Follow-Up Pledge, Philemon 18-25

Similarly, you might think what Paul had said was enough. However, if we are to have lasting peace, it is curial that we go the second mile.

Philemon 18–19 ESV

18 If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. 19 I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it—to say nothing of your owing me even your own self.

Paul’s final instructions is a “Follow-Up” pledge.

If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. 19 I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it—to say nothing of your owing me even your own self. 20 Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ.

Why do marriage counselors exist?

1- She multi-tasks. He’s laser-focused.

2- She fights. He takes flight.

3- She wears her heart on her sleeve. He tucks it away.

4- His HEART RATE average 70 beats a minute. HERS 80.

5- SHE has a better sense of smell. million cells in the olfactory bulb. SHE 16 million.

6- SHE blinks 19/min. /min.

7- Men digest meals 20% faster than women.

8- Men are straightforward; they speak their minds.

9- Men communicate through actions more than words.

10- Men don’t feel the need to spell out every single thought

11- Men are empowered when they feel needed.

12- Men’s primary needs are secondary for women, and vice verca

In his book Spiritual Leadership, J. Oswald Sanders explores the qualities and the importance of tact and diplomacy. “Combining these two words,” Sanders says, “the idea emerges of skill in reconciling opposing viewpoints without giving offense and without compromising principle.”

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Philemon 21 ESV

21 Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say.

How to train ourselves to ASSUME best motives:

1. Every single day, compliment or thank your colleagues or brethren for something they’ve done.

2. When your colleagues or brethren says or does something that rankles you, first stop and ask yourself if a stranger would have the same reaction.

3. 📷If all else fails, ask for clarification.

Philemon 22–25 ESV

22 At the same time, prepare a guest room for me, for I am hoping that through your prayers I will be graciously given to you. 23 Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, sends greetings to you, 24 and so do Mark, Aristarchus, Demas, and Luke, my fellow workers. 25 The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.

Paul has just written a conflict resolution agreement between Onesimus and Philemon. He is now telling Philemon that he will be following up.

What aspects of the agreement you reached have been working well? What have you done differently since reaching the agreement? What has the other person done differently since reaching the agreement? What aspects of the agreement are causing frustration/disappointment/anxiety?

I may also used close ended questions, as needed, such as:

Have you been following the terms of your new agreement? Have you been meeting regularly as proposed? 📷When last did you look at the agreement?

Follow-Up Pledge, Philemon 18-25

1. Pledge to fill the gap

1. Pledge to fill the gap

2. Pledge to assume the best motives

3. Pledge to make a follow-up visit