Needs are Different

Dr. Willard Harley, a Massachusetts psychologist, surveyed the basic needs of men and women in marriage and found (this is amazing) that the needs are completely different. According to Dr. Harley’s survey,

The top five basic needs of the female in marriage are:

1. Affection

2. Communication

3. Openness/Honesty

4. Financial Support

5. Family Commitment

The male’s top five basic needs are:

1. Sexual Fulfillment

2. Recreational Companionship

3. An Attractive Wife

4. Domestic Support

5. Admiration

Looking at both lists, it becomes obvious that if we give our spouses what we need, hoping to receive the same in return, we will miss the mark every time. Therefore, instead of giving what we need, we must affair-proof our marriages by striving to give what our partners need.

From Bad Beginnings to Happy Endings, by Ed Young (Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publ., 1994), pp. 120-121.