Third draft on Marriage sermon

Text:

Ephesians 5:22–33 ESV

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Introduction

Nas in 1996 came out with the album “It Is Written.”

In it he had a song entitled, “If I ruled the world.” It featured Lauryn Hill, who at the time was iconic and till this day is one of, if not the best female MC of all time.

The single was his’ first Top 20 R&B hit, and was also nominated for a 1997 Grammy Award for Best Rap Solo Performance.

The single reached number 53 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart, number 17 on the Billboard Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Singles & Tracks chart, and number 15 on the Billboard Hot Rap Tracks chart.

I remember when the song came out. It had one of the best MC’s of all time and Lauryn Hill.

It was one of the best combinations ever in a single track. A classic in Hip Hop for sure.

But there was something about the song that many at the time didn’t know about. There was some history involved that made the song what it was.

There was something about the song that many of the younger generation had no idea about. There was more to the song than people knew.

The hook (The chorus) actually wasn’t original. The sample used for the beat wasn’t original. They came from somewhere else. They were borrowed from something else.

The sample used, came from a song made by Whodini called, “Friends” which was released in 1984.

The lyrics to the hook that Lauryn Hill sang came from a song entitled, “If I ruled the world” by Kurtis Blow in 1985. So even the title of the song released by Nas wasn’t original.

Lauryn Hill even added to the hook, “Walk Right Up To The Sun” which was taken from The Delfonics who released their song in 1972.

Nas and Lauryn Hill took three things from three different songs and made one song. A classic in Hip Hop. The hook (the chorus) from another song matched the sample.

This song had different elements in it from different people, different times and yet it added to a hit in Hip Hop.

But there was a history of works that contributed to the song that many had no clue about.

Nas and Lauryn Hill would have not come out with this track if not for The Delfonics, Kurtis Blow and Whodini.

This song was the result of something prior. Something that many didn’t even have a clue of.

Something that if not done, the song would have never been what it was.

The track had history that contributed to its sound. That made it what it was.

The song echoed three other songs from the past. But it was made into one song and many had no clue about the past that if not done, this song would have never come to be.

_____________________________________________________

This song is an example of things that were combined from the past that gave the song its sound and meaning.

Marriage is a parable. An expression that illustrates a greater truth than itself.

Marriage has a history that precedes even creation itself.

There was something before marriage that defines it and it was hidden until Jesus appeared.

There are three things that I believe we should cover in our text today that can help us understand why Paul would refer the union of a man and woman as a mystery.

This meaning

1: Marriage is a parable.

Marriage is a story or an expression that illustrates a greater truth.

2: Marriage is temporal.

Marriage will last for only a limited period of time. It isn’t permanent.

3: Marriage is eternal.

There is a marriage that will last forever and will not change. It is permanent.

1: Marriage is a parable.

- What is a parable?

A parable is a story or an expression that illustrates a greater truth.

Jesus used stories to illustrate truths and lessons.

Example of a parable used by Jesus.

Matthew 13:1–9 ESV

That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat beside the sea. And great crowds gathered about him, so that he got into a boat and sat down. And the whole crowd stood on the beach. And he told them many things in parables, saying: “A sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seeds fell along the path, and the birds came and devoured them. Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they did not have much soil, and immediately they sprang up, since they had no depth of soil, but when the sun rose they were scorched. And since they had no root, they withered away. Other seeds fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them. Other seeds fell on good soil and produced grain, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. He who has ears, let him hear.”

The Parable of the sower in

Verses 1 -9 Jesus tells the story.

Then Jesus explains the story in

Matthew 13:34–35 ESV

All these things Jesus said to the crowds in parables; indeed, he said nothing to them without a parable. This was to fulfill what was spoken by the prophet: “I will open my mouth in parables; I will utter what has been hidden since the foundation of the world.”

Mark 4:30–34 ESV

And he said, “With what can we compare the kingdom of God, or what parable shall we use for it? It is like a grain of mustard seed, which, when sown on the ground, is the smallest of all the seeds on earth, yet when it is sown it grows up and becomes larger than all the garden plants and puts out large branches, so that the birds of the air can make nests in its shade.” With many such parables he spoke the word to them, as they were able to hear it. He did not speak to them without a parable, but privately to his own disciples he explained everything.

In the synoptic gospels Jesus used about 39 parables. Stories that were used to give insight and clarity to issues pertaining mostly to the condition of people’s souls.

A parable like the parable of the sower, is given

(ESV) — 34 All these things Jesus said to the crowds in parables; indeed, he said nothing to them without a parable. 35 This was to fulfill what was spoken by the prophet: “I will open my mouth in parables; I will utter what has been hidden since the foundation of the world.”

But there were times that Jesus withheld that truth.

He had actually spoke in parables so that the truth would be hidden.

After giving the parable of the sower in Mark 4:10-12

Mark 4:10–12 ESV

And when he was alone, those around him with the twelve asked him about the parables. And he said to them, “To you has been given the secret of the kingdom of God, but for those outside everything is in parables, so that “ ‘they may indeed see but not perceive, and may indeed hear but not understand, lest they should turn and be forgiven.’ ”

He spoke in parables so that the truth would be hidden and for the purpose of explaining its meaning to those of his choosing.

Marriage. The mysterious parable of the eternal (Main Draft)

Marriage. The mysterious parable of the eternal (Main Draft)

Juan Carlos Morales / General

Text: Ephesians 5:22-33

Ephesians 5:22–33 ESV

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Introduction

Nas in 1996 came out with the album “It Is Written.”

In it he had a song entitled, “If I ruled the world.” It featured Lauryn Hill, who at the time was iconic and till this day is one of, if not the best female MC of all time.

The single was his’ first Top 20 R&B hit, and was also nominated for a 1997 Grammy Award for Best Rap Solo Performance.

The single reached number 53 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart, number 17 on the Billboard Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Singles & Tracks chart, and number 15 on the Billboard Hot Rap Tracks chart.

I remember when the song came out. It had one of the best MC’s of all time and Lauryn Hill.

It was one of the best combinations ever in a single track. A classic in Hip Hop for sure.

But there was something about the song that many at the time didn’t know about. There was some history involved that made the song what it was.

There was something about the song that many of the younger generation had no idea about. There was more to the song than people knew.

The hook (The chorus) actually wasn’t original. The sample used for the beat wasn’t original. They came from somewhere else. They were borrowed from something else.

The sample used, came from a song made by Whodini called, “Friends” which was released in 1984.

The lyrics to the hook that Lauryn Hill sang came from a song entitled, “If I ruled the world” by Kurtis Blow in 1985. So even the title of the song released by Nas wasn’t original.

Lauryn Hill even added to the hook, “Walk Right Up To The Sun” which was taken from The Delfonics who released their song in 1972.

Nas and Lauryn Hill took three things from three different songs and made one song. A classic in Hip Hop. The hook (the chorus) from another song matched the sample.

This song had different elements in it from different people, different times and yet it added to a hit in Hip Hop.

But there was a history of works that contributed to the song that many had no clue about.

Nas and Lauryn Hill would have not come out with this track if not for The Delfonics, Kurtis Blow and Whodini.

This song was the result of something prior. Something that many didn’t even have a clue of.

Something that if not done, the song would have never been what it was.

The track had history that contributed to its sound. That made it what it was.

The song echoed three other songs from the past. But it was made into one song and many had no clue about the past that if not done, this song would have never come to be.

_____________________________________________________

This song is an example of things that were combined from the past that gave the song its sound and meaning.

Marriage is a parable. An expression that illustrates a greater truth than itself.

Marriage has a history that precedes even creation itself.

There was something before marriage that defines it and it was hidden until Jesus appeared.

There are three things that I believe we should cover in our text today that can help us understand why Paul would refer the union of a man and woman as a mystery.

1: Marriage is a parable.

Marriage is a story or an expression that illustrates a greater truth.

2: Marriage is temporal.

Marriage will last for only a limited period of time. It isn’t permanent.

3: Marriage is eternal.

There is a marriage that will last forever and will not change. It is permanent.

1: Marriage is a parable.

- What is a parable?

A parable is a story or an expression that illustrates a greater truth.

Jesus used stories to illustrate truths and lessons.

In the synoptic gospels Jesus used about 39 parables. Stories that were used to give insight and clarity to issues pertaining mostly to the condition of people’s souls.

But there were times that Jesus withheld that truth.

He had actually spoke in parables so that the truth would be hidden.

After giving the parable of the sower in Mark 4:10-12

Mark 4:10–12 ESV

And when he was alone, those around him with the twelve asked him about the parables. And he said to them, “To you has been given the secret of the kingdom of God, but for those outside everything is in parables, so that “ ‘they may indeed see but not perceive, and may indeed hear but not understand, lest they should turn and be forgiven.’ ”

A parable is a story or an expression that illustrates a greater truth. But God in His sovereign plan has hidden the truth for a purpose and a time.

- Marriage is a parable because it refers to Christ and the church.

Marriage has a mystery in which God has kept secret. He hid the meaning of marriage. Thus Paul calling it a mystery.

So what is it that marriage is supposed to illustrate that is the greater truth?

Paul tells us already, as you already know, in Ephesians 5:32

Ephesians 5:32 ESV

This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

The words “that it refers” is not in the original.

But the term “saying” is the same as meaning. It can read,

“This mystery is profound, and I am meaning Christ and the church.”

Paul is teaching marriage as meaning or intending to refer to Christ and the church.

Marriage is meant to illustrate a greater truth.

Marriage is meant to illustrate Christ and the church.

A parable is a story or an expression that illustrates a greater truth. Marriage is what Paul points to as what reveals a greater truth. Namely, Christ and the church which is the union between a man and a woman.

This really is a humbling truth.

If marriage is meant to illustrate a greater truth, namely Christ and the church, then how have our own marriages done so far?

How have we husbands illustrated the love and submission of Christ in our marriages?

How have wives illustrated the love and submission of the church to Christ?

What song has your marriage sung so far?

Our marriages, whether we want to admit it or not, are parables. They are speaking. They are singing. But what song have our marriages sung? What lessons have they been teaching?

For some of us here, we can easily feel shame and embarrassment when thinking of this question.

But there is hope! And thankfully that hope is not found in our marriages themselves.

There is hope because our marriages are not an end to themselves!

In eternity there is a Husband and a wife. And we have hope in the truth of being the church. The bride of Christ. Bought and paid for by the Bridegroom.

Maybe your marriage has fallen short of a parable. Maybe it has looked more like a horror movie. Again, I say there is hope. Because marriage is not the end in itself.

Marriage only serves as an illustration to a greater truth. It is a parable of an eternal reality.

One that was true even before the foundation of the world.

Marriage is not an end in itself. It is temporary.

2: Marriage is temporary.

- Earthly marriage is not permanent.

When the Sadduccees asked Christ about the Resurrection they asked,

Matthew 22:23–30 ESV

The same day Sadducees came to him, who say that there is no resurrection, and they asked him a question, saying, “Teacher, Moses said, ‘If a man dies having no children, his brother must marry the widow and raise up offspring for his brother.’ Now there were seven brothers among us. The first married and died, and having no offspring left his wife to his brother. So too the second and third, down to the seventh. After them all, the woman died. In the resurrection, therefore, of the seven, whose wife will she be? For they all had her.” But Jesus answered them, “You are wrong, because you know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.

When Paul instructs in our passage today, it is helpful to note that he is dealing with the temporal.

This is important because the eternal must precede the temporal.

This is actually how the book of Ephesians is written.

It is important to note that the first half of Ephesians is full of indicatives. While the second half is full of imperatives.

To help us understand these terms Sinclair Ferguson said,

Divine indicatives (statements about what God has done, is doing, or will do) logically precede and ground Divine imperatives (statements about what we are to do in response).

- Examples of indicatives in the first half of Ephesians.

Indicatives (statements about what God has done, is doing, or will do)

Chapter 1 (Ephesians 1:3-6)

Ephesians 1:3–6 ESV

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.

Chapter 2 (Ephesians 2:4-7)

Ephesians 2:4–7 ESV

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.

Chapter 3 (Ephesians 3:7-10)

Ephesians 3:7–10 ESV

Of this gospel I was made a minister according to the gift of God’s grace, which was given me by the working of his power. To me, though I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to bring to light for everyone what is the plan of the mystery hidden for ages in God, who created all things, so that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places.

These passages show that God:

• Has blessed us in Christ Jesus.

• He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world.

• In love He predestined us for adoption to Himself.

• He has blessed us in the Beloved

• He loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses.

• He made us alive together with Christ.

• He saved us by grace.

• He raised us up with Him and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus.

• Paul was made a minister of the gospel which was given to him by the working of God’s power not his own.

There are more in these chapters but it is clear. Paul in the first half points to what God in Christ has done.

And in the second half it is about what we are to do in response to what God has done in Christ.

This is what he does when addressing the husbands and wives in our text today.

We know that scripture teaches the danger of being hearers only and not doers.

But when one starts with commands without believing in what has been done, they are no better off than a couple without faith who have a morally driven marriage without God.

It’s not about doing. It’s about responding.

The indicatives govern the imperatives.

• Submitting to one another is the result of the submission of One.

• Loving one another is the result of the love of One.

• Doing good to each other is the result of God giving us grace.

The instructions Paul gives to the husband and wife are not meant to be a list of things we should do.

They are meant to be reactions or responses to what Christ has done.

That is why if you have struggled to love your wife or love your husband, maybe its because you have forgotten God’s great love for you!

The basis of our falling short to love each other in marriage and to submit to one another, the core problem is that we have forgotten how God in Christ has loved us and gave Himself for us.

The first half of Ephesians reveal the amazing love shown to us in Christ Jesus and in His perfect work.

Our passage today is in the second half showing us what our response should be because of what Christ has done.

A: The Wife's Submission (v.22 - 23)

Verse 22 -23

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.

Notice that Paul just doesn’t say wives submit to your own husbands which is a command. An imperative.

Paul includes what God has done.

What God has done in Christ:

• He made the husband the head of the wife.

• He made us His body. His church.

• He brought to us salvation.

The core reason for your submission and love for your husband is because of what God has done to cover you, make you and save you.

• Your husband has been put there by God.

• Your condition before God changed from being separate from Christ to married to Christ!

• You were lost and dead in sin but God being rich in mercy, saved you.

Why should you respond to a husband who fails at loving you properly?

The response must always come from what Christ has done. It cannot depend on what your husband hasn’t done.

Your response comes from what God has done in Christ.

Don’t just submit. Respond to the gospel with submission and love.

It is exactly what the church does for what Christ has done.

The church responds to its Saviour with worship and adoration because of its Savior.

This is where submission and love come from.

This is so important, especially because of this momentary affliction. This life that has hardships and trials.

Love must come from what God has done in Christ. This is where love comes from.

This is where the motivation for your response is found.

It is found in what God has done in Christ Jesus.

B: The Husband's Love (v.25a, 28 - 31)

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church because we are members of his body. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

Notice that Paul just doesn’t say “Husbands, love your wives” which is a command. An imperative.

Verse 25

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

Paul includes what God has done.

What God has done in Christ:

• Christ loved the church.

• Christ giving Himself up for the church.

The core reason for submission and love for your wife is because of what God has done to cover you, make you and save you.

• Your wife has been put there by God to love and not to dominate and control.

• Your condition before God changed from being separate from Christ, to Christ as your Saviour.

• You were lost and dead in sin but God being rich in mercy, saved you.

Why should you respond to a wife who fails at loving and submitting to you?

There is a great example God has given us in the prophet Hosea.

Hosea 1:2 ESV

When the Lord first spoke through Hosea, the Lord said to Hosea, “Go, take to yourself a wife of whoredom and have children of whoredom, for the land commits great whoredom by forsaking the Lord.”

Israel, God’s chosen people, had forsaken God. They had given themselves over to other gods.

God uses the prophet’s marriage to illustrate His love for His people.

They had children and God responds by doing something that speaks clearly of His love.

He told the prophet to name his children after God’s judgement but God even then reveals His love.

Hosea 2:21–23 ESV

“And in that day I will answer, declares the Lord, I will answer the heavens, and they shall answer the earth, and the earth shall answer the grain, the wine, and the oil, and they shall answer Jezreel, and I will sow her for myself in the land. And I will have mercy on No Mercy, and I will say to Not My People, ‘You are my people’; and he shall say, ‘You are my God.’ ”

Question: Why should you love your wife? Even when you feel she isn’t deserving of being loved?

Answer: Because God in Christ Jesus loved you. He died for you while you were yet in harlotry. Meaning a sinner lost and depraved.

Paul quotes this when referring to the Gentiles in Romans 9.

Romans 9:25–26 ESV

As indeed he says in Hosea, “Those who were not my people I will call ‘my people,’ and her who was not beloved I will call ‘beloved.’ ” “And in the very place where it was said to them, ‘You are not my people,’ there they will be called ‘sons of the living God.’ ”

You refusing to love your wife is equivalent to saying that God is not love.

Love must come from what God has done in Christ Jesus.

When we truly believe in the love of God in Christ Jesus, remembering how sinful and fallen we are, a man who genuinely believes and remembers God’s great love has no choice but to respond in brokenness and humility.

He has been humbled by the gospel. This is how we become practical. It is the outworking of being humbled by the word of God.

And the greatest display of humility is found only in Christ Jesus.

This truth must govern the how and why in our marriages.

The best way to love your wife is to genuinely and truthfully believe God’s great love for you!

3: Marriage is eternal.

3: The Submission and Love of Jesus Christ (v. 25b - 27)

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her that he might sanctify her having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word so that he might present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she might be holy and without blemish.

Page . Exported from Logos Bible Software, 4:33 PM January 8, 2018.

A parable is a story or an expression that illustrates a greater truth. But God in His sovereign plan has hidden the truth for a purpose and a time.

- Marriage is a parable because it refers to Christ and the church.

Marriage has a mystery in which God has kept secret. He hid the meaning of marriage from the beginning. Thus Paul calling it a mystery.

when it comes to what it refers.

So what is it that marriage is supposed to illustrate that is the greater truth?

Paul tells us already, as you already know, in

Ephesians 5:32 ESV

This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

The words “that it refers” is not in the original.

But the term “saying” is the same as “meaning.” It can read,

“This mystery is profound, and I am meaning Christ and the church.”

Paul is teaching marriage as meaning or intending to refer to Christ and the church.

Marriage is meant to illustrate a greater truth.

Marriage is meant to illustrate Christ and the church.

A parable is a story or an expression that illustrates a greater truth. Marriage is what Paul points to as what reveals a greater truth. Namely, Christ and the church which is the union between a man and a woman.

This is a humbling truth.

If marriage is meant to illustrate a greater truth, namely Christ and the church, then how have our own marriages done so far?

How have we husbands illustrated the love and submission of Christ in our marriages?

How have wives illustrated the love and submission of the church to Christ?

What song has your marriage sung so far?

Our marriages, whether we want to admit it or not, are parables. They are speaking. They are singing. They are illustrating. But what song have our marriages sung? What lessons have they been teaching?

For some of us here, we can easily feel shame and embarrassment when thinking of this question.

But there is hope! And thankfully that hope is not found in our marriages themselves.

There is hope because our marriages are not an end to themselves!

In eternity there is a Husband and a wife. And we have hope in the truth of being the church. The bride of Christ. Bought and paid for by the Bridegroom.

Maybe your marriage has fallen short of a parable. Maybe it has looked more like a horror movie. Again, I say there is hope. Because marriage is not the end in itself.

Marriage only serves as an illustration to a greater truth. It is a parable of an eternal reality.

One that was true even before the foundation of the world.

Marriage is not an end in itself. It is temporary.

2: Marriage is temporary.

- Earthly marriage is not permanent.

When the Sadduccees asked Christ about the Resurrection they asked,

Matthew 2

Matthew 22:23–30 ESV

The same day Sadducees came to him, who say that there is no resurrection, and they asked him a question, saying, “Teacher, Moses said, ‘If a man dies having no children, his brother must marry the widow and raise up offspring for his brother.’ Now there were seven brothers among us. The first married and died, and having no offspring left his wife to his brother. So too the second and third, down to the seventh. After them all, the woman died. In the resurrection, therefore, of the seven, whose wife will she be? For they all had her.” But Jesus answered them, “You are wrong, because you know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.

When Paul instructs in our passage today, it is helpful to note that he is dealing with the temporal.

This is important because the eternal must precede the temporal.

Examples: shadows in the Old Testament.

This is actually how the book of Ephesians is written.

It is important to note that the first half of Ephesians is full of indicatives. While the second half is full of imperatives.

To help us understand these terms Sinclair Ferguson said,

Divine indicatives (statements about what God has done, is doing, or will do) logically precede and ground Divine imperatives (statements about what we are to do in response).

Divine indicatives (statements about what God has done, is doing, or will do) logically precede and ground Divine imperatives (statements about what we are to do in response).

Divine indicatives (statements about what God has done, is doing, or will do) logically precede and ground Divine imperatives (statements about what we are to do in response).

- Examples of indicatives in the first half of Ephesians.

Indicatives (statements about what God has done, is doing, or will do)

Chapter 1 ()

Ephesians 1:3–6 ESV

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.

Chapter 2 ()

Ephesians 2:4–7 ESV

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.

Chapter 3 ()

Ephesians 3:7–10 ESV

Of this gospel I was made a minister according to the gift of God’s grace, which was given me by the working of his power. To me, though I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to bring to light for everyone what is the plan of the mystery hidden for ages in God, who created all things, so that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places.

These passages show that God:

Has blessed us in Christ Jesus.

He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world.

In love He predestined us for adoption to Himself.

He has blessed us in the Beloved

He loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses.

He made us alive together with Christ.

He saved us by grace.

He raised us up with Him and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus.

Paul was made a minister of the gospel which was given to him by the working of God’s power not his own.

There are more in these chapters but it is clear. Paul in the first half points to what God in Christ has done.

And in the second half it is about what we are to do in response to what God has done in Christ.

In fact the main point to Ephesians can be said to be, “That God has reconciled and unified us in Christ Jesus.”

This is what he does when addressing the husbands and wives in our text today.

We know that scripture teaches the danger of being hearers only and not doers.

We know that scripture teaches the danger of being hearers only and not doers.

But when one starts with commands without believing in what has been done, they are no better off than a couple without faith who have a morally driven marriage without God.

It’s not about doing. It’s about responding.

The indicatives govern the imperatives.

Submitting to one another is the result of the submission of One.

What God has done in Christ

Loving one another is the result of the love of One.

Doing good to each other is the result of God being good to us.

It’s about what God has done in Christ Jesus and our reaction to this truth.

The instructions Paul gives to the husband and wife are not meant to be a list of things we should do.

They are meant to be reactions or responses to what Christ has done. Thus what Paul wrote in the first half.

That is why if we struggle to love our wives or if wives struggled to love their husbands, maybe its because we have forgotten God’s great love for us.

Maybe we have forgotten what God the Father has done in Christ Jesus.

Maybe you

Maybe we have lost the meaning to this parable called marriage. Where its very meaning comes from an eternal truth.

The basis of our falling short to love each other in marriage and to submit to one another, the core problem is that we have forgotten how God in Christ has loved us and gave Himself for us.

The first half of Ephesians reveal the amazing love shown to us in Christ Jesus and in His perfect work.

There needs to be a point of reference that

Our passage today is in the second half showing us what our response should be because of what Christ has done.

A: The Wife's love and submission (v.22 - 23)

1: The Wife's Submission (v.22 - 23)

Verse 22 -23

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.

Notice that Paul just doesn’t just say “wives submit to your own husbands” which is a command. An imperative.

Paul includes what God has done.

Question: What has God done in Christ Jesus?

He made the husband the head of the wife.

He made us His body. His church.

He brought to us salvation.

The core reason for your submission and love for your husband is because of what God has done to cover you, make you and save you.

Your husband has been put there by God.

Your condition before God changed from being separate from Christ to married to Christ!

You were lost and dead in sin but God being rich in mercy, saved you and made you alive in Christ!

Question: Why should you respond to a husband who fails at loving you properly?

Answer: The response must always come from what Christ has done. It cannot depend on what your husband hasn’t done or has done.

Your response comes from what God has done in Christ which is a perfect and complete work.

Don’t just submit. Respond to the gospel with submission and love.

It is exactly what the church does for what Christ has done.

The church responds with worship and adoration because of its Savior.

This is where submission and love come from.

This is so important, especially because of this momentary affliction. This life that has hardships and trials.

Love must come from what God has done in Christ. This is where love comes from.

This is where the motivation for your response is found.

What did God do that you must respond in submission?

Verse 23a

For the husband is the head of the wife...

Questions: Who made the husband the head of the home?

Answer: God did.

So submission to your husband is not just because he is the head. But because God made him the head.

Then Paul gives us the greater truth behind this.

Verse 23b

even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.

What does the parable of submission and love look like for the wife?

Wives, submit to your own Husbands As to the Lord, For the husband is the head of the wife.

Response????

It is found in what God has done in Christ Jesus.

Who made the husband the head of the wife?

For the husband is the head of the wife

even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior

Now as the church submits to Christ

so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

B: The Husband's love and submission (v.25a, 28 - 31)

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church because we are members of his body. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

(Note: Expound on these verses more)

Notice that Paul just doesn’t say “Husbands, love your wives” which is a command. An imperative.

Verse 25

Verse 25

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

Notice that Paul just doesn’t say wives submit to your own husbands which is a command. An imperative.

Paul includes what God has done.

Question: What has God done in Christ Jesus?

Christ loved the church.

He made us His body. His church.

Christ gave Himself up for the church.

He brought to us salvation.

The core reason for submission and love for your wife is because of what God has done to cover you, make you and save you.

Your wife has been put there by God to love and not to dominate and control over.

Your condition before God changed from being separate from Christ, to Christ as your Saviour.

You were lost and dead in sin but God being rich in mercy, saved you.

Why should you respond to a wife who fails at loving and submitting to you?

There is a great example God has given us in the prophet Hosea.

Hosea 1:2 ESV

When the Lord first spoke through Hosea, the Lord said to Hosea, “Go, take to yourself a wife of whoredom and have children of whoredom, for the land commits great whoredom by forsaking the Lord.”

Israel, God’s chosen people, had forsaken God. They had given themselves over to other gods.

God uses the prophet’s marriage to illustrate His love for His people.

They had children and God responds by doing something that speaks clearly of His love.

He told the prophet to name his children after God’s judgement but God even then reveals His love.

Hosea 2:21–23 ESV

“And in that day I will answer, declares the Lord, I will answer the heavens, and they shall answer the earth, and the earth shall answer the grain, the wine, and the oil, and they shall answer Jezreel, and I will sow her for myself in the land. And I will have mercy on No Mercy, and I will say to Not My People, ‘You are my people’; and he shall say, ‘You are my God.’ ”

Question: Why should you love your wife? Even when you feel she isn’t deserving of being loved?

Answer: Because God in Christ Jesus loved you. He died for you while you were yet in harlotry. Meaning a sinner lost and depraved.

Paul quotes this when referring to the Gentiles in .

Romans 9:25–26 ESV

As indeed he says in Hosea, “Those who were not my people I will call ‘my people,’ and her who was not beloved I will call ‘beloved.’ ” “And in the very place where it was said to them, ‘You are not my people,’ there they will be called ‘sons of the living God.’ ”

You refusing to love your wife is equivalent to saying that God is not love.

It is saying that Christ does not love His church.

ESVAs indeed he says in Hosea, “Those who were not my people I will call ‘my people,’ and her who was not beloved I will call ‘beloved.’ ” “And in the very place where it was said to them, ‘You are not my people,’ there they will be called ‘sons of the living God.’ ”

Love must come from what God has done in Christ Jesus.

When we truly believe in the love of God in Christ Jesus, remembering how sinful and fallen we are, a man who genuinely believes and remembers God’s great love has no choice but to respond in brokenness and humility.

If not then the condition of our love is based on a temporary and fallen world.

The response must always come from what Christ has done. It cannot depend on what your husband lacks in.

Your response comes from what God has done in Christ.

He has been humbled by the gospel. This is how we become practical. It is the outworking of being humbled by the word of God.

And the greatest display of humility is found only in Christ Jesus.

Don’t just submit. Respond to the gospel with submission and love.

It is exactly what the church does for what Christ has done.

The church responds to its Saviour with worship and adoration. This is where submission and love come from.

This is so important, especially because of this momentary affliction. This life that has hardships and trials.

This truth must govern the how and why in our marriages.

Love must come from what God has done in Christ. This is where love comes from.

The husband’s love for his wife comes from something more significant than himself. It comes from the eternal.

This is where the motivation for your response is found.

The best way to love your wife is to genuinely and truthfully believe God’s great love for you!

3: Marriage is eternal.

It is found in Christ.

3: The Submission and Love of Jesus Christ (v. 25b - 27)

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her that he might sanctify her having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word so that he might present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she might be holy and without blemish.