The Privilege of Every Husband

the husband and his witty wife

the husband and his witty wife

“The husband told his wife, that he had one ill quality, he was given to be angry without cause; she wittily replied, that she would keep him from that fault, for she would give him cause enough. It is the folly of some that they will be offended without cause, to whom the world promises that they shall have causes enough. ‘In the world ye shall have tribulation.’ ”

Spurgeon, C. H. (1905). Lectures to my Students: The Art of Illustration; Addresses Delivered to the students of the Pastors’ College, Metropolitan Tabernacle (Vol. 3, p. 22). London: Passmore & Alabaster.

Often responsibilities within marriage are viewed as tremendously burdensome; but perhaps we have a wrong view of marriage.

It will be the purpose of this lesson to establish what the is the Christian husbands responsibility within the marriage, but more, it will be the purpose to show that it is the privilege of the husband to fulfill this responsibility.

The command to the husband could not be more clear (v. 25)

The structure of the passage is quite exquisite. It is so beautiful and complete that some commentators believe Paul draws upon an old hymn or an early Christian confession.

The Christ-like simile could not be more weighty (v. 25)

This is woven throughout the passage. Notice also, 5 key verbs that Paul uses: loved (v. 25), gave (v. 25), sanctify (v. 26), cleanse(v. 26), present (v. 27)

illustration on clarity and weight: the show Zumbo’s Just Desserts; Zumbo created a small pastry with 7 or 8 layers....use of magnifying glass for clarity; complexity placed pressure upon the people making it.

The covenant foundation of marriage must be understood (v. 30 - 31)

It is important that leaving, cleaving, and weaving is based upon an established covenant. Marriage is not founded upon “love” but upon covenant-keeping.

The church context needs to be considered in your reading and application (v. 32)

Two thoughts here: earthly marriage is the shadow of the reality.

Secondly, Paul is writing to individuals within the context of the Christian church.

Proposition: Again, what is most glaring is that the husband is commanded to love their wives. There mustn’t be any mistake in what this means.

What some think: It does not mean a romanticized, western idea of love.

One of the most widely held beliefs in our culture today is that romantic love is all important in order to have a full life but that it almost never lasts. A second, related belief is that marriage should be based on romantic love. Taken together, these convictions lead to the conclusion that marriage and romance are essentially incompatible, that it is cruel to commit people to lifelong connection after the inevitable fading of romantic joy.

Keller, Timothy. The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God (p. 70). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Not only is the husband commanded to love, but the continual use of the simile “as Christ” presents a tremendous privilege for the husband. It is the privilege of the husband to emulate Christ in the display of love to his wife.

What some think: The loving of our spouses is a curse, because it is costly.

Men ought to love their wives sacrificially (v. 25) (consider the unconditional nature)

Application thought: Men, your wives should not have to earn this kind of love.

Men ought to love their wives purposefully (v. 26 - 27)

past, present, future consideration

Application: Men, your finish line is when one (or both) of you stands before Christ.

Men ought to love their wives personally (v. 28 - 29)

"nourish" - nourish, bring up, rear,

cherisheth "nourish" - nourish, bring up, rear, "cherish" - thalpo (θάλπω, 2282) primarily means “to heat, to soften by heat”; then, “to keep warm,” as of birds covering their young with their feathers, , Sept.; metaphorically, “to cherish with tender love, to foster with tender care,” in of Christ and the church; in of the care of the saints at Thessalonica by the apostle and his associates, as of a nurse for her children.¶ [Vine, W. E., Unger, M. F., & White, W., Jr. (1996). Vine’s Complete Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words (Vol. 2, p. 98). Nashville, TN: T. Nelson.]

"cherish" - thalpo (θάλπω, 2282) primarily means “to heat, to soften by heat”; then, “to keep warm,” as of birds covering their young with their feathers, , Sept.; metaphorically, “to cherish with tender love, to foster with tender care,” in of Christ and the church; in of the care of the saints at Thessalonica by the apostle and his associates, as of a nurse for her children.¶ [Vine, W. E., Unger, M. F., & White, W., Jr. (1996). Vine’s Complete Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words (Vol. 2, p. 98). Nashville, TN: T. Nelson.]

Illustration: Over Christmas break, we set forth a challenge to make Cinnabon cinnamon rolls…a lot of effort, but one part of the recipe called to let the dough set for it to rise. Good thing I had put yeast in it, otherwise, there would have no rising.

Application: Men, neglect is the opposite of nourish and cherish. This leads to significant insecurity.

Application: Men, neglect is the opposite of nourish and cherish. This leads to significant insecurity.

Conclusion:

We thus conclude that it is the privilege of men to resemble Christ in their marriage by sacrificial, purposeful, and personal love.

Questions:

Some of you are forcing your wives to earn your love.

Others are existing in marriage and not leading intentionally.

Yet others, are taking, taking, taking and not nourishing.

Illustration:

For Easter, family would buy us chocolate. I always loved chocolate. I must admit the tremendous excitement and disappointment that took place though. There were some chocolates that were only shells. They were hollow. They had the glamor that produced excitement but they lacked substance.

What of your marriage or your relationships?