Communication

Introduction

This is the day that the Lord has made. We have a choice to make. We can rejoice and be glad in it or not. The choice we make about that and about everything that comes our way determines much of our effectiveness, our joy, our spiritual maturity and what tomorrow will be like.

This morning I am going to speak about the importance of good communication.

We have a choice to make. Either we listen, learn and apply or we listen, learn, and walk out of here doing the same things and thinking the same things we did when we walked in. The choice is ours to make.

I am speaking about good communication for two reasons.

First, We are preparing to share 40 Days of Love starting February 18th. One of the major tasks we have as a church is to get the world out. Debbie Scates is working with Sandy Keller and others. They are tasked with getting the word out to the church and community about what is happening. They plan the advertising, bulletins, and coordinate the flow of information about this focus on love and relationships.

Second, good communication is essential for our church. We need to communicate clearly with one another. Not only is good communication essential for our church, good communication is essential for stronger marriages, stronger families, stronger workplaces and a stronger community.

We are going to look at this issue of communication by highlighting the lessons learned from several passages in the Bible.

The first text is Romans 10:13-15. The apostle Paul makes a point by asking a question that has an obvious answer.

Listen to his question.

Romans 10:13–14 ESV

For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching?

Let me ask you the same question.

How can people believe in someone they never heard about?

We must agree with the apostle Paul when he asks this question. There is no way in the world anyone can believe in someone that they never heard about.

He goes on the a second question that is the same as the first. If they can’t believe unless they hear, how can they hear unless someone speaks up?

How can someone hear unless another person speaks up?

They can’t. We agree with the apostle Paul when he says that people cannot believe in someone they never heard about and cannot hear about someone that no one speaks about.

This is the essence of communication.

The essence of communication is to communicate.

In other words, if you want people to know something, you need to tell them. If you don’t tell them, don’t expect them to know.

Let’s say I showed up at your door with my suitcase in hand and, after you let me in, I marched down to one of your bedrooms, opened my suitcase and started putting clothes away.

I know your first question. Your first question would be a request for information, for knowledge. You would ask, “What in the world are you doing?”

At one level this is a bad question. It’s obvious what I would be doing. I would be unpacking my suitcase and hanging up my clothes…in your house. You said come over anytime and I did.

At another level its a good question because even though the immediate answer is obvious, there would be a secondary question that would be known by both you and me. That question would be, “Why are you here, what happened, why don’t you ask before you do something, what gives you the right to just move in and, finally, when are you leaving…like.....right now?

The problem with the scenario that I put before you is that there was no communication. I did not ask in advance. I did not share. I didn’t do anything but what I did. You, on the other hand, could not understand what I was doing because you didn’t know why I was there, what I was there for and how long I would be there.

The awareness of this principle, good communication starts with communicating, has motivated me to tell others about Jesus, the church, the Bible, and anything else of a spiritual nature. We don’t want to dump the whole load on them for sure. But if we don’t speak they won’t hear and if they don’t hear they cannot believe in Jesus Christ.

This is why my mother said, “Always call me if you are going to be late.” No call meant that she had no idea where I might be or what might have happened. This freed her up to worry excessively as the mind usually goes negative when it doesn’t have much information.

If I did call, she now could worry less or more, but whichever she did, she would do it with more knowledge and understanding.

There is a second aspect of this need to communication. Good communication starts with communication. Bad communication brings embarrassment, hurt, anger or a combination of the three.

Poor communication tears people down.

It does so in at least two ways.

First, poor communication tears people down by embarrassing them.

Here is our second verse.

Proverbs 18:13 ESV

If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.

What is the result of speaking up without hearing all the information? The person is embarrassed.

Maybe! The person speaking might not realize how others see them. They see the person as morally deficient, a fool and may be embarrassed by their actions.

Or, it might be that the person speaks up and then, when someone gives more information, realized how foolish they were are are embarrassed because their comments were way out of line.

Proverbs 18:2 ESV

A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.

How can the person hear unless someone speaks?

How can the person know unless he or she hears?

In other words, a person might not know all the story because others did not tell them. Based on what they knew, they spoke up. When they found out they were totally out of the loop, they were embarrassed by what they said.

Or the scenario that Solomon puts forth here is that the person could care less about getting more information, they just want to speak up to let others know that they have an opinion. If they just asked a few questions, they would be spared the embarrassment.

Embarrassed people feel pain because of this verbal encounter. It does not build up, no matter whether the person didn’t have the information because no one told him or he or she didn’t have the information because they spoke before they asked important questions.

Poor communications not only causes embarrassment,

Poor communication is often the basis of fights and quarrels.

This is our third verse.

James 4:1–2 ESV

What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask.

These verses highlight the self-centeredness that we all have. Our passions, our desires, are at war within us. We want certain things. We might want a house, a car, or some other material thing. We might want someone to love us or show us respect. We might want the family to get together and have a certain outcome in mind for that gathering. We might want the church to be a certain way or a ministry we are a part of to function according to our plan.

But we do not have what we want, according to this passage, because we do not speak up. We do not have because we do not ask.

Asking is no guarantee that we will get what we want either. But if we do not ask, if others don’t know, how can we expect them to consider or respond the way we want?

What happens within us? Even though we don’t ask, our passions, our desires still speak to us. When we interact with others, we fight and quarrel. Have you ever been in a fight or quarrel and wondered what the big deal was with the other person?

In many cases, the big deal was some information that you did not share with them or they did not share with you. Or maybe they did share and someone didn’t listen.

The result is that people were blindsided, torn down as a result of someone not speaking up.

So let’s look at this in a positive light.

Sharing information helps people to make life-changing decisions.

Sharing information reduces the chance that the people you love are embarrassed.

Sharing information reduces the chance for a fight or quarrel.

tThose of you involved in ministry teams need to understand this.

If your actions as a ministry are going to overlap and touch another ministry, involve them at some level in what is going on.

If the Elders make a decision that will effect the Sunday School, making that decision together or sharing the proposal with both groups before making a final decision will reduce the potential for embarrassment, fights and quarrels. The sharing of information may make the end result better. Those who are involved in hands-on ministry are often more aware of the impact decisions have than those who are removed from the day to day operations.

The work that was down downstairs on the new bathrooms and hallway were a joint effort between the youth, Sunday school, Junior Church, Nursery leaders and the trustees. The changing of the door in one of the bathrooms was done by the trustees to help the Sunday School teachers be able to keep an eye on any young children who might use the facilities while keeping an eye on their own classroom.

Good communication creates a better work environment. We are called to make disciples. We are called to work together in this effort. Good communication is essential if we are going to be effective carrying out the Great Commission.

So as we approach the 40 Days of Love, we have a team of people who are going to try to get the word out. You are part of that team. How can people know what is going on if no one tells them? The focus on loving one another an improving relationships in the home, church, workplace and community should resonate with both your Christian and non-Christian friends. Tell them that the church is offering a six week focus on improving relationships and practical acts of love. Invite them to a service. Invite them to join a small group. They will never come if they never hear about it.

If they hear about it, then in one sense, our job is done. We cannot nor do we want to force anyone to come, to believe, or to do anything. We want to encourage for sure. But the decision to get involved is theirs, not ours. So when we communicate, when we share the gospel, about the church, about spiritual truth, we have taken them one important step forward. They cannot act when they don’t even know what is happening. When they know what is happening, they now have a decision to make.

I see that as my job and the job our our Sunday school, youth group, and small group leaders. We are to let people know about Jesus, the Bible, the teachings of the faith so that they have enough information to accept or reject what God offers them.

I have used this illustration before, but it fits here. Our job is to fill the wood stove. Each piece of wood represent information we give to others. It may be a little information through a Bible verse, a testimony or a casual conversation. It may be a deeper discussion over a cup of coffee where people ask the important questions. Either way, we are adding fuel to the wood stove. It is up to the Holy Spirit to light the match. No wood, no fire. That’s our part. Wood and no fire? That is between the person and the Holy Spirit of God.

So communicate. Make sure that you don’t leave others in the dark. Tell others about Jesus, about the church, about God’s blessing in your life. Share what you are doing and why. Speak up.

Good communication is not a guarantee that everyone will love you and support you. Sometimes two people communicate very well and understand that they don’t agree.

But that does not take away the positive that your greatest hope for reducing embarrassment and minimizing quarreling and fighting is to share information.

This last week someone shared with me that they were trying to overcome an addiction. I told them about Celebrate Recovery. I don’t know if they will attend, but I do know that they would never attend if they didn’t know it existed, what it was about and when it met. What God does with that is in His hands. I did put kindling in the stove.

You may know people who want to make their marriage better. They may be struggling with the question of how to get along with co-workers. Letting them know about the 40 Days of Love and inviting them to be part of the Sunday event and a small group could be life changing. They might meet Jesus there!

So we have a choice to make. The Holy Spirit has been speaking to you about some aspect of communication. There is something you need to pursue or do. Do it for the glory of God.