good friends than to eat broccoli alone. Harvard researcher Robert Putnam notes that if you belong to no groups but decide to join one, “you cut your risk of dying over the next year in half.” For another study, as reported in the Journal of the American Medical Association, 276 volunteers were infected with a virus that produces the common cold. The study found that people with strong emotional connections did four times better fighting off illness than those who were more isolated. These people were less susceptible to colds, had less virus, and produced significantly less mucous than relationally isolated subjects. (I’m not making this up. They produced less mucous. This means it is literally true: Unfriendly people are snottier than friendly people.)

Did you know that it’s the friendship aspect in a marriage that makes it last?

Did you know that it is scientifically proven that the company of good friends reduces stress in life?

Did you know that close friends share about 1% of their DNA, which is as close as 4th cousins?

The point to all of this is that we NEED friends and even more so, close friends in our lives!

God created relationships for a reason; not just marital relationships, but friendships!

The beauty of how God designed us is that we are free to pick and choose who we associate with and who we designate as FRIENDS.

You can tell a lot about a person, by the people that they are closest to and who they count as their closest friends.

The Bible says this, “Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

“Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.”

25 or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.

“Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.”

“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

Do you have a friend who sticks closer than a brother/sister?

What does the company that you keep, say about you?

There is a statement about true friends that says, "It is one of the severest tests of friendship to tell your friend his faults. If you are angry with a man, or hate him, it is not hard to go to him and stab him with words; but so to love a man that you cannot bear to see the stain of sin upon him, and to speak painful truth through loving words, that is friendship. But few have such friends. Our enemies usually teach us what we are, at the point of the sword."

Or, the Bible says the same thing, this way, “Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”

"It is one of the severest tests of friendship to tell your friend his faults. If you are angry with a man, or hate him, it is not hard to go to him and stab him with words; but so to love a man that you cannot bear to see the stain of sin upon him, and to speak painful truth through loving words, that is friendship. But few have such friends. Our enemies usually teach us what we are, at the point of the sword."

In other words, when you are sinning and doing wrong, a true FRIEND will tell you, even when it hurts and stings the friendship some! Fools that call themselves your friends, will let you walk right into the gates of hell and say nothing to you; kissing you with flattery all the way there!

"It is one of the severest tests of friendship to tell your friend his faults. If you are angry with a man, or hate him, it is not hard to go to him and stab him with words; but so to love a man that you cannot bear to see the stain of sin upon him, and to speak painful truth through loving words, that is friendship. But few have such friends. Our enemies usually teach us what we are, at the point of the sword."

6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.

You will find that you have many throughout your life that can be labeled as a “FRIEND” (some of these should be more accurately labeled as acquaintances vs. friends), and yet there are very few who are your closest, most intimate and deep relationships. YOUR BEST FRIENDS!

These are the ones who truly care about you, who invest into you and your well being. These are your JONATHANS!

They go out of their way to protect you and look out for your best interests.

They do not ask you to do things that are against God’s will for your life. (I have even had friends years ago that I was close to, who did not embrace the Lord as I developed my relationship with Jesus. Yet, they honored my decision and never asked me to do anything that was against my belief as a Christian. Of course as the years went on, they drifted further and further away in closeness, and yet they still respected my decision. They cared about me as a TRUE FRIEND!)

As I mentioned from the beginning, the world has friendships, but without Jesus as the center of your lives, then your friendships are limited and heading down a path of destruction.

Remember Job in the Bible? When Job was being tested and he had lost, basically everything in life that he cared about, he still had three FRIENDS who came to him.

Now, it important to note a few things about these three friends: Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar.

They did in fact, come to Job’s side when they saw that he was suffering. They showed empathy towards Job and his horrible situation, as they wept aloud with him and tore their robes and put ashes upon themselves. They spent time with Job in his suffering in both silence, as well as vocalizing things to him.

This, is where the friendship takes a turn, however! As Job’s three friends began to speak to Job, they unleashed on him words of judgement as to why he was suffering and even saying that Job must have sinned against God and that was the reason for his situation!

They had no truth to what they were saying, just ignorant and judgmental statements to Job, which God wold later rebuke them for!

Job even cries out about them and says, “One should be kind to a fainting friend, but you accuse me without any fear of the Almighty. My brothers, you have proved as unreliable as a seasonal brook that overflows its banks in the spring when it is swollen with ice and melting snow. But when the hot weather arrives, the water disappears. The brook vanishes in the heat.”

One should be kind to a fainting friend,

but you accuse me without any fear of the Almighty

that overflows its banks in the spring

16 when it is swollen with ice and melting snow.

In other words, you’re full of flattery and comfort when I don’t need it, (when it is benefiting you), but when I need a true friend, you have no comfort to offer me, only dry, harsh words!

17 But when the hot weather arrives, the water disappears.

The amazing friendship of Jonathan and David doesn’t end as you might hope, yet it ends with the beauty of a TRUE and LASTING FRIENDSHIP!

The brook vanishes in the heat.

The last time that these two friends ever see each other again, as recorded in the Bible, is found in . In this chapter, we find David, still running for his life because of Saul, (a.k.a. his father in law, his employer and the father of his best friend and brother-in-law, Jonathan). And while in the wilderness, Jonathan comes to David, to ENCOURAGE him and reaffirm to David that he WOULD become king over Israel. The Bible says that Jonathan, A TRUE BEST FRIEND, came to David to encourage him to remain strong in his faith in God! (That is the sign and test of a true FRIEND! What they say to you should line up with the word of God and it should promote God first?!)

Jonathan reminded David of their covenant between the two and they reaffirmed the covenant. Jonathan told David that David would be king and he would hopefully be there alongside of David, (Even though Jonathan was, by right the next in line) he promoted God’s chosen servant first!

In David learns that Saul was killed in battle. He also learns that Jonathan, his best friend, died in that same battle. David, the great psalmist and poet, wrote a song of lament about the loss of these two men. (Even though Saul was out to kill David, David still honored him as God’s servant, and refused to ever come against Saul!)

This is what David said of Jonathan in ,

Oh, how the mighty heroes have fallen in battle!

Jonathan lies dead on the hills.

26 How I weep for you, my brother Jonathan!

Oh, how much I loved you!

2 Samuel 1:25–26 NLT

25 Oh, how the mighty heroes have fallen in battle! Jonathan lies dead on the hills. 26 How I weep for you, my brother Jonathan! Oh, how much I loved you! And your love for me was deep, deeper than the love of women!

And your love for me was deep,

deeper than the love of women!

Many foolish people, especially nowadays, have made the claim that the Bible was showing that Jonathan and David had some sexual love thing going on. This indicated by the statement that Jonathan’s love was deeper than the love of a woman.

David knew many women intimately, as he had many several wives. And even at these physically and emotionally deep relationships that he had with his wives, not a single one of them was as selfless and truly caring for David, as was his BEST FRIEND, JONATHAN! Jonathan and his love for David, was a gift from God that served to foster and encourage David when his life was in turmoil!

It was the great theologian, Thomas Aquinas, who said, “There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.”

Jesus Christ, Himself walked out this model, as He chose the twelve (through careful prayer to His Father, I might add) and then poured His life into them over the next 3.5 years. He always looked out for what was best for them and served them.

Out of the hundreds of other followers/disciples that Jesus had, He had his close twelve!

And out of the close 12, He had his still closer 3!

And from the closer three, He had His one BEST FRIEND, John the beloved.

Close with A STORY OF FRIENDSHIP

Do you have any TRUE FRIENDS in your life?

Do they tell you the TRUTH in love, even when it hurts them to do so, because they truly care about you and your eternal future?

Do you have a best FRIEND, A JONATHAN, who seeks you out, even though it may cost them dearly, and not for their own benefit, but to comfort and exhort you?

Friends, this is why we need groups like these that we are starting. So that we can engage and invest into each other’s lives and become: new friends, closer friends and even best FRIENDS!

Just as God desg