Anger in Proverbs
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Introduction
We will see the words like hot-head and cool-headed today. Does this just refer to personality types? Are there some people that just naturally are calm in situations and others are always excited and outspoken? Can the quick -responding one and the slow-responding one both have a wrong agendas? The calm and patient in heart are ruled by a great leader not by a calm personality.
Another note as we consider the topic of anger:
The problem with anger is that those who don’t have the problem take it to heart; those who are angry are confident in their right-ness and over time can become massively, utterly, completely deluded, blind and (this is no exaggeration) can feel quite good about themselves after bludgeoning (Beating with a big stick) someone close them, as if they have set the world aright- Ed Welch
A quick-tempered man acts foolishly,
And a man of wicked intentions is hated.
There is a contrast going on between one who responds quickly and the one who schemes. Both are negative. The result is foolishness and hatred by others.
His perspective is clouded
He who has knowledge spares his words,
And a man of understanding is of a calm spirit.
The source of a calm spirit and few words is equated with knowledge and discernment
The calmness in spirit has the affect of few words.
Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace;
When he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive.
The Book of Proverbs, Chapters 15–31 d. The Fool, Injustice, and the Reserved Speech of the Wise (17:21–28)
Abraham Lincoln’s witticim: “It is better to keep your mouth shut and let them think you a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”
The fool is usually noted for his foolish talk. If he happens to hold his tongue once and is considered wise, how much more the one who deliberately doesn’t react in an untimely matter and deliberately plans words of rebuke and exhortation that aim to restore people.
He who is slow to wrath has great understanding,
But he who is impulsive exalts folly.
Slow to anger - translated long of face. This shows the facial expression of one who is patient.
Outside of the uses of this expression in Proverbs, this expression is always used to describe God. God responds this way in spite of all the wrongs done toward Him. It causes Him to show mercy toward those who provoke Him.
The patient person is not quick to react when he is wrong. He is not seeking to avenge himself. He trusts the righteous character of His God. He is committed to something much greater than his agenda.
There is a different agenda going on with the one who is hasty in his temper. He is promoting his own agenda- kind of but not really. Opposition to God is diabolic and never succeeds. A this point I see, that the quick tempered man’s agenda lies paramount in his heart. If someone crosses that, he is not eager to show any kind of mercy. He can’t extend mercy to the other person, for a fool want his way now.
The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger,
And his glory is to overlook a transgression.
Discretion- the ability to understand a situation and make a beneficial decision.
To forgive sin is akin to wearing some attractive- an adornment that makes one beutiful.
Application:
So if a person ridicules or accuses you of something, what is the easiest quickest thing to do?
Assume their motive as evil
Criticize back
Not listen to their criticism at all
What may an understanding one consider that leads him to respond slowly
What is this person facing right now?
What has really wounded this person?
He is ultimately considerate of what God is doing in this person
What may His corresponding actions look like
This may be an instance to forbear
He may seek clarification
He may just weep and prayer
A wrathful man stirs up strife,
But he who is slow to anger allays contention.
Proverbs 15:18
We have seen the heart of the quick-tempered, wrathful man. Something is already boiling in Him.
Hence what comes out of Him stirs up strife.
Accusations: “You never”
Contradiction: “Not its not”
Cutting questions: “Since when do you know everything.”
The one who has understanding and is trusting God is bringing peace to situations.
(The notes Below taken from CCEF- How to Disarm an angry person by Ed Welch)
Don’t minimize the destruction of anger. You are getting shot at! Of course it hurts.
The way to pacify anger is through humility and weakness (like our Savior). Fear and anger do not pacify anger.
“Think about it. The angry person is screaming about how you are such an idiotic jerk, and if you aren’t as concerned with pleasing people or bolstering your own reputation, you can respond with something other than anger or fear. If the angry person’s pleasure or your own reputation is critical to you, you will be controlled by the angry person. So kill these before the other person shoots. The result is that there is nothing left to shoot, and you are free to speak from a place of weakness and say something like:
“If it is important for us to talk about my sins, we could do that. Let me know when you are able to talk.”
“What’s really wrong?” “What do you really want?”
Divest yourself of all the things you desire and cherish for yourself. Do you want love? Toss it and keep only the necessities, such as the desire to love. Do you need respect and understanding? It will only be an encumbrance. Get rid of it.
Don’t befriend angry people
or associate with hot-tempered people,
or you will learn to be like them
and endanger your soul.
The crown of the wise is their wealth,
but the folly of fools brings folly.
A truthful witness saves lives,
but one who breathes out lies is deceitful.
Why would someone hang out with an angry person in the first place?
(CCEF- Ed Welch)
Get help. Angry people are insecure and defensive. They are weak, not strong. So they might try to bully you into silence as a way to protect themselves. But love wants to heal relationships that are being strained or destroyed by anger, and to this end, you will probably want help from a person who is wise.
Close with hope for the hot-tempered in Christ
Ed Welch Questions
Do you stretch and enlarge the category of anger so it includes you? I know a man who doesn’t think he is angry even though every hour or so he threatens to rip off someone’s head. His narrow definition of anger? An angry person actually rips off someone’s head. Since he only wants to rip off someone’s head, he isn’t angry.
Have you enlarged the spectrum of your anger by filling in some of the details from the Sermon on the Mount? () For example, at one extreme is murder, at the other is our internal muttering, “what a jerk.” What’s in between? Of course, everything on this spectrum is murderous.
In the last six months have you confessed your sin of anger, to both God and the injured person?
In the last six months have you asked those closest to you, “When have you seen me angry in the last few weeks?” When will you ask them?
Is the real cause of your frustration/anger usually something or someone other than you?
Do you understand the real cause is not “THEM” and is really “I WANT and I’m not getting what I want”? ()
Do you know that Jesus was never angry because of something done to him? Do you care?
Are you ever wrong? Angry people, against all the odds, are nearly always right. “Do you have a right to be angry?” This is God’s patient question to Jonah.