Marriage God's Way: Getting On Course

It doesn’t take a social scientist to figure out that marriage today is in trouble. Adultery, divorce, depression, alcoholism, work-alcoholism, and a host of other “isms” have reached epidemic proportions. It may have been Benjamin Franklin who said, “A disease is never brought under control simply by treating the casualties.” Wouldn’t it be great if we could prevent some of these spiritual diseases from claiming casualties in our marriages? Which causes me to ask the next question.

Is it possible to build a healthy marriage from the inside-out and prevent such devastating problems? Can we create marital dynamics that break with the patterns that perpetuate hurt and sin? I believe the answers to these questions is yes! Now, it’s not my intention to offer the next and latest formula for having a Christian marriage. I want to talk about our hearts. It’s about our opportunity to examine the state-of-heart with which we approach the task of building healthy marital relationships. This message is about getting back on course.

The only way of getting back on course in Christian marriage is to apply the spiritual principles upon which marriage was founded. My prayer is, that as you hear and see today the Holy Spirit will bring to light ways that you can apply what you learn. And as you become rightly related to God, by His grace He will lead and empower you to get back on course in your Christian marriage. So, to get back on course in our Christian marriage let’s look to:

Getting at the Heart of God’s Plan for Christian Marriage

Christ is Always the Missing Ingredient

God’s Original Plan

We were made in His Image - Human purpose is to reflect all God is.

Woman was created as a suitable help-mate

Not lesser - created to be a “perfect fit”

Co sobduoers

The goal — all fulfillment comes from two things

Walking with God

Subduing the earth

The Curse

None of that works right.

Man is always trying to rule in ways they shouldn’t

Woman is always seeking fulfillment from a place they shouldn’t

The curse fleshes itself out in many ways, but we are all under it.

What perfect looks like - NOT the way to get there

Throughout the Bible are these commands that set the bar

Matthew 5:48 NIV

Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

1 Peter 1:16 NIV

for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”

1 Pe 1:1

Deuteronomy 6:5 NIV

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

This passage:

Husbands and Wives perfectly love and respect eachother

Children and parents

parents are honored

children are not exasperated

Slave Masters

Employees do what they are told

Employers seek to lift up the employee rather than keep them down.

It’s all the goal

The real answer is found in verse 18

Ephesians 5:18 NIV

Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit,

Drunk on wine - seeking a fulfillment from places other than where your supposed to be finding it

Be filled

Present - Whenever it is NOW

Passive - You can do it to yourself it has to be done’ for you — your roll is to allow it.

Imperative - Command - you have it within you to accomplish the task.

Not quantity - quality

Romans 8:9 NIV

You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ.

Not glass half full and you need more

More like alka-seltzer

Be permeated by the Spirit

All About Him

He is call the Counselor -

He convicts the world of guilt in regard to sin

When I am around unbelievers or even Christians in trouble I find that without me having to say anything, they are uncomfortable.

Same will be true of marriage. The more I allow the Holy Spirit to flow through my life, the better my marriage will become

I will be able to meet my wife’s needs better because the only one who can fill her needs lives in me.

If she is not doing her part, the Holy Spirit will work on her until she does.

It is ALWAYS about Him

To get your marriage back on course, you must get at the heart of God’s plan for marriage. And Paul says, “get your life from God.” Remain in a continuously dependent relationship with Him in order to meet your needs, then you’ll be filled to meet the needs of your spouse. Just do it! In fact, if Adam and Eve had remembered to do this, we wouldn’t be having this little talk right now. Secondly, we can get our Christian marriages back on course by:

Being Mutually Submissive in Christian Marriage

Benefits of Being Filled with the Spirit

14:15 He will be with you forever

14:25 Teach you all things

14:25 Teach you all things

14:25 Remind you of Christs teaching’s

14:25 Remind you of Christs teaching’s

16:7 Counselor

16:7 Counselor

16:8 The Spirit in you will convict the world of guilt in regards to righteousness

16:13 Guides us into truth

16:8 The Spirit in you will convict the world of guilt in regards to righteousness

16:13 Guides us into truth

Submit to One Another

This passage often leads to confusion so I want to do a couple things here to bring clarification

This passage is about Christ and the church

Ephesians 5:32 NIV

This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.

Eph 5:

If we use this passage out of context the mystery is to big for us.

The husband is Christ figure - we all know he is to imperfect

How is it possible to submit without being a door mat

How is it possible to lead the same way Christ did when we are not Christ?

Start simple we submit to eachother

We do our best to fulfill our rolls and we do our best to help our spouse fulfill theirs.

It’s impossible to do that without allowing the Spirit to fill us.

Submit does not mean you are lesser, it simply means we are being the person He made us to be.

Submission is mutual.

To the husband you own

Like Christ is the head - philippians — even to death on the cross

Its a race to do everything we can to help the other be the best they can be.

If we obey the scripture to be submissive to one another, we’ll have a relationship in which Jesus can be seen, an image-of-God relationship. When our filling comes from the Spirit and not from ourselves and when we’re mutually submissive to each other our marriages will get back on the course God designed. Finally, in getting our marriages back on course we must be:

Leaving and Cleaving in Christian Marriage

Genesis 2:24 NIV

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Genesis 2:24

Most of us have gotten past the obvious idea that our marriage relationship needs to supercede our relationship with parents.

The concept here though is that there should be NOTHING that comes between us.

We cleave to our spouse.

4. The mystery of how wives submit and how husbands lead is too big. As Christians we can help eachother, pray, offer advice, etc. Counseling can be and often is a great opportunity to get the help we need.

The mystery of how wives submit and how husbands lead is too big. As Christians we can help each other, pray, offer advice, etc. Counseling can be and often is a great opportunity to get the help we need.

Under normal circumstances, when an unmarried person is in a dependent relationship with his/her parents, a primary relationship exists between them. I’m using dependent as on your income tax return, not in reference to some emotional weakness. So when a son or daughter grows up and begins a relationship with the person he/she is going to marry, the relationship with his/her parents is supplemented by another, new secondary relationship. In addition, each person also acquires secondary relationships with the family members of their spouse-to-be. When they get married, however, things change drastically. Their relationships with the spouse’s family members remains the same (secondary), but their relationship with their own family members becomes secondary now.

In the end, we work this out with our spouse. We cleave to each other.

On the surface, leaving implies some kind of geographical change. And it does mean that. However, just because a couple goes away from, departs, even abandons or deserts their mother and father, doesn’t necessarily mean they ever really leave. In other words, they may be present with their spouse, but they’re stuck to their parents. That’s because they’ve not really left emotionally, socially, psychologically or financially. Their allegiance and energy is toward their family of origin and not toward their spouse. This always sends shaming messages to the spouse.

Sometimes in-laws make the situation worse, albeit unintentionally at times. They offer help that bails the couple out of every jam instead of offering to encourage them as they grow through it. They offer unwelcome advice and act hurt or insulted if it’s not taken. Or efforts by the couple to leave and cleave are taken as rejection. These parents control instead of support. It’s hard to leave your parents if doing so means you’re a bad child. Now, I’m not saying to break off your relationship with your parents. I’m not saying that you should never socialize with your parents or accept help or support from them. But I am encouraging you to do what it takes to leave your father and mother and cleave to your spouse. You need to do so, whether or not your parents take it personally, if you’re going to get your marriage back on course!

There’s no way we can get our marriages back on course by ourselves, in our own power. When we’re off course, Christ is the missing ingredient. He must be the center. So to get back on course we must be Getting at the Heart of God’s Plan by being filled with the Spirit. We must be Being Mutually Submissive in our marriages and we must be Leaving and Cleaving in our Christian marriages.