Marriage. What God has done in Christ.

Ephesians 5:22–33 ESV

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Eric last week gave an encouraging exegesis on verses 22 - 33. I was asked to speak on Christian Marriage & The Profound Mystery.

Christian Marriage & The Profound Mystery

My focus today will be on verse 32 and why Paul inserts this when giving the commands listed in our text today.

I think it is important to first highlight Paul’s motive in writing these commands and the arrangement laid out in Ephesians so that we avoid the traps of a moral only marriage and legalistic motives in our submission and love to one another.

A moral driven marriage can be without God. People generally have a sense of right and wrong.

Legalism, a preoccupation with rules, happens when one focuses on rules with no dependency upon God. I think the motive will help us avoid these issues.

Legalism, a preoccupation with rules, happens when one focuses on rules with no dependency upon God.

I think the motive will help us avoid these issues.

The MacArthur Study Bible Title

The letter is addressed to the church in the city of Ephesus, capital of the Roman province of Asia (Asia Minor, modern Turkey). Because the name Ephesus is not mentioned in every early manuscript, some scholars believe the letter was an encyclical, intended to be circulated and read among all the churches in Asia Minor and was simply sent first to believers in Ephesus.

I do believe the motive can be found in .

Ephesians 5:1–2 ESV

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

It is important to remember what Paul wrote prior to his charge to be imitators so that we can know better his concern.

Prior to verse one Paul addresses believers in Chapter 4 verse 17 to “no longer walk as the Gentiles do.”

He goes on in verse 18 to explain how the Gentiles have a darkened understanding and how they are alienated from the life of God.

They have become calloused and have given themselves up to sensuality, they were greedy to practice every kind of impurity (verse 19).

Then Paul begins to expound on how believers are to respond because of what has been taught (verse 20) to them ( verses 22 - 31).

He tells them to respond by:

Putting off the old self.

Renewing the spirit of their minds.

English Standard Version Chapter 4

17 Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds. 18 They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. 19 They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. 20 But that is not the way you learned Christ!— 21 assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, 22 to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.

25 Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. 26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil. 28 Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. 29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Putting on the new self which was created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.

Putting away falsehood.

Being angry but not sinning.

Not letting the sun go down on your anger.

Giving no opportunity to the devil.

Not stealing but instead labor and work.

Not letting corrupt talk come out of the mouth.

Not grieving the Holy Spirit.

Putting away all bitterness, wrath, anger and slander.

Being kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Forgive one antoehr

English Standard Version Chapter 4

17 Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds. 18 They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. 19 They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. 20 But that is not the way you learned Christ!— 21 assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, 22 to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.

25 Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. 26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil. 28 Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. 29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

All this points to Paul’s motive and address to believers to be imitators of God.

There is much putting on and putting off in the life of the Christian. Though that be the case, we cannot and must not forget the object of our faith.

Paul does not leave out the example set by Christ. I would like to remind us also that it is even the means by which we can do any of what Paul charged believers to do. Jesus is not only the object of our faith but the means in order to do anything acceptable to God.

Being imitators requires an object to imitate. And we conform to the image of Christ.

Ephesians 5:1–2 ESV

1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Walk in love, but walk in love as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering to and sacrifice to God.

The basis to how and what we do and don’t do, rests upon what Christ has done.

And Paul clearly understands this. So much that this letter, inspired by God, as a whole is made up that way.

What God has done in Christ and how we as the body respond.

The motive in our imitating Christ, which includes submission and love, must come from what God in Christ has already done.

The second point I’d like to highlight is the arrangement (the way it was written) in Ephesians.

I saw a pattern when looking into the themes in the book and where they were placed.

I saw that Ephesians begins with what is called indicatives and the latter half with imperatives.

To help us understand these terms Sinclair Ferguson said,

Divine indicatives (statements about what God has done, is doing, or will do) logically precede and ground Divine imperatives (statements about what we are to do in response).

What this means is what God has done in Christ (indicative) comes before what we are to do (Imperative/response).

The work God has done made it possible for us to respond. Ephesians as a whole is written that way.

The first half from chapters 1 - 3 are full with indicatives. And it is for a reason. Which I will explain soon.

In the first chapter we see:

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He has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places

He chose us in him before the foundation of the world

He predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ

In him we have redemption through his blood

He set forth in Christ to unite all things in him

11 In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, 12 so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. 13 In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, 14 who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.

We were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit

, 14 who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.

Thanksgiving and Prayer

He gives the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him

15 For this reason, because I have heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love toward all the saints, 16 I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers, 17 that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, 18 having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, 19 and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might 20 that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, 21 far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. 22 And he put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church, 23 which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all.

The eyes of hearts have been enlightened

God raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places

He put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church

, 23 which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all.

And that is just chapter one!

Do you see what God in Christ has done?

English Standard Version Chapter 1

3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, 4 even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love 5 he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, 6 to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. 7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, 8 which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight 9 making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ 10 as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.

11 In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, 12 so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. 13 In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, 14 who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.

Thanksgiving and Prayer

15 For this reason, because I have heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love toward all the saints, 16 I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers, 17 that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, 18 having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, 19 and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might 20 that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, 21 far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. 22 And he put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church, 23 which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all.

Chapter 2 ()

ESV

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.

Chapter 3 ()

ESV

Of this gospel I was made a minister according to the gift of God’s grace, which was given me by the working of his power. To me, though I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to bring to light for everyone what is the plan of the mystery hidden for ages in God, who created all things, so that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places.

Why did Paul layout Ephesians this way?

Because the indicatives precede the imperatives.

What God has done in Christ comes before what we are to do.

The command must not precede what has been completed. This is what separates a moral driven marriage from a holy one.

A morally driven marriage can have a submissive wife and a loving husband.

But a holy driven marriage that trusts in the finished work of Christ looks to Jesus Christ for how to submit and love.

A morally driven marriage can produce kids who have good grades and are good with finances.

But a holy driven marriage should have parents that see themselves as ambassadors of Christ to their kids. They see what they have as temporary and not eternal.

A morally driven marriage can make it every Sunday to service.

But a holy driven marriage makes it on Sunday because they desire to be obedient to their heavenly Father and they desire to be with God’s people.

To concern yourselves with submission and love only is to be no different than an unbelieving couple who do good.

Paul in his letter was always concerned about the eternal. Always concerned about Christ. It was always about what God had done in Christ!

Paul forces the reader to make no mistake about the importance of the obedience and work done in Christ that made it possible for us obey.

So when we look at these commands to love and submit, we must look to what God has done in Christ first in order to subject the passions that so easily entangle us away from being conformed to the image of Christ.

I believe the arrangement is clear and that is how we are to look at our text today.

The Divine indicatives always precede and ground the Divine imperatives!

What God has done in Christ always comes before what we are to do.

Example of

As an example I remember when Nas in 1996 came out with the album “It Is Written.”

In it he had a song entitled, “If I ruled the world.” It featured Lauryn Hill, who at the time was iconic and till this day is one of, if not the best female MC of all time.

The single was his’ first Top 20 R&B hit, and was also nominated for a 1997 Grammy Award for Best Rap Solo Performance. The single reached number 53 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart, number 17 on the Billboard Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Singles & Tracks chart, and number 15 on the Billboard Hot Rap Tracks chart.

The single reached number 53 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart, number 17 on the Billboard Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Singles & Tracks chart, and number 15 on the Billboard Hot Rap Tracks chart.

I remember when the song came out. It had one of the best MC’s of all time and Lauryn Hill.

It was one of the best combinations ever in a single track. A classic in Hip Hop for sure.

But there was something about the song that many at the time didn’t know about. There was some history involved that made the song what it was.

There was something about the song that many of the younger generation had no idea about. There was more to the song than people knew.

The hook (The chorus) actually wasn’t original. The sample used for the beat wasn’t original. They came from somewhere else. They were borrowed from something else.

The sample used, came from a song made by Whodini called, “Friends” which was released in 1984.

The lyrics to the hook that Lauryn Hill sang came from a song entitled, “If I ruled the world” by Kurtis Blow in 1985. So even the title of the song released by Nas wasn’t original.

Lauryn Hill even added to the hook, “Walk Right Up To The Sun” which was taken from The Delfonics who released their song in 1972.

Nas and Lauryn Hill took three things from three different songs and made one song. A classic in Hip Hop. The hook (the chorus) from another song matched the sample.

This song had different elements in it from different people, different times and yet it added to a hit in Hip Hop.

But there was a history of works that contributed to the song that many had no clue about.

Nas and Lauryn Hill would have not come out with this track if not for The Delfonics, Kurtis Blow and Whodini.

This song was the result of something prior. Something that many didn’t even have a clue of.

Like this song and many others in hip hop, there can be some history to the sample. Some history to the vocals (content), that if not explained it would have left the listener to believe that the song was an original. That it had just been made

The listener of this song, without the background and history, would have thought that it was original and new.

But this song borrowed its sample, chorus and title from other songs in the past.

Something that if not done, the song would have never been what it was.

Marriage has such a background and history and that is why it is fitting to call marriage a parable. It is referring or meaning something else.

The track had history that contributed to its sound. That made it what it was.

Paul understood this. We know from verse 32 that he is pointing back to what he had just wrote in verse 31.

The song echoed three other songs from the past. But it was made into one song and many had no clue about the past that if not done, this song would have never come to be.

Ephesians 5:31 ESV

31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

Paul points back to . Where we see the first to be joined together. Adam and Eve.

Paul points to it and says that this mystery refers to Christ and the church.

The words “that it refers” is not in the original.

But the term “saying” in verse 32 is the same as the word “meaning.”

It can read, “This mystery is profound, and I am meaning Christ and the church.”

“This mystery is profound, and I am meaning Christ and the church.”

Paul is teaching marriage as meaning, illustrating or intending to refer to Christ and the church.

Marriage is a parable because it is a temporary picture of something eternal.

Marriage is meant to illustrate Christ and the church.

Marriage is a parable because it is a temporary picture of something eternal.

It has borrowed meaning from an eternal, more excellent source.

Namely, that Jesus Christ would come for His bride, the Church.

So the inevitable question comes.

How have we done in our marriages to display this eternal picture of Christ and the church?

For some here I can understand if you feel a sense of embarrassment when thinking of this question.

Some of us can hear the song our marriages have sung and we can feel a great sense of despair and frustration.

Maybe even a sense of hypocrisy.

But at that point the better question for us is this.

What has God done in Christ Jesus for our marriages to display the eternal picture of His love for the church?

The parable of marriage is not meant to dump discouragement on you when you know, hear and see your faults and sins in marriage.

This parable is meant to remind you of where your help comes from. The lesson is to remember what marriage is for from the beginning. Even before creation. Marriage was alway intended to be a parable, an illustration of Christ and the church.

Which means that we have hope no matter how devastated our marriages are. We will struggle with the temporary effects of a fallen world.

But we have an amazing future with Christ. We have an amazing future in Christ. We have an amazing future because of Christ!

So the ultimate question is this.

in Christ and for Christ and His glory.

Marriage is meant to display a greater truth and there is hope because this momentary expression shadows a Savior who bled and died for His church!

Marriage has a borrowed meaning which points to something that is not temporary and we are to hope in Christ in the meantime.

This helps us to see marriage as an act of displaying something far greater than itself.

This should produce in us hope no matter how hard our marriages are. We can trust in what God has done in Christ.

Our marriages are only temporary which Jesus tells us in Holy Scripture.

When the Sadduccees asked Christ about the Resurrection they asked,

ESV

The same day Sadducees came to him, who say that there is no resurrection, and they asked him a question, saying, “Teacher, Moses said, ‘If a man dies having no children, his brother must marry the widow and raise up offspring for his brother.’ Now there were seven brothers among us. The first married and died, and having no offspring left his wife to his brother. So too the second and third, down to the seventh. After them all, the woman died. In the resurrection, therefore, of the seven, whose wife will she be? For they all had her.” But Jesus answered them, “You are wrong, because you know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.

When Paul instructs in our passage today, it is helpful to note that he is dealing with a temporary expression of something greater. Something that will not be, when we enter His literal presence in heaven.

One of the things I’ve shared before is that two things happen.

First, married couples will no longer be married.

Second, single people will no longer be single.

Our condition here will change! This marriage or this single life, is temporal! This life is but a vapor! Which includes the faults, sins and weaknesses in it.

So what Paul does in giving the commands to the husband and wife, is appeal to the greater reality of marriage and he addresses the husband and wife on how to love and submit to one another.

He shows us how marriage is displayed here in the temporal. In the meantime.

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

Remember that Divine indicatives (statements about what God has done, is doing, or will do) logically precede and ground Divine imperatives (statements about what we are to do in response).

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord (Imperative) a statement about what we are to do in response.

The husband is the head of the wife (indicative) a statement about what God has done, is doing, or will do.

How did the husband become the head of the wife?

God made the husband the head of the wife. So the motivation for a wife to submit to the husband is to do it as to the Lord who made him the head.

The implication here is that your love and submission to your husband does not depend on your husband. This is a command because God made your husband the head.

God made your husband the head.

So when you find it difficult to love your husband, you must look beyond your husband for the ability to do what God commands.

That is why Paul says to do it, “even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.”

even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.

Marriage is meant to display the church being loving and submissive to Christ. But the church would have never come to love and submit to Christ if not for the love of God for the church!

1 John 4:7–12 ESV

7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. 10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.

1 John 4:19 ESV

19 We love because he first loved us.

Has it been difficult to love your husband?

Ask yourself, where does love come from?

Answer: Love came before the foundations of the world!

Ephesians 1:3–6 ESV

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.

This is meant for us to believe in and to remember. Especially when your husband fails you. And he will!

But in the meantime, you are to reflect and refer to God’s great love towards us and the church’s love for its Savior!

You are to reflect and refer to God’s great love given to us and the church’s love for its Savior!

This comes best, not from doing, but from believing and remembering in what God has done in Christ.

Husbands, love your wives. (Imperative) a statement about what we are to do in response.

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

A list of indicatives. A statement about what God has done, is doing, or will do.

as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles, 2016),

English Standard Version Chapter 5

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

English Standard Version Chapter 5

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

He sanctified her.

26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

He cleansed her by the washing of water with the word

He presented the church to himself in splendor.

He nourishes and cherishes the church.

, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

These are things Christ has done for the church! But as we all know we have failed at doing this at some point in our marriages.

But as we all know we have failed at doing this at some point in our marriages.

In this fallen and temporary journey we will fail.

We husbands have had times of not showing love to our wives.

We have failed at seeing our wives as holy. Given by God as a blessing.

A refusal and neglect to love our wives will display a contradiction in the gospel message of Christ’s love for the church.

It is essentially saying that God is not love when we refuse to love our wives as Christ loved the church.

Marriage is meant to display Christ and His love for the church but we have sinned and fallen short of that display in our marriages.

So what can we do?

First we should believe that God is love and that He had sent His Son Jesus because He loved us. Second we must remember that God is love and that He had sent His Son Jesus so that He would lay down His life for His people! His church!

His church is:

a people with sin.

a people with contradictions.

a people who waver in their passions.

a people who have had idols and traded the truth of God for lies.

a people who were not His people.

But thanks be to God, because he has made us His people in Christ Jesus! That even while we were yet sinners, He died for us.

Things may be difficult but in the meantime, believe and remember what God has done in Christ for you husband.

How can we hold back love from our wives when knowing that God loved us?

Do you know that God went as far as using a prophet to display His great love for His people! To show His love for His people.

God uses the prophet’s marriage as an expression of His faithfulness and love for His people who have given themselves to other gods.

ESV

When the Lord first spoke through Hosea, the Lord said to Hosea, “Go, take to yourself a wife of whoredom and have children of whoredom, for the land commits great whoredom by forsaking the Lord.”

Israel, which were God’s chosen people, had forsaken God.

God uses the prophet’s marriage to illustrate His love for His people. They had children and God responds by doing something that speaks clearly of His love. He told the prophet to name his children after God’s judgement but God even then reveals His love.

Gomar actually had left with another man but the prophet was instructed in chapter 3:1.

Hosea 3:1 ESV

And the Lord said to me, “Go again, love a woman who is loved by another man and is an adulteress, even as the Lord loves the children of Israel, though they turn to other gods and love cakes of raisins.”

Hosea 3:1 ESV

And the Lord said to me, “Go again, love a woman who is loved by another man and is an adulteress, even as the Lord loves the children of Israel, though they turn to other gods and love cakes of raisins.”

The prophet redeemed Gomar. Bought her back to love her again.

Hosea 3:1

God’s love is

Then God reveals mercy and grace towards their children. As an illustration again of His love for His people.

Hosea 2:21–23 ESV

“And in that day I will answer, declares the Lord, I will answer the heavens, and they shall answer the earth, and the earth shall answer the grain, the wine, and the oil, and they shall answer Jezreel, and I will sow her for myself in the land. And I will have mercy on No Mercy, and I will say to Not My People, ‘You are my people’; and he shall say, ‘You are my God.’ ”

“And in that day I will answer, declares the Lord, I will answer the heavens, and they shall answer the earth, and the earth shall answer the grain, the wine, and the oil, and they shall answer Jezreel, and I will sow her for myself in the land. And I will have mercy on No Mercy, and I will say to Not My People, ‘You are my people’; and he shall say, ‘You are my God.’

Hosea 2:21-23

Paul quotes this when referring to the Gentiles in .

Remember? The Gentiles in .

Answer: Because God in Christ Jesus loved you. He died for you while you were yet in harlotry. Meaning a sinner lost and depraved.Paul quotes this when referring to the Gentiles in .

Ephesians 4:17–19 ESV

Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds. They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity.

Paul describes how the Gentiles are also included in salvation as part of God’s plan from the beginning! He reveals God’s love, not just for the Jew but also for the Gentile. For the outsider.

ESV

As indeed he says in Hosea, “Those who were not my people I will call ‘my people,’ and her who was not beloved I will call ‘beloved.’ ” “And in the very place where it was said to them, ‘You are not my people,’ there they will be called ‘sons of the living God.”

The husband has much to be concerned with when disobeying the command to love his wife.

Notice Paul’s quote of the passage. He rightly translates it according to the mystery revealed in what God has done in Christ.

This mystery is clear to us when reading Paul’s address to Gentile believers in .

Ephesians 3:1–13 ESV

For this reason I, Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus on behalf of you Gentiles— assuming that you have heard of the stewardship of God’s grace that was given to me for you, how the mystery was made known to me by revelation, as I have written briefly. When you read this, you can perceive my insight into the mystery of Christ, which was not made known to the sons of men in other generations as it has now been revealed to his holy apostles and prophets by the Spirit. This mystery is that the Gentiles are fellow heirs, members of the same body, and partakers of the promise in Christ Jesus through the gospel. Of this gospel I was made a minister according to the gift of God’s grace, which was given me by the working of his power. To me, though I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to bring to light for everyone what is the plan of the mystery hidden for ages in God, who created all things, so that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places. This was according to the eternal purpose that he has realized in Christ Jesus our Lord, in whom we have boldness and access with confidence through our faith in him. So I ask you not to lose heart over what I am suffering for you, which is your glory.

The mystery is that God would send His Son for a bride and the bride is the church. Which included the Gentiles. The outsiders!

Which unfolds the eternal story of Christ and the church.

Why did Paul call it a mystery? The union of a man and a woman a mystery?

It is because its meaning was hidden. The meaning being that marriage is but an expression of a greater truth.

John Piper (This Momentary Marriage).

“Mystery in the New Testament does not mean something too complex or deep or obscure or distant for humans to understand. It refers to a hidden purpose of God that is now revealed for our understanding and enjoyment. Paul explains what the mystery is in verse 32. The marriage union is a mystery, he says, because its deepest meaning has been concealed by God during the Old Testament history but is now being openly revealed by the apostle, namely, that marriage is an image of Christ and the church.”

It was hidden.

Example: After speaking parables we see that the gospel writer gives us insight as to why Jesus spoke in parables.

Matthew 13:34–35 ESV

All these things Jesus said to the crowds in parables; indeed, he said nothing to them without a parable. This was to fulfill what was spoken by the prophet: “I will open my mouth in parables; I will utter what has been hidden since the foundation of the world.”

God intentionally hid the meaning of marriage for a reason.

I believe that reason to be in Ephesians 1:7-10.

The incarnation is our only way of understanding clearly the mystery of Christ and the church.

Ephesians 1:7–10 ESV

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.

The incarnation is our only way of understanding clearly the mystery of Christ and the church. It is the reason why God hid it from the beginning. Because it would be fully revealed in Christ in His appearing!

ESV

28 You yourselves bear me witness, that I said, ‘I am not the Christ, but I have been sent before him.’ 29 The one who has the bride is the bridegroom. The friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom’s voice. Therefore this joy of mine is now complete. 30 He must increase, but I must decrease.”

ESV

18 Now John’s disciples and the Pharisees were fasting. And people came and said to him, “Why do John’s disciples and the disciples of the Pharisees fast, but your disciples do not fast?” 19 And Jesus said to them, “Can the wedding guests fast while the bridegroom is with them? As long as they have the bridegroom with them, they cannot fast. 20 The days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast in that day.

ESV

1 I wish you would bear with me in a little foolishness. Do bear with me! 2 For I feel a divine jealousy for you, since I betrothed you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ.

The marital language used of God towards His people in the Old Testament is used here! Another example and proof that Jesus is God!

ESV

“Behold, the days are coming, declares the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah, not like the covenant that I made with their fathers on the day when I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt, my covenant that they broke, though I was their husband, declares the Lord. For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, declares the Lord: I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts. And I will be their God, and they shall be my people.

This is the mystery hidden! That God would come for His bride, the church! His people!

He would be the second Adam. The last Adam.

1 Corinthians 15:42–49 ESV

So is it with the resurrection of the dead. What is sown is perishable; what is raised is imperishable. It is sown in dishonor; it is raised in glory. It is sown in weakness; it is raised in power. It is sown a natural body; it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body. Thus it is written, “The first man Adam became a living being”; the last Adam became a life-giving spirit. But it is not the spiritual that is first but the natural, and then the spiritual. The first man was from the earth, a man of dust; the second man is from heaven. As was the man of dust, so also are those who are of the dust, and as is the man of heaven, so also are those who are of heaven. Just as we have borne the image of the man of dust, we shall also bear the image of the man of heaven.

The second Adam came for His Eve, the church. And He did perfectly what the first Adam could never do.

Jesus is the second Adam. Which has a following question. Who is the second Eve? It’s the church.

He would love perfectly.

Jesus loved the church.

Jesus gave himself up for the church.

Jesus sanctified the church.

Jesus cleansed the church.

Jesus presented the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing.

Jesus made the church holy and without blemish.

English Standard Version Chapter 5

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

Why? Because God is love. God had to express His love and He could only do it one way. It was by sending His only Son to get His bride the church.

Only God in Christ could make the church perfect and complete.

That is why you cannot come to God by your works.

The work was complete in the finished w

This is how God is speaking to us today, loud and clear. It is through the incarnation.

Hebrews 1:1–2 ESV

Long ago, at many times and in many ways, God spoke to our fathers by the prophets, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed the heir of all things, through whom also he created the world.

When we read the gospel accounts we are seeing God the Father sending His Son to get His bride.

In the meantime He has gone away but will return for her. Lord come quickly.

What’s also mysterious is how a holy and righteous God who deserves absolute love and perfection, could love a wretch like us.

Even more mysterious is how a holy and righteous God who deserves absolute love and perfection, could love a wretch like me.

How is this even possible! How can He love me?

How can He love me you may be asking?

He loves us because He does and He did so before the foundation of the world.

That is what Paul is referring to! That those who were dead and lost in their sins would come to God alive and found, forgiven of their sin because of what Jesus had done for the church! Namely, laying down His life!

Believing in this and remembering this, is where obedience comes from!

Our obedience should be in response to the great love given to us from what God has done in Christ Jesus!

This is where submitting to one another comes from!

The greatest work done by God is the sending of His only Son so that He can present for Himself a church! Spotless and blameless.

From being stunned by the love of God given in Christ Jesus!

The incarnation is the fullest, truest and greatest expression of God’s love towards us!

In these last days He speaks clearly to us through His word.

Love your wives and love your husbands. But do it as a response of what God has done in Christ!

And to see this clearly, look to His word!

( Close in prayer ) Final

Marriage. What God has done in Christ.

Sermon Text:

Introduction

1: The motive in writing the commands for husbands and wives.

1: The motive in writing the commands for husbands and wives.

1: The motive in writing the commands for husbands and wives.

2: The arrangement in Ephesians.

2: The arrangement in Ephesians.

Three things that can help us with Paul’s use of mystery when speaking of marriage.

1: Marriage is a parable.

Marriage is a story or an expression that illustrates a greater truth. The mystery hidden.

2: Marriage is temporal.

Marriage will last for only a limited period of time. It isn’t permanent. The mystery displayed.

3: Marriage is eternal.

There is a marriage that will last forever and will not change. It is permanent. The mystery revealed.

1: Marriage is a parable.

Marriage is a story, an expression that illustrates a greater truth.

2: Marriage is temporal.

Marriage will last for only a limited period of time. It isn’t permanent.

- Earthly marriage is not permanent.

In the temporary/in the meantime, marriage must be a lifelong display of Christ and the church.

1: Marriage is meant to display the church being submissive to Christ (v. 22 - 23) Wife.

2: Marriage is meant to display Christ and His love for the church (25a, 28 - 31) Husband.

3: Marriage is meant to display God’s great love for us and our great need of Him.

There is a great example God has given us in the prophet Hosea.

3: Marriage is eternal.

There is a marriage that will last forever and will not change. It is permanent.

In the incarnation John began to see this immediately.

In the incarnation Jesus would call Himself the Bridegroom.

In the incarnation Paul sees Christ as the Husband and the church a pure virgin.