Up Hill Habits #4

Welcome -

Aristotle: We form our habits and our habits form us.

Most People Have Up Hill Hopes and Down Hill Habits

Most people being each year hoping for something better. Raise, kick and addiction, relationships will be better...

I know you have your goals and dreams, but many of those are not what God is wanting you to do… you are doing these on your own power.

Start this way...

Romans 12:2 The Message

2 Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

Week 1 - Focus on What You Do First

Week 2 - Control Our Thoughts.

Week 3 - Keep My Life Aligned with My Purpose.

Today’s Habit is a Giant one

Habit #4: CHOOSE MY RELATIONSHIPS CAREFULLY

You are the sum total of your relationships.

You are who you are and where you are because of the people in your life.

Your relationship decisions are the most important decisions you will every make. You show me your friends and I will show you your future.

Proverbs 27:19 The Living Bible

19 A mirror reflects a man’s face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses.

4 Verbs or relationship choices you need to make that will change your life.

Nurture my important Relationships.

God, Family, Friends …

YOur relationships are in the condition they are because of the attention and nurture you give or don’t give it.

I pray for you and your families.

ILL - You may think the fire has gone out of your relationship… the fireplace is not the problem… get a match. Light that fire. Re light that fire.

Relationships take work and that’s what nurture is.

Kathy - best wife in the world. I am married to an angel… not easy. Devil hates our marriage and we have to work on it. I will be married to Kathy long after I am no longer doing what I am doing or what she is doing…

The grass is not greener on the other side… and if it is, it’s because the water bill is higher.

You can restart the relationship fire.

Choices lead, feelings will follow. Don’t lead your life with your feelings so if you make the right choices, your feelings will follow.

Nurture your relationships

They did a marriage conference.

1 Peter 4:7–8 NIV84

7 The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. 8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

Love Covers - disunity and conflict is of the devil. This idea of if we disagree, we hate each other is of the devil. Love covers.

Restore my Broken Relationships.

I know that this is hard.

The pain of fixing the relationship is not as bad a the broken relationship.

I know that you are not always able to fix it because the other person will not work with you.

Look at this… not i your notes

Romans 12:17–18 NIV84

17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

I know that this is difficult and not always possible.

Determine that you will do this as far as you are concerned. If you can’t live at peace with them, live at peace with you. Decide that you will forgive… no matter what they do.

Lord’s Prayer - Jesus said that we are to forgive others … Wee need it. We need to forgive others.

Forgiveness is a daily decision. Forgive me as I forgive other people. I need to do this… release them to the Lord. We cannot hold un-forgiveness in our heart and be successful.

Un-forgiveness is like setting yourself on fire and hope they die of smoke inhalation.

Colossians 3:13 NIV

13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Last line - This makes it easy. How can I hold un-forgiveness towards someone when God has forgiven me so much.

Sever any Harmful Relationships.

or redefine your harmful relationships.

Not your husband or wife … God wants the marriage relationships restored.

Sever Relationships that we have allowed into our lives that you know are not good for you. Flirtatious relationships on … FB Relationships, or classmates…

couple were cheating on each other with someone else on FB. They arranged a meeting with the person and when they met, it was each other and it made them mad and they divorced.

Stop those flirtatious relationships at work… change jobs if you have to.

Read Proverbs 5, 6, 7 - results of adulterous relationships. Do whatever it takes to Get away from it.

Co-habitation - living together. No one wants to commit. Get married. Couple that had kids and lived separately until they got married.

Stop the flirting - look at the consequences. Look at what you will lose, the people you will hurt and stop it. Cut it off. Change your number, Get off FB, move, Change jobs...

Proverbs 13:20 NLT

20 Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.

1 Corinthians 15:33 NLT

33 Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for “bad company corrupts good character.”

This one is happy....

Initiate some Meaningful Relationships.

Start some relationships you don’t have. In Recovery, you are taught to change your places you go, people you hang out with and things you do.

You need to rid yourself of some relationships and initiate new, godly, and healthy relationships.

Hebrews 10:25 NIV84

25 Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

We all need meaningful relationships. It takes effort. The friends that drag you down are easy to find. We have to find the right kind of meaningful relationships.

Here is how you can initiate new meaningful relationships.

Putting the Habit Into Practice.

If these are not in your life, you need them.

1. Develop my Relationship with My Church.

You need to belong.

30 verses in the NT that talk about connection to A Church.

Ephesians 2:19 The Living Bible

19 Now you are no longer strangers to God and foreigners to heaven, but you are members of God’s very own family, citizens of God’s country, and you belong in God’s household with every other Christian.

I know that there will be times when your are just coming and watching… that’s ok. But there comes a time when you need to belong.

ILL - marriage - Kathy and I had an attender kind of relationship .... dating. Then we decided to become members and we had a wedding…

I know some of you are checking things out, and that’s ok. But you will not know if you fit until you commit and get involved. You need to make the commitment to join and be a member.

2. Develop my relationship with Godly Friends.

Here is how you know you have godly friends … they pull you up towards Jesus and your relationship with him.

Acts 2:44 The Living Bible

44 And all the believers met together constantly and shared everything with each other,

Secret - get to a comfort level where you can share honestly and openly. We need a place where we can take our masks off.

We want to develop more small groups that meet 2 times per month.

Groups - Andre & Nettie / Ladies / Mens / Worship Team /

Freedom - 12 week course - conference at the end.

All of us need a place where we can be open and share.

3. Develop my Relationship with a Team.

Get on a team. Dream Team is what I am calling our volunteers.

Children

First Impressions - Greeters and Ushers

Worship Team -

Building Team -

Compassion Team -

Rivarde Team - if want to lead a Bible Study...

Youth Team - want to work with teens… start with the ones here and then we can move outward.

Small Group Team - If you want to lead a group. If you think God wants you to teach or lead this is your opportunity. As long as what you are teaching is something we can approve of, we are ok.

Ecclesiastes 4:8–9 NIV84

8 There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother. There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth. “For whom am I toiling,” he asked, “and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?” This too is meaningless— a miserable business! 9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:

4. Develop My Relationship with God.

Noticed - people try God. That’s like trying to be in the NBA, or the Olympics… it takes a life time of training.

You can’t just try God.

My testimony - I never missed church growing up. I was not saved. I did not want to be a fanatic.

We have people that go crazy over the Saints… they spend lots of money to go to the games… park blocks away and walk and then go crazy in the game and do all of the things Psalms describes. I’m not going all in for a team that doesn’t know me and not go all in for the God who created me.

At the age of 17 I went all in. If you don’t listen to God’s urging, he will allow a crisis to bring you to God. You can’t just try God, you have to go all in.

Jeremiah 29:13 NLT

13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.

Encourage you - why not let 2018 be the year that you go all in with the Lord?

As long as you are trying to walk as close to the old life as you can, but kind of follow God, you will be miserable.

If you are ready to go all in… put your hand up… I want to pray for you....

Altar time - during the last worship song.