Leadership 102

Let’s begin by talking about the way that leaders are often perceived in the church.

Linda and I visited missionaries in Malawi several years ago, and I was introduced as a pastor many times. Every single time, without exception, the person’s eyes would get a little wider, and they would take my hand, and bow, and speak respectfully, treating me with honor and reverence. It was a little weird, to be honest.

Christians are generally nicer than that, of course. They’ll smile and be pleasant, but often they put up mental barriers as well. I couldn’t possibly be interested in what they are interested in, or have any understanding of life as it really is.

The most common response unbelievers have when they learn that I am a pastor is to put up mental barriers, and view me with distrust. They don’t know me, of course; they simply make assumptions about who I am and go from there.

Christians are generally nicer than that, of course. They’ll smile and be pleasant, but often they put up mental barriers as well. I couldn’t possibly be interested in what they are interested in, or have any understanding of life as it really is.

That’s never happened in the United States, not even once. But Christians still often view pastors and elders as being in a class all by themselves; exceptional Christians, exalted, super-spiritual leaders. Almost no one could ever qualify to serve in that way. They must be chosen from a mountaintop, the finger of God writing their name across the sky.

Linda and I visited missionaries in Malawi several years ago.

That’s not the biblical picture of leaders in the church. In fact, I think you’ll see that the qualifications of Elder-Pastor-Overseers is really pretty boring and straightforward.

Linda and I visited missionaries in Malawi several years ago, and I was introduced as a pastor many times. Every single time, without exception, the person’s eyes would get a little wider, and they would take my hand, and bow, and speak respectfully, giving me immediate honor and veneration.

Here’s what Paul says to Timothy about Elder-Pastor-Overseers:

1 Timothy 3:1–7 ESV

The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil.

1tim 3

Here’s what Paul says to Titus about Elder-Pastor-Overseers:

Titus 1:5–9 ESV

This is why I left you in Crete, so that you might put what remained into order, and appoint elders in every town as I directed you— if anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination. For an overseer, as God’s steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.

Titus 1:5–7 ESV

This is why I left you in Crete, so that you might put what remained into order, and appoint elders in every town as I directed you— if anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination. For an overseer, as God’s steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain,

There is a lot of overlap between the two lists, covering five categories.

He must have the ability to teach the Word of God, able to give instruction, recognizing and rebuking those who contradict sound doctrine.

He must have the ability to be hospitable to others.

He must have the ability to manage his own household well.

I don’t see any super-Christian items in this list. In fact, these are the things every Christian, male or female, should be able to do.

He must be the husband of one wife, sexually faithful, and relationally exclusive. As the original language says, he must be a one woman man.

His children, as far as can be told, must be believers, not accused of moral extremes or rebellion, and he must keep them under control with dignity.

Any super-Christian items in that list? No, I don’t think so. This is just basic adult Christian behavior.

He must not be a drunkard; the sense covers both alcohol and drugs. Let me take a moment to say that the word “drunk” in the Bible has nothing to do with blood alcohol level, but rather self-control. If you have had enough to drink that your thinking has been affected, you are biblically drunk.

He must not be a lover of money or greedy for gain.

He must not be arrogant, quarrelsome, quick-tempered, or violent.

Instead he must be gentle, self-controlled, disciplined, sober-minded.

Anything there that stands out as unreasonably holy or sanctified behavior?

Maybe another way of asking that question would be to ask whether there is something that is OK for other people, but not Elder-Pastor-Overseers. I don’t see anything so far that would be acceptable for anyone.

He must be above reproach. That means that no one can reasonably accuse him of violating the qualifications of leadership. At our church in California one man came to me with an accusation against one of the elders: “He isn’t the man in his house!” I asked him to find that qualification in the Bible, so he changed it: “He doesn’t wear the pants in his family!” I asked him to find THAT qualification in the Bible. Then I said, “Look, their marriage is their business; the Bible doesn’t say that the man has to pay the bills or fix the faucet. He might be violating your expectations, but he isn’t violating Scripture.” It turns out, to no surprise, that there was a history of personal conflict between these two men.

He must be well thought of by outsiders, that is, unbelievers. Again, this has to be a reasonable issue. “Mr. Worldly, what do you think about Mr. Christian?” He doesn’t have good reputation with me! “Really? Why not?” Every time we talk he tells me that he’s praying for me and invites me to church! That’s not a valid objection to someone being an Elder-Pastor-Overseer. But years ago another Mr. Worldly came to me and said, “I loaned a large sum of money to Mr. Christian years ago, and he has never paid me anything back on it.” That IS a valid concern.

Again, I’m not seeing any unreasonably high or exalted qualifications here.

But we come to spiritual maturity; surely that will place the office of Elder-Pastor-Overseer out of reach for almost everyone.

He is not to be a recent convert, that is, a new Christian. Paul tells us why; he might become proud because of being an Elder, and fall into the condemnation of the devil: pride.

He is to be respectable and upright, and a lover of what is good.

He is to hold firmly to the trustworthy Word of God.

He is to be holy, set apart to the Lord Jesus.

You know, even in the category of spiritual maturity, I’m just not seeing unreasonable, unreachable qualifications.

Paul wrote Timothy in the city of Ephesus,

An elder must be above reproach (; ).

An elder must be the husband of one wife (; ).

An elder must be sober-minded ().

An elder must be self-controlled (; ).

An elder must be respectable ().

An elder must be hospitable (; ).

An elder must be able to teach ().

And elder must not be a drunkard (; ).

The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil. ()

An elder must not be violent but gentle (; ).

An elder must not be quarrelsome ().

An elder must not be a lover of money (; ).

Paul wrote Titus on the island of Crete,

An elder must manage his own household well ().

An elder must not be a recent convert ().

This is why I left you in Crete, so that you might put what remained into order, and appoint elders in every town as I directed you— if anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination. For an overseer, as God’s steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it. ()

An elder must be well thought of by unbelievers ().

There is obviously some overlap in these qualifications. We see that they can be grouped into several categories.

Regarding his general qualification, an elder is to be above reproach. This doesn’t mean that he is perfect or sinless, but that he lives in such a way that rebukes or criticisms are unnecessary. Timothy is to look for a man who is above reproach in several different areas of life.

An elder children must be believers and not rebellious ().

Regarding one’s family, an elder is to be the husband of one wife. This doesn’t require that he be married, but if he is married, he is to be faithful and devoted to his wife. Regarding his children (again, he isn’t required to have children, but if he does, these things must be true), these things apply to those who are under his authority, not to adults. He is to keep them properly submissive in a dignified way; this is not simply about his dignity, but about their dignity as well. His children are to be believers, as far as can be determined, and not accused of sinful excess or rebellion.

An elder must not be arrogant ().

A word about this. Children grow up to become adults, and they make their own decisions. Elders are not measured by the actions of their adult children, but by those children who are still at home. The question here is not qualifying an elder based on the conduct of his kids, but on his faithfulness as a parent. It’s not whom they are in adulthood, but who they are in his home.

A second word about this. There is a significant difference between children raised in a godly home from the start of life, and those who are teenagers when their parents become Christians.

An elder must not be quick-tempered ().

Regarding his relationships, elders are to be gentle, not quarrelsome, arrogant, quick-tempered, or violent; they are to be respectful, and well thought of by outsiders, which refers to unbelievers. No one gets along perfectly well with everyone – Paul was accused of treason and inciting riots – but someone who genuinely dislikes people or treats them with disregard must not be made an elder.

An elder must be a lover of good ().

Regarding his personal conduct, an elder is to be sober-minded; that is, level-headed, not given to extremes. He is to be self-controlled, which means he is to be disciplined, and not controlled by alcohol or other drugs. And, he is not to be greedy for money or gain.

An elder must be upright ().

Regarding his spiritual maturity, an elder is not to be a recent convert, that is, a new Christian. Paul tells us why: he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil, that is, pride. I’ve known two men who were put into positions of elder and pastoral authority when they were new converts. Both of them wore their position like a badge of office. One of them told me that we should never mow our own lawn, that people in the church should do it for us, because I am a pastor.

Continuing with spiritual maturity, an elder is to hold firmly to the Word he has been taught; he must have a firm grasp on the Scripture, and the historical authority of Scripture. He must be upright, or righteous, living according to what God has said in His Word. He is to be holy, separating himself from the ways of the world, and committing himself to the Lord Jesus. He is to be a lover of what is good, which also means that he has no use for what is evil.

to hold firmly to the Word that he was taught; he is to have a firm grasp not only on the truth of Scripture, but the foundation that is laid in Scripture. He has to have the sort of confidence in the Bible that even when he doesn’t know the answer to a question, he knows that the Bible contains the answer. He is to be upright, or righteous, living according to what God has revealed in the Word. He is to be holy, separating himself from the sin of the world, and committing himself to the Lord Jesus. He is to be a lover of what is good, which also means that he has no use for what is evil. And an elder is not to be a new convert.

And an elder must have some skills. He has to manage his household well; that’s not a character trait, and it’s not automatic. It’s a skill that is learned and exercised. He must be hospitable, doing what he can to welcome others; again, that’s not a character trait or part of your personality, but a skill you can learn. And, of the highest importance, he has to be able to teach the Word of God. That doesn’t mean he has to preach, but he has to be able to comprehend the Scripture through careful study, and then teach someone else what the Word says and why it matters. Protecting the church against false teachers and false teachings is crucial.

An elder must be holy ().

an elder is not to be a new convert. Paul tells us why: he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil, that is, pride. I’ve known two men who were put into positions of elder and pastoral authority when they were new converts. Both of them wore their position like a badge of office. One of them told me that we should never mow our own lawn, that people in the church should do it for us, because I am a pastor.

An elder must be disciplined ().

An elder must hold to the Word of God he is taught ().

Paul writes about Deacons,

Deacons likewise must be dignified, not double-tongued, not addicted to much wine, not greedy for dishonest gain. They must hold the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience. And let them also be tested first; then let them serve as deacons if they prove themselves blameless. Their wives (literally the women) likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things. Let deacons each be the husband of one wife, managing their children and their own households well. ()

As with elders, there are some categories presented here.

Regarding the family, a Deacon must be the husband of one wife, sexually faithful and devoted to his wife. He must also manage his children and household well.

Regarding his personal conduct, a Deacon must be honest, not be double-tongued; that is, he must not be a liar or a hypocrite. He must not be addicted, or devoted, to alcohol. And he must not be greedy for dishonest gain.

Deacons must be dignified ().

Deacons must not be double-tongued ().

Regarding his spiritual maturity, a Deacon must hold to the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience. The mystery of the faith is not some hidden truth, but what God has revealed in Christ and through His apostles. The Deacon’s beliefs are to be biblically sound. He must especially understand and hold firmly to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Deacons must not be addicted to much wine ().

is interesting. Most translations take it to mean wives of deacons; that’s an interpretation. A few read women, leaving it up to the reader to determine whether women can be Deacons or not.

We want to be obedient to Scripture above all other considerations. That is, we must not contradict what the Bible clearly says. Where the Bible is not clear we must use biblical principles and reason to arrive at meaning.

There is no question that the first Deacons, seen in , were men. In fact, the apostles specifically say, “Therefore … pick out from among you seven men of good repute, full of the Spirit and of wisdom, whom we [apostles] will appoint to this duty.” ().

However, we also see Paul describe a woman named Phoebe as a diakonos, a servant, the word that we translate deacon. Paul writes in , “I do not permit a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man.” But Deacons don’t do either. Women are not permitted to be Elder-Pastor-Overseers. From the start, Deacons were to provide service and relief to the poor. Deacons were servants to the church in material ways.

; a few read women, that is, women who are deacons.

It’s not as clear as we might want it to be. If Paul is talking about the wives of deacons, and not about women who are deacons, why didn’t he also have qualifications for the wives of elders? Why interrupt the discussion of Deacon qualifications to discuss the behavior of their wives? Why not simply include men and women in his remarks? Why single women out with four qualifications, dignified being required of men, and sober-minded being required of elders.

I’ll tell you the truth, I don’t have a firm conviction about what Paul is trying to get at here, but am sure about a couple of things.

Deacons must not be greedy for dishonest gain ().

It is clear that only men are to be Elder-Pastor-Overseers in the church, as Paul indicates in , “I do not permit a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet (as regards teaching and the exercise of authority).”

Deacons must not be greedy for dishonest gain ().

If Paul is talking about the wives of deacons, and not women who are deacons, then some questions have to be

Deacons must honestly hold to the faith ().

Why does Paul insert qualifications for women in the middle of the section on Deacons, and not Elders? There are really only two possibilities. First, women were permitted to serve the church as Deacons, in practical, material ways. And second, the wives of Deacons were required to meet qualifications in order for their husbands to serve.

deliberately requires qualifications for women serving as Deacons and not Elders tells me that there was some way

First, Deacons are not leaders in the church; they are practical servants of the church. In some churches Deacons are decision-makers. In the New Testament, Deacons are the recognized helpers of the church as a whole. They don’t exercise authority over anyone, and they don’t teach anyone.

Deacons must prove themselves blameless ().

Second, since Deacons work to meet the needs of those who are struggling in material ways, it makes sense that couples would be involved. In fact, I believe that it should be a matter of policy that not male Deacon, Elder, or Pastor is allowed to meet alone with a woman, and that no female Deacon is allowed to meet alone with a man. When possible, our spouses should be involved. When that isn’t possible, another Deacon or Elder should be present.

Let me make some observations about the qualifications that we’ve read.

Deacons must prove themselves blameless ().

Deacons wives must be dignified ().

We see that none of these qualifications requires a man to be a “super Christian” in order to serve as an Elder. In fact, for the most part they really describe someone who is sort of boring and stable, nothing more than a mature adult. Most of them don’t even have a spiritual flavor to them, although about a half-dozen make it clear that we are talking about genuine, born-again Christians who are firm in their faith.

We see that every one of these qualifications is what we should want to be true about ourselves. Is there a single qualification that you would say, “Well, that doesn’t apply to ME.” No, not one. The scandals ripping the entertainment world apart right now would not have happened if these things were true of those men and women. The pain and misery in families and society at large would not happen if every man and woman were committed to living this way.

Deacons wives must not be slanderers ().

Deacons wives must be sober-minded ().

They are the sort of traits that we want to see in those we know.

In fact, apart from being able to teach and managing his household well, these are remarkably reasonable and ordinary traits. They describe nothing more than mature adulthood.

Deacons wives must be faithful in all things ().

Husbands, your wives want these things to be true of you. Wives, your husbands want these things to be true of you. Parents, your children need you to have these traits. Children, your parents long for you to have these traits.

Deacons must be the husband of one wife ().

We see that every one of these qualifications is what we ought to want to be true about ourselves. Husbands, I can tell you that your wives want these traits to be true of you. Single men, these traits describe the man a woman wants to know and marry. Wives, just flip “husband of one wife” to “wife of one husband,” and you’ll see the woman your husbands want to have.

Finally, we see that leadership must be deliberately cultivated. None of these are inborn, natural talents possessed only by a few. Some are skills; skills must be learned. Some are the result of spiritual maturity; spiritual maturity comes through years of faithfulness to Jesus Christ. Most of them are character traits that must be taught and developed as we age and mature.

The truth is that Jesus intends for there to be mature, stable leadership in His church, and that He has placed that leadership within reach of any mature man. That doesn’t mean that every man will or ought to be an elder. Notice what Paul writes in ,

Deacons must manage their children and their own households well ().

1 Timothy 3:1 ESV

The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task.

We see traits that we want our children to possess. Childhood is the best place to begin training our children to these character traits. Raising kids is a lot of work, and it can be frustrating at times. But it’s all that much easier when we actually have a goal. Well, here are some goals for you.

And ladies, flip “husband of one wife” to “wife of one husband,” and your husbands

How wonderful it would be if every man so clearly met the qualifications for Elder-Pastor-Overseer that the only issue would be whether they aspired to that ministry!

Finally, we see that leadership must be deliberately cultivated. Finally, unless you men in your teens and twenties and thirties take these traits seriously and develop them, the church – your church – will suffer. Our culture is used to instant results, but this will take time. Start now, and you’ll be ready when the time comes.

Elders must be

Elders must be above rep

Finally, unless you men in your teens and twenties and thirties take these

How Do You Develop These Traits?

I know that you’ve noticed that I’ve been saying “man” and not “men and women.” That’s because the Bible teaches that only men are to be Elder-Pastor-Overseers. This is an entire sermon by itself, but we can see in ,

Skills can be learned. We do it all the time. Every single one of you has already carried out dozens of actions this morning, and you did them pretty much flawlessly. So managing your household well, exercising hospitality, studying the Bible and teaching others, are all skills that can be learned.

Character traits can be developed. Honestly, it’s much easier to learn them at home, but born again Christians have a huge advantage. The Lord is concerned about every aspect of our lives. He wants us to be patient in suffering and godly in relationships. He also wants us to be self-controlled and disciplined in life, which covers prayer and punctuality.

1 Timothy 2:12–14 ESV

I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.

Personal character can be built.

Spiritual growth is a gift of God, but we can cooperate with Him. We can spend regular time studying His Word so that we know what He requires of us. We can confess our failures to faithfully obey Him. We can trust in His power to strengthen us and build us.

This restriction is not based on cultural issues, but on creation and the fall. And just as men are to lead in the home, they are to lead in the church.

The Scripture then immediately

That doesn’t mean that women are second-class citizens; to the contrary, in Christ,

Galatians 3:28 ESV

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

As far as our eternal relationship with Christ goes, ethnicity, economics, and sex make absolutely no difference at all. All are one.

Nor does this mean that women are simply silent lumps in church. Women are strongly commanded to teach younger women (). Timothy learned about God and His Word from his mother and grandmother (; ). A married couple, Priscilla and Aquila, took the time to teach Apollos the truth about Jesus (). But women are not to be ordained to positions of pastoral authority over men in the church.

Some obviously have trouble with this, and see it as an all or nothing proposition. Either women are permitted to do everything, or nothing. Others go so far as to say that women should never lead singing, read Scripture, teach Sunday school.

As far as this life on earth is concerned, there is order. God created mankind male and female; He defined male and female; and He assigned each to a general role. He ordained male leadership in the home and the church by the order of creation itself, says. This was never intended to create two layers of society, one of power, and one of slavery. Such a thing is sin. But we must be careful not to think that sinful abuses cancel out God’s Word.

But as far as this life on earth is concerned, there is order. God created them male and female, He defined male and female, and He assigned each to a general role. He ordained male leadership in the home and the church by the order of creation itself, says. God’s design of men and women is a blessing for both.

God ordained male leadership by the very order of creation, Adam first, and then Eve. This was never intended to create two layers of society, one of power, and one of slavery. Such a thing is sin. But we must be careful not to think that sinful extremes cancel out God’s Word.

This is especially important in marriage and the church, because in both cases the roles of men and women serve as a living picture of Christ and His Bride.

But within that unity is order. God ordained male leadership by the very order of creation, Adam first, and then Eve. This was never intended to create two layers of society, one of power, and one of slavery. Such a thing is sin.

But there is, nevertheless, an order to God’s creation of man and woman.

This relationship depicts the relationship between God the Father and Jesus, and Jesus and His church:

1 Corinthians 11:3 ESV

But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.

First, a man must aspire to the position (). A man who doesn’t want to carry out the ministry should never be made an Elder.

Second, that man must meet the qualifications that we see in and . And at the risk of adding to the Word of God, there is another qualification he must meet: he must actually do the work. I’ve known good, godly men who met all the qualifications, but who would not do the work.

Third, that man must be appointed to the work. Paul wrote to Titus, “This is why I left you in Crete, so that you might put what remained in order, and appoint elders in every town as I directed you.” (). The word appoint means to obligate someone to a job, to be placed in a role. That man is made responsible for the work of an Elder.

As I said, I would want every man and woman in the church to have these qualifications; the benefits would reach far beyond the church doors.

It’s not about value or worth. It’s not about ability. It’s not about spiritual maturity. It’s about God’s will as He has revealed it in the Word of God. Has God really said that women are not to be Elder-Pastor-Overseers? Yes, He has.

Paul wrote Titus, “This is why I left you in Crete, so that you might put what remained in order, and appoint elders in every town as I directed you.” ().

What about public nominations for Elder? No, I don’t think that’s a good idea. That’s a little like saying “We need someone to volunteer to scoop snow tomorrow, and I volunteer ROY.” A man must have the desire to serve the church as an Elder. If you know someone who you think meets the qualifications, by all means, go to that man and tell him what you see in his life. Encourage him, if he has the desire, to let that desire be known.

It is interesting, and troubling, that churches and denominations that ignore this Scripture in order to ordain women usually fall into other, far more troubling, errors as well.

Elders are not elected, but appointed, but nevertheless appointed by the entire church, led by the elders. The qualifications, basic as they are, are necessary. Putting it simply, the church must know that a man wants to be an elder, and have an opportunity to speak.

That being said, the congregation must know and trust that someone meets the qualifications, and desires the role. There were no elders in Crete; that’s why Titus was going to appoint them. After that, I have to assume, appointing new elders fell to the other elders. And while the congregation is never specifically mentioned, nor are we told that the congregation is to be ignored.

Leadership 102

The Exceptional, Exalted, Super-Spiritual Leader

The Boring, Stable, Mature Leader

Abilities

Family

Personal Maturity

Reputation

Spiritual maturity

Qualifications for Elders

Qualifications for Deacons

Wives, Deaconnesses, or Both

A Few Observations About The Qualifications

Male Leadership

How Do You Develop These Traits?

How are Elders chosen?