Developing The Leader Within You

Developing the Leader Within You.

Asked someone recently, ‘What topic shall we look at for the next café service?’

‘How about being a leader? What does it mean to show leadership?’

1. Not talking about positional leadership (being given a role, a title, a job description)
2. Talking about the quality of leadership that each one of us will at times in our life show.

INFLUENCE

Definition of leadership: John Maxwell gives very simple definition: Leadership is influence.

Everyone at some stage in life will want to influence others – this is leadership in action.

God’s view of leadership is very different from that of society.

1. Aim for relational influence

I led one of the young adults home groups in my church for a year when I was living in Wellington – I had been leading it for around 6 months with a couple of other people. Then an older guy was appointed the role of overseeing the home groups – of providing training and so on. And suddenly we were expected to go to these events for training and to report to him on the progress of the group and so on.

I remember talking with one of my co-leaders – girl called Annette. She said she really resented all these things that we as leaders had to do, not because the training wasn’t important or necessary, but because this guy hadn’t taken the time to get to know us leaders on our level, attend the home group, and get a feel of the culture of what was happening, before he started making demands on our time.

Taught me a really important lesson:

People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.

If you want to influence others effectively, you have to be in healthy relationships with them.

Have an existing relationship of care and trust with others.

John 10:3-5

He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. 5 But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger's voice."

This means that your influence is for their good.

John 10:10-11  I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. JN 10:11 "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.

The tasks of a Near Eastern shepherd were:

   - to watch for enemies trying to attack the sheep

   - to defend the sheep from attackers

   - to heal the wounded and sick sheep

   - to find and save lost or trapped sheep

   - to love them, sharing their lives and so earning their trust.

During World War II, a shepherd was a pilot who guided another pilot whose plane was partially disabled back to the base or carrier by flying alongside him to maintain visual contact.

1. Aim for servant influence

World’s view of leadership is:

• Power
• Top down
• You get to boss others
• There are more and more perks the higher you get.

Godly influence always involves some degree of service

Matthew 20:20-28  It was about that time that the mother of the Zebedee brothers came with her two sons and knelt before Jesus with a request. "What do you want?" Jesus asked. She said, "Give your word that these two sons of mine will be awarded the highest places of honor in your kingdom, one at your right hand, one at your left hand." Jesus responded, "You have no idea what you're asking." And he said to James and John, "Are you capable of drinking the cup that I'm about to drink?" They said, "Sure, why not?" Jesus said, "Come to think of it, you are going to drink my cup. But as to awarding places of honor, that's not my business. My Father is taking care of that." When the ten others heard about this, they lost their tempers, thoroughly disgusted with the two brothers. So Jesus got them together to settle things down. He said, "You've observed how godless rulers throw their weight around, how quickly a little power goes to their heads. It's not going to be that way with you. Whoever wants to be great must become a servant. Whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave. That is what the Son of Man has done: He came to serve, not be served--and then to give away his life in exchange for the many who are held hostage."

(Matthew 20:20-28 MSG)

G.W. Target, in his essay ‘The Window,’ tells the story of two men confined to hospital beds in the same room. Both men were seriously ill and though they were not allowed much diversion – no television, radio, or books – their friendship developed over months of conversation. They discussed every possible subject in which they both had interest or experience, from family to jobs to vacations, as well as much of their own personal histories.

Neither man left his bed, but one was fortunate enough to be next to the window. As part of his treatment he could sit up in bed for just an hour a day. At this time he would describe the world outside to his roommate. In very descriptive terms he would bring the outside world inside to this friend, describing to him the beautiful park he could see, with its lake, and the many interesting people he saw spending their time there. His friend began to live for those descriptions.

After a particularly fascinating report, the one man began to think it was not fair that his friend got to see everything while he could see nothing. He was ashamed of his thoughts, but he had quite a bit of time to think and he couldn’t get this out of his mind. Eventually his thoughts began to take their eff3ect on his health, and he became even more ill, with a disposition to match.

One evening his friend, who sometimes had difficulty with congestion and breathing, awoke with a fit of coughing and choking and was unable to push the button for the nurse to come to his aid. The frustrated, sour man lay there looking at the ceiling, listening to this struggle for life next to him, and doing nothing.

The next morning the day nurse came in to find the man by the window dead.

After a proper interval, the man who was so eager to see out that window asked if he could be moved, and it was quickly done. As soon as the room was empty, the man struggled up on his elbow to look out the window and fill his spirit with the sights of the outside world.

It was then he discovered the window faced a blank wall.

1. Aim to have a purposeful influence

Have a vision for what you want your influence to be in the lives of others.

Get specific.

What parts of your life do you want to rub off on the lives of your friends?

Another picture of leadership and influence in the Bible is the picture that Jesus gives of a manager or a steward.

A steward is not a word we use all that much today, but it means someone who has been given something to look after or to use on behalf of the owner.

Ephesians 3:2. Paul says that God had given him ‘the administration of God’s grace’.

Word for administrator  or steward is oikonomos. (oikos = house; nomos = law).

In Luke 12:42-43, Jesus gives the illustration of a servant of a household who is given the job of looking after the other servants.

The Lord answered, “Who then is the faithful and wise manager, whom the master puts in charge of his servants to give them their food allowance at the proper time? It will be good for that servant whom the master finds doing so when he returns.”

Our motivation in exercising influence is to serve Jesus, not ourselves. This means we use our influence to achieve things in other people’s lives that will glorify Jesus.

1. Aim to inspire, not compel

I remember the first time I made a stand about not drinking alcohol – I was 16 at the time, and I had gone to the birthday party of a friend of mine called Gary.

During the party, a bunch of us were standing outside this hall in the middle of the northland wops where the party was, and someone pulled out some tequila I think! This friend of mine offered me some and with a huge gulp, and my knees shaking, I said ‘Ah, no thanks, I don’t drink’.

I still remember the look in his eye – He asked ‘Because of your parents or because of your principles?’.

‘Because of my principles’.

O.K.

We can’t compel others.

Another day, a man stopped Jesus and asked, "Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?" Jesus said, "Why do you question me about what's good? God is the One who is good. If you want to enter the life of God, just do what he tells you." The man asked, "What in particular?" Jesus said, "Don't murder, don't commit adultery, don't steal, don't lie, honor your father and mother, and love your neighbor as you do yourself." The young man said, "I've done all that. What's left?" "If you want to give it all you've got," Jesus replied, "go sell your possessions; give everything to the poor. All your wealth will then be in heaven. Then come follow me." That was the last thing the young man expected to hear. And so, crestfallen, he walked away. He was holding on tight to a lot of things, and he couldn't bear to let go. As he watched him go, Jesus told his disciples, "Do you have any idea how difficult it is for the rich to enter God's kingdom?

(Matthew 19:16-23 MSG)

What things about you will inspire?

• Your convictions
• Your integrity
• Your attitude

Good exercise:

Write the name of a friend whom you greatly admire: ___________________________________________

Write one thing that you admire most about that friend: _________________________________________

Then collate all the reason answers. I put an A beside the characteristics that describe attitudes, an S beside those describing skills, and an L if the words deal with looks. Every time I conduct this exercise, 95% of the descriptive words represent attitudes for which the friends are admired.

The Carnegie Institute not long ago analysed the records of ten thousand persons and concluded that 15% of success is due to technical training. The other 85% is due to personality, and the primary personality trait identified by the research is attitude.

Attitude is the most important thing. It’s more important that appearance, giftedness, or skill … and the cool thing is that unlike our looks and our skills … we get to choose the attitude we have.

1. Set others up to succeed.

Playstation II ad: The ‘Get on Board’ Ad – This enormous, sky-scraper-tall pile of people in the middle of a city. People clawing their way over each other to reach the top of this thing. There is this one guy who reaches the top and he shakes his fist in triumph, yelling out to the world that he is number 1, and then suddenly hands reach up and pull him down and someone else takes his place.

Be a springboard for others

Don’t be threatened by the success of those you are influencing.

Two contrasting pictures in the Bible of how a mentor reacted:

• One is the picture of Saul and how he acted towards David
• The other is the picture of Paul and how he acted towards Timothy.

Be a Paul, not a Saul.

Better still, be a Jesus,

    PHP 2:5 Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:

  PHP 2:6 Who, being in very nature n God,

    did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,

  PHP 2:7 but made himself nothing,

    taking the very nature n of a servant,

    being made in human likeness.