Nouthetic Counselling 6

GATHERING DATA

LESSON OBJECTIVES:

1 YOU ALREADY KNOW YOUR COUNSELEES BASIC PROBLEM

The Scriptures have already informed you about your counselee

Adam’s sin underlies every difficulty in life

B Adam’s sin underlies every difficulty in life

1 It led to guilt (not merely guilt feelings but culpability before God)

It led to guilt (not merely guilt feelings but culpability before God)

2 It led to corruption—the inability to please God ()

It led to corruption—the inability to please God ()

C So, the fundamental problem every person has is sin

So, the fundamental problem every person has is sin

“There you go again”

1 “There you go again”

The elephant and the blind man

2 The elephant and the blind man

3 This is the broadest view you can take

This is the broadest view you can take

D This sin can be presented in various ways

This sin can be presented in various ways

It could be sin committed against your counselee

1 It could be sin committed against your counselee

● Perhaps he does not know how to handle it

Perhaps he does not know how to handle it

Perhaps he has responded to it sinfully .

● Perhaps he has responded to it sinfully .

It could be sin committed by the counselee himself

2 It could be sin committed by the counselee himself

So, in one direction or another, you will be looking for sin and its consequences

The one exception is when you are called on merely to supply information (perhaps in order to make a decision)

E So, in one direction or another, you will be looking for sin and its consequences

F The one exception is when you are called on merely to supply information (perhaps in order to make a decision)

2 WE ALREDY KNOW WHY SOME PEOPLE COME FOR COUNSELLING

A Advice and answers to troublesome questions

B Depression and guilt

C Vocational counsel

D “Breakdowns” and crises of various sorts

E Failures

F Grief

G Bizarre behavior

H Anxiety, worry, fear

I Marriage and family problems

J Help in resolving conflicts

K Deteriorating personal relationships

L Inability to keep jobs

M Drug and alcohol problems

N Abuse

O Sexual problems

P Attempted suicide

Q Difficulties at work or school

R Deteriorating spiritual life

3 YOU MUST BE AWARE OF THESE MATTERS

So that you can be on the lookout for them

B Counselees are not always aware of the nature of their problems

Counselees are not always aware of the nature of their problems

C Counselees may only speak of one difficulty while there may be others

Counselees may only speak of one difficulty while there may be others

4 SOME TYPES OF HABIT PATTERNS

Avoidance ()—running or hiding

Blame-shifting

B Blame-shifting

1 Frequently between a husband and wife

Frequently between a husband and wife

In all cases sort out the responsibilities

2 In all cases sort out the responsibilities

3 Each must do the right thing before God regardless of what the other does

Each must do the right thing before God regardless of what the other does

Laziness .

C Laziness

D Harboring grudges, resentment, bitterness ()

Harboring grudges, resentment, bitterness ()

Giving up , .

Undisciplined living (; )

E Giving up , .

Shutting down communication ()

F Undisciplined living (; )

G Shutting down communication ()

Lying ()

H Lying ()

Complaining ()

I Complaining ()

5 HOW WILL ALL THESE HELPS?

Soon you will find yourself anticipating where the counseling is going.

B Be exceedingly careful NOT to jump to conclusions

Be exceedingly careful NOT to jump to conclusions

COMMON PROBLEMS

LESSON OBJECTIVES:

1 THERE ARE PROBLEMS COMMON TO VARIOUS CLASSES OF PEOPLE

THERE ARE PROBLEMS COMMON TO VARIOUS CLASSES OF PEOPLE

Children

Parent/child relational problems (especially obedience)

1 Parent/child relational problems (especially obedience)

Peer group difficulties

2 Peer group difficulties

School problems with teachers

3 School problems with teachers

In adolescence: sexual difficulties

4 In adolescence: sexual difficulties

B Older children and singles

Older children and singles

Dating problems

1 Dating problems

Failure to find a friend, husband, or wife

2 Failure to find a friend, husband, or wife

3 Sexual problems

Sexual problems

Communication breakdown with parents

4 Communication breakdown with parents

Decisions about the future—college? career?

5 Decisions about the future—college? career?

C Older singles

Older singles

Resentment over not finding a spouse

1 Resentment over not finding a spouse

Habit patterns that have contributed to this

2 Habit patterns that have contributed to this

3 Work, scheduling, eating problems

Work, scheduling, eating problems

4 Homosexual, lesbian possibilities

Homosexual, lesbian possibilities

Married persons

D Married persons

Strains in the marriage

1 Strains in the marriage

Difficult marriage relationships

2 Difficult marriage relationships

Money problems

3 Money problems

Communication breakdowns

4 Communication breakdowns

Depression

5 Depression

Child-related problems

6 Child-related problems

Older persons

E Older persons

Loneliness—especially after the death of a spouse or divorce

1 Loneliness—especially after the death of a spouse or divorce

Grief

2 Grief

Self-pity

3 Self-pity

Physical aches and pains

4 Physical aches and pains

Sleep loss

5 Sleep loss

Purposelessness

6 Purposelessness

Fear of death

7 Fear of death

Handicapped persons

F Handicapped persons

Resentment against God or others

1 Resentment against God or others

Self-pity

2 Self-pity

Sense of uselessness

3 Sense of uselessness

Loneliness

4 Loneliness

Physical pain

5 Physical pain

2 IT IS IMPORTANT TO KNOW WHAT TO LOOK FOR

A The principle problem—the problem initially presented by the counselee

B The complicating problems—problems that arise from failing to handle the principle problem biblically

The complicating problems—problems that arise from failing to handle the principle problem biblically

Life dominating problems—problems that get into every area of life .

Think of your counselee’s life as a pizza with a number of slices

C Life dominating problems—problems that get into every area of life .

Deal with each slice as it is affected by the problem (drunkenness)

Friends

1 Think of your counselee’s life as a pizza with a number of slices

2 Deal with each slice as it is affected by the problem (drunkenness)

Marriage

● Friends

● Marriage

The Spirit needs to fill every area where the bottle used to fill

3 The Spirit needs to fill every area where the bottle used to fill

Filled, not as a gas tank

● Filled, not as a gas tank

But, as a theater—every seat filled

● But, as a theater—every seat filled

3 DISCOVERING PROBLEM PATTERNS

In discussing the put off/put on passages from , the matter of habit patterns emerged.

1 Because of the all-pervasiveness of such patterns, it is critical to discover whether there are such patterns in a counselee’s life.

Because of the all-pervasiveness of such patterns, it is critical to discover whether there are such patterns in a counselee’s life.

One way to do so is through using a Discovering Problem Patterns (DPP) form.

2 One way to do so is through using a Discovering Problem Patterns (DPP) form.

B The DPP is a flexible instrument. If a counselee is concerned about breaking a pattern of eating between meals, he may keep a DPP to determine what he desires to eat. He may discover that this is connected with certain situations

The DPP is a flexible instrument. If a counselee is concerned about breaking a pattern of eating between meals, he may keep a DPP to determine what he desires to eat. He may discover that this is connected with certain situations

1 When watching TV?

When watching TV?

Under some kind of stress?

2 Under some kind of stress?

3When concerned about children?

When concerned about children?

4 Just before supper when hungry?

Just before supper when hungry?

In interpreting the DPP form look for recurring events, situations, or periods of time. The pattern may be geographical, chronological, interpersonal, and so on.

C In interpreting the DPP form look for recurring events, situations, or periods of time. The pattern may be geographical, chronological, interpersonal, and so on.